Shelumiel:
I speak what is right. You on the other hand speak what will continue to lure women into being rape victims

What is right is to condemn such evil acts. Not to justify it!
There is a reason Nigeria is one of the top unsafe countries to live in.

Dayzzy:

Truth is, one won't think along the line of 'study or boyfriend' anymore if such happens.
Some parents even expect you to be in a relationship in your final year of study so really, that's not it.

Also, it's not clear if he was meant to sleep over..the norms could have been for him to take his leave in the night. For him to take along a wine, he probably had ulterior motives
Truth is, rape is non-consented sex, even if she had it in mind to give in eventually, she isn't ready yet.
There are other ways to satisfy his sexual needs, simple communication between the two could have solved this.

If one should have a boyfriend she should be able to expect things that comes with it, human beings are unpredictable, but my point is she invited her own problem she should bear the consequences of her actions it's very clear to understand.

Shelumiel:
So throwing precaution to the wind and believing that all will be well is the right way to go abi? Please are you even listening to yourself...


And by the way, my girlfriend and I always meet in public places. We choose to do this to avoid many ungodly acts

Guess we will never know.

As to your comments, it's obvious you only want to fault the lady without condemning the evil act...there is a term for such people; Rape apologists.

Dayzzy:

What is right is to condemn such evil acts. Not to justify it!
There is a reason Nigeria is one of the top unsafe countries to live in.

For how long have people been condemning...eh? Till tomorrow people condemn, but there are still rape victims.

Insteady of condemning why not change the strategy of how people date and conduct themselves?

Why not change the value system on which our women and men place on alcohol and sex...?

If all these things are done, I am sure cases like these will be unheard of

Dayzzy:

I tell you.. Reddit or Quora.
You see this nairaland ehn, people will even make things worse

Yeah! See how a lady diagnosed with cancer got help from redditers

MartinsD12:

If one should have a boyfriend she should be able to expect things that comes with it, human beings are unpredictable, but my point is she invited her own problem she should bear the consequences of her actions it's very clear to understand.

The trust issue should not exist normally, it's just how rotten this world has become.
Bearing the consequence is really not as easy as said..the aftermath makes some to loose the will to live.
Betrayal itself hurts talkless of the eventual rape.

I hope she finds the healing she needs if she was truly raped.

Dayzzy:

Guess we will never know.

As to your comments, it's obvious you only want to fault the lady without condemning the evil act...there is a term for such people; Rape apologists.

You kind has been condemning since the act of rape began but what has it achieved? Nothing. So why not change the strategy of how people conduct themselves when dating? Why not tell a woman not drink...why not give godly counsel of how courtship is done.

Or is there anything wrong in doing that?

go and do STD test pray you aint HIV positive then take postinor 2 to avoid pregnancy then DUMP his sorry ass if you are hiv negative and then from henceforth only start dating rich boy who will rape you in dubai and still buy you gift...BUT if you are HIV POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont breakup i repeat dont breakup stick to him but sleep with his dad brother and sisters boyfriend ...nobody has monopoly of been EVIL

Dayzzy:

Here comes the obvious question I have been throwing at you which you chose not to answer.
Careful in her own house? Besides, till when will she be careful? If you are having trust issues in basic scenario like this, then it's a failed relationship.

I hope your girl (if you have one) starts demanding to meet you in a public space simply because she is afraid of the devil you might be

But why do you even bother with that dude? Anyone can see that he's either being very immature or is in fact, a kid.

Girl9999:
Life doesn't seem worth living anymore.

He hasn't even called me to know how I am doing.

I can't believe people are insulting me and blaming me for what happened. I created this thread to get advice and comfort but I'm getting insults. I'm a very emotional person and this isn't helping.

I'm crying all over again just reading some comments. I don't have an alcohol problem and yes I planned on having sex with him soon; when I felt ready, but definitely before marriage. How can you say this is my fault?

Today might be my last day on this earth. Human beings are indeed wicked.

Good morning, I carefully read your story and I understand clearly how you feel, I sent you a mail, reply and I will advice you specifically on what to do. ignore ppl mocking and taunting you, DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE, it won't help you , your family , love one etc, thank you.

richmond500:
Some people don't need to be humans.

U see an unconscious lady and ur dik stand, raped her and left.

Jesus Christ, I don't care if I go to hell but if I see some persons with me in same chamber in hell, I will protest. Me as a fornicator can't share same hell with a rapist.
OP, u dont have to report him to any police.

Here is what u will do, try talk to him and ask why he raped u, make sure u have hidden camera or a voice recorder, record everything he said without him knowing it.


Only God forgives people, u are not God, but it will be wise to send him to God

Find all those street touts, play the record to them and ask them to do whatever they feel with him, dont feel remorse no matter what happened to him after that.

So street touts are also useful and essential.....
But what if they lynched the guy at the end because they do over react to issue.........

Shelumiel:
For how long have people been condemning...eh? Till tomorrow people condemn, but there are still rape victims.

Insteady of condemning why not change the strategy of how people date and conduct themselves?

Why not change the value system on which our women and men place on alcohol and sex...?

If all these things are done, I am sure cases like these will be unheard of

Where did you keep this before

True though. It's exactly what I have been trying to point out. When the misplaced value placed on sex is fixed, visiting one's boyfriend/girlfriend will never result to a traumatic experience as it does in this age.

It's a country full of corrupted minds, rotten system and misplaced priorities.

But then, I will never blame the op while overlooking the guy's evil action.

Liposure:
should i say you were compensated...

Something like that.

Don't listen to all these nonsense boys here on NL
First thing is to take a contraceptive to prevent unwanted pregnancy
Secondly pray seriously that he should not infect you with any disease
Thirdly cut any communication with the coward
Lastly stay strong, move on with your life, better days ahead
You will be fine
You will find love and a genuine man
I did after being abused and abandoned with pregnancy.

Dayzzy:

The trust issue should not exist normally, it's just how rotten this world has become.
Bearing the consequence is really not as easy as said..the aftermath makes some to loose the will to live.
Betrayal itself hurts talkless of the eventual rape.

I hope she finds the healing she needs if she was truly raped.

There is no trust in relationship nowadays, even some married couples don't trust themselves talk less of boyfriend, girlfriend that kind of relationship shouldn't be trusted at all, it's just a play ground with people with their intentions and needs to they want to be fulfilled, majority of girls having boyfriend these days are for the guys to pay their bills and majority of guys having girlfriend is just for sexual needs it's a trade by barter so she shouldn't be surprised the guy got what he wanted that's why I say it's a play ground, am sure the guy is spending on her and she said she plan giving him sex, it's very funny I don't know her age but sex it's not something you plan giving one infact it's a natural thing that can happen anywhere there is no planning there.

Girl9999:
I created this account to hide my identity. I'm in a very emotional condition at the moment. I've been crying since morning. I've not left my house, not even for church. I've lost the will to live, all because of what happened yesterday evening.

I've been dating this guy for two months. I thought he was a great guy. He was always nice to me, smart and hard-working. I lost my virginity at the age of 18 in University and it was to someone that just wanted to have sex with me. He lied about loving me. All he wanted was sex and when he had his way he abandoned me and dated another girl in my department. Since then I've had a fear of relationships, most importantly of sex. I vowed to only have sex with someone I was going to marry; someone I was certain loved me.

When I met my boyfriend, I thought he was the one. We vibed well and we were both in the same field of work. Everything seemed to click. I opened up to him about my experience and my decision to have sex only when I was ready. He agreed and said he was going to respect my wishes.

Yesterday he visited me at my apartment. This wasn't the first time he was visiting me. We paid each other visits all the time. This time he brought a bottle of wine with him. I prepared food, we both eat and he served us some wine. The last thing I remember is taking few sips and then everything else is blurry.

Next thing I am waking up by 8am this morning with a severe headache, cramped legs and a sore feeling around my vagina. There was something that looked like dried semen on my left thigh and some around my breast. I could also perceive the scent of his perfume on my body. He raped me. The man that claimed to love me raped me. I haven't spoken to anyone since morning, all I've been doing is crying. My phone has been on silent all day.

I want to report him to the police but first I want to look at his face and ask why he would do this to me. I already planned on having sex with him soon. Why couldn't he wait? I want to involve my parents and his parents as well but I don't want this news to spread and take a hit on my reputation. I'm confused about what to do.

Why are men like this? I feel defiled and violated. My mind has been constantly flooded with suicidal thoughts all day. If I make it through this, I'm done with relationships forever.

That is a sad incident u have faced, but there nothing much to do about it than to abstain from the guy.. if you are thinking of arresting him, also remember you need concrete evidence to support your claim. But I will advise you let go and try not to trust a guy easily. A real guy will not pick offence if u try to prove difficult in getting. So make your game tight next time while you also watch out for a genuine love... Get over it and be strong

dollytino4real:
u dey ur house b4 the drugs fly enter ur mouth, lady sorry dat I did not show any empathy!,pls we NL love u stay strong

Chai

Girl9999:
I created this account to hide my identity. I'm in a very emotional condition at the moment. I've been crying since morning. I've not left my house, not even for church. I've lost the will to live, all because of what happened yesterday evening.

I've been dating this guy for two months. I thought he was a great guy. He was always nice to me, smart and hard-working. I lost my virginity at the age of 18 in University and it was to someone that just wanted to have sex with me. He lied about loving me. All he wanted was sex and when he had his way he abandoned me and dated another girl in my department. Since then I've had a fear of relationships, most importantly of sex. I vowed to only have sex with someone I was going to marry; someone I was certain loved me.

When I met my boyfriend, I thought he was the one. We vibed well and we were both in the same field of work. Everything seemed to click. I opened up to him about my experience and my decision to have sex only when I was ready. He agreed and said he was going to respect my wishes.

Yesterday he visited me at my apartment. This wasn't the first time he was visiting me. We paid each other visits all the time. This time he brought a bottle of wine with him. I prepared food, we both eat and he served us some wine. The last thing I remember is taking few sips and then everything else is blurry.

Next thing I am waking up by 8am this morning with a severe headache, cramped legs and a sore feeling around my vagina. There was something that looked like dried semen on my left thigh and some around my breast. I could also perceive the scent of his perfume on my body. He raped me. The man that claimed to love me raped me. I haven't spoken to anyone since morning, all I've been doing is crying. My phone has been on silent all day.

I want to report him to the police but first I want to look at his face and ask why he would do this to me. I already planned on having sex with him soon. Why couldn't he wait? I want to involve my parents and his parents as well but I don't want this news to spread and take a hit on my reputation. I'm confused about what to do.

Why are men like this? I feel defiled and violated. My mind has been constantly flooded with suicidal thoughts all day. If I make it through this, I'm done with relationships forever.

Why should you loose the will to live over sex? Women should be calming down. Sex is not the end of the world. Be sure first, that you were raped. Bottle of wine was obviously cocked, at what point did he slip in the drugs. I suspect that both of you got drunk and had sex, but you in typical slay Queen fashion wants to make some money off him due to nefarious advice from your colleagues.

Leave the man alone, become a lesbian. Let's hear word.

Queenslander:
um, older ladies or aunties as you put it taking advantage of young boys,. That's not rape,. That's actually sexual abuse,. There's a difference.. I still stand on my previous post,. Only men can commit rape!! Quote me anywhere!!

define rape, rape is sex without consent. So what does aunties are doing is not rape really? By the way who told you young men don't get raped that men dont speak up doesn't mean it does not happen. As a learned fellow, u can ask Google about stories of male rape victims in other to be enlightened. Don't be arrogantly confident in what u don't know. Go and seek knowledge

Of u intend having sex with him on a future date, then why r u angry DAT he touched u. If he's worth access 2ur body on a later date y conceive suicidal thoughts because he touched u b4 dat period. I come in peace; but if u need a reparation 4 my comment "Let me see what I can do"

Dayzzy:

Where did you keep this before

True though. It's exactly what I have been trying to point out. When the misplaced value placed on sex is fixed, visiting one's boyfriend/girlfriend will never result to a traumatic experience as it does in this age.

It's a country full of corrupted minds, rotten system and misplaced priorities.

But then, I will never blame the op while overlooking the guy's evil action.

Keep? This was the point I wanted you to see but you kept making it look like I was insensitive to what happened to the lady.

I also wanted you to know that condemning and not letting people take full responsibility for their actions only tends to give room for such to continue to happen in society.

Roddd:


Yeah! See how a lady diagnosed with cancer got help from redditers

https://www.fradormedia.com/2021/02/amazing-see-the-post-that-got-billie-joe-armstrong-record-a-personal-video-for-a-fan.html

When a forum is full of matures minds and experts in various fields, it's never a miss to seek for help... and you will be marveled at the number of hours these people devote to provide help and useful answers daily.

For me, I do more of quora, and every minutes on the mobile app is a learning moment.
Nairaland is just to update myself on news and get info from few useful threads.

No, don't talk like this.
I know u are deeply hurt, the only one u can trust is God, even your parents may fail u, everything and everyone on Earth may disappoint u, only Jesus never fail.
Please stop thinking about suicide, it won't solve anything, all I see in u right now is depression, please don't let that situation get better part of u.
The guy needs to be punished and u need to heal, I pray to God to help u out of this trauma u are in Jesus name.

Girl9999:
Life doesn't seem worth living anymore.

He hasn't even called me to know how I am doing.

I can't believe people are insulting me and blaming me for what happened. I created this thread to get advice and comfort but I'm getting insults. I'm a very emotional person and this isn't helping.

I'm crying all over again just reading some comments. I don't have an alcohol problem and yes I planned on having sex with him soon; when I felt ready, but definitely before marriage. How can you say this is my fault?

Today might be my last day on this earth. Human beings are indeed wicked.

Durentt:
hello calm down, I would advise you call me so we can talk

I would be your emotional support (I am a homosexual male so I will have no sexual interests in you)

Chisos a ***?? I better run for my dear ass

I don't want to sound like I am not sensitive enough but I think you are overreacting. More so, thinking of suicide and involving other people will make it worse. Yes, he was wrong but why not call him and ask confront him before taking further decisions? Yes, its possible both of you were drunk. He made a mistake but it doesn't translate to killing him. His response from your interrogation will determine your next line of action.

Shelumiel:
Keep? This was the point I wanted you to see but you kept making it look like I was insensitive to what happened to the lady.

I also wanted you to know that condemning and not letting people take full responsibility for their actions only tends to give room for such to continue to happen in society.

Taking responsibility is default in this case. No need to stress that. Is she not passing through the trauma herself?
She is here because she is confused about what to do, not because she needs someone to scold her.
Help her out first and when she heals eventually, you can then let her see the errors you think she made.

Queenslander:
lool,. I've never heard about that,. Like forever,. though rape can happen to anyone, both men and women can be raped, but only men can commit rape!!

That's a lie from the pit of hell.. I have a friend who was gang raped by four girls all because he was a Secondary school student then and they we're in University, he now summon courage to ask of them out..The next thing that girl did was to invite him over to her house where he was chopped by em all (4 girls) ..
So women too dey rape.. Its just that its a shame for a man to claim being rape by girls. So they normally keep it to themself.

Dayzzy:

Taking responsibility is default in this case. No need to stress that. Is she not passing though the trauma herself?
She is here because she is confused about what to do, not because she needs someone to scold her.
Help her out first and when she heals eventually, you can then let her see the errors you think she made.

I do not think she is here for help ; she is probably here for sympathy. For if she were, the police station and her parents would be the first place to go.

But let me leave it at that.

Heterodox:
Type abeg....

I v went to an herberlist because of my ex before I almost sacrifice my life for him I gave him my everything ndwhere is he today?

Rocktation:


But why do you even bother with that dude? Anyone can see that he's either being very immature or is in fact, a kid.

Lol... I only wanted to understand the rationale behind his opinion.
Turns out he is not as cold as he sounded initially.

Shelumiel:
I do not think she is here for help ; she is probably here for sympathy. For if she were, the police station and her parents would be the first place to go.

But let me leave it at that.

She will have to let them know eventually.
I hope she has good parents. If the parents won't show a bit of support for her, then it's not a good idea.
When the only set of people that could help throws one out, all hope will be lost and that's an imminent danger.

Girl9999:


The only two men I've loved and taken seriously have both betrayed me. I can't trust any man again.

Sister! about your experience, switch to church, it never late before you go hate everyone; men are good but when you're carried away by what you know and see as Love in your own understanding; you jam Wall. LOVE took you away, do you think hatred will do you good. You sold your virginity by 18 because you wanted to explore thereby opening doors for devil to enter. Go for deliverance if not ,you might be attracting these kind of human beings oooh. The best teacher in this world is Experience. Sorry and don't kill yourself "Jesus Christ loves you and cares for you, you can start asking God for forgiveness ,so that you will start afresh " Also, for your impatient dating partner too. Live moves on.