ratiken:
I think you miss the point. As we speak, many Nigerian youths are robbing on highways, traffic, homes, store etc. The others are neck deep in yahoo scheming hard earners, our ladies are into prostitution, others into rituals. Many rapes and killings. Most of the bokoharam members, bandits and herdsmen are youths too (they are Nigerians... dont forget that). The average Nigerian you engage in business wants to defraud you. Look at the political class.... are they not raised with the African values?

Point is don't single out a single act in the west to compare to the terrible youth future in Nigeria.

I don't think folks understand how badly the culture in Nigeria has deteriorated. The chance that an average Nigerian youth will not resort to Yahoo and prostitution is less than 30%

So which Nigerian culture is even better than the west in the true sense?

Obviously, culture changes and evolves (always has)...
But just as many (probably much more) Nigerian youths are NOT “robbing on highways, traffic, home, store, etc.”

Frankly, it is wrong to classify these happenings as characterizing mainstream Nigerian culture, because the overwhelming majority of Nigerians would still react negatively to these events and regard them as bad things. We all have to beware of the danger of the single narrative - on all sides. There were 577 mass shootings in the US in 2019 (defined as involving 4 or more victims), which more is 1.5 daily, an average of about 40-50K gun-related deaths (mostly homicides), the occasional school shooting, and rampant racism. But even as pervasive as these things are, it would not be accurate to equate it to “American culture” because US culture (just like Nigerian/African) involves so much more.
>

9jaRealist:


Obviously, culture changes and evolves (always has)...
But just as many (probably much more) Nigerian youths are NOT “robbing on highways, traffic, home, store, etc.”

Frankly, it is wrong to classify these happenings as characterizing mainstream Nigerian culture, because the overwhelming majority of Nigerians would still react negatively to these events and regard them as bad things. We all have to beware of the danger of the single narrative - on all sides. There were 577 mass shootings in the US in 2019 (defined as involving 4 or more victims), which more 1.5 daily, an average of about 40-50K gun-related deaths (mostly homicides), the occasional school shooting, and rampant racism. But even as pervasive as these things are, it would not be accurate to equate it to “American culture” because US culture (just like Nigerian/African) involves so much more.
>

Please can you in concise words define the mainstream Nigeria culture oflof today?

If you objectively answer this question, you will understand how bad things have deteriorated and I feel sad that Nigerians have refused to face the issue to address it.

I am not making a case for the western culture but the current mainstream value system entrenched in the sociocultural system in Nigeria is almost worse than the west. Because hypocrisy is entrenched, we can't speak out.

I grew up in a society where neighbours and relatives will reprimand me if I am naughty even before my parents return... but that communal living have since left Naija

I grew up in a Nigeria where 419 was a trade for old criminals whom the society frowned at. Today, high school students are into Internet fraud and so called yahoo boys are the big boys of the hood. The Nigerian society hypocritically celebrate them.

Growing up, cheating someone in business will have the society frowning at you. Today, its normal to cheat someone in business and be referred to as the sharp guy. The average Nigerian you engage in trade or business is out to cheat you if you lose your guard

Growing up, prostitution was in brothels and men who patronise prostitutes sneak in and out to avoid the societal label. Today, girls less than 15 have started plying their trade online. Runs is the real deal and you are slow if you aint part of the game. Even the society acknowledges that a lady need to sleep with politicians to buy a decent car or build a house. Sit back and imagine the impact of these on the psyche of the girl child.

Our political leadership are offshoots of our societal values. We now export fraud and prostitution.

Bandits, bokoharam, herdsmen murdering hundreds, raping and burning settlements are also Nigerians.... we should not ever forget that.

Infact, the Nigerians who make us proud were either not trained in Nigeria or were trained in Nigeria but plying their trade abroad (and their kids are not been trained here)

I can write multi pages on this. The value system of the supposed Nigerian system is badly eroded almost beyond redemption.

The only redeemable part of the Nigerian culture resides in the hands of parents who are determined to train their kid the right way and make the sacrifice to achieve such. And this can be achieved both in Nigeria, US or any part of the world.

Anyone who attempts to allow the Nigerian society train their kids like we grew up in the 70s or 80s will have a very terrible outcome

ratiken:

Please can you in concise words define the mainstream Nigeria culture oflof today?

If you objectively answer this question, you will understand how bad things have deteriorated and I feel sad that Nigerians have refused to face the issue to address it.

I am not making a case for the western culture but the current mainstream value system entrenched in the sociocultural system in Nigeria is almost worse than the west. Because hypocrisy is entrenched, we can't speak out.

I grew up in a society where neighbours and relatives will reprimand me if I am naughty even before my parents return... but that communal living have since left Naija

I grew up in a Nigeria where 419 was a trade for old criminals whom the society frowned at. Today, high school students are into Internet fraud and so called yahoo boys are the big boys of the hood. The Nigerian society hypocritically celebrate them.

Growing up, cheating someone in business will have the society frowning at you. Today, its normal to cheat someone in business and be referred to as the sharp guy. The average Nigerian you engage in trade or business is out to cheat you if you lose your guard

Growing up, prostitution was in brothels and men who patronise prostitutes sneak in and out to avoid the societal label. Today, girls less than 15 have started plying their trade online. Runs is the real deal and you are slow if you aint part of the game. Even the society acknowledges that a lady need to sleep with politicians to buy a decent car or build a house. Sit back and imagine the impact of these on the psyche of the girl child.

Our political leadership are offshoots of our societal values. We now export fraud and prostitution.

Bandits, bokoharam, herdsmen murdering hundreds, raping and burning settlements are also Nigerians.... we should not ever forget that.

Infact, the Nigerians who make us proud were either not trained in Nigeria or were trained in Nigeria but plying their trade abroad (and their kids are not been trained here)

I can write multi pages on this. The value system of the supposed Nigerian system is badly eroded almost beyond redemption.

The only redeemable part of the Nigerian culture resides in the hands of parents who are determined to train their kid the right way and make the sacrifice to achieve such. And this can be achieved both in Nigeria, US or any part of the world.

Anyone who attempts to allow the Nigerian society train their kids like we grew up in the 70s or 80s will have a very terrible outcome

Nigerian culture is NOT monolithic (after all, it’s a hodge podge of over 200 ethnicities).
As already acknowledged, culture changes, but what you describing is NOT necessarily culture.

As I mentioned elsewhere on this thread, it is NOT mere coincidence that Nigerians and Nigerian-Americans in the US (and even to some degree, in the UK) overachieve the indigenous population. Why don’t those Nigerians (even the ones who arrived as adults or recently) cheat, defraud and prostitute themselves to the extent that people perceive to be prevalent in Nigerian urban society (of course there will always be outliers and exceptions)? Why do you think Nigerians athletes in the US also always seem to do well academically (when they clearly do not NEED to) and are almost always universally described as well-behaved and respectful? Why do think most other immigrant groups in the US have not replicated the same level of general success, if the X factor is the US rather than an underlying cultural value system? The reality is that while some successful Nigerians unfortunately think they have done so inspite of Nigeria, truth is they have done so precisely because they’re Nigerian!

Anyway, as previously noted, it’s always good counsel to be wary of the dangers of the single narrative. Life/culture is complicated.
>

9jaRealist:


Nigerian culture is NOT monolithic (after all, it’s a hodge podge of over 200 ethnicities).
As already acknowledged, culture changes, but what you describing is NOT necessarily culture.

As I mentioned elsewhere on this thread, it is NOT mere coincidence that Nigerians and Nigerian-Americans in the US (and even to some degree, in the UK) overachieve the indigenous population. Why don’t those Nigerians (even the ones who arrived as adults or recently) cheat, defraud and prostitute themselves to the extent that people perceive to be prevalent in Nigerian urban society (of course there will always be outliers and exceptions)? Why do you think Nigerians athletes in the US also always seem to do well academically (when they clearly do not NEED to) and are almost always universally described as well-behaved and respectful? Why do think most other immigrant groups in the US have not replicated the same level of general success, if the X factor is the US rather than an underlying cultural value system? The reality is that while some successful Nigerians unfortunately think they have done so inspite of Nigeria, truth is they have done so precisely because they’re Nigerian!

Anyway, as previously noted, it’s always good counsel to be wary of the dangers of the single narrative. Life/culture is complicated.
>

So many claims here are not true. There is no evidence that Nigerians overachieve the indigenous population there. Just because they are the most educated does not automatically = success. Like I was explaining to someone the reason why we have such an educated bunch is because we have a culture of going to school as a get rich quick strategy. Go to school to get a job. If you got to school and cant get a job, go back for your masters and if that doesnt work go back again. That's why you have young men and women with 4 - 5 masters degrees and are not experts in their fields.
Who says Nigerians dont cheat and defraud people abroad? In fact it is those that were raised ( the African way) in Nigeria with the get rich at all costs mentality that commit most of the crimes abroad

9jaRealist:


Nigerian culture is NOT monolithic (after all, it’s a hodge podge of over 200 ethnicities).
As already acknowledged, culture changes, but what you describing is NOT necessarily culture.

As I mentioned elsewhere on this thread, it is NOT mere coincidence that Nigerians and Nigerian-Americans in the US (and even to some degree, in the UK) overachieve the indigenous population. Why don’t those Nigerians (even the ones who arrived as adults or recently) cheat, defraud and prostitute themselves to the extent that people perceive to be prevalent in Nigerian urban society (of course there will always be outliers and exceptions)? Why do you think Nigerians athletes in the US also always seem to do well academically (when they clearly do not NEED to) and are almost always universally described as well-behaved and respectful? Why do think most other immigrant groups in the US have not replicated the same level of general success, if the X factor is the US rather than an underlying cultural value system? The reality is that while some successful Nigerians unfortunately think they have done so inspite of Nigeria, truth is they have done so precisely because they’re Nigerian!

Anyway, as previously noted, it’s always good counsel to be wary of the dangers of the single narrative. Life/culture is complicated.
>

Now you are gradually getting close to the point. The Nigerian family unit of pre 90s played active roles in the success stories you are referring to in the US. Direct roles in the childhood or parental transfer of values.

The transfer of moral values from society to individuals in Nigeria seized since the 90s. The trace of success stories you refer to have nothing to do with Nigerian mainstream society but has everything to do with family units within which these individuals were raised.

And I maintain that you don't need to be in Nigeria to transfer these moral traits to kids within the family units. This upbringing can be replicated anywhere (this have been consistently proven by the Chinese and indians in the West) ....infact the Nigerian mainstream society of today has nothing to offer in terms of moral values.

In today's Nigeria, its common place to register kids for WAEC exams at special centers to ensure they pass the exams through cheating. Parents provide funds for students to sort lecturers in the university. Its normal for ladies to sleep with lecturers for grades. This is the mainstream Nigerian society of today and the ones who don't indulge are the outliers. Where is the place of Hard Work and Merit in our value system.

A badly raised kid by the wrong family values will most likely turn out a moral wreck. In the past, the Nigerian society used to aid the not so strong family systems in raising the kids but the opposite is the case today.

In summary there are no societal moral values within mainstream Nigeria anymore, they can only be found in closely guarded family systems.

Which African way? Is it the African way where you are taught to lie from an early age to avoid severe beatings? Is it the African way of teaching children to worship money and dream of becoming a billionaire from the age of 1? Is it the African way of never thinking outside of the normal pattern and always following others like sheep? I wonder if it's the African way of being disorganized and carrying that disorganization into every day life, including driving. Raise your children the African way if you are in Africa. It is much needed to navigate the system of a dark continent.

BadRadio:
Truth is that I am African but I dispise the standards in Africa. Africa seems too primitive, naive and backwards in terms of everything... and I've usually thought of raising my kids the British or American style.


of what importance is an African parents culture and tradition in raising their children the African way rather that the British or American way?


Would it be sensible if a child is a genius in English language than mother tongue.

Are there disadvantages.

There are some aspects of African cultures and traditions that are good, aspecially your local language.

Your child needs to have a link his or her root.

Difikoyii:
Those Americans can be very rude

It depends on what you see as rude. Maybe not calling sister or brother, sir or madam. I am not sure those American kids go about insulting people. As a matter of fact they have courtesy more than us. They use the word "Please, excuse me" etc more than us. I work with both Nigerians and Americans and apart from the eye service sir or madam we address our superiors here which Americans don't care about we are not better than them. Even a white superior will see you and greet you good morning before you could open your mouth.

Jashub:
Are you ready to see homosexuality and other vices in the life of your child? If your answer is yes. Then go for western education.

Who says there are no homo sexuals in Nigeria, Africa? Thesr are people that have not even travelled from the north to Lagos or east to Lagos. Homosexuality has existed in Nigeria before the white men came especially in northern Nigeria.

[s]

Amee101:


Who says there are no homo sexuals in Nigeria, Africa? Thesr are people that have not even travelled from the north to Lagos or east to Lagos. Homosexuality has existed in Nigeria before the white men came especially in northern Nigeria.

[/s] You thinking is very shallow and it lacks understanding.

bezimo:
I live in the West and I bet you don't want to raise your kids in western ways that encourage children to do what they want without discipline or consequence..that's why many of them grow up to be disaster nuisance to the society. Instilling African values of respect, value, modesty and discipline is a big challenge if you as an African man live in the West with your kids..theses factor are against you.
1. [s]You can't discipline your child the African way to address recalcitrant behaviour.. [/s]

Africans spanks children. It is wrong. The result is the negatives we are seeing today. Spanking too much (dont even spank) makes children develop resistance. Your children should not be forced to do what you want them to do. You are a guide for them, and not to control and manipulate them. This is why many african kids when they grow up in the western world always "put their moms in their places" so as to prevent interference with their marriages. But if such kids are in Nigeria, the mother assume the role of mother in-law like those witches in Nollywood manipulating the newly wedded children. Lol. It is wrong.

2. [s]The CfS or government regulatory body for child and family support would always never be on your slide if matters escalate relating to child discipline.. [/s]

Says who? After spanking a child with obvious evidence on the body and you want them to allow it slide? Children respond to what you teach them. It is a fact. No need of bullying them. Let me give you an example. In modern private elementary and high schools in Nigeria, spanking is prohibited. Mainwhile, stories of how teachers rip off ears, pluck out the eyes, even kill pupils is not uncommon in public schools. But then, which pupils tend to be calmer and responsible in the future? Of course, most in the public schools always develop resistance.

3. Those kids go to school and are faced with serious peer pressure to misalign..

What is going-on in Nigeria? ...hmmm. Kids here face exactly what the ones there face too. It can happen to anyone. If a child is facing such in the western world, the next step is to move the child to another school asap. And the case is solved. It is a general problem all over the world. The issue is that Nigerian parents in diaspora are to be blamed because they do not have time for their kids. They are always working trying to run the family. Mainwhile, the children are facing issues at school.

Do you think I will ever send my own child to a boarding school in Nigeria? God forbid. From what I have seen, most of the gays coming out now are initiated into the lifestyle in boarding schools. You should go check it very well. The seniors pupils always manipulate the junior ones. And soon, the act starts fulfilling their sexual desires. Do you know the number of gays in Nigeria who have refused to come out? Let Nigeria decriminalize homosexuality and you will understand what's up.

4. [s]If your wife don't share the same African culture values with you, you will have a hard time getting the kids to [b]straighten up[b]. [/s]

This is wrong. The question here is: what do you mean by straightening up a kid? The way your father "bamboozed" your back and as.s with can? Is this straighten up? The way you are forced to carry a heavy wooden stool for many hours to the extend of losing your balance and they still continued beating you with a stick making you go through the wickedness? The way they make you kneel down in the sun for many hours just because you were 5 minutes late to classes? Tell me, what is human in the above?

Your spouse is more straightened than you if the above is your mentality (pardon me, not insulting you). But I really do not want to think you agree with the above. I really think you are just saying it, but you still do not understand the deep meaning of what you have written. There is nothing wrong with the woman who is not an african or an african born in a different place with a different culture.

The only difference is the couples themselves. Do they know how to manage themselves? They are from different cultural background, the question is that can they be patient and tolerate each other? It has nothing to do with kids. The same way kids with Nigerian parents who are not in harmony and neglected their kids turn bad is the same way the ones with different culture turn bad too when they are neglected. It has nothing to do with the western world. It is basically the fault of the parents.

[s]The western ways of raising kids is not the best way..that's why you see most of those kids are nothing but morally disasters. [/s]

So, your own Nigerian way of raising kids is the best which turns many kids into yahoo runs and cyber crimes. Right? Say something else.

In my city last week 2 white teenage girls(13,15) attacked a woman when she alighted from a bus and robbed her and assaulted her badly..offcourse the police got involved..that's just one case among many we hear. Those 2 girls are an example of products of the terrible parenting model run by the West.
If the boys are not robbing liquor store, car jacking and fleeing, they are robbing people, attacking people, joing gangs or been such an idiot lowlifer.

And just last week many were kidnapped in the north. Teenagers are among the kidnappers. What about that? They are even called bandits now. Lol. And your government is paying them handsomely to release the kids. And they will not stop. Is it Nigeria that Ogun is not legalised, yet they carry AK47 threatening people is where you say is better. Lol. Oh! Just cos you live in Lagos or Abuja that is safe. Lol. They dont carry AK47 in the US bro...FIY.

My Advice to you
If you find a good woman who resides abroad, get hold of her. She may doubt you and even annoy you. She may call you names. She may do terrible things, but once you see she is a very good person, just be patient with her..Good girls always return to say hi from time to time. Gradually the trust will come. And after they have trusted you, forget it. They will NEVER leave you.

Be open minded. I wrote this cos you have lived with westerners according to you. You can train your kids anywhere in the world. Be ready to assit your wife. In fact, I do not think it bad if a man cooks for his family too. But African men are just eaters lol. ... Walk with your family in the park. You willl even enjoy snow walk, and carry your baby while your wife holds you. Treat your wife very well. One lesson I learned is not to reply a woman aggressively when she is nagging. It is hard for me, but I'm learning.

Just endure till she trusts you. That's all I can tell you.

Dont marry a lady because of greencard. If you impregnates her, the child will suffer. And it is wrong to marry a woman there while you have a wife at home. Trust me, she will scrutinize you seriously before she trusts you. Go into marriage with the idea of "For Better For Worse".

Eviana:


I appreciate you being balanced here.
I have not read any balance in the guy's posts....just bashing the U.S. and placing Nigeria on a pedestal it unfortunately does not deserve in that area....at least not anymore.
The Nigeria of today isn't the one of yesteryear. It's truly saddening. I can't tell a difference between the youth/young adults there and the ones here..
It all truly goes back to the parenting....before blaming anything else.

100% correct -- the bolded sentence.

People blow words out of proportion. You should be patient with Nigerians in this regard. You cannot easily convince them that parenting children with the American or British culture is good. Their brains have been tweaked to see it as one of the greatest mistake in life. And it is funny. It is the same with how the brains of Americans, Britishs, Canadians and other nationalities have been tweaked that everything in Nigeria is almost bad. That it is dangerous to come here or live here. Lol.

Funny that they do not want to raise their children there, but they want their children to enjoy free universities, and better life later. So, they give birth there, bring their children home, train them where they can spank and bully them, and they inject them back when they want to enter the university. Mainwhile, the children cant easily cope. Lol. Accent is not like the host. They start laughing at them. It is normal for anyone to laugh at ones accent. Lol. Even in Nigeria, we laugh at dialects that are not major ones. The majority will laugh at the minority. It's normal. So, why dont they leave their children to have the accent of the nation they eventually want to live? African parents think they are smart, but are stupid. I love the system many nations are adopting: place of birth is not automatic citizenship anymore. The child must stay in the nation for a number of years. Why? They want the child to learn the culture of the nation. It is normal. Africans are funny. They criticize the culture of another nation, yet, they are rushing there. Lol. Is something not wrong with them?

Just be patient with them. And non Nigerians too should learn from this and be open minded to the possibility that Nigeria may not be unsafe as they portray it.

ratiken:


Please can you in concise words define the mainstream Nigeria culture oflof today?

If you objectively answer this question, you will understand how bad things have deteriorated and I feel sad that Nigerians have refused to face the issue to address it.

I am not making a case for the western culture but the current mainstream value system entrenched in the sociocultural system in Nigeria is almost worse than the west. Because hypocrisy is entrenched, we can't speak out.

I grew up in a society where neighbours and relatives will reprimand me if I am naughty even before my parents return... but that communal living have since left Naija

I grew up in a Nigeria where 419 was a trade for old criminals whom the society frowned at. Today, high school students are into Internet fraud and so called yahoo boys are the big boys of the hood. The Nigerian society hypocritically celebrate them.

Growing up, cheating someone in business will have the society frowning at you. Today, its normal to cheat someone in business and be referred to as the sharp guy. The average Nigerian you engage in trade or business is out to cheat you if you lose your guard

Growing up, prostitution was in brothels and men who patronise prostitutes sneak in and out to avoid the societal label. Today, girls less than 15 have started plying their trade online. Runs is the real deal and you are slow if you aint part of the game. Even the society acknowledges that a lady need to sleep with politicians to buy a decent car or build a house. Sit back and imagine the impact of these on the psyche of the girl child.

Our political leadership are offshoots of our societal values. We now export fraud and prostitution.

Bandits, bokoharam, herdsmen murdering hundreds, raping and burning settlements are also Nigerians.... we should not ever forget that.

Infact, the Nigerians who make us proud were either not trained in Nigeria or were trained in Nigeria but plying their trade abroad (and their kids are not been trained here)

I can write multi pages on this. The value system of the supposed Nigerian system is badly eroded almost beyond redemption.

The only redeemable part of the Nigerian culture resides in the hands of parents who are determined to train their kid the right way and make the sacrifice to achieve such. And this can be achieved both in Nigeria, US or any part of the world.

Anyone who attempts to allow the Nigerian society train their kids like we grew up in the 70s or 80s will have a very terrible outcome

You're a realist!

The truth they refuse to hear.

Without any long grammar, as someone living abroad and watching Nigeria from the internet, all i see are criminals, homosexuals, prostitutes, degenerate alternative lifestyles.

Even worse these things are being posted online by the perpetrators themselves, another angle is the barrage of armies that defend them.

I also interact with Nigerians abroad, i found that Nigerians who were brought up in Nigeria and travelled out also displayed similar characteristics, albeit less amplified because of the restrictions in sane climes.

The most balanced Nigerians are those who were raised abroad by educated Nigerians with the old style African parenting.

Culture and environment working together to produce amazing outcomes.


In conclusion , yeah raising a child in Nigeria today means you're risking raising a child that would end up a criminal or prostitute.

There are no hard stats to back up what I wrote, just a literal observation after interacting with Nigerians in Nigeria online.

doxijaw:



You're a realist!

The truth they refuse to hear.

Without any long grammar, as someone living abroad and watching Nigeria from the internet, all i see are criminals, homosexuals, prostitutes, degenerate alternative lifestyles.

Even worse these things are being posted online by the perpetrators themselves, another angle is the barrage of armies that defend them.

I also interact with Nigerians abroad, i found that Nigerians who were brought up in Nigeria and travelled out also displayed similar characteristics, albeit less amplified because of the restrictions in sane climes.

The most balanced Nigerians are those who were raised abroad by educated Nigerians with the old style African parenting.

Culture and environment working together to produce amazing outcomes.


In conclusion , yeah raising a child in Nigeria today means you're risking raising a child that would end up a criminal or prostitute.

There are no hard stats to back up what I wrote, just a literal observation after interacting with Nigerians in Nigeria online.

Very Apt observation especially the bolded.

The current Nigerian mainstream society has no morals to offer. Only the family unit can raise well trained kids anywhere.

PeaceLovJoy:

Africans spanks children. It is wrong. The result is the negatives we are seeing today. Spanking too much (dont even spank) makes children develop resistance. Your children should not be forced to do what you want them to do. You are a guide for them, and not to control and manipulate them. This is why many african kids when they grow up in the western world always "put their moms in their places" so as to prevent interference with their marriages. But if such kids are in Nigeria, the mother assume the role of mother in-law like those witches in Nollywood manipulating the newly wedded children. Lol. It is wrong.


Says who? After spanking a child with obvious evidence on the body and you want them to allow it slide? Children respond to what you teach them. It is a fact. No need of bullying them. Let me give you an example. In modern private elementary and high schools in Nigeria, spanking is prohibited. Mainwhile, stories of how teachers rip off ears, pluck out the eyes, even kill pupils is not uncommon in public schools. But then, which pupils tend to be calmer and responsible in the future? Of course, most in the public schools always develop resistance.


What is going-on in Nigeria? ...hmmm. Kids here face exactly what the ones there face too. It can happen to anyone. If a child is facing such in the western world, the next step is to move the child to another school asap. And the case is solved. It is a general problem all over the world. The issue is that Nigerian parents in diaspora are to be blamed because they do not have time for their kids. They are always working trying to run the family. Mainwhile, the children are facing issues at school.

Do you think I will ever send my own child to a boarding school in Nigeria? God forbid. From what I have seen, most of the gays coming out now are initiated into the lifestyle in boarding schools. You should go check it very well. The seniors pupils always manipulate the junior ones. And soon, the act starts fulfilling their sexual desires. Do you know the number of gays in Nigeria who have refused to come out? Let Nigeria decriminalize homosexuality and you will understand what's up.


This is wrong. The question here is: what do you mean by straightening up a kid? The way your father "bamboozed" your back and as.s with can? Is this straighten up? The way you are forced to carry a heavy wooden stool for many hours to the extend of losing your balance and they still continued beating you with a stick making you go through the wickedness? The way they make you kneel down in the sun for many hours just because you were 5 minutes late to classes? Tell me, what is human in the above?

Your spouse is more straightened than you if the above is your mentality (pardon me, not insulting you). But I really do not want to think you agree with the above. I really think you are just saying it, but you still do not understand the deep meaning of what you have written. There is nothing wrong with the woman who is not an african or an african born in a different place with a different culture.

The only difference is the couples themselves. Do they know how to manage themselves? They are from different cultural background, the question is that can they be patient and tolerate each other? It has nothing to do with kids. The same way kids with Nigerian parents who are not in harmony and neglected their kids turn bad is the same way the ones with different culture turn bad too when they are neglected. It has nothing to do with the western world. It is basically the fault of the parents.


So, your own Nigerian way of raising kids is the best which turns many kids into yahoo runs and cyber crimes. Right? Say something else.



And just last week many were kidnapped in the north. Teenagers are among the kidnappers. What about that? They are even called bandits now. Lol. And your government is paying them handsomely to release the kids. And they will not stop. Is it Nigeria that Ogun is not legalised, yet they carry AK47 threatening people is where you say is better. Lol. Oh! Just cos you live in Lagos or Abuja that is safe. Lol. They dont carry AK47 in the US bro...FIY.

My Advice to you
If you find a good woman who resides abroad, get hold of her. She may doubt you and even annoy you. She may call you names. She may do terrible things, but once you see she is a very good person, just be patient with her..Good girls always return to say hi from time to time. Gradually the trust will come. And after they have trusted you, forget it. They will NEVER leave you.

Be open minded. I wrote this cos you have lived with westerners according to you. You can train your kids anywhere in the world. Be ready to assit your wife. In fact, I do not think it bad if a man cooks for his family too. But African men are just eaters lol. ... Walk with your family in the park. You willl even enjoy snow walk, and carry your baby while your wife holds you. Treat your wife very well. One lesson I learned is not to reply a woman aggressively when she is nagging. It is hard for me, but I'm learning.

Just endure till she trusts you. That's all I can tell you.

Dont marry a lady because of greencard. If you impregnates her, the child will suffer. And it is wrong to marry a woman there while you have a wife at home. Trust me, she will scrutinize you seriously before she trusts you. Go into marriage with the idea of "For Better For Worse".

I disagree with you 100% .Scriptures is clear on the criticality of siund discipline and training in forming the character and deztiny of a child. That is my perspective in raising kids.The scriptures said "a child left to himself to do what he/she like will bring his mother to shame"..even in the western world you would find white folks who believe children of today are spoilt and have lost it unlike the disciplined way they themselves were made to grow in the 80s and 90s.
So in summary your perspective/advice is null and void and hereby discarded in every respect.

ratiken:


I think you miss the point. As we speak, many Nigerian youths are robbing on highways, traffic, homes, store etc. The others are neck deep in yahoo scheming hard earners, our ladies are into prostitution, others into rituals. Many rapes and killings. Most of the bokoharam members, bandits and herdsmen are youths too (they are Nigerians... dont forget that). The average Nigerian you engage in business wants to defraud you. Look at the political class.... are they not raised with the African values?

Point is don't single out a single act in the west to compare to the terrible youth future in Nigeria.

I don't think folks understand how badly the culture in Nigeria has deteriorated. The chance that an average Nigerian youth will not resort to Yahoo and prostitution is less than 30%

So which Nigerian culture is even better than the west in the true sense?

I have witnessed both cultures Nigerian and Oyibo culture in substantial terms and I am saying our culture is far better when it comes to raising children and you are telling me B.S..How can you be in Nigeria..never ever travelled anywhere yet lecturing me with ignorance with flawed analogies..that the abroad that I have been in for almost a decade has a better system to raise kids in discipline and values than Nigerian system..Lmao..
That's one thing with Nigerians very confident in ignorance.

I wasn't really a fan of the Nigerian method of raising a child till I relocated to Europe.
Over the years I habe come to appreciate the values of our culture and method of raising a child.
There are many practices people indulge in and claim they are the Nigerian way of raising a child but that is wrong.
I am so appreciative of the values I learnt in Nigeria and my children benefit from it today in Europe.

bezimo:


I have witnessed both cultures Nigerian and Oyibo culture in substantial terms and I am saying our culture is far better when it comes to raising children and you are telling me B.S..How can you be in Nigeria..never ever travelled anywhere yet lecturing me with ignorance with flawed analogies..that the abroad that I have been in for almost a decade has a better system to raise kids in discipline and values than Nigerian system..Lmao..
That's one thing with Nigerians very confident in ignorance.

You have decided to side step the point and I can't help you. I am raising three young boys abroad with values imbibed in me by my parents and the results are obvious ... and I am not ready to argue with you if am abroad or not.

Key point remains that todays Nigerian society have no morals to offer any child and this has been the case since the late 90s. The responsibility of raising your kids with the right morals reside with you..... not the mainstream Nigerian society.

Why are you so ignorant?

I do not want to discourage you but I hope those kids don't kick you out in your old age.

Kontinu

ratiken:


You have decided to side step the point and I can't help you. I am raising three young boys abroad with values imbibed in me by my parents and the results are obvious ... and I am not ready to argue with you if am abroad or not.

Key point remains that todays Nigerian society have no morals to offer any child and this has been the case since the late 90s. The responsibility of raising your kids with the right morals reside with you..... not the mainstream Nigerian society.

Sheuns:

There’s nothing wrong with the way I was brought up.
There’s nothing primitive in teaching your kids values and moral.
Millions of us were brought up in “African way” and millions excel both here and overseas.
Even the akata and British love our culture. We are the ones that see ourselves as primitive.

I would surely bring my child up the African way, just that some things have to be dropped.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way our folks trained us. Nothing.

Except for the way the men treat their women like children amongst other things.

laiperi:
Why are you so ignorant?

I do not want to discourage you but I hope those kids don't kick you out in your old age.

Kontinu

Open your eyes and stop dwelling in ignorance. Train your kids adequately and you will have a good old age. Even in your village, an ill properly trained child is an ill in the society

And by your warped logic, every old person in the West have been thrown out of their homes.

Open up your mind and understand that social media and Internet have brought massive awareness to your kids in their closet whether in Junkun, plateau, Paris or Auburn. If you don't train your kids well, social media will do that even if the kids grow in your village.