November24:

Fool
You can advice without taunting.
Fool

Like your existence is of any worth to me. Smh

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

I swear . 25k out of 50k still complaining.nawoa

Kriss216:

So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

your head dey there bro

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

OP, you are very selfish and wicked!
You alone, you are spending 20k on yourself, and you want her to manage 25k for five of you?
Again, 10k for your mum alone.
Do you really love the lady?
I'm not against taking care of parents, but not at cost of your family.
Your immediate family comes first.

If you listen to wrong advice and allow that lady to leave, I can bet it you will regret it.
With 25k, that means, each of you (dad, mum and 3 kids) spends 5k/month, N166.67/day (if you only eat once), N83.33 if you twice and N55.56 if you eat thrice!

As you can see, the money is too small. The kids will definitely need other stuffs.
For now, I will advise you stop the 10k you are giving to you mum until your situation improves, also try and reduce your own 20k spending to 15k lesser.

May God send you timely help

Sit her down and explain your finance to her, your goals , your plan.
.Let her think of how she can help the family.
How she can contribution and how you can both make money as a family.

3 babies is a lot of expenses and she not knowing your full financial capabilities is why she is demanding more or saying you are stingy.

Build your home together
That's what marriage is
I know you were not ready but now that you are in it, you have to make yourself ready to raise this kids well and give them the best.

I just hope she is on family planning o, this one you are more interested in sex than any other thing. Pls don't bring more children to this world in this condition. Plan. Sit her down and plan together. Women are happier when involved in planning family and her happiness can change your finances. Most men don't know this.

Mindlog:


Am glad you mentioned older siblings which was a plus because they served as minders even if they were minors themselves so your mum could focus somewhere else and was running her hair dressing business before the twins but a first time mother with triplets which no extra hand (at least the OP didn't mention they have). I am imagining a woman breastfeeding triplets, cleaning them up regularly, cooing them individually to sleep will effectively run a business.

Im sure you read where i wrote older siblings that were also children. What is older in a 4 and 2 year olds combined with twins. Are we not talking about 4kids here?

Sometimes Some women just want to hang on to that as an excuse. There is a type of business for every situation so lets be reasonable here. Even if the guy makes 200k a month, it will still be a struggle to raise triplets with such a salary howbeit 55k.

The guy should think outside the box and see how he can establish the woman to make side money on her own.

Prospertochu:
[s]I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?[/s]

How much is Gold Circle Condom?

I am more worried about your wife.

Her own topic will be

'I regret marrying the father of my triplets"

And then she will go on to narrate what it looks like raising 3 babies all by oneself, no help, no family with a husband that nags and won't still provide enough money for children's upkeep or even provide food for the family but prefers to send money home and keep more to himself.


That girl go don dey think of sucide sef
I had post partum depression haggling one baby and hubby with no help. I can imagine what life feels like for her now


Pls save this woman.
Help her

erico2k2:

yes you are wrong cos he said he uses N20k not save N20k,, so the only money he has is N5k, that's though, we might say the man is not hustling hard but Dangote can say the same for most of us here

please go back and read what the op said, digest well. How can he save 20k from 55k while the family can barely feed

Mariangeles:


If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.

Money is the major problem here, the woman is a good woman

Bros leave dat regret stori,part of your anger b say,u still one knack on top triplet and madam no gree u.
Now to d koko.
I understand you are on 55k but my advice is to set her up in business. 25k no go work for 5 people.
The woman needs to be stable to run a business,triplet no b joke o,some of us went through the journey of twins and we no as e b.
My advice,if you can get 50-55k for this month end,hand it to her,she will calm down a little then as a man seat her down outside your home (maybe chicken republic,buy promo rice of 600 naira with two coke,let the atmosphere be calm and talk to her, plead with her that situation of the country is not easy but you have plans and you are working hard. then look for anywhere you can raise 10k for your mum and another 15k for yourself to take care of your going to work and other runnings.
Honestly the woman is stressed and the triplet are burning her out, hence you need ALOT of wisdom, calmness, strength and focus to scale through this early stage, it's a stage in marriage that even those with plenty cash often don't scale through, You need to talk less and action more. Fighting and all the drama won't change nothing for you. Also learn to ask for help,I don't me beg for money o,I mean ask for job or any side hustle even here on nairaland,alot of people here already know your situation and am sure someone might help

For a start U can private chat me, I am willing to give a little financial support for the 50-55k that I mentioned.

hmmm...
You have given her half of your salary bro , you try ooo.

Bros even if you are in rented house she will still ask for more like Oliver Twist.And it would have been worst with you.

She was never your wife just that pregnancy came between both of you.

I knw even as you give her 25k monthly you are still footing other things at home. So reduce the money back to 20k monthly as it was before because even if you transfer all the salary to her account she will still complain. Remember also the future of the kids too and be saving for them monthly.

IjeBos:


They do need to sit down and plan properly. But the OP isn't being realistic and he needs to be. He needs to appreciate that 25k is not enough for his wife to take care of the whole family for a month. And with that appreciation, he can be more understanding/patient of her frustrations. And that may make her less frustrated.

I agree with another poster, bring her into the process of how you distribute your salary. Consult her about what she thinks you should give your mom and whether or not it's the time to save. And honestly, I couldn't imagine my mom being ok taking 10k knowing I only make 55k and I have 3 kids.

@bolded, The OP and some posters dont want to understand this part.

In this present economy 25k is not sufficient to feed 3 infants or toddlers and 2 adults for a month that is just the basic truth except we want to deceive ourselves.

I have a toddler and the same tom brown( gunineacorn, maize, millet meal) peeps are saying is cheaper is part of her meals, I prepare it myself. Prices of grains doubled since lockdown and refuse to come down.

Presently what I make with 2,000 was what could be made for 1,000.

Let's say 1,500 worth of tombrown per child per month multiply that by 3 that's 4,500.

One of the cheapest baby milk is my boy and it ranges between 1,500-1,700 and a child will use at least 3Tins per month ( this is if you are managing it ooo) normally a child will take at least 1 tin per week or even more abi pikin no go drink milk. Multiply that by 3 that's about 4,500- 5000 for one child.

Just cereal plus milk(milk for one child oo) alone is taking almost 10k out of the 25k.

The child won't take the tom brown cereal alone, there will be fruits, other meals to compliment and we don't know the cost. The children have to eat well to be healthy



Remains 15k ( let's assume the 3 of them will take 1 tin of milk each per month which is impossible)

Out of the 15k

1. the money gulping part - diapers that stuff gulps money ehn multiply that 3.

2.Then food for the nursing mother and father one paint of garri is 800, beans is 400 derica, rice 350-400 derica, multiply what they will need for a month. Soup things, dried fish.

3. Other unexpected baby expenses

4. Groceries for the house, at least they will buy detergent to wash cloth .

5. Others


I honestly don't see the magic the wife can do it wont even be enough for basic stuffs.Things are too expensive.

People should plan before impregnating people, babies are expensive and the rising costs of things is not helping matter

nifemi25:
During your courtship, you should have known whom your wife to be is,, you would have noticed some nagging in her, just that you didn't focused on it....even do you gave your salary to her, am sure she won't still be satisfied...just pray God help you

The problem is money. If he had enough money, there will be peace

Brother there is nothing wrong with your wife rather your issue is your finance. No woman can run a home of 5 people with 25k and ve happy. Those triplets will use pampers of same 25k monthly not to talk about feeding and other expenses. You need to up your game. You don't even have reason to save because in the first place you need to carter for your present need else there might be no future. Consider your wife and triplets first then other family members will understand.

Your wife is a wife from helll. I hope you told her your salary is only 55k.

She should understand and try to manage the Salary. 25k for feeding for 3kids and 2,adults for a month is okay. Even if it is not a, compromise should be reached on how to tackle the shortage not to deny you sex and food.

If she wants to go, let her go. Nobody is indispensable.

Many state civil servants are receiving salary far below 55k a month yet they maintain a family of 5 or more. Just a solution on how to buy food stuff.


My advice, use your hand buy foodstuff in bulk. Like pentas of rice and beans, packet of knor, till of mivina, tomatoes, yams, red oil, veg oil, bag of semo or Gari, tea and milk, diapers, big tissue, dry fish and crayfish, etc.
Then give small money for her personal upkeep. Try this to know if it will work out.

Kestolove:
with triplet u still want to fvck and u only give 25k per month..some men are useless walahi

This cracked me up

Bert you harsh o!

Katier00:
please go back and read what the op said, digest well. How can he save 20k from 55k while the family can barely feed

it was a typo u van clearly see that lol

Toks2008:


My mum was nursing twins with older siblings that were still young and she was still doing her hairdressing business.

What sort of question are you asking? There are lots of business she can do. She can open a small business like small shop to sell provisions or food stuffs as well as other types of businesses even if she is still breastfeeding the children...

The guy is trying abeg.

Stop please. Stop.
Have triplets first, then you can join the line.

cococandy:
so you do have butterflies waking up at night to nurse and take care of your babies then? Is that what I’m understanding?

U SEE WHAT I MEAN??

On a serious note the money you give her is too small, it can't serve the family need for 2 weeks the way things are now in this country,baby food and pampers will finish that money within a week, on top of it you and your wife eat from the same money. My advise is this change ur formula give her 30,ur mom 10, you 15 once she knows you are giving her more than 60 percent of your salary, she will change her mind towards you. More over try to open a business for her you can't rely on that your salary for long, as the kids are growing their needs will increase. You need serious help my brother.

Righteousness2:
My Brother, what you are Facing right now are the Consequences we get when we decide to leave GOD'S way and go our way.
The Bible says ,
if thou will hearken.. you Expect this.
Likewise there are things we expect when we don't hearken.

Having Said that, you are Married right now so you are Husband and wife.
The Missing link I see in your Home is JESUS. You both need to Genuiely Surrender to JESUS.

You as the Head of the Home could be the link to bring JESUS into your Home.
Personally Surrender to JESUS, do away with all worldly stuff and let her see JESUS in you.

I Tell you she will have no other choice than to Join you and in no time you will see a whole new Home enjoying Peace from above.

You this hypocritical clown deceiving yourself and disgracing your ancestral lineage on a public forum

WHAT HAS GOD TOLD YOH ABOUT YOUR MASTER DONALD TRUMP?had God nkt showed u a vision about him or your vision capabilities has been hampered

Well you caused it yourself but then you still deserve peace of mind.. after na both of una commit the crime ..

If she one go Abeg let her go .. things are very hard already..

Since you earn 55k
I’ll pacify your to suspend the 10 k u do give your mom monthly .. and also u should forget about savings now. 5k monthly savings can’t take u anywhere as a family man .


So in total , 25+10+5 that’s 40k..

Hand over 40k to her every month and manage with 15k for yourself ( no matter the responsibility, u must always have little thing in your pocket Incase of unforeseen circumstances). That’s that



Now to be very honest with u, your whole salary , if given to your wife self cant be enough . I am a single guy and I spend atleast 150k monthly on foods and other things ( I’m still a boy though ).still expenses don Dey carry out all my money .food data and fuel.


Try to find another side husle join your work .. atleast if you’re making 200k in total and u manage am well , u should be able to stand small with that .




This is a lesson to everyone especially single guy out there , make we zip up if we can’t use condom ( I’m guilty of it too )





But let’s her see how much effort you’re making .. she can’t be shifting all the blames on u.. afterall na her pussy wey sweet make u fhuck am raw..




I feel bad for u bro..

But God go open way for u brotherly. No kill yourself with mental stress.. problem no Dey finish..





Your wife Dey try too. A primary school here starts with 3kids now dem don get reach 50..

3 go better o.. e no easy o..

But 55k ? That’s less down 150$ nitori oloun .. bro na problem u enter I no go lie .. if she leaves , na she go suffer am. U don try .

descarado:

Stop please. Stop.
Have triplets first, then you can join the line.

what is the difference between a triplet and a twin with two extra toddlers making 4?

Dont get me wrong, im not saying it is not tasking infact giving a case where the guy can fend for her and the kids i wont advise that she lifts a finger to do any other thing but as the case is, she just has to else the die will just die of High BP then she will understand that she is on her own.

obviously ur hiding ur salary from her but is she handicapped?she shuld bring something to the table too and u must hustle more!dont rely on salary alone!!

jidify:
Brother there is nothing wrong with your wife rather your issue is your finance. No woman can run a home of 5 people with 25k and ve happy. Those triplets will use pampers of same 25k monthly not to talk about feeding and other expenses. You need to up your game. You don't even have reason to save because in the first place you need to carter for your present need else there might be no future. Consider your wife and triplets first then other family members will understand.

Only diapers alone will gulp down the 25k. Baby food nkò?
Or their clothes. Woman is already a washing machine cos she will wash morning afternoon and night. When one is sleeping, another is crying, the other is pooing or want to be cuddled and some imp here are opening their filthy mouth to insult that lady. She obviously is having a mental breakdown. No help. She still has to cook for him and heaven help her if she didn't cook before he is back from work.
Meanwhile his mum is talking the bulk of his salary.
What a very wicked and selfish man.


His mum isnt even helping. But proudly collecting money meant for his wife and triplets.
If any of us happen to see that lady, I'm sure she look 5 years older and like a mad woman.

Having triplet or twin as first is not beans at all.

HRMK:
obviously ur hiding ur salary from her but is she handicapped?she shuld bring something to the table too and u must hustle more!dont rely on salary alone!!

Close your filthy mouth!

Only pampers bro that money is gone, funny thing is you are still eating from that cash, why give your mum, while you have so much of responsibility, look for a side online hustle to compliment your offline job, this country is not easy, u gave to 3kids once, me planning to give birth in a space of ten years

Toks2008:


what is the difference between a triplet and a twin with two extra toddlers making 4?

Dont get me wrong, im not saying it is not tasking infact giving a case where the guy can fend for her and the kids i wont advise that she lifts a finger to do any other thing but as the case is, she just has to else the die will just die of High BP then she will understand that she is on her own.

Hey guy, I have never qouted you since I joined this forum but I just did. Why, cos most times like this you want to appear logical and smart when you make no sense.
Give birth to triplets as your first, then come and let's discuss.
Withdraw and let people talk sense into that guy before he ruins himself and his family and live in regret for the rest of his life cos I tell you he will regret any action he takes against his wife in the future unless those triplets are all dead.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Brotherly, truth be told your wife is suffering. 25k monthly upkeep is too small in the present Nigeria. Your salary is not even enough to cater for only you let alone your mother and wife. May God help you get a better paying job.

NoToPile:


Simply because if she doesnt have an established business with a sales girl or a good job theres no point, she can't start anything now because of the triplets.

Those children are the main jobs, even if she looks for work, they have to pay for daycare which they can't afford.

Under normal circumstances one individual shouldn't be taking care of triplets alone, its the begining of mental breakdown now add insufficient funds to the mix, its not a very palatable one. Even those who get the money dey sweat.

She is a superwoman

Finally, I got somebody who understands what that lady is passing through

If there is money, that woman need 2 live in adult caregivers so she can have time to at least wash her hair.
I so much feel for her. From.carrying twins to giving birth.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Na so e dey be...... be strong ...

To be a gentle man,no be here oh........


Imagine 3 kids sucking her like,Boko boys ....

She must eat like a machine...


instead of everyday fighting.Call her and beg her first for all your mistakes about fighting and pains you have caused her.


Now move to : she is the most beautiful and all those stories.

Finally,make her realized that you guys have a better future if you can.. plan things better.

If na me...

I will give her, all the salary !

Oya take all and manage the house .....