mercyymai:
Come to look at it, the Nigeria we are now, everything is costly o. Apart from the fact that she should understand that your source of income is not more 55k and try to bear with u pending the time. She care for a triplet and so the cost for baby food in a month will be more than 5k, diapers for triplet too will be more than 5k too. So let's assume she spend 12k on the children alone for a month. Bros unless u dey buy foodstuff at home, 8k can not be enough for house upkeep.

I will advice, one the babu are of age, advice her to go look for Job at least her salary will help take care of her personal needs and some little things in the house.

You too Sir, u need to work hard more. Get a side business. 55k can never be enough for the family of 2 not to talk family of 5. Becos sending children to sch is now very expensive. Ur triplet will start sch very soon and I hope ur 55k can not send them to a good sch.

Lastly you need Jesus in your home. His presence in a home give peace.

if she looks for a job, eho will care for the triplets?

thymm50:


His cup of tea indeed. Your comment is inconsiderate, hope you are not like his wife

can never be
them no plan themselves well before children land

berrystunn:


It call Power must change hand

Bro is normal even if you give her 100k a week she will ask for more.
No good one out there, if you understand what I mean.
But your approach to issues matters alot
You have to brain wash your wife, I did same to my wife too, no issues till date no matter what you tell my wife today (negative) about me she will not believe you because of the level of brain wash.

Change your approach

Can u brainwash poverty to look like abundance?

Dickson178:
you're the cause of all this shit ,why did you pay her for the first time. what you should do is to sit her down and ask her what to do , okay,you can open a shop for her to sell ,or get her a job , there's no regrets of marrying her .

Open a shop for a young mother with 3 toddlers? Why don't you just buy her a keke/tricycle to move passengers from Ogba to Ikeja?

descarado:
Close that your gutter mouth.
Have never seen people as bitter as you guys. Bitterness will never allow you to move forward.

Go look for husband to marry. I'm not the cause of your insecurity

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.




What do you expect the OP to do? Join banditry? Or start stealing?

A sensible woman should have a job or a business before getting married so as to help her family. What are her contributions to the family aside nagging and quarrelling with the husband daily?

Only the pussy is her contribution plus let's say she takes care of the kids....
This is a lesson to young men out there... don't marry a woman whose jobless or have no potential..
Na toto sweet OP to his present predicament oo

frozen70:


Don't let her madness lead you to early grave

Leave her to do her worst it's either she goes with the children or leave the children behind and go

You can't still to please her, never you can not

I pray she leaves the children and go, just move them to your mum

How does she want you to cope with that little salary yet contributes nothing

This time around be prepared for the worst, let the animal in you come out

She just want to make life unbearable for you

if she abandons the children for him, will you go to his house to help take care of them if he decides to toast you?

Ndi ara!!

ghettochild:

Only the pussy is her contribution plus let's say she takes care of the kids....
This is a lesson to young men out there... don't marry a woman whose jobless or have no potential..
Na toto sweet OP to his present predicament oo

She has a full time job.

Acidosis:


Open a shop for a young mother with 3 toddlers? Why don't you just buy her a keke/tricycle to move passengers from Ogba to Ikeja?

The thing shock me too!

descarado:

Close your filthy mouth!

one of the lazy youths buhari was talking abt!obviously the way u talk to ur grandpa!!

setobaba:
You are earning 55k and you got married lol and now with three kids. How do you plan to grow in life. With the economy bro the lord is your strength.

Bros you can't blame him, the ish here is that it wasn't planned from the kids down to the marriage. Stuffs like this put us in the rat race.

He can still escape out but he will be extra disciplined plus he needs to build a mental fortitude to prevent his wife complains and nagging from getting to you.

Oga mi, poverty is bad oooo, make God help us, stories like this they make wife cheat sef as she no get work too.

Even the woman eye go see for family house.

My husband i love you, nah money they talk oo.

I'll like to create a forum of high value men where we can discuss issues surrounding our finances, growth and mental health.

We go through alot and internalize the pain..


We are better together.

Meself:
While do u call her stupid. It is the guy that is stupid for not putting his preek in check . Abeg no try dey this guy's shoes . Do u know what she is going thru? baby wan chop no money for milk pls so.

quote author=jaxxy post=99920726]

U are a good a responsibile man. U took responsibility for ur kids and even married the stupid gal u call wife. The problem with most gals is they are very poor managers. Ur husband gives u his money and u can’t put it to good use, even if u notice it’s not enough u know he’s doing his best u should look for away to find solutions to ur family/hubbys financial issues bt instead she nags and complains and even threatens to live u with the kids. Is this not a stupid woman? A highly irresponsible gal turn wife??

Look bad company corrupts good manners, if u move with fools u will soon become a fool. Disassociate urself from that nonentity. Give her responsibilities to do. Set up a business if possible for her and monitor it because I know she’s useless. Atleast right now

Don’t give up hope yet. God will help u make right decisions regarding ur family. Cheers.

she's praising his mediocrity.

Nonsense!!

madridguy:
Brother, no point regretting marrying your wife. The only problem is a simple fact, 55K is small for a family of 5 in this present Nigeria.

I would suggest you continue to pacify your wife because raising 3 kids is not a small a task.

May God expand your income.

You've said it all, 55k can not take care of a family of 5 in present day Nigeria. My question how old are the kids, is there anyone that can help look after the kids for 4hours a day so your wife can learn a skill, if she doesn't have any?

We rise by lifting others

DrFunmisticGlow:
To triplets?

Oga Toks, be realistic.

As if im writing out of the blues.

My mum had twins in 1983 and she was still nursing a child barely 2years with another barely 4years making 4 troublesome babies yet she was still running her hairdressing business on a solo without any apprentice at that time.

I think i may have to stop responding to mentions on this matter again. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. Nobody prays for such a situation where a nursing mum of one will be expected to do any business simultaneously but as i wrote, maybe if that guy slums and dies of BP she will be forced to start something .

I rest my case.

You give her 20k for the whole family and only you use 20k..haba..

Pls try and add the money,with good manner of approach,talk to your wife,she will understand..while you guys look for something for her to do,you can also look for an alternative source of income..

You're going through financial tension,it's not that your wife is bad..God will see you through..

Prospertochu:


My mother is living in church because her sister send her packing and she have nowhere else to go. She need that 10k I can't reduce it for now and she is not allow to come and stay in my father family house because my uncles and aunties will not allow her.

Bring your mum to live with you and wifey in your one room!
Act like a man for heaven's sake!

Infact, your mum would have seen this as an opportunity and before you know it, she is in your house acting as Nanny.
I have an 83 year old granny that still go to all her kids houses to prepare soups for them. This is what keeps her pushing and want to live. Family is stinkly rich, she is rich in foreign currencies yet at her level when she ought to be worshiped and served, she is serving.

U and your mum are wicked!
Very terrible family

You dont have money to take care of a child yet you were having sex without protection.

Avoid fornication, it will save you a lot of stress and heartbreaks.

HRMK:
one of the lazy youths buhari was talking abt!obviously the way u talk to ur grandpa!!

Go and learn handiwork.
They will soon catch you

vhuqnl:

Go look for husband to marry. I'm not the cause of your insecurity

Will you marry me then?

descarado:

Will you marry me then?

No. Cnt break my mum's heart

EndRape2:
My brother your wife should be the one regretting marrying you, 25, thousand to feed 5family, with expenses, like buying fuel, biscult for children and other things? Minus expenses let us say you are giving her like 15k for food, for family of five, and you have the guts to come on nairaland to seek advice, you are mean and wicked, go and look for another job, or get extra side hustle, also let your wife, look for somthibg doing, the entire 55k is not enough for family of 5, you still have the guts to say, you are saving out of it, and also giving your mum from it, are you normal like this, if I am your wife I will leave the money for you, I will not touch it, or ask you, I will allow you go to market your self with the money and use it to cook so you will know it is not enough for a week, hope you are using protection inorder not bring in another child into that malnourished home,
which kind dirty sex are you talking about, with children on ground that you can not feed your are very meant for saying you regreat marrying that woman that is suffering in your hands. Your are ranting your mother inlaw force you to marry, did she force you to have sex without condone will you allow an idiot impregnant your daughter and keep her at home, the mother inlaw did the right thing an average Mother will do, you better tell your wife to so family planning or you use condone, two of you should go look for money, and stop suffering those children, 55, thousand is not enough to take care of one child ,talkless of five family .


U are supposed to give her 50k then send 5k to your mum, and look for other hustle to give you money for personal use and savings.


And must you send money to your mum, for now, why not force your daddy to take care of his responsibilities why you take care of yours


Honestly you are wicked and suffering the woman and children with you.


Nonsense coming here to seek for advice that will finish you.

if the man doesn't step up, there's a 50- 70% chance he may lose one or more of those kids to the cruel hands of death. They may not make it to their 5th birthday

One child will become sick, refuse to eat and just waste away until they seek hospital admission that they clearly cannot afford.

I'm tired of seeing cases like Op.

Maybe he and his wife should consider giving out his children for adoption to childless couples who can afford them

Toks2008:


As if im writing out of the blues.

My mum had twins in 1983 and she was still nursing a child barely 2years with another barely 4years making 4 troublesome babies yet she was still running her hairdressing business on a solo without any apprentice at that time.

I think i may have to stop responding to mentions on this matter again. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. Nobody prays for such a situation where a nursing mum of one will be expected to do any business simultaneously but as i wrote, maybe if that guy slums and dies of BP she will be forced to start something .

I rest my case.

that's 1983, not 2021.

Be pragmatic man!!

You are not your mother so shut the fvck up. That's how mothers are deceiving and perpetuating generational sob stories to lure unsuspecting young girls to tow the same sorry path. They will not tell you how many siblings, in-laws and drop-by relatives that lived with them, even mothers that lived in family houses with enough relatives will still come and tell the pathetic stories of how they suffered with child care. Men always[b] TENDS TO KNOW HOW WOMEN SJOULD BEHAVE ISTEAD OF ADVISING THEIR FELLOW MEN[/b]
Bullcrap Bill Turner

Toks2008:


As if im writing out of the blues.

My mum had twins in 1983 and she was still nursing a child barely 2years with another barely 4years making 4 troublesome babies yet she was still running her hairdressing business on a solo without any apprentice at that time.

I think i may have to stop responding to mentions on this matter again. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. Nobody prays for such a situation where a nursing mum of one will be expected to do any business simultaneously but as i wrote, maybe if that guy slums and dies of BP she will be forced to start something .

I rest my case.

DrFunmisticGlow:
It is actually not their responsibility to help him.

Lol. Who asked them to help him? Read again. Slowly.

They should help their daughter.

veave:


This one you're saying we already know. What we are talking about now is the way forward. The woman cannot work now because she needs to take care of 3 toddlers. This is the cheapest labour they can get right now because dayca would cost much and bringing in another person to look after the children is an extra mouth to feed. That is why I suggested that the man should look for ways to increase his earnings. The deed has already been done na remedy we dey find now

You are on point, what klass99 don't understand is that in life problem varies and every stage we find ourselves there is a relative problem.
@klass99 even if you follow all the "don't doctrines" religiously it doesnt guarantee a perfect life nothing does, problem no dey finish.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

If all you narrated here is true, you are a good man ,let her do her worst, she is not cultured, what is she bringing to the table,none
Let her leave, you get someone to help you look after the kids, double your huzzle too, those children will sure be a blessing to you.
The only blame I have for you is that you dated a nonentity

Acidosis:



The thing shock me..!

I was unnerved!
I came from a lineage of twins, uncountable in my family. My best childhood friend is a triplet. I am twin. Sit down with mummies and hear the real jist.
My girlfriend's mum almost ran mad. That lady never recovered. My mum was lucky cos my dad and family members helped especially my dad.
Look at FFK former wife. She is highly depressed.
Triplets no be beans at all.
A friend, a nurse in one of the most prestigious private hospital in Abuja got triplets through ivf.
She has to quit her job. Invite her mum over to help. She is a complete shadow of herself.

You will pull through if you have supportive family and husband, but if its only u like this lady, you will end up emotionally and physically wrecked. Sometimes you will just burst out crying.

Elliot2:
Stop making it look like only a man needs to sort himself before getting entangled with the opposite sex. How about women sorting themselves out before getting entangled? If the said wife did, then she wouldn't be stressing the poor man's life. Since she wasn't raped and got pregnant with those kids out of her own selfishness, she should equally bear the brunt of raising them. HTTP v

Boss, from the beginning I said "look before you leap"
It means a man who's going to make a choice should look for a woman who's also putting herself together before a man comes!
Had he looked and seen that the lady was idling away he would have either straightened her or left her, but lust overshadowed his sense of reasoning.
The measure of a happy future home depends on both parties pulling resources together.....
I agree with you that it's not exclusively a man's job....ladies SHOULD also be in the state of preparedness.... unfortunately majority are "hands folded, waiting for the man...."

descarado:

Thank u!
Very selfish like his son.
And she will be the first to complain that the wife is disrespectful.

The mum that should bring all she has to the table.
Dribble whoever to help put food on the table and come to help the poor lady. How on earth do they want that lady to act normal?

Triplets and twins are only good when they take pictures smiling but we will never see what the mum pass through bringing them up especially with a man like this @op.

I keep praying and telling God, I don't want twins, triplets or anything more than one baby at a time.

It's one baby at a time.

DrFunmisticGlow:
she's praising his mediocrity.

Nonsense!!

Not praising his mediocrity bt haven’t seen husbands that take off and abandon their family when their wives give birth to triplets? This guy married a stupid gal with no job or ambition who gave birth to triplets. He must be a saint. Has he even done a DNA cos I don’t trust that gal 1 bit.

angelusbrut:


If all you narrated here is true, you are a good man ,let her do her worst, she is not cultured, what is she bringing to the table,none
Let her leave, you get someone to help you look after the kids, double your huzzle too, those children will sure be a blessing to you.
The only blame I have for you is that you dated a nonentity

Close your mouth.
People like you are reasons families break and Nigeria is where it is today.
Selfish lots.