damiloladuke:
one mistake many of us made and it is sounding like a curse now

GloryGlory01:


You called this "crap". Please my friend, how much money do you think can satisfy a woman. You are a learner.

na2016:


You need money in marriage. In fact the more you stay with a lady, that thing called love, dies completely. It is actually the friendship that you have built with her and being able to provide for the home (money) that sustains the marriage.

safarigirl:


And what is wrong with having kids at 70, if that is when you are ready?

The best thing for kids is quality time with their parents, a lot of poor people don't get that with their children because they are working their asses off for chicken change, and come home too tired to bond with their kids. The same kids most of them will still send out to hawk items to help the family.

The same kids that are exposed to all sorts of paedophiles and predators because they have to live in shanties, and hawk in dangerous areas, kids that may never have a decent childhood because of poverty. You think if you marry at 22, and eventually make money at 48, it will make up for that missed childhood?

Only selfish people give birth when they cannot afford kids, because these selfish people have a selfish agenda that involves the kids growing up fast, so, they can foist

bigpicture001:


One is not aiming to satisfy any wife..its income to run the home more effectively....

Women turn love to hate if their isn't comfort in the home

wirinet:


Believe me money had never sustained any marriage. It's love, companionship and understanding that have sustained most marriages I know.

Running and providing for a home in modern societies does not lie with one partner only. If you legitimately make your money and not engaged in fraud or corruption, you will know that you need both partners contributing to sustaining the home. I know how much I spend on school fees, bills, medicals, groceries and others every month, and it's still not enough.
And my children are not in university yet. This is why I make sure my wife started a business, so she can also start contributing to the sustaining of the home. My aged mother is with me and I know how much her upkeep and medicals cost me.

I am always afraid of what happens to my family if I become incapacitated, have a financial disaster or even die. What will happen to the wellbeing of my children and my wife.

wirinet:


This is only the mindset of some poverty stricken blacks. Go to the Niger Delta and see numerous examples of women hustling for her family. Go to Warri, Sapele, Asaba, Benin and see women go to market, farms, etc. Most raise their children single handedly without doing olosho.

It's in the West here I see women feel they can sit at home all day and watch zee world or telemundo and have their husbands work himself to death, so they can buy the latest bags, shoes and phones.

na2016:


Brother, believe me, your last paragraph says it all. Take away that money for 6 months and I will tell you that your wife may start behaving somehow.
I don't know how long you have been married as that may have contributed to form your opinion but I am talking a point of experience and what I have seen happen to others.

showafrica:


I tell you, but 50k na just 100$... Imagine what Nigeria has done to our brain that we gladly accept 100$ per month job and still go do thanks giving on top. Very sad indeed.

Eddodoh:
It baffles me when I hear some people talk about marriage as if it's an award or some kind of achievement.

In my area, once u haven't gotten any child outside wedlock or officially married, they see u as an irresponsible person or that something is wrong with u. And, I begin to wonder what kind of mentality is that.

bigpicture001:


See this one oo...I stayed in the Niger delta for over ten years straight..all my friends have just their moms taking care of their needs..almost all homes are broken..is that one a good example..?

Men and wives living apart everywhere. E go shock you when e go happen,they there that wait for ladies to understand. They will dump ur ass if things go south even in marriage

wirinet:


For three years, I was jobless, penniless and had a new born son. My wife did not start behaving anyhow. She borrowed 100k from her brother and went to Cutonou to be bringing in bedsheets to be selling to friends and family. That sustained us for one year until I was able to get some construction contracts once again. I eternally remain greatful to her and never refuse any financial requests she makes.

wirinet:


Are you serious? A woman is not expected to contribute a penny in marriage? And you got 261 likes. I now see that Nigeria is in deep shit with this stupid mindset. You mean to tell me that you expect over half the Nigerian population of women to rely only on the men to be productiv?

So what do you think women can offer to men in marriage? Only sex and child bearing? In that case why waste money educating and training female children, when they will only end up in the bedroom and kitchen.
I teach my daughter to be independent and not rely on anyone. That's the way we raise our daughters in the Niger Delta.

na2016:


Good, thank God for her then. This is quite rare nowadays. I have seen a man lost a job and the wife left him. So be grateful and treat her well.

wirinet:


If that is your mind set, then I am sorry to say that you started your marriage on a wrong premise. Financial stability does not depend on the amount of money you have at the moment. It can change like the British weather.

Throughout your life you will pass through the highs and lows of financial stability. When I got married, I was living in a 3 bedroom flat in surulere and driving an almost brand new BMW 5 series. 3 years into marriage, I had some series of bad deals and all my financial security went south. I left surulere and moved to a much cheaper 3 bedroom flat in Ikorodu. Did my wive's love turn to resentment or the bleeped my landlord? No. She contributed in helping the family. By the time our first child came, she was the one doing business and I was taking care of our son.

In less than 5 years I was able to pick up again and things has been on an upward trajectory since.
Imagine how things would have turn out if I married the type of woman you are used to.

As I said, financial stability does not depend on the amount of cash you have at the moment. When Elon Musk was starting out, he slept at his office, showered at YMCA and lived (eat) on $1 a day. His girlfriend lived with him in his office. Today, he is the richest man in the world.

choicesam:
My guy marriage is sweet when you are with the right companion, be it rich or poor it doesn't matter as far as both of you are willing to take the journey together, and yes this is coming from a happily married man.

Cocao:
Most people don't even realize that this article was talking about the relationship of people in a Western country. It is not so much applicable to the Nigerian clime. The points are well written and thoughtful, but may not fit the Nigerian narrative.

wirinet:


Then the marriage was never build on love but on lure.
I married by wife based on the commitment and love she showed right from beginning. She has her faults but materialism is not one of them. I believe materialism beclouds relationships and friendships. When I became broke all my friends and family ran away. I was alone with only my wife and my mother who was in the UK then. Today, I have no friends. I go to my office and just come home to my family.

gbami:

I don't know if you saw the word " expect " . She can decide to help or not. People won't blink an eye if she doesn't.

Tannhauser:


The first sensible comment here...don't know why these young pups think money makes a good marriage. Although I was quite comfortable prior to getting married, the kind of money I made after marriage eenh? Just 8 months after my wife moved in with me, I looked at my account balances and I was like Wish I had married earlier
Just pray for good wife who will bring you good fortune and stabilise your finances.
Stop patronising olosho una no go hear...

LINTUNE:
oga keep quiet, stop misleading people..at least u were comfortable before marriage, a young man that earns 150k monthly, with the help of a supportive woman, can venture into marriage, hoping to grow with his woman, I have no doubt about that..but let's be frank, how man of our youths in their 20s, earn even that meagre income (150k)...so how do.u expect a young man earning 50/60k monthly to marry, let alone a guy earning below 40k...just think na

James4358:
Marry when u r financialy stable. Trust me- that's d best time to marry. Maturiry also comes to play too, but that is secondary to a stable income.

GloryGlory01:

The problem I have with your mindset is that you allow life to pass you by and then you put the blame on other people.

You’ll have an easier time having kids, increase their chances of being healthy, and be better able to keep up with them.
While modern advances have allowed folks to postpone having children, the reality is that both men and women have a biological clock and having kids gets harder and riskier the longer you wait. The research shows that children of older fathers have increased risks for several physical and mental disorders compared to children of younger fathers.

Electrochemistry:
Everybody has their best time There is no fixed age that people must tie the knot.