Nice answer

bukatyne:


1. Your husband is employing out parents' method of comparison to our 'role models'. Your Pastor's wife is 'ideally' a role model for women in the church.

2. As a wife, you are to please your husband; part of which is to aspire to be appealing to him.

3. Your husband complaining about your body does not negate his love for you (if you were sure of it prior to now)

Now we have cleared the above;

Work on your weight, skin and dress sense.

You testified that there is money so employ these fitfam people to prepare meals for you (if you can't do it yourself) and incorporate exercises. If you have tried to lose weight without success in the past, you can employ a dietitian (who is different from a fitfam p,rofessional)

While you work on being the best version of yourself, tell him you do not appreciate been compared to your Pastor's wife.

You are not going to be another Mrs. Pastor, you will be the best, sexiest version of yourself.

Feddytune:
Sorry men can be insensitive, but I think he loves you and only wants you to look hotter .. why not stop crying and set up a time table for exercises to keep fit

Everyone's body can't be the same, beauty can't last forever. If a man solely marries because of beauty, those would fade and he would have plenty reasons to cheat. You married a chubby woman, and you're expecting her to be slim fitted after child birth, that's insensitive on the part of man. The woman shouldn't over work herself trying to change her body build, she should just keep fit. The man lost it the day she compared his wife with another woman, it demoralizes the woman esp if she is still much interested in the marriage. In the African setting, and for peace sake, let her do as her husband want, but the man went about it the wrong way.

Zzor is one of the most insensitive female nairalander ever known. her comments reeks of Grand delusion and imaginary hullabaloo. I wish she can be banned for 500years

I laughed reading... We are living a good life... Does that mean you should overeat and not exercise? Or not eat healthy foods or smaller portions?

There is no way of telling someone to lose weight without upsetting that person; in a small way or big way.

The comparison would have come after many other hints and words have been said... So, it is fine for a woman to want the husband to do better in life or those church types to want to be as rich as their pastors or daddy in the lord?

lefulefu:
na ZIINIBANKS like orobo oo not me I just like ladies with back not orobo

okokobioko

AsherAmari:



He could put it in a milder way to avoid sounding offensive.
How about telling her Her BMI is more than her height therefore could pose a risk to her health and cause illnesses like arthritis, hypertension from clogged arteries and so on... Must there be a comparison?

It's very key to chose your words when adressing people to avoid sending the wrong message. Though here, it's very glaring the man wasn't about her health.

Are you a medical personnel? You seem grounded in health. Your depositions too loaded.

Rhodaogunpeju:
Why are our Nigerian Men so insensitive.

I'm naturally a chubby lady with curves and I remember vividy how my husband used to praise my physique and say I'm his spec. According to him skinny girls are not his type.

We got married and I have given birth to two kids and I added weight a little, plus we were living comfortably so the good life was evident in my life and body.

The church we normally attend, the pastor's wife has 5 kids already and she's much older than me but she still looks moderate enough with little or zero stomach fat.

My husband seeing this woman has constantly been telling me to try and work on myself, this man literally wants me to be skinny, when we married I wasn't skinny, the blow was when he compared me to my Pastor's wife, saying I have just 2 kids and I added weight while our Pastor's wife has 5 and she's looking like she never gave birth.. I cried and I have been crying since..


It hurts so much .. It makes me wonder if this man still loves me?

Tell your husband you like men with 8 packs.

Zzor:
Also tell him to work on his pot belly and penis and that his penis has shrinked over time,tell him also that the pastor is still fit and his organ still very strong after five kids,just cause fight and after the fight he will learn to appreciate you.

THEY WAY U VOWED TO BE SPOILING WOMENS MARRIAGE NO BE HERE. U MUST BE A BAD FRIEND TO UR FRIENDS. MUST SHE START HER OWN FIGHT NOW THAT THE MAN IS HAVING ISSUES WITH HER ? DID THEY MAN TELL HER THAT SHE SHOULD GET SKINNY ? PEOPLE LIKE U ARE THE TYPE THAT LIVE IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE , AND STILL GAT THE GOTS NO STAY on.

Zzor:
Also tell him to work on his pot belly and penis and that his penis has shrinked over time,tell him also that the pastor is still fit and his organ still very strong after five kids,just cause fight and after the fight he will learn to appreciate you.

THE MAN IS WRONG 100% FOR COMPARING BT THIS UR ADVISE IS DESTRUCTIVE

lilvicky68:
If you can..try shedding some weight..but that's a bad attitude from him comparing you with another woman.. different women pass through different things during child birth..

That man no try at all. Why nt tel her what u want and nt compare

adontcare:
abi o

If ur man try that shi, make sure u do exactly as ur supportd

lefulefu:
u have point though .if a husband is adding excess weight then he has no right to be complaining about his wife's weight.he should set an example for her to follow by also losing weight then his wife follow his lead.a husband is supposed to lead and the wife would follow but if unfortunately a number of men these days are now nagging like women and doing nothing to encourage their wives

Now you're talking!

But the body consciousness should go both ways. It's in their best interests to both be healthy. The man could've gone about it in a much better way, rather than comparisons on two different people with different lifestyles. The pastor's wife has access to their tithes and help from all members, and you know what wonders can be worked with some $$$.

HopeVictor:

Seriously I don't like when men start body shaming or comparing their wife with another woman especially after giving birth..the funny thing is that the woman was chubby when he married her self..I don't know why he's complaining..

Has your wife given birth? You're sounding like you have gray hairs today.

Zzor:
will you keep quiet, was the man trying to keep his home by disrespecting his wife like that? Are you one of the men I exchanged because I've lost count.rubbish

YEN YEN YEN. MARRY 1ST, THEN U CAN CUM BACK TO TELL US HOW U CHALLENGE UR BOY/HUSBAND TOE TO TOE

Jeon:


your man is evil for comparing you to another woman, we humans ain't same in any aspect.
and warning ⚠ since he said those negative words about you he may likely cheat on you.




LOVE AND MAINTAIN YOUR BODY BUT DON'T DO IT TO IMPRESS ANY BEING WITH TWO LEGS

MAKE SURE U NEVER EVER DO THINGS TO IMPRESS UR MAN ; RIGHT ? THE THING WRONG THERE IS THE COMPARING, BUT THE FACT THAT SOMEONE ASK U TO AMEND SOMETHINGS IS SUPER RIGHT. DNT DO THINGS TO IMPRESS UR DAD ALSO BECUS HE GAT TWO LEGS.

haywire07:
That man is evil. How can he keep comparing you to your pastor's wife when he can just go out there and cheat without getting caught?

The irony...

Jeon:


I don't blame the husband I blame her for finding her in this shithole country, and also settling down with the average Nigerian useless man that only love a woman because of her body.

OUTSIDE BODY, WAITING WOMEN GET ?IN NO CONTINENT WOMEN DO A SHIT , U HEAR ? MEN DO ALL , AND STILL CALM DOWN TO ACCOMODATE WOMEN. 4GET ABT BRAIN BECUS WOMEN NO GET BRAIN.

ModestGal:
Hmmn, see comments
This is only typical in an African setting, I could post same in an international group, and you will see how comments would be different. Body shaming is normal in these people's village

Sometimes I wonder if its illiteracy that Nairalanders male suffer from, or just pure hatred for women including their mothers and sisters.
According to commentators here, its the woman's fault to have gained weight after giving birth to the children they both have, and the best way the husband can use to inform her is by abusing her(emotional abuse), comparing her with their pastors wife who has given birth to 5children.

One idiot even said protein causes diabetes and thus the husband is helping her by emotionally abusing her.
In reality, I do not speak with an average Nigerian, some call it pride, I don't have time to waste with a dumb irrational wanna be dumb person

Op I would help you with tips to reduce your weight in a sustainable way, and I hope you serve him Emotional abuse by comparing everything bad about him in a very playful manner and laugh about it. By then, he would realise he's not perfect as well
Even if you mistakenly compare me as a friend, that would be the last time you will hear from me, and if that happens to be my husband, I will punish him for a year after he apologizez if he doesn't, that would be the end of the marriage. Nothing would make me cry over a body shaming wicked man. But I can only do that because I'm self sustained, and I'm a rich lady on my own, an introvert and a genius in the making. And that's why we preach women empowerment, don't copy me if you are a LEECH, a PARASITE, and you can't BREATH without a MAN, you can't buy CAR without a man, you can't eat without a MAN. Ladies should learn to be independent, that way, you will be respected

Respect from me!

Jeon:


I'm a man.
here is a similar story[ opposite of chubby]

can you imagine a man open his mouth to utter this statement to his wife[mother of his two kids ]" with the way you look like to collect cup drink water from you go dy irritate person".why did he made such comment? because she is slim.

Madam shut up. U are a woman hiding in males moniker

BRATISLAVA:

Has your wife given birth? You're sounding like you have gray hairs today.

Lol..no be small grey hair

BlueSparks:
Believe a whining married woman at your peril



She's merely seeking comfort in hating her husband and wants validation.

I double dare the OP to post pictures let's see the little body and validate her whinings.

Don't fall for it, the OP is grossly overweight brought about by too much food and laziness


Meanwhile, have you checked my threads?

Check my threads

Why do you keep requesting her to post her pics?

She never said she wasn’t overweight or that she couldn’t use some exercise. Post your pics instead so we can all tell you what parts of your body you need to work on.

How strange is it asking a man’s wife for her to post pics of herself....

Some people are so careless in speech

Lol

Yusufisraelj:


Are you a medical personnel? You seem grounded in health. Your depositions too loaded.

Nope. Though I do research on these things and many more health issues and topics a lot.

Thanks.

Yusufisraelj:


Are you a medical personnel? You seem grounded in health. Your depositions too loaded.

Nope. I'm not. Though I do research on health issues and topics a lot.

Thanks.

AsherAmari:


Nope. I'm not. Though I do research on health issues and topics a lot.

Thanks.

Ooo I see. One difficult thing for me is understanding these health terminologies and stuff, you plan on doing something along the lines of health like business or shaping policy like Bill and Melinda Gates foundation?

BRATISLAVA:


Now you're talking!

But the body consciousness should go both ways. It's in their best interests to both be healthy. The man could've gone about it in a much better way, rather than comparisons on two different people with different lifestyles. The pastor's wife has access to their tithes and help from all members, and you know what wonders can be worked with some $$$.

well its like that in naija
u might see a very overweight man with his belly all hanging out bashing his wife and telling her to exercise and reduce her weight while himself does not maintain his own .it happens like that sometimes .but yea doing comparison is immature though.I wonder how a guy would feel if his wife told him to his face that her ex was much better looking than him and better in stud in bed..such would make a guy go crazy

Yusufisraelj:



Ooo I see. One difficult thing for me is understanding these health terminologies and stuff, you plan on doing something along the lines of health like business or shaping policy like Bill and Melinda Gates foundation?

Well.. maybe not in the line of any of those you mentioned but I'm already into Alternative to therapy kind of health biz. Aphrodisiac and general wellness. As a side biz though. My Major is Skincare Therapy.

..

..

AsherAmari:


Well.. maybe not in the line of any of those you mentioned but I'm already into Alternative to therapy kind of health biz. Aphrodisiac and general wellness. As a side biz though. My Major is Skincare Therapy.

Wow, awesome

AsherAmari:


Well.. maybe not in the line of any of those you mentioned but I'm already into Alternative to therapy kind of health biz. Aphrodisiac and general wellness. As a side biz though. My Major is Skincare Therapy and cosmetic formulations.

But does this market sell? Like profitable?

Sincerely I admire people in this space, I wonder how you people sell, me no day even use Vaseline Wella, I can use #250 Vaseline for 1 year and half