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How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Sanctecosma(m): 5:50pm On Apr 30, 2021
Ah ah! Oga 3 years is still tender now. Besides science says a child begins to develop retentive memory at age 3 so cut your kids some slack and let them grow and adjust naturally. All you need do is groom and guard them along the right path, also strive to instil the right values in them as role model to them. You can be sure they will never depart from it as they grow and mature. Even if they do wander (as they often tend to especially in this android age), never hesitate to draw them back via lenient and loving paternal corrective measures. May the Lord be with you
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by madskills(m): 5:56pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
introduce them to cartoon, educative ones for kids within their age, it will boost the hell out of them, I am a living witness, my kids top their classes now with so much remarkable confidence
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by TaiwoBest: 5:58pm On Apr 30, 2021
Download the confidence and boldness on playstore. Then install it in them cheesy...Pun intended
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Sanctecosma(m): 5:59pm On Apr 30, 2021
Wow! This is so me.
... The keyword is "being deliberate" in every action
CalmElder:




Criticality and honestly analyse yourself and make improvements accordingly. You will have to be deliberate.
E.g I use to be very very timid and careful to not offend anyone, most times to my own detriment. I'm more open about my feelings now. There's now a limit to what I to tolerate, I'm now very conscious of the right thing to say and do, when to say, and when to refrain from saying anything or taking an action and be respectful.
Most importantly, I'm learning to truly let go, honestly forgive.
I'm a very bold, but more quiet and reflective person now from years of practice.
Keyword : DELIBERATE ( Know why and what you're doing)

1 Like

Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Sanctecosma(m): 6:03pm On Apr 30, 2021
Ah swear. That way they will gain confidence the way even without him doin any work. Lol
Mutemenot:
Relocate to Ajegunle or Borno, u 'll thank Me later
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by BioGreen: 6:16pm On Apr 30, 2021
Get her a toy that she will eventually love, a scooter or bicycle.

When she finally enjoys riding it, try withdrawing it from her and observe if she will resist/fight back.

It's too early to conclude she is timid at that age as her characters are still latent/hidden.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Akuruoulo(m): 6:19pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
MINUS THAT AGGRESSIVE PART BRO. IT WILL DO HER MORE HARM THAN GOOD
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Queenserah26(f): 6:21pm On Apr 30, 2021
Very true

CalmElder:
Cultivate whatever trait you want to see in them. You're their role model for now.
Encourage your wife to do same.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
Free Her Joor!
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Akuruoulo(m): 6:24pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
SOME TIMES NATURE HAVE TO PLAY ITS PART. I WAS HER KIND , AND ALSO HER KIND NOW. THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT I DON'T PEOPLE PICK ON ME SOO MUCH , BECUS SOME TIMES I JUST AVOID U TOTAL AND I GAT ANGRY EASILY THATS ALSO WHY I CHOOSED TO AVOID PEOPLE. I CAN STAY ALONE FOR WEEKS WITHOUT STEPPING OUTSIDE. JUST DAT I BECME SUPER SHY BECUS OF THIS ATITTUDE.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Crixxx: 6:27pm On Apr 30, 2021
You should be grateful you have a cool headed 1st daughter but she is still too young. Give her time
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by jaxxy(m): 6:39pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!


It’s about her personality, exposure and interaction. Do u interact with her like she’s a baby? I will give u 2 scenarios.

Go the the ghetto say ajegunle and see how a 3 year old acts, they are agile, athletic and abit wild or tough. It’s basic due to their environment and what they see and experience.

Check a 3 year old American kid, very articulate, can interact quite sensiblly than an average 3 year old, agile, confident and expressive.

A child is what u make them to a large degree. She probably gets no meaningful or challenging interaction either from u and those around her
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Vlain: 6:40pm On Apr 30, 2021
Richy4:
Hmmm!!!!! Oga! Please give them food to eat and let them be..Besides How do you plan to define confident to a 3 year old and a one year old?
The only thing I can tell you is that you should wait till the first turned 7... Then you can register them at your nearest karate class or taekwondo lessons.. for a year.. that will boast their confidence..


grin grin grin
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Minemrys: 6:50pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Nobody: 6:55pm On Apr 30, 2021
3 is a bit too early to worry, but I get your point.

I noticed years back that Kids raised in the west tend to be more confident than their usually timid Nigerian counterparts, and resolved that my kids would be raised to be confident, and assertive.

For my Kid (He's 3+), I de-emphasized spanking, and yelling, and instead use conversation as often as possible - I also encouraged everyone around him to do the same . . . I once had to speak to his Head of School about his Teacher that was fond of shushing him cos He wasn't singing Christian songs.

I also stress encouraging him to make his own choices - so even in respect to meals, clothes etc, I nudge him to choose. It's stressful though, cos Kids can be indecisive, and pull stunts from time to time.

I'm conscious of things like my body language, and most times either kneel or sit down to scold him, so as to avoid me sub-consciously towering over him.

I give him small chores, and encourage him to do things for himself, like put his laundry in the basket, take his plates to the kitchen etc.

I have conversations with him about his day, and his cartoons, and use messages from the cartoons to reinforce certain values e.g. 'Wow! The PJ Masks are really brave! You should also be very brave!'. So when he is acting scared, I just go 'But Cat-Boy is never scared, why are you?'

Sometimes, when I lose it, I apologize to him. Both to show him that Adults can be wrong too, and also to let him learn first-hand how to say sorry (He used to hate this btw).

Lastly, when I tell him stories, I switch the characters' names with his name, and tell him stories of how he fought monsters, did awesome things etc.

So far . . . the results have been pretty good. The first thing most people notice is his confidence. I once asked his Teacher if He ever got bullied by his peers, and she replied 'Can anyone bully him?'

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by kwasoly(m): 6:57pm On Apr 30, 2021
[quote author=Hemanwel post=101194491]Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you![/quote

Shower them with love.
Let them know that daddy loves them dearly.
Say it always to their hearing.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by kumulus(m): 7:00pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!


Very good observation sir, please make sure to engage them in activities that would inspire them to be assertive and believe they're in charge/control (to a reasonable extent). Read stories to them and ask questions during and afterwards, play sports and use their toys with them, teach them songs and poems, paint and draw with them, when you're doing certain chores around the house also engage them...even when you're lifting stuffs they can't ordinarily lift ask them to help you and make them believe you really needed their help to do it. Have discussions with them, when there's an important decision to be made ask their opinion (their response might seem/be foolish, it doesn't matter).

The truth is, to all humans they are 'just kids' but by means of their individuality...they aren't. The mind of a child is like an empty drive or a fresh program, the world around them (whatever they are exposed to) writes the code. Your duty as a parent isn't to lord over them but to guide and guard them.

Parenting is a choice I've realized most folks didn't make, life somehow forced it on them. The task of child raising isn't for the weak but in this part of the world most believe it's all about feeding, clothing, sheltering and sending this 'gift of God and the gods' to schools. The nation is effectively what it is today because of failed parenting to a great extent,. I beg you to be the dad that did the most....give them all the loving.


I wish for you great success man, love and light.

-Lloyd

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Samsonklin(m): 7:11pm On Apr 30, 2021
na Money be confidence my guy
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by hstar: 7:26pm On Apr 30, 2021
frozen70:


Calm down, at three years, if she starts exhibiting those qualities you mention, you will be worried for her age

Start working on her at home

Seay her down and tell her how you feel about her quiet attitude

Children loves counseling

With time she will pick up
Correct
And they also act on what they hear
I know this because I work with kids

And I also mind what I say in their presence
because there are some things and statements I made in their sight

Before I know it, they perfected the statement and even better me at using those words
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by olduche(m): 7:27pm On Apr 30, 2021
U cant. De will learn the hard way. I use to be weak, shy n scared. But now wink
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by OsuIgboIpob: 7:49pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
No be wetin make you get their mama be that?
Her gene is VERY STRONG!
There is no remedy, JUST CARRY YOUR CROSS BIKO.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by cmecproblem(m): 7:54pm On Apr 30, 2021
It's always like that. Mark my words the second will be a natural fire starter. Second borns are crazy as kids.

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Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Cousin9999: 8:16pm On Apr 30, 2021
Build resilience in your children, like muscle and health.

From the American Psychological Association:

Resilience guide for parents and teachers
https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

I think it's also important for you to lead by example.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Durklil: 8:33pm On Apr 30, 2021
Flog her
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by frozen70(f): 8:38pm On Apr 30, 2021
hstar:

Correct
And they also act on what they hear
I know this because I work with kids

And I also mind what I say in their presence
because there are some things and statements I made in their sight

Before I know it, they perfected the statement and even better me at using those words

That's funny
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by elevated2: 8:48pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
Hello I am sure you are the dad. How do you and your wife treat her? Do you scream at her? Do you do anything scaring to her?Are you highly authoritarian towards her? Do you use words that don't promote self-esteem like bad-mouthing? If you can answer no to all these then you need to look deeper? How do you treat her mum? Are you guys happy around her? First look at the environment then you can move to wanting to increase her confidence.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by kenodrill: 8:57pm On Apr 30, 2021
AsherAmari:


I'm good.
Thank you.






Okay.that's nice.please can I have your email address!
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by addexx: 9:35pm On Apr 30, 2021
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!

I thought you were referring to teens and grown ups. oga go rest. that's the make of her spirit. just let her be herself and personally be active and caring around her. she's still trying to make sense of this world. the right time for expressing herself will come.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by Funkybabee(f): 9:44pm On Apr 30, 2021
I guess it's flat living disadvantage.

if na big compound or face me and slap you kids she would have change, by the time on kid to another give her a straight slap. she will understand wella


just leave her jare, that's how God created some people but I just only fear for them because of future circumstances they will face which they may not want to withstand.
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by megastu(m): 10:31pm On Apr 30, 2021
At 3?

Haba. One, you need to go and read about kids. You still have a lot of learning to do.

However for a start, begin to take the kids out a lot, to swimming, eateries, playground etc.
Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by megastu(m): 10:34pm On Apr 30, 2021
Absolutely
kumulus:



Very good observation sir, please make sure to engage them in activities that would inspire them to be assertive and believe they're in charge/control (to a reasonable extent). Read stories to them and ask questions during and afterwards, play sports and use their toys with them, teach them songs and poems, paint and draw with them, when you're doing certain chores around the house also engage them...even when you're lifting stuffs they can't ordinarily lift ask them to help you and make them believe you really needed their help to do it. Have discussions with them, when there's an important decision to be made ask their opinion (their response might seem/be foolish, it doesn't matter).

The truth is, to all humans they are 'just kids' but by means of their individuality...they aren't. The mind of a child is like an empty drive or a fresh program, the world around them (whatever they are exposed to) writes the code. Your duty as a parent isn't to lord over them but to guide and guard them.

Parenting is a choice I've realized most folks didn't make, life somehow forced it on them. The task of child raising isn't for the weak but in this part of the world most believe it's all about feeding, clothing, sheltering and sending this 'gift of God and the gods' to schools. The nation is effectively what it is today because of failed parenting to a great extent,. I beg you to be the dad that did the most....give them all the loving.


I wish for you great success man, love and light.

-Lloyd
Re: How Do I Instill Boldness And Confidence In My Daughters? by ofiko123(m): 11:05pm On Apr 30, 2021
Leave them for now...they will cultivate confidence and boldness as they advance in age..

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