chatinent:
Well, I don't see anything wrong in adopting the child legally if you feel you want to.


I'll only advise you make marriage honourable as God instituted.


You are welcome.

JONNYSPUTE:
..Ana eme nu. Lol. Give us one or two instances where it has happened and ended well.

LilMissFavvy:
Nairaland alpha males will not like this , see them rambling and ......... ......if the reverse was the case, they would expect the the lady to accept the child as hers.....such is life.

MadeMan01:


Men and women reason differently.
A man shoulders the burden of raising a family, raising another man's seed is a thankless job with no return on investment. The man is particular about his legacy and progeny. The baby mama is seeking her selfish interest for a man to accept her baby with another man and bear responsibility for her mistake. Ultimately, she would resent the man who took it up as weak. Even animals do not take responsibility for children they did not father

MadeMan01:


You are funny
You want to make marriage honourable to a woman who did not keep her womb honourable for you. Even animals (lions) kill cubs that were not fathered by them. Talk less of a man. You will regret it man. Break up with her and find a girl with no baby daddy issue

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

fkj950ax:


Legally adopting a child doesn't strip the biological parent of their rights. It only confers legal guardianship to you. And can only be done with the consent of both parents, or if one parent is deceased or a court has stripped one parent the legal guardianship to the child.
The issue of surname is entirely a personal issue. The courts or adoption process doesn't mandate that. Adoption is not about erasing name. They do not have sole custody because the father is not responsible for the child.
Just taking care of the child doesn't end there. There will be some kinks, hence adoption, an example is they can't take the child on holiday outside the country without the dad's consent.

mystery22:
Marry a single mother?

LilMissFavvy:
A man shoulders the burden of raising a family is a very wrong statement. A MAN AND WOMAN shoulders the responsibility to raise a family. It is extremely hard to see a home where a woman does not contribute in all aspects, including financially. Both raise a home, and there is nothing wrong raising any child if one has the resources.

chihes:
No cause for alarm my dear if you marry the lady legally and adopt the child legally. You can challenge the man and I can assure you, you will defeat him over the boy as long as you follow the due process by adopting him legally. Worry not if you fear that the boy may go back to his father because if you train him as you would for you biological children, I tell you he will always choose you over his biological father when the time comes.

LilMissFavvy:
Nairaland alpha males will not like this , see them rambling and ......... ......if the reverse was the case, they would expect the the lady to accept the child as hers.....such is life.

Ladyhippolyta88:


Nature doesn't stop him from doing anything
Cc.wisewordd if the father is no where to be found consent ko consentor ni.T he man is legally marrying the mother already and that can serve as a cover since the child was abandoned they shouldn't be going to the North Pole to look for anyone's consent

Loveknitting:



Nothing selfish about this, the biological father of the child is inresponseable, and the women is asking op to do the right thing,
I don't get why op brought it here, if he doesn't want to, he should just tell it to her face.

Rubbiish:

His biological father is just anyone, but his father!!! That boy will grow up to look for him, even if they try to steal him now, it will only be for a while! Or is your current father not your biological dad?? Why are u supporting this evil? He can be a father figure to that boy without stealing him from his biological father!
So long the biological father is still alive, he must seek his consent to adopt that boy!
That is the right thing to do! Try to be reasonable for once!

Ladyhippolyta88:

Be quiet and stop hyperventilating adopting a child does not mean you are stealing someone's child
If the biological father ran away and abandoned him he is deemed irresponsible and if he cannot be found there will be no need for his consent and the courts will see other reasons after all the child is with his mum the mother is marrying the would be father and the biological father did not even marry the mother legally.That said nobody is stealing anybody's child and it does not erase the biological father or stop the boy from looking for him if he wants to be found in the future

So stop being silly and crying why has the father not contacted the family over the years or gotten in touch with his son make person hear word abeg.

JONNYSPUTE:
....The truth of the matter is that there's no man or woman who can accept a child that is not biologically his or hers genuinely. Let's forget all these pretence.

If the child turns out bad tomorrow,this same op blabbing rubbish will even be the one to tell the boy to go look for his real Dad.

Notice how families who adopted before producing their own children starts maltreating the adopted one later.

LilMissFavvy:
True, but there is nothing wrong taking care of a child if one is capable or adopting fully if one wishes. Though I do not agree on him adopting the child, unless he wishes to. The lady should have rather allowed the child to bear her parents names. I don't know if I made sense, I can't remember the full story at the moment, but I don't think I would support my brother in taking such a decision.

Rubbiish:

Do u ever think in your mind the op can adopt that child while his father is still alive without him consenting to it?? U think the court will allow that? The world has not gone that evil as u would wish!

JONNYSPUTE:
....I'm not saying is wrong to adopt but he should do it properly.
There's already a lacuna in existence which is the boy's father is still alive and non of us knows why he is not yet in his son's life.

Op thinks that because he feels he is financially stable now that be can open mouth and call a fellow man irresponsible just because the finacee said he is and never bothered to ask questions.

So if the said irresponsible man shows up tomorrow,very wealthy and take up the matter. What do you think will be the fate of the op?

eyinjuege:


If an adoption is made legal, it strips the birth parents of all rights. It is really a final process and you can't say you want the child back after it's done.
Though, the birth parents have to consent for the adoption to take place, unless a court orders it to go ahead regardless.
The adoptive parents become the child's ONLY legal parents.
Legal Guardianship is another story altogether though, and very different from adoption. Biological parents still have some rights if a child is under legal guardianship though the guardian makes all the day to day decisions for that child and parental consent may be needed for certain things like travelling out like you mentioned. But if the child was adopted, parental consent isn't needed for anything at all.
Most adopted children aren't even allowed to see or know about their birth parents, though people are more forthcoming these days

JONNYSPUTE:
....So when did she findout the baby daddy is irresponsible? Guess after she has finished opening her irresponsible legs for him Abi.?

I just dey laugh the op. See am see him grave when the man turns up.

We are living in a lawless country.Lol

Ladyhippolyta88:

Showing up wealthy tomorrow does not erase the fact that he abandoned the child and has a case to answer which may not even go in his favour in the end.

Loveknitting:



The OP can't adopt the child without the father and law, consent. That is how its work. Nothing bad about this.

JONNYSPUTE:
...You don't get it. He might not even want to context the judgement,rather he can use other means to get his pound of flesh which might end very bad for the op.

Let him thread with caution. Nigeria is a very lawless country where any means go.

Mind you a person who is already down doesn't fear the ground.

Ladyhippolyta88:

Las Las the man go go jail it was even a good thing he was absent from the child's life since he kukuma get criminal tendencies