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Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? (27874 Views)

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Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by ivolt: 1:40pm On May 08, 2021
pocohantas:


There is nothing impractical about my advice. They should go for a legal (sole) custody of the child and leave it at that. EOD
Could you clarify the difference between adoption vs getting sole custody?
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Xkale1234(m): 1:40pm On May 08, 2021
Bro I salute marrying a single mom hmmm talkless of taking him legally
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by jaymichael(m): 1:42pm On May 08, 2021
Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.
Do not adopt another man's child that is still alive without his consent. What if the lady leaves you tomorrow and someone else adopts your own son too? The person that is not responsible today fit dey responsible tomorrow.
Do not do it except the "irresponsible" father gives his concent which I doubt he will.
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by donbenie(m): 1:43pm On May 08, 2021
Madecure:
Baba you will regret the move. But if you want to help, help the son and Carter for him without seeing him as your son. Simple
Really?

What exactly is wrong in seeing him as his son?

The boy will be living with him him,ain't he?
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by pocohantas(f): 1:44pm On May 08, 2021
ivolt:

Could you clarify the difference between adoption vs getting sole custody?


Adoption means the child would bear OP’s name and be assumed to be his child before the law. His real father ceases to exist or is immaterial in the grand scheme of things.

(Sole) Custody means they are like guardians but the child still has a father, bears the father’s name and the father can be consulted for certain decisions.

This is my layman’s definition.

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Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Kondomatic(m): 1:45pm On May 08, 2021
Ladyhippolyta88:

Do you actually think the boy is bearing the name of the irresponsible father when he didn't even marry the said lady in the first place.Nobody actually erased the father from the child's life the father did that by himself.I don't know why we give some people pass even when they are irresponsible the man is very aware he has a child somewhere but has abandoned the child for God knows who and will later come one day to come and reap the proceeds when the child is grown.God knows that if I were the child I will regard such a man as a mere sperm donor and not my father and will even reject his name this is not new as far as I am concerned.

It is a big decision nothing stops the OP from doing this but even if he doesn't he should try to be a father figure to the boy the child will grow up to appreciate and love him more than the sperm donor.
The op said that his woman [/b] that the father of his child is irresponsible and boom you all believed him without asking questions.


What if the woman lied?

What if she was actually the one that locked him out of the child's life like Tonto Dike?

Ask questions

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 1:47pm On May 08, 2021
Kondomatic:
The op said that his woman [/b] that the father of his child is irresponsible and boom you all believed him without asking questions.


What if the woman lied?

What if she was actually the one that locked him out of the child's life like Tonto Dike?

Ask questions
It is not in my place to ask or assume anything the OP dropped what he thought was appropriate to share and I replied based on that because you are also assuming and the woman might also be telling the truth.
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Nobody: 1:47pm On May 08, 2021
The Father is 1) still alive and 2) hasn't given you any consent to adopt his child.

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Lama70(m): 1:49pm On May 08, 2021
I can't advice here. But I just hope you know what you are walking into with both eyes open.
Think, re-think, consult , seek advice, pray until you become frus.trated and con.fused. Then you go back to square one again.
Some will tell you yes, while others may say no. You may even make enemies from this simple issue if care is not taken. However, it's not obvious you are in love and you already know the advice you seek from N L.
My man go ahead and do "what is already in your mind." It may work; it may not work. Life cannot be 'well planned' by anyone. Please don't forget to give us update in a decade's time whether good or otherwise.
From the innermost sanctuary of my heart, I wish you good luck.
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Nobody: 1:50pm On May 08, 2021
Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Get a lawyer, and adopt him legally. He is yours as long as you do it legally to make sure he is yours. Goodluck!
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by omoharry(f): 1:50pm On May 08, 2021
Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.
If the father was dead or the lady does not know who the father is (maybe due to her reckless actions) then you can adopt him .It means there is no father in the picture but since the child’s father is still alive, even if he only saw his son when he was 4months old will not change the fact that he remains his father .
Marry your wife , have your own children and be a father figure to your step boy .My two coin .

2 Likes

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by YaksonFCA(m): 1:52pm On May 08, 2021
Your stupidity is like Zeeworld - Extraordinary everyday

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by drnoel: 1:54pm On May 08, 2021
Sammy07:


So by the time he comes back for his son after spending on him, Una go be looking like dundi?

Anyways, nothing better than ur child, there will always be sentiment when he grows up with ur Children.

Won't happen like that. Be real
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by loluharmony(m): 1:55pm On May 08, 2021
To me i didnt see anything bad in dating a single mother, cuz most of the single ladies no too reliable like that, but adopting the chid is what i wont advice you to do but you can spend on him/her. I wish you conjuga bliss. Remain blessed
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Lovecars501(m): 1:57pm On May 08, 2021
jaymichael:
Do not adopt another man's child that is still alive without his consent. What if the lady leaves you tomorrow and someone else adopts your own son too? The person that is not responsible today fit dey responsible tomorrow.
Do not do it except the "irresponsible" father gives his concent which I doubt he will.
Even if the "irresponsible father" gives his consent,you still have to be careful
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by cerpvad(m): 1:58pm On May 08, 2021
I am currently dating a single mother of 28. She had a daughter of 9 years old. The same issue came up. She wants me to adopt her daughter but I am of the opinion that there is no need for that. The little girl knows her dad and I can only play the role of a father figure in her life. There is no level of legal adoption I can make that will make the little forget her biological father

2 Likes

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 1:59pm On May 08, 2021
YaksonFCA:
Your stupidity is like Zeeworld - Extraordinary everyday
....Lol
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by AgentGoat: 2:00pm On May 08, 2021
Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.


What did your family said?


grin grin grin














The way your mother go take pursue you comot. you go surprise. No single women for your whole state abi. mumu

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Moneyboyz: 2:01pm On May 08, 2021
My question is what if you break up with the child's mother in future?

Note that You will still be the child's father even if she hasn't given you a child yet.

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by drnoel: 2:01pm On May 08, 2021
Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Hello, I wonder why you would ask that question on NL when U know that most of the men here are immature (the so called redpillers, and alpha men).

The answer to your questions rests on you and your understanding with your bride.
In the Nigerian setting it takes a man, a good man to make a woman off a single mother. Guy U got my respect. Very well done.

It take a man with a larger heart to adopt the child of the woman. Think about it though. If your feelings are true for the mother then ofcos you can adopt the child as long as you intend to do good by that child and be the father that child so badly needs. Then U must make sure the mother understands and don't come between you both especially when U need to discipline the child.
Discuss well with your better half and come to an agreement then you do what needs to be done. It's a big move and a very good one. Best of luck.

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by wisewordd: 2:02pm On May 08, 2021
Ladyhippolyta88:

Judging from what he said so is the OP lying what explanation or problem will make a man abandon his son.I don't think the OP is lying he must know the basic facts and from he said there is nothing stopping him from adopting that boy if the baby daddy has failed to be present in his life.
what if the baby mama is preventing the baby daddy from being a part of the childs life? I will advise the OP to get the baby dad's contact without letting her know and talk to the guy. He'll find out what he wants to marry. No woman is ever at fault, it's only the men.

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by drnoel: 2:03pm On May 08, 2021
wisewordd:
what if the baby mama is preventing the baby daddy from being a part of the childs life? I will advise the OP to get the baby dad's contact without letting her know and talk to the guy. He'll find out what he wants to marry. No woman is ever at fault, it's only the men.

Not necessary
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Sirmuel1(m): 2:03pm On May 08, 2021
Shokoloko:


Please where should the four year old child live?


Her family. Her Mom
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by kenny160: 2:04pm On May 08, 2021
Lol in case she leaves you, you must sha take care of the baby by all means lol funny

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Kobicove(m): 2:05pm On May 08, 2021
Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Do not believe everything this lady tells you cos she may be the one restricting her baby daddy's access to the boy undecided

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by wisewordd: 2:05pm On May 08, 2021
She's evil and lying about everything including the fact that she loves you. She's just manipulating you because of her vagina. Get the baby dad's number without letting her know and talk to him. This is why we advise against baby mamas. They're never at fault, it's always the guys.

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 2:07pm On May 08, 2021
drnoel:


Not necessary
....So he should just blindly believe her story?
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by melodyogonna(m): 2:08pm On May 08, 2021
Born2winnx:
You wanna father another man sperm...fûck you nigga.


Don't you have your own sperm


Yeye style
You're a fool. Sperm don't make a father
Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by wisewordd: 2:10pm On May 08, 2021
drnoel:


Not necessary
It's just annoying how these ladies paint men bad. You'll never see a girl that cheated on her ex, it's always the guys. That lady is a lier.

1 Like

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by drnoel: 2:10pm On May 08, 2021
JONNYSPUTE:
....So he should just blindly believe her story?

If he has been with the woman for 4 years and doesn't know by now the kind of person she is, why would U be the one to tell him? Learn to mind your business.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by drnoel: 2:11pm On May 08, 2021
wisewordd:
She's evil and lying about everything including the fact that she loves you. She's just manipulating you because of her vagina. Get the baby dad's number without letting her know and talk to him. This is why we advise against baby mamas. They're never at fault, it's always the guys.

Comment is silly

2 Likes

Re: Should I Adopt My Fiancee's Son Legally? by Rubbiish(m): 2:11pm On May 08, 2021
Romanoff:


No guy here will support you.

If you love the child enough to adopt him legally, seek legal counsel.

Only a lawyer can help you.

Adopting the child legally makes you his father and even puts you above his birth father and in a custody battle with the mother, if she's found unfit, you still get to keep the child.

But it's a decision you have to think hard and that's why I'm suggesting you get legal counsel.
What do u mean by the bold??
Must everything be about gender war?
The father of d child is still alive for Christ sake! Do u think it is right for op to take someone's child who is still alive?? Will u encourage your brother or son to do such? Everything shouldn't be about gender war but common sense!

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