Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

fkj950ax:


Legally adopting a child doesn't strip the biological parent of their rights. It only confers legal guardianship to you. And can only be done with the consent of both parents, or if one parent is deceased or a court has stripped one parent the legal guardianship to the child.
The issue of surname is entirely a personal issue. The courts or adoption process doesn't mandate that. Adoption is not about erasing name. They do not have sole custody because the father is not responsible for the child.
Just taking care of the child doesn't end there. There will be some kinks, hence adoption, an example is they can't take the child on holiday outside the country without the dad's consent.

pocohantas:


Okay. I thought it includes name.

Yes to the highlighted. That is what I meant by erase. The man would have no say in the grand scheme of things. Too extreme. But then, considering the highlighted again, it is not such a bad idea.

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Mumu over sabi lover boy like you. Have you heard from the boy's father? Go ahead and adopt a male child before having your own naa.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

pocohantas:


Okay. I thought it includes name.

Yes to the highlighted. The man would have no say in the grand scheme of things. Too extreme. But then, considering the highlighted again, it is not such a bad idea.

Arabiandude:

Can he adopt the child without the child biological father consenting to it?

I go born, because maybe I am financially unable to cater for the child, one man will come from nowhere and adopt my child and automatically becomes my child father without my consent. All of una do well

Na kill I go kill both the man and the mother of my child

Sterope:
What if the child decides to take his name? What would you say to that?

pocohantas:


Okay. I thought it includes name.

Yes to the highlighted. The man would have no say in the grand scheme of things. Too extreme. But then, considering the highlighted again, it is not such a bad idea.

Ishilove:

Pocohantas, there are fathers and there are sperm donors. A man who abandons a child at age 4 months is a sperm donor. She might as well have gone to a sperm bank to pay for artificial insemination. The only claim he has to that child is his sperm and nothing else.

Romanoff:


Being financially incapable of taking care of the child is not the same as being an absentee father.

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Arabiandude:

Do you know why he is absent?
Do you know if he had to travel out for greener pastures and things hasn't been going as planned for him?
Do you know if maybe he passed through libya road for greener pastures and he is somewhere in jail in libya or he was able to cross to europe and he is somewhere in jail in Europe?
The girl surely knows the family of her baby daddy, has she gone to the baby daddy family house and the man family to her they have been hearing from their son and he said he is not responsible for the child?

Let the OP follows the girl to the child father's family house to seek for consent before they take any decisions.

But you actually seems like a wicked woman with a wicked heart.

Depressed101:

Why take care of a child that is not yours legally... Why not legally make him yours so that when he grows up nobody will come and knock on your door and say give me my son.. (THEY WILL SURELY Do) so if you intend to take full responsibility for the child, it is advisable that you make him yours with love..

chatinent:
Well, I don't see anything wrong in adopting the child legally if you feel you want to.


I'll only advise you make marriage honourable as God instituted.


You are welcome.

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

JONNYSPUTE:
... No matter how we twist this matter. As long as the man is alive,the court or agency will definitely request for him atleast to show why the child shouldn't be given out for adoption.
So it's not so easy as people make it seem.

They can only do that if they claim he is dead and present a certificate to prove it which in this case ,will be a crime.

I still suggest he takes care of him and have it in mind that anything can happen.

Glamgurl:
The way some men or guys think sometimes amazes me. So nobody should marry single mothers abi? Fact remains that some single mothers are far better than some of your so called single ladies. Another fact is that not all single mothers are wretched and plan to inherit their spouse's properties, some single mothers are even richer than the men they want to remarry. So deal with issues generally and not based on particular cases that you know that ended badly. Some end really great and well.
Now to the issue of adoption, I don't see anything wrong in adopting her child, there's nothing binding in law that the man should be financially responsible for the child neither is the woman asking for that. She might want a change of name for different reasons. If they want to travel out of the country as a family for example, the child having a different surname will pose a problem and to avoid criticism or the child feeling out of place when they all grow up. Another point is that the man and his family are not even interested in the child so what's the point keeping their name?
Let us stop stigmatizing single mothers, no woman wishes to be in that situation. There are single fathers too who remarry, I'm sure they never planned for their lives to be that way. A lot of men/women are victims of horrible relationships and marriages with pretenders, they would have been deep into the relationship/marriage before discovering they made a grave mistake. You that you are judging today, you never know what will befall you maritally which will not be your fault. Even pastors divorce and remarry. STOP THE STIGMATISATION ESP. TOWARDS WOMEN!

Arabiandude:

Even if they chose to lie to the court that the man is dead, aside presenting a death certificate to the court, I feels a court paper also have to be serve to the man's family to appear in court.

pocohantas:


The child is only 4. What does he know about taking names?

Kids will always be kids. It is who they see that they know. This includes their parents. So all this talk of the man coming to claim the child later holds no water. Out of curiosity the child might be tempted to find his/her root or know the father’s reason for supposedly abandoning him, but that is about it.

Sterope:
When he is gold enough to do so.

Rubbiish:

@bold nature stops op from doing it!
The biological father is still alive & without his consent to this arrangement, it is stealing!
He can be a father figure to that boy without stealing him! Forget the legal procedures, op is simply trying to steal someone's child!

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

TheGift:
If you had asked , should you adopt your WIFE's Son legally, the question would be easier to answer.

The only reason I see for you to be skeptical is as per how it affects the biological Father I.e if He has a say in the matter.

I think there may be a case for legal adoption based on His irresponsibility and the fact that they were not legally married. However, I would want to get the Father's perspective and make it as smooth as possible.

I would also want to know why it is important to your Wife to be, there might be other ways of addressing her concerns and reassuring her fears.


Otherwise, people are adopting even Children of other races, talk less of a child that was carried and born by your own wives womb, the same womb that will hopefully carry your child.

Glamgurl:
The way some men or guys think sometimes amazes me. So nobody should marry single mothers abi? Fact remains that some single mothers are far better than some of your so called single ladies. Another fact is that not all single mothers are wretched and plan to inherit their spouse's properties, some single mothers are even richer than the men they want to remarry. So deal with issues generally and not based on particular cases that you know that ended badly. Some end really great and well.
Now to the issue of adoption, I don't see anything wrong in adopting her child, there's nothing binding in law that the man should be financially responsible for the child neither is the woman asking for that. She might want a change of name for different reasons. If they want to travel out of the country as a family for example, the child having a different surname will pose a problem and to avoid criticism or the child feeling out of place when they all grow up. Another point is that the man and his family are not even interested in the child so what's the point keeping their name?
Let us stop stigmatizing single mothers, no woman wishes to be in that situation. There are single fathers too who remarry, I'm sure they never planned for their lives to be that way. A lot of men/women are victims of horrible relationships and marriages with pretenders, they would have been deep into the relationship/marriage before discovering they made a grave mistake. You that you are judging today, you never know what will befall you maritally which will not be your fault. Even pastors divorce and remarry. STOP THE STIGMATISATION ESP. TOWARDS WOMEN!