Re: Tired Of My Marriage by CakesToolsOvens(f): 11:02pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Ninobraw: I am a guy of 29 years old and she's 24 years old. She is a nurse and she is working and earning good salary. We have been dating for the past 3 years, ever since she came into my life things have been moving forward. Between the space of three years I was able to buy a land and build two flat (almost completed) and also buy a nice car. All this was possible because she was in my life. She assisted me with the money she accumulated before she met me, (2 million naira) gave it to me to add it to the money I was using to build the house, she has really been the best thing that has happened to me. We both have never cheated on each other, I'm very happy having her in my life. During the period of covid 19 my business was shut down totally she was the one that sustained me Althrough and never complained.
She later resigned from her nursing work and started her own chemist shop, I supported her with 300k she rejected it and asked me to add it to the money for house project. She is making some good money from her store any way.
Now we plan to do our marriage by December and I budgeted more than 1 million naira. the problem is that she insisted that it is too much that I should not spend more than 500k that's been a problem to us but later settle it. because she won't just listen to me she wants me to spend less than that the reason why I wanted to spend more than 1 million Naira was because she deserves it.
So because of that we adjusted the marriage to three months time since it's just 500k I am spending now my question is can I spend 500k for a moderate marriage? And I wanted to do something tangible for her because she deserve more than everything I have, please what other things can I do for her that will be equivalent to everything she has done for me.
Since we have been dating she has never asked me for big money and also when ever I give her she always tells me that she gat money that no need to give her, in fact she love me so much that she don't even accept money from me unless gift. Now I want to do something tangible for her because since I have been dating her she doesn't allow me spent on her that much, and she doesn't complain. SMH You want to end your marriage because of food when you can sort it out amicably. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by showafrica(m): 11:04pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Ninobraw: No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.
The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.
Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.
Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do. This small problem you are tired... Na wa for you oo. Marriage no be beans, just increase your 'manhood'. Solution is simple, start a project and tell your wife to run the home while you fund the project. Either start building a house or start building a business. I prefer the house thing because you will never lose. By the time she runs the house with 40k, no be person go tell her to adjust visitors bele. If something hungry you too much go outside go chop. Solution 2. Build a business and engage the loafers. Employ them and pay them salary so that, they will be eating from there produce. May car wash, dry cleaning, computer center etc 4 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by sanpipita(m): 11:05pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
I think your in laws are being insensitive, Nigeria of today is tough for one person to feed many people like that and they eat too much, discuss it with your wife and make her see reasons, if she insists on them staying let her contribute enough money to feeding. 2 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by SonofGod231: 11:05pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Relocating doesn't make the problem go away.They are her blood remember?If She can't talk to them who will?As the man you just have to know how to gently let them down gradually and talk this with madam as well because she has to be supportive in achieving this,She should know you guys need to prioritize and plan for rainy days instead of adopting her siblings and family members as the main project for the month. This only goes to show you that "everyone is going through something". In as much as your siblings and love ones check on you and show their support,try not to over Burden them Pls. 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by naturefellow(m): 11:06pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Slimdan360: Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Bbbwings: 11:06pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
[s] Elvisgolden: Your wife is not cheating on you
Your wife is not nagging or troublesome
Your wife is very generous and open hearted with you
Your wife is hardworking.....
And yet you choose to be immatured because of food.......Because you are yet to talk to your understandable wife, yet you are here complaining on social media
You choose to be tired of a loving marriage and wife because of food you have the capacity to buy......
You choose to label your in-laws as gluttons....and worse still your father/mother in law which are relatively your parents because of food
May God have Mercy on your soul..........
If you are wise, you are supposed to be thanking God for the ability to feed others
If you are wise, you are supposed to be telling God to increase your financial capabilities so as to be able to do this assignment..........we rise by lifting others
You are supposed to be thanking God for a peaceful, caring and understanding wife....
[/s] no emotional blackmail of op shall stand times have changed buhari is in town 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Suremikky(m): 11:06pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
See wetin buhari cause abeg |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by RichAbujaGuy: 11:09pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
@Ninobraw
Its only temporary Mr Op because of the pandemic and struggling economy. God or the universe has blessed you to be the man and leader of both families. Please be patient and handle this divine responsibility with pride. There's enough grown up small boys in the country that can hardly feed demselves. Sooner or later your sacrifice will return in your lifetime 10-100 fold or more! Peace & happiness to u and the mrs. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by na2016: 11:09pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
okoroemeka: poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you. If you like, be as rich as Dangote, if all your inlaws come to do this, you may not be happy. There should be some limit. Don't the inlaws have self-respect? 2 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by curtvinell: 11:10pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
okoroemeka: poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you. Even Nigerian millionaires of recent wouldn't tolerate these attitudes from irresponsible in-laws. I wonder where you stand Mr richman 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by dododawa1: 11:11pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Inside life |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by yusluvad(m): 11:12pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
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Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Connected1: 11:13pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
stupidmod3: nope didn't I, i simply let him know d leaving condition, wud it b better if he had come n I start giving altitude? am a straight forward fellow dont have time for saying one thing n doing another.
like i said hw works unless he was looking for where to b eating 247 while saving his money then he isnt a good fellow Your moniker says your true nature, did he tell you he won't be feeding himself, so you have food, you won't give him to eat from it, you insulted him indirectly, if he was someone who loves you, he would begin hating you |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Connected1: 11:13pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
stupidmod3: nope didn't I, i simply let him know d leaving condition, wud it b better if he had come n I start giving altitude? am a straight forward fellow dont have time for saying one thing n doing another.
like i said hw works unless he was looking for where to b eating 247 while saving his money then he isnt a good fellow Your moniker says your true nature, did he tell you he won't be feeding himself, so you have food, you won't give him to eat from it, you insulted him indirectly, if he was someone who loves you, he would begin hating you m |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Bbbwings: 11:14pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
igbowoman:
Poverty is your problem Poverty is bad O di very bad.God punish Poverty Blame Buhari not your inlaws op is not living in poverty he can provide for his needs it is the inlaws that are living in poverty 3 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by osayuwamwen(m): 11:16pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
This is the fear am having from marry the girl am currently dating 2 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Florencejames(f): 11:17pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
uuzba:
If they die in your house, you are responsible.. More will come from the village to hold you responsible for the death and burial.
That is the worst thing you can ever do.
Better to just move away to a far place with your family. You are right they should move very far from them Possibly travel out of the country When they think of transport fare to and fro Them go stay for house 2 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by bragamycin: 11:20pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
CakesToolsOvens:
SMH
You want to end your marriage because of food when you can sort it out amicably. And the clown talk say no money to buy car . Pple no normal sha |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by bigcasava1(m): 11:21pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
My brother I feel ur pain. Talk to her about it not pleading infact u can be sarcastic Abt it . This will make her come to her senses. 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by yusluvad(m): 11:22pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Nice and encouraging comment... RichAbujaGuy: @Ninobraw
Its only temporary Mr Op because of the pandemic and struggling economy. God or the universe has blessed you to be the man and leader of both families. Please be patient and handle this divine responsibility with pride. There's enough grown up small boys in the country that can hardly feed demselves. Sooner or later your sacrifice will return in your lifetime 10-100 fold or more! Peace & happiness to u and the mrs. 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Tokz2002: 11:23pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
3 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by bragamycin: 11:23pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
showafrica:
This small problem you are tired... Na wa for you oo. Marriage no be beans, just increase your 'manhood'.
Solution is simple, start a project and tell your wife to run the home while you fund the project. Either start building a house or start building a business. I prefer the house thing because you will never lose. By the time she runs the house with 40k, no be person go tell her to adjust visitors bele. If something hungry you too much go outside go chop.
Solution 2. Build a business and engage the loafers. Employ them and pay them salary so that, they will be eating from there produce. May car wash, dry cleaning, computer center etc Op old stories wey him talk say wife na nurse , e won use 1m do wedding, e don buy car don build house finish now Dey talk say them Dey chop his food finish. The op no normal 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Mairice125: 11:23pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Mama di mama .God bless you Bola146: I understand your worries. Sir, I know that you or saw this coming( that is why it's good to stop what you can't continue) they are her relations, they are her cross, she can't ignore them away. It's now left for you to sit your wife down maybe to minimize their coming or solutions to it. You can still be helping with the little you have, it's better than to ignore them totally. 2 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Tony142: 11:23pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Before I will marry I will gives my wife all the rules I want the marriage to follow, and one of my rules will be "none of my family member or her family member should come and stay with us"
It is already too late for you, if to say you put down rules b4 marrying her, she would have prevent them from comming from the very beginning, but now it is already too late |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by bragamycin: 11:24pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Ninobraw: No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.
The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.
Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.
Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.
Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do. Person go just come nairaland Dey lie up nd down |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Dcoy: 11:25pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Why are you rambling about the father being a pension earner, and why they had 9 children.. looking for a boy... You are just sulking like a baby.... If you were matured you will just go straight to the point without bringing in her family problems....na only you want to chop your wife salary..... Thank God she is working..... you would have insulted her join... Mumu man.... you never reach to marry.... It's obvious you don't like her family...but don't bring her father into your conversation, please |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by saintruky(m): 11:26pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
mu2sa2: Op, you chose to marry the firstborn of a poor family consisting of a litter of nine kids (wow, plus mum and dad that's a complete mix football team). As things stand, you're their benefactor. May God be your helper in shouldering the responsibilities of a family you voluntarily married into. Obob am about to toll d op line too o... My girl is d first child... Though d parents gave birth to just 4 kids (2 girls n 2 guys)... That's what's calming me down sha.. since them no plenty like @ op own... |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by ABANGWABOI(m): 11:26pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
baby124:
You never jam agbaya big Bros and sis wey younger siblings are responsible for Well Bro.. I can't control or predict how people behave but one thing I am sure of doing is calling the shot at my home and space.. Even if I marry the first child of 50 children.. I make the rules.. and nobody can go otherwise in my home.. Op is a Weakling.. He got no balls or steel to dish out orders in his home.. No cap. 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by olayincar(m): 11:26pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
amedualiyu: My opinion as a married man, I will advise you patiently change your environment. If you stay in Ikorodu before, relocate to Iyana ipaja. Please don't make your annoyance known to them. Just patiently relocate far away from them. Ahaha Even with Red bus... I don't think they can come up with the T-fare � |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Xkale1234(m): 11:28pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Bro my advice is for you to relocate, ur wife will feel somehow if you open up, try to relocate |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 11:30pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
If he relocates what is stopping them from following ? If you feed them like elephants why wouldn't they eat like elephants get your wife to tell them that things tough and because of projects you are embarking on, there is no food, if they turn up offer them water. They would soon get the message flokii:
The guy should pack his things and relocate.. he needs to go far away if he wants peace. Which kind of thing is that 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by duality(m): 11:33pm On Jun 13, 2021 |
Yankee101: He categorically stated his inlaws were poor and the dad was on a small pension with many kids. So it's not gluttony when they're genuinely hungry
Isaiah 58:10 Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon
As for the personal jab, I live in oyinbo land, were food is a none issue, you don't even visit without calling. If YOU are hungry I'll gladly feed you
People should have self respect abeg... Throwing the word " poverty " anyhow is wrong. You know it, irrespective of what you post on Nairaland. |