baby124:

The parents will send two-three siblings to live with them. Claiming they are suffering. They will move the problem permanently into his house.

aaah, no be juju be that?

Drizzy5001:
aaah, no be juju be that?

You think their daughter blind eyes marry the guy? She obviously told her family he is capable. That is why they have the mind to do this. Or maybe OP misrepresented himself to marry the wife, now the matter choke.

You have to man up. Set borders for your wife and ensure she communicates to dem parasites. Else, she joins dem outside your trips. Who dey feed grown ass mofos dese days...? Abegi. Do what u have 2do b4 e do u.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

LOL, Solomon was spending millions feeding men daily in the Bible. I heard Abiola spent millions when he was alive too. For the fact that they eat and go, once they are helpful, feeding them shouldn't be an issue but OP being a struggling man is right to cry out biko and I support him so he can save and achieve other things in his own family till he becomes financially bouyant to feed many mouths

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

The only problem is that you see them as just your wife's people not yours!

You no love ya wife?
What is love then?

Sometimes me and my brothers (from my wife's side....she is the first too) do soak gari.... E shock u? But na true!

Don't worry God bless you richly brother, just open ur hand and heart.

How I wish u can see how they adore you.

If you clean up your heart more ways to make money will open for you bro, never feel bad about it.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

God bless you for this point.
From the write-up, OP is not due for marriage at all. Marriage is never a function of age or salary but maturity.

Joydan95:

See ehn, family people need to be handled with strong hands else they will destroy your marriage and laugh at you at the end or insult you. When i got married, my mum started visiting everytime most times unannounced and my husband started raising concerns plus my mum’s call was always too much. My husband told me to tell my mum that he wasn’t comfortable with the way she calls me and come to our house unannounced. I tried but my mum didn’t bulge not until the day my husband spoke to her about her interference in our marriage. He told her she is only to call me twice in a week and come to the house once a month. My mum was hurt but I saw that she got the message this time. My husband even threatened that we will relocate to a very far distance if she doesn’t change.

. Your own mother's call is disturbing him

Know long story bro, move to another city like 5-6 hours away

Tell your wife how you feel before making a rash decision.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

my brother!

He never knew that they are his brothers and sister too! Poverty.

Sometimes I soak gari with my brothers (bro-inlaw) . sometimes I wish I can give more.

Bola146:
I understand your worries. Sir, I know that you knew or saw this coming( that is why it's good to stop what you can't continue) they are her relations, they are her cross, she can't ignore them away. It's now left for you to sit your wife down maybe to minimize their coming or solutions to it. You can still be helping with the little you have, it's better than to ignore them totally.

God no go shame u

Never marry a poor woman.

Bozz01:
Try Relocate to Canada let's see if they will follow you to finish your indomie

Such people are parasites ,freeloaders and the kind of people who'll only be your friend when its harvest time.When its time for tilling of the land/dirty work etc they don't know you.

I understand your worries, there is nothing wrong with it if you're financially buoyant and you love your wife not alone. It could be their trying time. You cant feed them forever.

Enculer:
Never marry a poor woman.

And you a rich man oga??

That's exactly what I'm facing in my own marriage. I don't attribute poverty to it, rather I see it as invasion of my family privacy. Living very close with in-laws has a lot of negative effect. Sometimes you begin to imagine if your wife actually belong to you...or her family, becos all her attention and focus is always entirely on her family. My brother op, u r not alone in this.....may God Almighty help us.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

You are naive to the mysteries of this world.

Have you asked yourself how GOD have been making it possible to continue feeding them?

E go shock you that the moment they stop, you may find it hard to feed the little family you have

Bro nah food dem dey chop so just look away and focus ON GOD who is able to bless you as you feed them so much that you will even be willing to feed more of them.

Life is a mystery... Aditu laye

I have been in situations where I was giving out money regularly to certain people every month end so much that I became worried that what if I can no longer sustain it but guess what? God has been making a way so much that if a source of income stops, God miraculously opens another means for me.. Even me I no undrstand... That is the mystery I'm talking about.

Toks2008:


You are naive to the mysteries of this world.

Have you asked yourself how GOD have been making it possible to continue feeding them?

E go shock you that the moment they stop, you may find it hard to feed the little family you have

Bro nah food dem dey chop so just look away and focus ON GOD who is able to bless you as you feed them so much that you will even be willing to feed more of them.

Life is a mystery... Aditu laye

I have been in situations where I was giving out money regularly to certain people every month end so much that I became worried that what if I can no longer sustain it but guess what? God has been making a way so much that if a source of income stops, God miraculously opens another means for me.. Even me I no undrstand... That is the mystery I'm talking about.

This is not a practical advice at all.

Ur wife should be firm so not to stress both of you because of her younger ones, she should know you can't please family no matter what you do later they still talk bad of you guys. Again she have to let them know they should struggle for themselves working to help their own self as you're young couple, she should tell them hohally that they're making you guys uncomfortable in your own house?! Both of you should decide every month from her salary and yours what amount you will be given her parents and you don't want their unnecessary visit there's nothing you do o to please family o

Tomorrow you will be complaining that the rich only marry the rich. You see yourself. You are poor, come marry from poor home. Why wont you complain!

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

When some pple are looking for families that we I'll come and eat with them, you have and you are complaining. If dem come u go say Dem too too come, if dem no come u go say wifey y ur family na dey visit us

Why not turn to God for showers of blessings & additional resources to feed them?

This is the answer.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Slimdan360:
Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace

Welcome pastor.

xavuv:
Immatured OP.

So You you think its by stopping to feed them that will make you achieve things like cars, house and other comforts,lol.

If i were in your shoes, i will gladly make them comfortable according to my ability whenever they visit and not complain or have grudges against my inlaws or wife. And see how God will bless me.



Note: i said according to my abilty, i will not overstretch. If there is food in the house, we eat, and i won't hide it if there is none either.

You are wise

Be a good in-law. If they become rich tomorrow and start helping you would you reject it?

Eat alone die alone.

its unfortunate but u shuld av seen the handwriting on the wall!a poor fml with 9kids and ur lady bn the first child!anyway,u will need the cooperation of ur wife to get over this ie if u dont want to end up in debts!!

Omo you nah mugu ohh, I don't see anything wrong with that,, all you need is to double your hustle man, stop disturbing people with senseless and meanless post like this please

duality:


People should have self respect abeg...
Throwing the word " poverty " anyhow is wrong.

You know it, irrespective of what you post on Nairaland.

Why is it hard for you to grasp that Nigerians grapple with poverty?

Nationally, 43 percent of Nigerians (89 million people) live below the poverty line, while another 25 percent (53 million) are vulnerable

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_Nigeria

The only reason the number is not more is because of Africa's family support system, just like this young man has been doing, even if grudgingly.

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

I hate when u say poor family background....cos you are not rich. If you are rich u go give & change them without even feeling it financially. The fact is that person nai dey make person rich. So bro, be rich & marry from even d poorest background u will always make an impact in their lives.....let's stop say poor background cos na men like u dey raise families even from d poorest in town. Take a look @ kanu Nwankwos wife, she's not from a rich background but kanu changed their lives......Be rich abeg....givers never lacks.

Marriage is not for kids.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

I thought u said u want to cut the story short, na him u come give us this Long Epistle to Read