What made you fall in love with him in the first place?

boo is a dirty pig and outside the country. You need a friend with benefits.

Gracejeri:
We've been together for a year and throughout that one year, he only helped me when I wasn't working, now I've started he rarely sends money. Moreso this issue has been ongoing, I equally said it when we began.

the word dirty sounds raw and complex, I would have prefer unkempt. as it maybe, I thinks the only thing you can do since he is far away is to be reminding him in a joking way

Gracejeri:
I don't even know why I sort for help here,
do u guys think I would share this if I don't love him and love to help him? You think I wouldn't keep quiet and continue eating his money if I don't want him? Ode

You can't insult everyone, dear. Filter the meaningful comments from the negative ones and ponder over.

Wish you the very best of luck.

OlayemiAshraf:
. Wakanda Igbo man is your boyfy ? ... All the Igbo men I knew weren't dirty ....

Instead of telling him to ""do tis and do tat" ...say it to his face , that he's dirty , and you're ashamed , tell him other people are complaining that' he' is stinking ...

The guy is rich, who wants to leave a dirty rich guy for a neat broke one, it is unpossible

These things can be addressed in a romantic way, in a humorous way but most of you will just flare up things, you are already building a distance between the two of you with the way you are handling it

tee59:
Since you agreed to date him despite his look, I think ,you can work on his weakness. If you truly love this guy, and not his money. His body grooming should be important to you. Help him. Look , no one is perfect. Would you have preferred him broke and neat? Won't you complain if he has no money to spend on you? You're in his life for a reason. Help him to become what you want.

Hmmm

Gracejeri:
Nairalanders I need advice oo, I am a lady, 27yrs and my boyfriend is 35yrs,he's an engineer, he has a company here in Nigeria but he lives outside the country where he's doing a construction work too, he takes care of me, sends money to me, and his family, we pray and he gives me advice too, he sustained me after my nysc for 3months before I got a job and he does that out of SELF WILL.
But my issue is he doesn't take care of himself, I made him change his haircut style, I always remind him that he should trim his beards, get some under wear, clothes etc, he can spend money to stock the house, but I don't like what he wears.
He believes that "nma nwoke bu n'ahu nwanyi ya" that's an igbo saying meaning that for a man to be said to have money and look good, you have to see his wife hence he wants me to look good but don't do same to himself, I advice him on businesses too, just as all normal guys in relationships they always ask for their babes pictures and I send them to him but when I ask him, he sends dirty pictures which I end up deleting, note I am not talking about his construction clothes, but even at home. The colour and everything makes me delete them,
Yesterday we had an argument on it and I stated clearly that I am attracted to neat and simple guys, it mustn't be expensive, then he said its Nollywood movies that is distracting me, that when I come in that I will change him, I told him I am not ready for that, that he should start it now.
But we ended with an argument yesterday and uptil now we've not talk to each other, what do i do pls.

Instead of you telling him what to do, show him how to do it instead. Buy him those clothes, buy him those jeans, trousers and shoes you love to see on other men. And see if he will wear it or not. Lead the way and he will follow.

Gracejeri:
I don't even know why I sort for help here,
do u guys think I would share this if I don't love him and love to help him? You think I wouldn't keep quiet and continue eating his money if I don't want him? Ode

The bold shows the kind of lady you are, I would have loved to return back the gesture but I don't condescend that low with ladies or in the internet, so I'll let that slide.

I don't even know why I sort for help here,
do u guys think I would share this if I don't love him and love to help him?

A man that washes his dirty linens outside shouldn't expect neighbors not to talk about it.

Kindly read the post again, this time let it sink.. I think u jumped where I said he lives outside Nigeria

DareyFortified:




Instead of you telling him what to do, show him how to do it instead. Buy him those clothes, buy him those jeans, trousers and shoes you love to see on other men. And see if he will wear it or not. Lead the way and he will follow.

He's Godly, he's Mature in reasoning, we grew from friendship.

Deicide:
What made you fall in love with him in the first place?

You're a coward, if love, respect and faithfulness doesn't exist in your dictionary and relationship, I am a lady that helps build her man, that is why I'm seeking for views.

Tajbol4splend:



The guy is rich, who wants to leave a dirty rich guy for a neat broke one, it is unpossible

Gracejeri:
You're a coward, if love, respect and faithfulness doesn't exist in your dictionary and relationship, I am a lady that helps build her man, that is why I'm seeking for views.

You must be toxic, but that's your problem shaa, KKM

If a girl loves a man and seeks to affect his life positively people will still talk.. You're senseless for saying this.

Xenry:
Eyyaa! Hustling don enter this one's brain ooo! He over-believed that the handsomeness of a man lies in his money.

---

This life no balance shaaa: One will have money but can't take care of himself, while another will not have anything, but can still be able to look clean and neat; Just like the Narcissistic guy that I saw this evening, he no get shishi, but he still dey package himself wella — even with lipstick and eye pencil .

---

But seriously, were you blinded by his money all these while or is it his performance in bed? I know something is holding you back, or maybe he is speaking the language that you can understand —MONEY.

---

No worry ooo! Just take am as you see am abeg, because he speaks the language that girls understand, and he can easily fill up your space if you leave.

You are more foolish, if you don't have a lady that affects your life positively, then your life is doomed, we love each other and we seek each others growth, I can't see what I don't like and not say it, I do not want a break up in marriage hence this is our courtship process,
u don't see some certain things in human until you're close

Brandonx:
I don't mean to be rude but you seem like a very foolish person.
Didn't you see his appearance before you agreed to date him ?
Oh you need someone you can flaunt and do show off to your friends.
Madam leave obviere alone if he does not smell he's a real man.

Thanks for understanding

Mordson:
I'm afraid you got your work cut out for you.

Changing dirty and sloppy people who care less about their looks takes quite a lot of patience and determination. It might take you years of hardwork to effect some semblance of change in them. For others it might take a lifetime. You're trying to change an entrenched culture of dirtiness that prolly started from their childhood and has become ingrained their DNA. It's a tough job.

Weigh your options and quit now if you're not up for such arduous task of constantly correcting and teaching him. He's mostly likely going to put up a stiff resistance and frustrate your efforts and infuriate you. If you're not cut out for such, quit.


I really detest slovenly folks. My experience with a dirty and slovenly lady left me traumatized. Gosh!

Yoruba people dirty pass

PoloG:
Omo igbo with dirtiness

Gracejeri:
If a girl loves a man and seeks to affect his life positively people will still talk.. You're senseless for saying this.

You are the senseless one, okay? And watch your language here please.
What do you even know about men? Even if you want to change him, it will be because of his money (and not some imaginary love that you are here claiming you have for him). Women are deceptive creatures, it's obvious that you want to leave him but something is holding you back.

Follow your heart

Ahhhhhhh this one na confirm money miss road...

Mchew...this one.never serious.

Aunty be careful else u will soon loose that ur husband to another woman...if he cheats wahala, stingy wahala,not caring wahala...why can't u be competent with what u have...u have to note that thousands of women are looking for a husband just like him...

But his money is not dirty,?

Gracejeri:
You are more foolish, if you don't have a lady that affects your life positively, then your life is doomed, we love each other and we seek each others growth, I can't see what I don't like and not say it, I do not want a break up in marriage hence this is our courtship process,
u don't see some certain things in human until you're close

A stupid gold digger that's what you are. We know your type you ve seen there's money there that's why you want to stay. Run along and look for your so called "neat man" ode
If I were that man from your attitude I would keep you with promise of marriage over there in Nigeria while I do a low key marriage and make a nice family with someone that understands Me. When your head correct you go find your way gold digger.

Try find a land who will love you enough to affect your life, and not only about money money money, trust me if I care about his money alone, I won't be with him and if he knows I love only his money, he won't have me too.. I am not like your girlfriend, I am a a great lady who is achieving my dreams and oh just do you know, I got a full funded admission for my masters in Canada, He's reaping too, not all women have that intellect,
have a man whom they respect even in his absence and still always choose to affect j positively.

Brandonx:

A stupid gold digger that's what you are. We know your type you ve seen there's money there that's why you want to stay. Run along and look for your so called "neat man" ode
If I were that man from your attitude I would keep you with promise of marriage over there in Nigeria while I do a low key marriage and make a nice family with someone that understands Me. When your head correct you go find your way gold digger.

Gracejeri:
Try find a land who will love you enough to affect your life, and not only about money money money, trust me if I care about his money alone, I won't be with him and if he knows I love only his money, he won't have me too.. I am not like your girlfriend, I am a a great lady who is achieving my dreams and oh just do you know, I got a full funded admission for my masters in Canada, He's reaping too, not all women have that intellect,
have a man whom they respect even in his absence and still always choose to affect j positively.

Bla bla bla! From your write up I can deduce you are broke which automatically translate to a gold digger, insolent and very dull.

And you even sound like a man why are you trolling?
Uncle I've seen all kinds of lady both home and away so there's nothing you are going to Say to justify your silly write up.

Gracejeri:
Yoruba people dirty pass

smelly hairy yamleg igbo girl from Aba the most dirty city in nigeria...

Gracejeri:
Yoruba people dirty pass

see who is talking

Gracejeri:
I love my colour, it's such a beautiful colour

I'm sure you do. But why did you change the picture tho? You now put the picture of a fair skin lady.

Gracejeri:
This is the kinda negative advice you give yourself before making a stupid decision, so a lady will love him for being dirty?, I am willing to help him that is why I am asking for help me as we have discussed this and he's getting upset.

But you love him enough to chop his money? That's my main point. When he was assisting you and buying you phones (as you wrote in your past threads) you didn't know he was dirty then?
Now that you got a job, your eyes suddenly opened that he is dirty.

My sister, talk is cheap. He has invested money in taking care of you, you too invest money/effort in seeing him change. Buy him the clothes and under wears yourself. Dress him up the way you want him to appear. He won't refuse the gifts from you. This will achieve far greater results than just criticizing him and nagging.

If you cannot do these, then leave him alone and move on.

Gracejeri:
If you read my post very well, you will see where I said he's in another country, don't be too fast to reply without proper understanding, if he were to be around,
I would have bought them myself, but he's in Italy, do I buy clothes from here and send to Italy?

Grace,
I have the same answer for you. Not everyone is vast in shopping for the right outfits. Discuss with him on the next time he would be going shopping for clothes. Do a live video call with him on that day, show him the kind of t-shirts and jean or outfits you like him to wear or appear in.

Since you care for him and want the best, just assume that he doesn't know fashion, then help him improve. Don't just sit on the phone in Nigeria to criticize him on his dressing. That's quite annoying you know. Especially for someone who works his teeth off to make you happy and provides your financial needs. Hence he was on the defensive and getting upset. Each time you criticize someone they come up with many excuses in their minds to defend themselves. Criticism isn't always the best way to bring change.

So the key word is - help him improve. It is like a teacher criticizing a Jss3 pupil that he doesn't know the next lesson topic; Quadratic equation. Until the teacher teaches him and gives him examples, he shouldn't criticize him. In this case, you are the teacher, he is the pupil, fashion/dress sense is the quadratic equation. The goal of a relationship is for couples to help each other's weaknesses.

Cheers.