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I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Styluss: 8:27am On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


Thank you
please be safe...stressing yourself is not worth it. I believe he'll come to his senses. Btw... I hope uve not acted far off Cos in my own case... I took the blame of negligence.... I had grown up shit to cater for sad
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 8:33am On Jun 28, 2021
Styluss:
please be safe...stressing yourself is not worth it. I believe he'll come to his senses. Btw... I hope uve not acted far off Cos in my own case... I took the blame of negligence.... I had grown up shit to cater for sad
I acted unnecessary drama thrice. He doesn't like that.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Styluss: 8:43am On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:
I acted unnecessary drama thrice. He doesn't like that.
grin grin grin I realised they value peace more... Mine was just negligence and a lirru touch of drana grin
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 8:46am On Jun 28, 2021
Styluss:
grin grin grin I realised they value peace more... Mine was just negligence and a lirru touch of drana grin

yeah
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Klass99(f): 8:50am On Jun 28, 2021
smiley

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Dailyparrot: 10:38am On Jun 28, 2021
Klass99:


Lol.

At the bolded parts, I am curious about you too, how did you get to see a beautiful Nairaland female for the first time?

@Oliviajones, is this your first break up in life? If it is I'll understand all your drama but if it's not you need to get a grip and get it real fast.

Reality check - you may never get back together and right now you should focus on recovery, your personal recovery and not focus on winning this guy back at all cost.

Do this IF you want to heal and recover fast - cut off all contact and communication, don't even text or call on birthdays, no checking up on him and no stalking him on social media platforms to see what he is up to. Do not respond to his texts or calls either, block and walk!




You drew my attention to check her out. I wouldn't have done that.

The not so beautiful ones I've seen are those that I've had business with. I don't go about checking profiles with the F tag as majority are males.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by SportsHD: 11:24am On Jun 28, 2021
Dailyparrot:


For the first time I've seen a beautiful nairaland female even though I don't take camera beauty very serious.

But, do you go about checking the profile of any female moniker that drops comment here? Just curious how you got to see her picture undecided
I just stumbled on the profile
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by CHoccolaTE: 11:52am On Jun 28, 2021
KimberlyWest:


You need help!

I hope this is online cruise, because if you have this much hatred towards Nigerian girls, including your siblings and female relatives, you're going to age faster than the speed of light. I can only imagine how much your skin has wrinkled from all the hate and misogyny filling your mind. Purge your mind, bro.

He probably hates females because one girl refused to sleep with him or date him.

He will not see his fellow males that are killing innocent people left and right and raping children and kidnapping and scamming hardworking Nigerians. The idiot will not direct hatred to his fellow males in spite of all the destruction and mayhem they cause on a daily basis.
No.
He wil rather hate girls because they refused to acknowledge and submit to his erection.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Nobody: 12:03pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


I wish it was so easy. I have a job. I'm doing very okay financially. I'm working on my flaws. He's not the bad guy. He was very good to me. How can someone just fall out of love so easy like I didn't mean anything? Silent treatment for someone who is wishing me a better man and the best in my next relationship? He just doesn't want me and my heart is yet to accept that.
why did he breakup with you ?
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Kriss216: 12:13pm On Jun 28, 2021
CHoccolaTE:


He probably hates females because one girl refused to sleep with him or date him.

He will not see his fellow males that are killing innocent people left and right and raping children and kidnapping and scamming hardworking Nigerians. The idiot will not direct hatred to his fellow males in spite of all the destruction and mayhem they cause on a daily basis.
No.
He wil rather hate girls because they refused to acknowledge and submit to his erection.
If not foolishness, why will they refuse to submit to my erection since that's the only thing they can offer?

3 Likes

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Xmen149(m): 12:23pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


I am.

Thought as much,know this: everyone deals with anger differently. If you brought the problem.. allow him handle his anger.. chip in a message after 3weeks and if no good reply on the relationship delete him from your memories learn from your mistakes then move on.

But if what you did is cheat(as you have refused to say) then move on and let him be please.Good people don't deserve torment
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 12:35pm On Jun 28, 2021
Xmen149:


Thought as much,know this: everyone deals with anger differently. If you brought the problem.. allow him handle his anger.. chip in a message after 3weeks and if no good reply on the relationship delete him from your memories learn from your mistakes then move on.

But if what you did is cheat(as you have refused to say) then move on and let him be please.Good people don't deserve torment

I didn't cheat. It was just a behavior issue he couldn't deal with.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Xmen149(m): 12:59pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


I didn't cheat. It was just a behavior issue he couldn't deal with.

Cool,.then you have to let him go,delet his contacts and Ghost off.

Little lecture: in a serious relationship there is : DEAL BREAKER and DEAL MAKERS and MANAGEABLE TRAITS for each of the parties involved.

This is why communication is important so you Dont end up spending years were you will eventually not be needed else you plan on hidding your traits and deceiving your opponent.

From beginning: you will look out for deal breaker first(yes be that selfish).if you possses your opponents deal breaker just quit..If he posses yours just move on.

Manageable traits are the ones two of you can work together and work your ways around.

While deal maker can be endless and includes those things that attracted you to the person in first place.

You posses his deal breaker (which he mistakes as manageable trait).

Profile your next relationship b4 giving it your all and communicate with your partner to be sure of what's in their head(use questions like: what do you like,what do you hate,favourite colour etc).

Sorry to say: you possess your partners deal breaker. It will never work (you will always appear to be at fault,worst case you will hide it,but it will always show once in a while).

MOVE ON!!

**Important:

Don't creat avenue for further communication with him ,you will simply turn besty..and yea besties are fvck buddies and will stunt your growth in next relationship
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 1:19pm On Jun 28, 2021
NoApology:
We've all been there at some point in our lives. I hope the ordeal doesn't leave you cold like it did many of us.

In the end they are just feelings. They'll surely go away.


My advice is go through this pain and heal because it is inevitable, no matter how much you try to avoid it.

Are these memes from a movie? This guy (funny I don't know his name) is one of my my favorite actors.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 1:25pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:
He broke up with me over a month ago. We still talk because I keep trying to convince him why we should get back together but he'd rather we remain friends. I've begged, I've cried, I promised changed attitude.
I get panic attacks at night, I can't cope properly during the day. I had built my life around him.

I can't do the no contact thing because I fear he'd forget about me and move on. Please talk to me. This is the worst I've felt.


If this post of yours hits FP, what are the odds that he'd read it and know it's you? If he does, you'd have succeeded in making him more resolute in his decision to walk out of your life for good.

I don't know what the issues were that made him reach that decision but I can guess, from what you have communicated that obssessiveness and possessiveness definitely played a huge role.

You need to let yourself heal. I know you don't want to hear this, but see this letting go process as the necessary step you need to make to help yourself become better for you and for building healthy, non toxic relationships.

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 1:34pm On Jun 28, 2021
Kriss216:

Doctor advised I stay away from Nigerian girls. Effective remedy.

LOL. She sure did you in, it's the sarcasm for me... Continue your female bashing cruise, I think it helps you heal. LOL.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Lostchild(m): 1:59pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones
You are still too foolish to understand that you can't force someone to accept you.

Your over begging him will only strengthen his ego.

He may also have a good reason for him letting you off. Just move on and work on yourself

Dont forget; be proud of yourself
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by NoApology(m): 2:58pm On Jun 28, 2021
HRSweetness:


Are these memes from a movie? This guy (funny I don't know his name) is one of my my favorite actors.


Yes. That's peaky binders. You should watch it wink
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by waywardpikin: 3:24pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:
I acted unnecessary drama thrice. He doesn't like that.

I knew it would be something like this. What do you guys gain from formenting trouble unnecessarily? It's not every guy that has time to be saying "sorry, sorry" and petting you like a baby over frivolous things.

You don't have to start drama to add a little spice to your relationship, not every guy is cut out for childish stuff like that. I had to break up with someone back in February because of this issue of creating unnecessary drama. I be lover boy agreed, but there is only so much nonsense I can take.

When we broke up e be am like film, and it was even more shocking to her that I refused to take her back.

Let's even thank God that you were able to admit the rubbish you did that led to the breakup, because most of y'all won't admit to anything.


My point? Y'all should dial it down!

3 Likes

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 3:25pm On Jun 28, 2021
NoApology:



Yes. That's peaky binders. You should watch it wink

Many thanks.

2 Likes

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 3:33pm On Jun 28, 2021
Charlex23:

Of course people tend to fall out of love for no just reason.it happens, maybe what he had for you was infatuation anyway . It could also be possible that he's just going through a phase. But all the same let him be. That's humans for you always inconsistent

Oga, you don't know what the guy saw that made him run lipsrsealed. Smart decision if you ask me.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 3:43pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


Yeah he said he wants space and time. I think I should give him that now because my pleadings aren't doing much. If anything, it's pushing him away. Will he come back after thinking things over? We had a beautiful thing going.

He will ONLY come back when he can trust that you have dealt with your anger issues and immaturity. Tough advise sis.

Truth is, you had a fine young man, which is an exception to what we have these days. I mean, you're on NL, take a look around you.

He won't listen to you cos this is not the first time you've messed up and apologized, so now he don't trust you no more.

You have to earn his trust again and to do this, genuinely work on your insecurities and give him the MUCH NEEDED space he's asked for.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 3:53pm On Jun 28, 2021
HRSweetness:


He will ONLY come back when he can trust that you have dealt with your anger issues and immaturity. Tough advise sis.

Truth is, you had a fine young man, which is an exception to what we have these days. I mean, you're on NL, take a look around you.

He won't listen to you cos this is not the first time you've messed up and apologized, so now he don't trust you no more.

You have to earn his trust again and to do this, genuinely work on your insecurities and give him the MUCH NEEDED space he's asked for.

I've heard you. I understand. Thank you
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 3:59pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:
I acted unnecessary drama thrice. He doesn't like that.

See... I didn't even see this response before I knew exactly what happened.

Search for my comments on this topic and take it if you really want results.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 4:04pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


I've heard you. I understand. Thank you

Awww you're more than welcome.

Now you have to deliberately take on activities that'd replace whatever reminds you of him.

Where's your location?
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 4:07pm On Jun 28, 2021
HRSweetness:


Awww you're more than welcome.

Now you have to deliberately take on activities that'd replace whatever reminds you of him.

Where's your location?
-----
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 4:25pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:

Bleep

Bummer... If we were in the same location, I would have gone out of my way to do the unusual by connecting with you cos I can tell that you're actually a sweet girl.

Sis, you're going to have lots of private messages as a result of this post, especially since you've revealed you're financially well off!

Trust me, don't take the messages from the guys seriously, cos it's those boys that pretend to be alpha males on here that'd be all over your PM clowning themselves LOL. (I know they'll come for me for exposing them, but like Buhari, I no send)

Infact, if you find any interesting message, take your time and research the person's history on NL before engaging in any form of convo.

You need to create emotional distractions so you can slowly get your mind off le boo but be careful to avoid entanglements cos you're really vulnerable right now.

Are you sociable?

MODIFIED

just saw you edited your location, will do same.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 4:34pm On Jun 28, 2021
HRSweetness:


Bummer... If we were in the same location, I would have gone out of my way to do the unusual by connecting with you cos I can tell that you're actually a sweet girl.

Sis, you're going to have lots of private messages as a result of this post, especially since you've revealed you're financially well off!

Trust me, don't take the messages from the guys seriously, cos it's those boys that pretend to be alpha males on here that'd be all over your PM clowning themselves LOL. (I know they'll come for me for exposing them, but like Buhari, I no send)

Infact, if you find any interesting message, take your time and research the person's history on NL before engaging in any form of convo.

You need to create emotional distractions so you can slowly get your mind off le boo but be careful to avoid entanglements cos you're really vulnerable right now.

Are you sociable?

MODIFIED

just saw you edited your location, will do same.


You're very kind. Thanks a lot smiley.

I'll just talk to some people in real life and throw myself into work to keep busy. Yes, I create time for fun.

Hopefully, I get over this phase quickly and God willing, he doesn't meet someone else. Because it's a possibility.

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 4:51pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


You're very kind. Thanks a lot smiley.

I'll just talk to some people in real life and throw myself into work to keep busy. Yes, I create time for fun.

Hopefully, I get over this phase quickly and God willing, he doesn't meet someone else. Because it's a possibility.

Emotions aside, can you really tell if he was into you?
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Oliviajones(f): 4:57pm On Jun 28, 2021
HRSweetness:


Emotions aside, can you really tell if he was into you?
Definitely

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Saintmary(f): 5:05pm On Jun 28, 2021
Vision101:
@Saintmary

Modified:
And next time, be stingy with sex, very stingy. E get why.



@me
Will it change anything? Not in this era where ladies are stranded and there is fierce competition among them for eligible men.

Your information is wrong, eligible men and women full ground. Maybe you're in a village sha.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Saintmary(f): 5:06pm On Jun 28, 2021
muller101:
What else can she offer apart from sex.

I don't know

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