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I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 5:16pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:

Definitely

If you're really certain of this, give him time. Stop all forms of communication to enable you detach emotionally, then engage in platonic conversations, when you're sure you're completely sorted.

He needs time and he needs to know he can trust you again.

By the way, we can chat on NL, whenever you feel like it. Just tag me okay...

You'll be fine babe.

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Mrsoft3(m): 5:20pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:
He broke up with me over a month ago. We still talk because I keep trying to convince him why we should get back together but he'd rather we remain friends. I've begged, I've cried, I promised changed attitude.
I get panic attacks at night, I can't cope properly during the day. I had built my life around him.

I can't do the no contact thing because I fear he'd forget about me and move on. Please talk to me. This is the worst I've felt.



Is he your first relationship?

What caused the break up?

How sure are you he is the one for you?

Since is absence what value is missing in your life?

Do you have a vision and focus? Does he fit into this vision of your life?

Those questions are personal you should answer. We are humans and we have emotions, it hurts when people we love so dearly tend to walk away from us. But then we should first respect decisions because it takes two to agree before they walk together. If he is not in agreement with you give him space. Trying to show a guy heeams everything to you makes him careless about you. Try and sustain a level of restraining your emotions at this time.

A man can be going thru phase and needs a personal time.
A man can be tired and not see the future with you and call it quit.

But I assure you if it's meant to be it definitely will happen.

So at this time try building other habits, avoid listening to breakup songs and messages. You ladies can be funny at times by doing this this and it will make you more prey for some opportunist.

Go to God more,he won't break your heart I gurantee you.

4 Likes

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Mrsoft3(m): 5:24pm On Jun 28, 2021
HRSweetness:


If you're really certain of this, give him time. Stop all forms of communication to enable you detach emotionally, then engage in platonic conversations, when you're sure you're completely sorted.

He needs time and he needs to know he can trust you again.

By the way, we can chat on NL, whenever you feel like it. Just tag me okay...

You'll be fine babe.


Have been following your advice to the lady, I love your maturity. It's top notch
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Nobody: 5:32pm On Jun 28, 2021
Klass99:


Hmm.....okay, but open your mind to this possibility. You may become a booty call to him especially if you cheated and your infidelity is the cause of the break up, men rarely forgive the infidelity of a woman.

If or when he contacts you, if the conversation is not about sitting down to see if you can resolve your issues and mend your relationship but it's more about sex, you're a booty call.Don't let yourself be used that way.


How you doing Klass Kaptain?

I follow your posts recently. They always make a lot of sense.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 5:32pm On Jun 28, 2021
Mrsoft3:



Have been following your advice to the lady, I love your maturity. It's top notch

Well... Thank you Sir! smiley we try...

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Klass99(f): 6:11pm On Jun 28, 2021
smiley
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Vyolet(f): 6:38pm On Jun 28, 2021
I've never been there, I can't relate.
How can you build your life around a man that you are not even married to?

1 Like

Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 7:15pm On Jun 28, 2021
Klass99:


cheesy I enjoyed reading this. Seven blessings to you!

But, you will make the nasty elements on this forum to start deleting their history/footprints in a bid to make a first good impression. grin

LOL. Would you delete your posts? Not insinuating you nasty oh lipsrsealed

And why seven blessings? Oh! I get it, one for each day of the week right?
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by mariahAngel(f): 8:21pm On Jun 28, 2021
Vyolet:
I've never been there, I can't relate.
How can you build your life around a man that you are not even married to?

I presume that the op is a very passionate person.
People like that are not lukewarm, and when they love, they love hard.
It takes a strong person to contain them.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 8:28pm On Jun 28, 2021
Kriss216:

Be stingy with sex

She's a Nigerian girl. What else will she be offering the guy? Long life
grin
And prosperity...
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Jethrosam(m): 8:29pm On Jun 28, 2021
Its gud to be heart broken than for u to be 6ft under the ground.find something meaningfull to bring out of the heart breaking.and later look back and appreciate god.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 8:38pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


He doesn't even want sex. I'd give him that if that's what it takes.
No dear, sex can't keep a man even though we like it...

It's your character...I mean good character that can tie a man down....With good character, sex is a pleasure for u and him and not a tool to make him want u...

Dignity of a woman, na husband weh marry her..But real beauty of a woman na good character...

No mata how beautiful a woman is, someone is tired of seeing her unclothedness....But no man will get tired of your good character...
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by mariahAngel(f): 8:41pm On Jun 28, 2021
Oliviajones:


I didn't cheat. It was just a behavior issue he couldn't deal with.

Believe me, he isn't the man for you. You're simply not compatible.
When the man for comes, that fire in you that drove your ex away will be what drives the one for you crazy. Believe me!

All you have to do is respect people, be fair, don't look for trouble, and be yourself.
(Respecting people is what you really need to work on)
Always stand up for yourself regardless!
Speak when you need to speak! Do it with class! (We can't all be quiet)
Be silent for no one!
You don't have to be what/who you're not just for someone to "love and accept" you. No! You're good enough.
You're just a passionate person and you can't change that, so own it!
Use your energy positively.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 8:44pm On Jun 28, 2021
SportsHD:

Woe betide the girl that broke you. Damn! grin
Hahahaha...
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 8:47pm On Jun 28, 2021
Kriss216:

Doctor advised I stay away from Nigerian girls. Effective remedy.
Hahahaha...grin
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 8:49pm On Jun 28, 2021
mariahAngel:


As hard as this may seem, cut off all forms communication with him.
The more you're connected to/communicate with him, the harder it becomes to let go.
Hehehehe....oooh!!!

Never easy at it sounds.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 8:55pm On Jun 28, 2021
crackhaus:

I'm going to take your post serious for a few
minutes because honestly, I think you're just catching cruise.

Regarding the bold text, that's the MO of a guy who is dating/sleeping with another chic.

I shouldn't be exposing this format on a public forum and spoiling work for my brothers-in-arms grin but do your investigation... Your bobo is already involved with someone else and the excitement of that new fling is making him confused.

If you're lucky, he'll get over the excitement quickly and remember you...might even come back begging.
But if you're unlucky, you will see his wedding invitation on FB within the next 6months.
Nawa for you o....
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by mariahAngel(f): 8:56pm On Jun 28, 2021
Munzy14:

Hehehehe....oooh!!!

Never easy at it sounds.

Never easy, but not impossible. Trust me.
She just needs to channel all that emotion/energy somewhere else.
One should never beg for love.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 9:01pm On Jun 28, 2021
mariahAngel:


Never easy, but not impossible. Trust me.
She just needs to channel all that emotion/energy somewhere else.
One should never beg for love.

Sad but true....loving happens naturally, and it's a process....

For her to beg, something happened...It is not ordinary.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by abidem4real: 9:12pm On Jun 28, 2021
Kriss216:
That's good.

I love seeing Nigerian girls in this situation. It gives me joy. It makes me have faith in restoration of brains for SIMP.le guys.


If you're a lady here, you've gone through heartbreak or you're going through heartbreak, DM me.







I want to scatter that heart kpata kpata cool
Guy, ti a ko ba gbagbe oro ana, a kii r'eni ba sere naw! Honestly, if we real and good men think about how we've been unreasonably and callously dealt with emotionally by the beasts called women, we would want to shoot them at sight.
But, we have to take solace in the fact that they(women that abandoned us) have always regretted their actions after meeting with their waterloo occasioned by Carma.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by mariahAngel(f): 9:20pm On Jun 28, 2021
Munzy14:

Sad but true....loving happens naturally, and it's a process....
True.

For her to beg, something happened...It is not ordinary.

I think it has to do with her temper/outbursts...that is if she's the same person that shared her story before.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Klass99(f): 9:32pm On Jun 28, 2021
smiley
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Vyolet(f): 9:36pm On Jun 28, 2021
mariahAngel:


I presume that the op is a very passionate person.
People like that are not lukewarm, and when they love, they love hard.
It takes a strong person to contain them.
True though, I understand that we are wired differently.
I hope she learns her lesson moving forward, if a man doesn't love you, there's nothing you can do about it.
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Munzy14(m): 5:49am On Jun 29, 2021
mariahAngel:

True.



I think it has to do with her temper/outbursts...that is if she's the same person that shared her story before.
You see that bolded, I have walked out of relationship because of that...A huge turn off..One minute a lady is cool and all sweet, next minute she change am for you...It doesn't make sense at all...A woman is naturally a water/care giver, that calms difficult situation...

To be honest, if a lady does that outburst stuff, I will be like OP's boy friend..
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Fiscus105(m): 6:26am On Jun 29, 2021
Saintmary:


He's had you, you're no longer new to him.
That's what we call see finish.
If you love yourself, cut off all contact with him, dust yourself up and meet a new person.
If you talk to him, he'll only manipulate you into giving him free sex, you can never win that game.

Moveeeeeeee on.

Modified:
And next time, be stingy with sex, very stingy. E get why.
..

Going by ur logic

I guess she would still be stingy even after marriage, abi if a man sex in marriage ,won't he tire of sex too? and after several sex wont he start showing negative atitude?
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 7:54am On Jun 29, 2021
Klass99:


Nah I won't delete my posts cos I'm not one of the nasty male elements nor am I looking to hook up with the OP.

Lol grin you're obviously not a fan of the hit series Game of Thrones. Seven blessings was a popular phrase/greeting used in the movie.

But, I like to use it as a way of hailing someone for a really good or very sensible post.

Your take on the phrase is cool as well, there are 7 days in a week so yeah one for each day.

LOL. I actually watched game of thrones for the first time during the lock down.
Was under aged before then so couldn't watch so my innocence won't be snatched from me.

You not nasty? that's an unpopular opinion lipsrsealed
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Raalsalghul: 9:14am On Jun 29, 2021
Kriss216:

Be stingy with sex

She's a Nigerian girl. What else will she be offering the guy? Long life

Lol!

This guy. cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy grin grin grin
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Klass99(f): 9:42am On Jun 29, 2021
smiley
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 10:32am On Jun 29, 2021
Klass99:


Lol grin, where did you get that impression from?

Truth is, I have a very low tolerance for BS and I don't suffer fools easily. I can be nasty and have been when dealing with some cunts and pained black simps on this forum, but I'm not one to throw the first punch.

I usually respond to people the way they treat me, quote me with nastiness and I'll hit you back with your dose of medicine, be civil and I'll reciprocate, if you're intelligent and fun with your thoughts/words I'll most likely want to engage, quote me with shallowness or stupidity and I'll ignore or not ignore, depending on my mood.

I don't go out of my way to be actively nasty to others, but give me a reason and I will. @Olivia, how are you doing and where's your heart at today?

LOL. I think I find you interesting... For now maybe tongue

You can be brash in responding without going as low as using the gutter lingua like what I boldened above.

Plus your general perception of the Nigerian females which is obviously borne out of a faulty and ignorant statistics puts you on the pedestal labeled nasty element tongue lipsrsealed
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by Klass99(f): 10:42am On Jun 29, 2021
smiley
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by HRSweetness(f): 10:50am On Jun 29, 2021
Klass99:


Lol, whatever you say. I can't help the lingua sometimes. I learnt it from here.

You realize I am female right? So, I don't know what you mean by my general perception of women being faulty and borne out of ignorant statistics

I don't realize you're female. Trans maybe but definitely not female.

Let's say I indulge you and agree you're female, does the way you see yourself make you an authority in accurately describing the female gender?
Re: I'm Going Through A Terrible Breakup. Please Advise. by bukatyne(f): 12:43pm On Jun 29, 2021
KimberlyWest:
Sorry about your breakup.

You're scared he will move on? Wow! That's serious. If you ask me, I'll say let him move on. If it's meant to be, it will.

Delete his number. Stop all forms of communication. Trust me, you'll only hurt for a week, and then you'll start to feel better. Try meeting new people, too.

The issue with most of us is, even when something is clearly not working, we find it difficult to accept the reality. We keep praying and wishing that things would be different. Or he'll wake up one morning and realize you're the best thing that ever happened to him. It doesn't always work that way. Let him go!

Hurt for only a week ke?

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