[quote author=bigpicture001 post=103379962]Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

Eh poster I don’t joke with my Parents and Siblings I cannot love them less.

What actually do you want from your gf? Personally i think a gf/wife should be for sex and procreation, no stringe attached. People should stop going into relationship with their whole being. People should stop EXPECTING in a relationship. Just look at OP.

See this Op that is in love, and u really expect your gf to love you in return after u have sacrificed ur time, attention and resources for her?...noooo, it doesnt work that way. See the girl in question doesnt love you as much as u love her. And u have invested in her so much that u are finding it to let go. This is a clear sign my brother. If ur gf really really love you, no one will tell you, you cant just negotiate a true desire, a lady that loves u will always bend to your rule. Even before u say anything u want from her. Shes just using family as an excuse.

When that bf of gf dump you, your family will be waiting to be there for you.

When that marriage even ends, na your family go give you support wey you need.

If you throw them away because of bf, what happens when that relationship or marriage ends?

You'd be left alone, naked in the cold.

One of those people that encouraged me to marry my wife is my mediate brother....he paid large % of my wife hospital bill during her surgery. We got to cow seller, my intention was to pick 100k worth of cow.my brother insisted on 120k, he deposited 40k immediately. My family are very close and we often run business together in some cases

Family love is bae...not all brothers are selfish like you, even the phone am using right now! big bro bought it for me

If you don't like her emotional attachment to her family, why not discontinue the relationship and look for someone who have the same believe system . Your complian is already a red flag. Relationship are entered for each parry to support and encourage each other not to tear apart.

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

One thing I’m sure of is u don’t force ur place in people’s lives u allow them place u there based on how they have GROWN to see u.

The fact ur a brother, lover, potential hubby or whatever doesn’t give any immediate right to all or any privileges or spaces in a persons life, it takes time and consistency.

One thing her family might have over u is consistency even if not generosity. Generosity can stop when certain conditions change bt perhaps she see her family as a more constant security FOR NOW. It can surely change later bt u don’t FORCE it or DEMAND it.

I’m very sure her siblings didn’t put a gun to her head and say make us 1st in ur life or threaten if u don’t make us 1st we will stop being siblings. it DEVELOPED.

And as for the baby she’s just talking, a baby won’t demand to be 1st bt when she sees what she goes through to have a baby nobody will tell her how important it is to her.

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

I don't pity men like you when they have marriage or relationship issues cos you type caused it for themselves...
A girl told you that her family comes first even before her hubby or children, yet because Toto dey sweet you, you no wn leave her and go for someone that would value you and put you in a top most poistion in her life, Tomorrow if you marry her and issues start coming up, you go start Wailing but forgetting that she told you or showed you the signs earlier..
Nonsense...
Premium larger tears awaits you..

Leave the orphan alone in peace

Romanoff:
When that bf of gf dump you, your family will be waiting to be there for you.

When that marriage even ends, na your family go give you support wey you need.

If you throw them away because of bf, what happens when that relationship or marriage ends?

You'd be left alone, naked in the cold.

Your comment deserves a million likes..
Op don't know the psychology at play.. he is willing to detach from his own family but the lady is not, when the relationship or marriage hits the rock, that is when he would know that he is out on the cold...
Dem no dey tellii person..

Romanoff:
When that bf of gf dump you, your family will be waiting to be there for you.

When that marriage even ends, na your family go give you support wey you need.

If you throw them away because of bf, what happens when that relationship or marriage ends?

You'd be left alone, naked in the cold.

The OP never asked his girlfriend to throw her family away. He is only asking for them to allow them start their own family without undue interference. If the family can leave their sister in the cold because she decided to start her own family, then that family is very wicked and selfish.

Op I must tell you I understand perfectly what picture you're trying to paint. Unfortunately, most comments here are skewed towards sentiments. They would never see it from your perspective. Only few would "get it".

wirinet:


The OP never asked his girlfriend to throw her family away. He is only asking for them to allow them start their own family without undue interference. If the family can leave their sister in the cold because she decided to start her own family, then that family is very wicked and selfish.

Let him marry her first.

After that, they can both adjust together. After all, the girl's family won't be living with them.

wirinet:


The OP never asked his girlfriend to throw her family away. He is only asking for them to allow them start their own family without undue interference. If the family can leave their sister in the cold because she decided to start her own family, then that family is very wicked and selfish.

Like I said in my comment above, only few people would know the OP's stance. And you're one of the few.

It takes a stronger attachment to detach from the current subjects.

You can make Her come but can you make Her stay?

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

Romanoff:


Let him marry her first.

After that, they can both adjust together. After all, the girl's family won't be living with them.

Very wrong approach. Why will you advice him to marry a girl who does not see him as the most important person in her life? What kind of marriage is that?

Expecting her to change her attitude just because marriage is like expecting him to stop drinking and smoking just because of marriage

lyndaway:
Family over everything.... family is everything..

Mario Puzo...

Op you’re a selfish human... if Na my sister Godforbid you marry her

Anu

Well, 2pac also said, "Just because a motherfvcker is born into your family, don't me you stay a family."

I understand the fact that the girlfriend is an orphan, often, when a group of people suffered together, the love is always stronger, hence, the OP should know that.

However, the OP shouldn't live his life for his girlfriend.
Move to another woman. Look for someone that will love you.
This your girlfriend can marry her siblings for all she cares, don't make it your burden.

If she's not giving the kinda energy you want, drop her like a bad habit.
This life is too short to make her your burden. After all you're just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Never marry out of pity, and never marry for "sexual love" only.
Because sexual love is ephemeral. And marrying out of pity, is you denying yourself of the happiness you can easily get somewhere else.
Niggá, remain a casual friend and move on, if she still give you her coochie after that while unmarried, hit it like a trailer.

She deserves happiness, so do you.

wirinet:


Very wrong approach. Why will you advice him to marry a girl who does not see him as the most important person in her life? What kind of marriage is that?

Expecting her to change her attitude just because marriage is like expecting him to stop drinking and smoking just because of marriage

If you ask same guy, he will pick his siblings over his gf.

Things should change after marriage. Not before.

If the relationship no cone lead to marriage nko?

If he wants to be the most important person in her life, let him marry her.

All they both need is counselling on how to transition.

Na today woman dey leave family cause of man wey e dey end in tears?

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

Small lover boy lol

Heartbreak will soon return your senses forever.

You are not her kind of man period.

It will shock you to know that your girl Friend can dump you for no reason simply because her elder brother ask her to...
Use your head bro....
I have seen it all.

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

.

It takes maturity to understand your point of view. To those castigating you, leave them, they know nothing.

bigpicture001:
Yes it true that we always claim that family is everything, they will never desert you bla bla bla....but my main question is, is your family always right in taking your top ranking position of importance..?

Many atimes we have heard of family members betrayals just like friends do. We have heard of family abandonment of a sibling, we have seen a lot if times how elder siblibgs jettision youger ones and face thier own life...

My girlfriend is an orphan with four other siblings. Who grew apart in other relatives houses. Everyone is now adult..she cant seem to get over her emotional connections to her siblings, always claming they com first even before her lover or eventual hubby or even the children she will birth...

Looking at the family, I don't even see what is so special a sacrifice they have done for themselves. Example her eldest bro who earns over 600k monthly gave her a paltry 15k for a trip to sokoto for her NYSC. A place she has never been to..this includes t/fare, feeding etc. Her siblings would never feel like being around each other except it calls for a serious Holiday like xmas...there are many more I can't list here.

Wtf! My family have much more sacrifices for each other yet we understood the roles new person entering the family through love have in each and everybody's lives....

People are so two faced in this country claiming family family but dont really care..for the ladies that wil crop up on this thread..first ask yourself how many times have your brother bought you exmas gift or burthday gift before you open ur lieing mouth

Mind you this is not to underscore, the relevance of family bond, but everyone that affects your life should be rightly placed where they importantly belong.

If you are just dating with no serious plans for the future then no shaking. She has told you already that has family will always be first. The warning is very clear so use your tongue count your teeth

Glycosunde:

@Op do what is best for you. Since your relationship is already in the stage of thinking of getting married and she is still like this. You need to ask yourself if you can compete with her siblings for her love. Use your head and not your heart

Sighs.......... Drops pen

Meanwhile..........
What will you be doing as a girl or woman for the next 9months

You can make as much as #1,500,000 (one million, five hundred thousand naira) for being a surrogate mother.

All applicants who are interested to be a surrogate mother should contact me via this number 08085454942 or WhatsApp. And if you also know anyone who is interested, kindly call or WhatsApp for more information.

Note: If you are a man,woman or a couple and you want a child through surrogacy, you can also call me on 08085454942

Just 1.5million only. Absolute nonsense.

bigpicture001:


I found out the hospitals she now goes to for an ailment which is now past tense..its been there, no other person pays that much attention..I check on her tru calla almost every 4hours...I stand by her through thick and thin...

You don't get..I am totally involved in her day to day life..to say she cant do certain things for me cuz am not family is just so disgusting....
Mr. Emotions..who is more emotionally supportive of a lady when in need of it..ur sibling's or ur very loving girlfriend..

Would your adult brother stay days with you in the hospital if you are down..? As compared to ur fiancee..? If no..is she your family memeber yet..?

Guy cease to reason with just emotion..com to reality

The fact ur are trying hard to compete with her siblings is disgusting just because u do things for her. Competing not with her Frnds bt her only family. Emotional connection is not about who does things for u and then demands u listen to them cos of it ok?

It is about who makes u secure.

So if her boss in the office does all these things u listed here including the hospital links he should automatically demand to be more important than her family because of it??

Just listen to ur self?

U don’t have a clue how emotional security and attachment works. It’s not by demanding it like a lecturer.

I have to conclude ur are either a highly insecure or a very selfish and self centered person.

If u do anything for sm1 u record it and can demand their 2 kidneys for it in future because u did what nobody has done b4 4 them?

Listen to ur arrogant self properly. Then look in the mirror.

I don't date first born ladies o.

quote author=Nwodosis post=103380013] You are not a good person, a family that you are yet to be officially part of, you want to break the family love bond! You are materialistic and selfish but love is not about materialism and selfishness.[/quote]

Amateur one sided response (15% mards)

Cunnilingus:
Omo allow her love her Family. My wife knows I don't joke with my parents and siblings.

Well said (55.5% mark)

You want her to detach from her family and get attached to you. Well for me family is everything no matter what. Because you can't love your family and tell another person not to... As an orphan that bond ought to be there. So relax and allow her to be till you marry her.