you still havent told us the problem , because i dont see any problem or issue in this ur first post

abeniagbon:
It is very annoying to see woman trying to put mouth in men's business and investment.

I don't know know if one need to carry them along. But most time they want their wishes granted against man decision.

I don't know if I am the only one experiencing this.. what actually happen is I have a bus and my wife ask me to sell it on scrapt and give her the money to start up business... I told her we can still fix the bus and get it back to normal. But it sound very unpleasant to her...

Now if I intended on selling the bus while she start up a business..the next is is that you see her family kepp asking her for help and assistance before you know the whole money will be mystery.

Kindly advise:

abeniagbon:
It is very annoying to see woman trying to put mouth in men's business and investment.

I don't know know if one need to carry them along. But most time they want their wishes granted against man decision.

I don't know if I am the only one experiencing this.. what actually happen is I have a bus and my wife ask me to sell it on scrapt and give her the money to start up business... I told her we can still fix the bus and get it back to normal. But it sound very unpleasant to her...

Now if I intended on selling the bus while she start up a business..the next is is that you see her family kepp asking her for help and assistance before you know the whole money will be mystery.

Kindly advise:

How much do you think the bus needs to be back to business

What kind of business does she wants to do incase you sell the bus

What's your other plans with the income from the sales assuming you are not going to give her the money

When it comes to business or money or machine meant for business

You are the one to decide because it is something you will understand better and the cross is for you to carry

She needs something to do, two of you can seat down and dialogue on what business to do and what the profit will be used for

That alone will scare her from spending all on her family

StreetFight:


Shove your 2 cents in your pants. Daughters of Jezebel. Birds of the same feathers.

Is it to hard to say your view without insult? Now that you have insulted me what's your contribution?

the problem some men have is that they always table their issues and matters to their wives and ask for opinion , when the woman now gives her opinion which may be contrary to the man position , then wahala starts . and most of the time these women are just been over protective of their husbands , if you look deep down in their hearts , they just want the best for the man and the family but we are two different people and we may both have the same objective but different approach

LadyRosa:


Stand by your word. But... Repair the bus immidiately and start running it so you can raise money and give her.

Kolojadeen:



She does not need to poke into matters before she gets to know everything the husband is doing.
she need to calm down, display a good level of trust {in-sincerity} and over time she will be the chief Director of the marriage.

I agree with you on this, I wish she could see this

Dahreformer2666:


Not surprised this coming from you at all, afterall that's what women do, always ready to spend

If in all I wrote you saw only bad stuff you may as well change your glasses

Telm her lies .. nosy woman

One Goldberg for you...You own will be at the back afterwards...

HarunaWest:

You said you have a bus next thing you said is we can fix the bus. The bus is your property not hers'. Learn to keep secrets, seems you talk too much. Just give women little details thats all. Once you want a woman to give her opinion or advice regarding pecuniary interest, she immediately vests her own gain on the forefront.

No matter how you love your wife or how nice she is don't make that mistake of telling her everything. E get why.

She shouldn't tell me everything as well. Take for instance I give my parents or siblings money nothing will make me tell my wife, even if I tell her it must not be everytime to avoid problem/jealousy....The day when she go ask you for money to give her family member and you nor get to give her wahala don come be dat. Be very careful with the way you deal with women.

abeniagbon:
It is very annoying to see woman trying to put mouth in men's business and investment.

I don't know know if one need to carry them along. But most time they want their wishes granted against man decision.

I don't know if I am the only one experiencing this.. what actually happen is I have a bus and my wife ask me to sell it on scrapt and give her the money to start up business... I told her we can still fix the bus and get it back to normal. But it sound very unpleasant to her...

Now if I intended on selling the bus while she start up a business..the next is is that you see her family kepp asking her for help and assistance before you know the whole money will be mystery.

Kindly advise:

Indulge your woman on this and live in pain thereafter..
Dem no dey tell man..

HarunaWest:

You said you have a bus next thing you said is we can fix the bus. The bus is your property not hers'. Learn to keep secrets, seems you talk too much. Just give women little details thats all. Once you want a woman to give her opinion or advice regarding pecuniary interest, she immediately vests her own gain on the forefront.

This is not true sir. It depends on the way the both of them relate in the home. I know everything about my husband's income or let me say 80% but trust me we never had issue with finance. Sometimes he comes home bothered but the moment he says whatever that's bothering him, we pull our opinions together and before you know it everything is settled. Some women behave the way they do because their husbands are not open enough so they act based on assumption that he has more even when the husband is dying of financial frustration. We women are good managers when our partners are open to us except a woman that just want to intentionally give her husband headache.

vickydankal:



I never supported the selling of the car, what I'm interested in telling the op is to find out the reason why the wife wants to know everything, maybe because there is communication bridge between them. Besides there's nothing wrong with in laws helping each other in time of need.

Helping each other is not what you wrote or implied. Helping is one thing but entitlement is another

The title given to this thread is not helpful... The OP probably knows what it implies but has not said it all. This is simply a case of a partner not being at the same level or even fundamentally different as far as personal family wealth and ultimately inheritance are concerned.

This sort of wide will be so generous to the detriment of her own children - wrong! Your sibling and family is not as important as the children you brought I to this world - they did not have a choice in that matter...

I know family members that are like this man's wife, even my dear mama... A they do is waste things and efforts and then you have to huddle more to get yourself into what comfortable position you want to be...

The wife is struggling in other ways too but will she listen and see reason? I doubt it! A lot of people do not listen carefully but hear and disregard... I don't waste my time talking and talking to mature people... As they say, half a word is enough for the wise or even go further to say that abo Oro laa so fun Omoluabi...

I don't advice young guys to marry women that didn't have something doing to support the family the reverse is the same.
This is the genesis of your problems.

ruffkenny:
Bro fix the bus and use it for urself to make money,give her the money u only want to give her so she won't have enough to waste on her family, besides once she begins to make money,ur authority as the head will no more be intact..

So some men try to stop their wives from making money of their own so that they (the men) can use their money to have complete authority over her?

No wonder when the tables turn, such families have issues because the woman in turn starts to show her own authority since she's now the one with the money. What a pity!

Passage:

This your view get K-leg. Which of the OP's statement suggested that he leaked a secret or are you judging him based on your own experience?

Oga we have follow plenty woman in this life..Most men became simps cos they let out too much info.
Men are meant to be discreet in nature. It ought to be more action and less talk. But dudes on nowadays gossip and talk too much. They say so much thrash just to impress a lady. Some even sell out their guys cos of a hoe.
I have seen a guy that knelt down and begged a lady after she broke up with him. He was saying all sorta gibberish...

Goldp5988:



Your wife or girlfriend?
If na wife then the Bible says that two shall be one abi?

Na so, only when it concerns money

I for one cannot be in a marriage shrouded in secrecy, as much as i do not like keeping secrets in my home, the final decision lies with the head of the home to make. Just make her know your stand and how you would like your home be ran without been authoritative. You know your wife's weaknesses, remember when the home fails financially, the man is largely blamed, so make the best decision for your home.

Does she not have hands or legs to find money to start up her business
See as somebody had turned OP to a financial slave all in the name of love and "I must get married"
Sell yourself and give her the money sef

Rubbish
Una go just dey give person more and more reasons not to marry...

vickydankal:



I never supported the selling of the car, what I'm interested in telling the op is to find out the reason why the wife wants to know everything, maybe because there is communication bridge between them. Besides there's nothing wrong with in laws helping each other in time of need.

Haven't you ever experience where people will be calling themselves to come and meet you for help. You just help this one.. the next thing you see more and more people coming again for help... Some will come and borrow like 50k upward... Sometime they will tell you there is one business that they are expecting that you should come and borrow them money for the business that once the deal is seal they willr return the money only to see them clubbing with your money.....later when you ask they will say they 419 them... And all sort of shit words...

I'm always concern about her charity stuff....I have test her many times... That she failed to handle money well..
Last time I gave her 10k to hold only to come back to 7.5k then I ask her why did you touch the money and so on...

I easy get annoyed with little or trust and it baffled me.. nothing is easy in this present country... Every penny needs to have a tangible meaning.

I don't take people that bring marriage issues or relationship problems here serious. Don't you have friends? your friends know you and your wife better than anyone on Nairaland, and above all they have context of the situation.

Goldengold2:
This is not true sir. It depends on the way the both of them relate in the home. I know everything about my husband's income or let me say 80% but trust me we never had issue with finance. Sometimes he comes home bothered but the moment he says whatever that's bothering him, we pull our opinions together and before you know it everything is settled. Some women behave the way they do because their husbands are not open enough so they act based on assumption that he has more even when the husband is dying of financial frustration. We women are good managers when our partners are open to us except a woman that just want to intentionally give her husband headache.

It depend on the woman reason faculty. Like my wife case. She always has the zeal to help people. Like the other day , one man send his wife packing only for her to come and tell me that the woman said if she can put one of her bag in our flat. Then I said why do you need to ask me such questions for you know I wouldn't accept. A wife of an area boy... You don't need to come and ask me such questions. what if she has drugs in the said bag... What do you think will happen to us..

To me she doesn't know how mind her business.

melodyogonna:
I don't take people that bring marriage issues or relationship problems here serious. Don't you have friends? your friends know you and your wife better than anyone on Nairaland, and above all they have context of the situation.

Na that one worst ooo... I don't share those thing with friend or neighbor... Cod they will be looking her with such stuff. I prefer to share it here... So I can take one or two things to do... In just trying to ease my mind and seek people opinion nothing more. Thanks anyway

Why marry someone you need to keep secrets from?

Bahamas95:
No matter how you love your wife or how nice she is don't make that mistake of telling her everything. E get why.

She shouldn't tell me everything as well. Take for instance I give my parents or siblings money nothing will make me tell my wife, even if I tell her it must not be everytime to avoid problem/jealousy....The day when she go ask you for money to give her family member and you nor get to give her wahala don come be dat. Be very careful with the way you deal with women.

You get sense.

abeniagbon:


Na that one worst ooo... I don't share those thing with friend or neighbor... Cod they will be looking her with such stuff. I prefer to share it here... So I can take one or two things to do... In just trying to ease my mind and seek people opinion nothing more. Thanks anyway

Nope, not neighbor please, friends, or friend. You must have a tight friend you're real close to, if you don't it's okay though. My point is, no one here knows you, we don't know whether you're actually the wasteful person while your wife is the saver, we don't have enough information except what you tell us so any advice will likely be useless because it won't address the root cause of the problem, again, cos of lack of information. Good luck though, if I'm going to advise sha, if your wife has problems staying on point then perhaps you can open the business for her yourself instead of giving her the money - but then, there's an issue, she'll likely use the proceeds to solve the maternal issues you're worried about instead of restocking - the solution is either trust her, give her the money and pray she proves you wrong or tighten your fists and perhaps bring issues and misunderstanding to your marriage marriage. I'll always go with the first unless the gamble is too costly to risk.

Sell the bus and give her money to start up business, thats a red flag my brother, instead of thinking about both of you she's rather thinking about herself alone as if you dont desire a business of your own, oga take a decision as a man, and its not everything you will have to tell her.

abeniagbon:
It is very annoying to see woman trying to put mouth in men's business and investment.

I don't know know if one need to carry them along. But most time they want their wishes granted against man decision.

I don't know if I am the only one experiencing this.. what actually happen is I have a bus and my wife ask me to sell it on scrapt and give her the money to start up business... I told her we can still fix the bus and get it back to normal. But it sound very unpleasant to her...

Now if I intended on selling the bus while she start up a business..the next is is that you see her family kepp asking her for help and assistance before you know the whole money will be mystery.

Kindly advise:

abeniagbon:
It is very annoying to see woman trying to put mouth in men's business and investment.

vickydankal:

Thirdly, I don't think your wife is interested in knowing everything, it seems you are just secretive with information. You don't give her full details on vital things she should know about. Hence any one she gets to know she wants to influence it to her favor.

In conclusion.
I'm not supporting my fellow woman, I deduce the above from your writeup. My husband tells me everything but at the right time, there are things he will tell me before, during, after or may never tell me sometimes for my own benefit he won't tell me so that I won't act it out ( you know women nah) please be more open with most vital things about you she won't find reason to dig deep.

I tell my wife everything about my financial status and business decisions, no secret. We started everything together from the scratch and I'm still carrying her along 100%. In fact, she just called me to ask about the cooperative loan I told her (before we departed this morning) that I was going to fast track. What's the big deal unless one is a waster of money which you don't want your wife to know about and start asking questions?

Just lost my job
Don't know what to do
Have only 200,000 naira to my name
My roommate is already acting up so I need to leave here
How do people survive this situation

abeniagbon:


Haven't you ever experience where people will be calling themselves to come and meet you for help. You just help this one.. the next thing you see more and more people coming again for help... Some will come and borrow like 50k upward... Sometime they will tell you there is one business that they are expecting that you should come and borrow them money for the business that once the deal is seal they willr return the money only to see them clubbing with your money.....later when you ask they will say they 419 them... And all sort of shit words...

I'm always concern about her charity stuff....I have test her many times... That she failed to handle money well..
Last time I gave her 10k to hold only to come back to 7.5k then I ask her why did you touch the money and so on...

I easy get annoyed with little or trust and it baffled me.. nothing is easy in this present country... Every penny needs to have a tangible meaning.

I'm so sorry that's your predicament. Now I understand. You can't continue giving money to people who only see you as atm or quick way to money. Truth be told, it is not easy for we ladies to detach from family menbers. It took me time before my husband could train me to learn few things. It took close tk a year for me to learn not to, it was painful though, very painful to leave family pressures. But I remember my husband saying I should give him 4 months to open my eyes. These are ways my husband trained me before I could be balance.

1. He controlled 90% of the money (mine and his)
2. He taught me our family comes first before my or his family
3. He also opened my eyes to the fact that much of what my family called family challenges don't exist or exaggerated.
4. He taught me that he didn't marry me to be the Financial savior of my family (its true though but I don't like hearing it)
4. He taught me how to manage money even though he is bad at it. Etc

Today I manage 80% of our income. Sometimes he may want to give my mum 40k I will refuse because giving her that amount will make her be intitled for more later. I'd rather we give her when she is not asking and give her what I decide than what is saying. For my mother inlaw she will never ask for money yes never, though my husband is not aware I place her salary. Due to how I behave towards my mum in money matters my husband sometimes will give her money without telling me. My reason for doing that towards my mum is because my brothers wants to be lazy, only taking from my husband and from what I gave my mun to live big. My husband is younger than my brothers so you can imagine.


Brother sit your wife down as open her eyes as mine was opened by my husband. This inlaw thing is not a one way traffic, either the man gives or the inlaws gives. No law starts that it must be the man.


In conclusion
Talk to madam if you keep giving out what about building other businesses and houses.

theForth:

Na so, only when it concerns money

Kolojadeen:


and every woman need to show the husband what Unbroken INTEGRITY is.....in all ramification and over a good number of years

Over a good number of years? Forever