Love endures all things.
True love never fails.
If your wife is hot then you have to be cool
You have to tolerate.
Your calm and mild attitude or response can change your wife.
That thing that made you fall in love with her and marry her should also help you endure
Last last, put God in your marriage first and everything will be perfect again.
Read God's words constantly and apply it.

Quinex2:
Don't divorce her yet please. Have you considered talking to her about it? I bet you, she might be ignorant of how bad her attitude is, that's why you need call her when she's calm and talk to her. Let her know exactly how you feel about her attitudes. If she persists afterwards, you can then do what you consider to be in your best interest.

talk to her? I don't understand, is she a baby? And you think he hasn't talked to her about it ? It's been on for three years.

GloryAhead:
... sincerely speaking, marriage is sweet, fun, fulfilly. But, u must be prepared i.e. get prepared before relationship, courtship, during marriage..... pls, open ur eyes well o, be sensitive, pay attention to details. 'LOVE' alone is not enough to sustain marriage during rough times, it takes lots of courage, understanding and adequate preparation... Pls note; any exams u adequately prepared for, u don't struggle to succeed.

Thanks

Equity15:
talk to her? I don't understand, is she a baby? And you think he hasn't talked to her about it ? It's been on for three years.

Believe me, what she's doing is not out of place for most women as they resort to verbal abuse when provoked, since they can't overpower the man physically, verbal attack is their defense mechanism. I know no sensible woman will curse out her husband unprovoked. Reason he needs talk to her heart-to-heart to identify what exactly the issue is, that is, if he's yet to do so.

alizma:

Those raised by both parents are not totally excluded. You need to add that men should observe the spread of authority in their prospective in-laws house before they say I do.
If the woman is in charge, the young lady is likely going to see it as a normal thing for her to be in charge.

U are absolutely right!
Had an ex whose parents were still alive and together but the wife was in charge of the family!

GloryAhead:
Not absolute... there are many things ur spouse can do for u, and those mentioned wouldn't fit in....

Absolutely nothing!

Aside sexx which is mutually enjoyed, there's nothing else a woman can offer a man which he can't get from other people.

murphyibiam15:

She's not any psychologist.

you are not far from the truth

murphyibiam15:

You're a weak man then

Yeah, very weak. I can't stand people being hot cos of me.

Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.

I will take this advice serious sir

SpruceMediaNG:





they're just there to punish men

Bad boy you are launching

Oracleforce:
is marriage compulsory?
if you want to live a peaceful and quiet life....abstain from marriage...i'm enjoying my single life till death do me part...
but if you no fit hold body, either you marry or you pay olosho for easing of tension...say no to rape , domestic violence, and all sort of sexual violence.

[size=8pt][/size]

How will you do in old age

Susily:


I thought you said you're a psychologist, simple conversation we're having and you're all emotional

If that's how psychologists behave then no one should pay for their services cos a professional getting emotional makes him/her inept in giving sound professional advice

Lol

MansoryMX:



I understand everything you said. In my own case 3 adorable offspring is in the middle of all this crisis. If a man stands and argues or quarrel with a woman it will lead to fighting and hitting which is usually the mind game of every troublesome woman. Me personally don’t have that time. I married a stubborn woman who has anger issues. She never showed it in 4 years we dated, not once did we quarrel but after two months of marriage everything came out and i almost lost my sanity. She is a good wife, yes. She is th best mother to my kids, yes but she has anger issues. Do i divorce her or repair? What about our kids? Am I ready to walk down that line?

You I hope someone read this. When it comes to marriage love, sex and money isn’t enough. If anyone wants to go into marriage because of these 3 things I just mention then that person is making a huge mistake. Especially love, love is not enough when it comes to why a marriage works

Please educate me!! What are the necessary things to make a marriage work?

I'm asking this question because you said for 4 years you dated your wife she never showed any anger issues while people say we would always see red flags during courtship!

I have a Girl I've been dating for 4yrs now! We do have little misunderstandings once in a while and settle. The thing for now about her I don't like is that she lets little things get to her. For instance you would run to my girl now and complain of how hunger wants to kill you and this my girl fit carry all her money give you! Now since she's always the business type and at the same time waiting for Nysc she spends most of her time making research about possible businesses she can do then one day her brother came in and told her she's always wasting her time every now and then. Next thing she called me feeling bad telling me what the younger brother said soni just have to constantly tell her that whatever anybody does in life there are people who would always talk! The issue now is could there be any other bad side she might have that might spring up after marriage?? Omo I don dey fear this marriage thing!

PLEASE I NEED YOIR ANSWERS!! I DONT MIND CALLING YOU ON PHONE! I have always craved for a successful marriage all my life. I grew up in a loving home where my mum and dad lived a happy life then my mum died and my dad had to remarry Omo my step mum is an amazing woman and supportive but she has anger issues!! And that character almost broke the marriage. Well they've been married since 2005 and I must say my dad patience has been the reason they're still married although truthfully she has reduced her madness but I don't wanna go into that kind of marriage!

Hassanmaye:
How will you do in old age

My old age is planned for. What about you? Or do you think giving birth to children is what will secure your old age...you better re-think again...

Quinex2:
Believe me, what she's doing is not out of place for most women as they resort to verbal abuse when provoked, since they can't overpower the man physically, verbal attack is their defense mechanism. I know no sensible woman will curse out her husband unprovoked. Reason he needs talk to her heart-to-heart to identify what exactly the issue is, that is, if he's yet to do so.

provoke as in how? E no go pass, "oga bought only 2 biscuits for her instead of 10 biscuits like her fellow women husband did"

lordally:


Please educate me!! What are the necessary things to make a marriage work?

I'm asking this question because you said for 4 years you dated your wife she never showed any anger issues while people say we would always see red flags during courtship!

I have a Girl I've been dating for 4yrs now! We do have little misunderstandings once in a while and settle. The thing for now about her I don't like is that she lets little things get to her. For instance you would run to my girl now and complain of how hunger wants to kill you and this my girl fit carry all her money give you! Now since she's always the business type and at the same time waiting for Nysc she spends most of her time making research about possible businesses she can do then one day her brother came in and told her she's always wasting her time every now and then. Next thing she called me feeling bad telling me what the younger brother said soni just have to constantly tell her that whatever anybody does in life there are people who would always talk! The issue now is could there be any other bad side she might have that might spring up after marriage?? Omo I don dey fear this marriage thing!

PLEASE I NEED YOIR ANSWERS!! I DONT MIND CALLING YOU ON PHONE! I have always craved for a successful marriage all my life. I grew up in a loving home where my mum and dad lived a happy life then my mum died and my dad had to remarry Omo my step mum is an amazing woman and supportive but she has anger issues!! And that character almost broke the marriage. Well they've been married since 2005 and I must say my dad patience has been the reason they're still married although truthfully she has reduced her madness but I don't wanna go into that kind of marriage!

You have a case study right under your nose and that case study is your Dad. Bro! the truth is we have two type of women. Quarrelsome, anger or calm. Most times as a man we can never fully know about a woman until marriage. This is the truth we as men don’t want to admit. My wife never exhibited one bit of anger all through our courtship. One tools I use on people aside my wife is that I expect the least from people, that way I don’t expect too much and not get disappointed in full. A woman’s character sometimes is like that of a Lioness with Cubs. I highlighted something you said. “ she lets little things get to her.” That’s an anger factor in a person and not just a woman. People with this character are usually stubborn people who loves to have a pound of flesh back when someone hurts them intentionally or unintentionally. They are usually loving and have a golden heart of giving but once they put on that coat of anger, once anyone flips that anger switch on by accident! All hell will let loose and you begin to ponder if this is same loving person. MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR THE WEAK AND FAINT HEARTED! I will continue to say this because I am in it and I know how it feels. You said your dad’s patience helped saved his marriage to your step mom. That is one of the best tools in marriage. Another important tools is learning to keep mute when angry, learning to ignore words that might trigger you into a beast mode rather listen to her when she is angry. If you are angry and can’t take it, take a walk and listen to some good music. Me personally I read books a lot. I am not saying I don’t get angry, I do. It’s human nature but I keep quiet as much as I can because once you say something nasty to someone you love, you can’t take back your words even if you apologize. Women differs, some are so attentive that if you cut your nails they will notice! My wife is such. She monitors the shit outta me despite 3 kids to distract her attention towards me so I dare not mess up. She will definitely caught my ass! So that aspect is a no no for me. I have friends whose wife don’t know their phone password. Friends whose wife isn’t attentive towards them to know when their husband is cheating on them. Mine will catch me so I don’t do what others are doing because I know it will be the end of my marriage. The girl you are dating right now might be the attentive type or not. That’s for you to find out. For you be to a good man in your marriage even if you marry a quarrelsome or quiet woman. You need learn some things like patience, learning to control your mood, never use abusive words or yell at a woman on your own and build yourself. Lastly never hit a woman, the day you do that you become less of a man and it take a great deal for any woman to forgive you. I don’t know what else to say. Just be good.

MansoryMX:


You have a case study right under your nose and that case study is your Dad. Bro! the truth is we have two type of women. Quarrelsome, anger or calm. Most times as a man we can never fully know about a woman until marriage. This is the truth we as men don’t want to admit. My wife never exhibited one bit of anger all through our courtship. One tools I use on people aside my wife is that I expect the least from people, that way I don’t expect too much and not get disappointed in full. A woman’s character sometimes is like that of a Lioness with Cubs. I highlighted something you said. “ she lets little things get to her.” That’s an anger factor in a person and not just a woman. People with this character are usually stubborn people who loves to have a pound of flesh back when someone hurts them intentionally or unintentionally. They are usually loving and have a golden heart of giving but once they put on that coat of anger, once anyone flips that anger switch on by accident! All hell will let loose and you begin to ponder if this is same loving person. MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR THE WEAK AND FAINT HEARTED! I will continue to say this because I am in it and I know how it feels. You said your dad’s patience helped saved his marriage to your step mom. That is one of the best tools in marriage. Another important tools is learning to keep mute when angry, learning to ignore words that might trigger you into a beast mode rather listen to her when she is angry. If you are angry and can’t take it, take a walk and listen to some good music. Me personally I read books a lot. I am not saying I don’t get angry, I do. It’s human nature but I keep quiet as much as I can because once you say something nasty to someone you love, you can’t take back your words even if you apologize. Women differs, some are so attentive that if you cut your nails they will notice! My wife is such. She monitors the shit outta me despite 3 kids to distract her attention towards me so I dare not mess up. She will definitely caught my ass! So that aspect is a no no for me. I have friends whose wife don’t know their phone password. Friends whose wife isn’t attentive towards them to know when their husband is cheating on them. Mine will catch me so I don’t do what others are doing because I know it will be the end of my marriage. The girl you are dating right now might be the attentive type or not. That’s for you to find out. For you be to a good man in your marriage even if you marry a quarrelsome or quiet woman. You need learn some things like patience, learning to control your mood, never use abusive words or yell at a woman on your own and build yourself. Lastly never hit a woman, the day you do that you become less of a man and it take a great deal for any woman to forgive you. I don’t know what else to say. Just be good.

Thanks for the timely response. All you said won't be taken for granted. Secondly the part I said she takes little things people say to heart is for instance she couldn't go to church last week because all her clothes couldn't enter her cos she has added! So her dad drove off with others now she called me feeling bad that her dad would get home and start saying bad things to her about how she doesn't wants to go to church without trying To understand she that's it's because of the fact she has outgrown her recently sown clothes! Last last , the man came back and didn't even say anything!

More like she gets worried over little things. That's the only issue I've noticed she has.

Secondly, she's the Calm type and even if I cheat she wouldn't know cos she has this 100% trust that I don't cheat( I'm also 95% faithful ) so she doesn't go through my chats like, she has never done that .

Omo abeg I need to call you on the phone , it would be a one time call only it's a promise

lordally:


Thanks for the timely response. All you said won't be taken for granted. Secondly the part I said she takes little things people say to heart is for instance she couldn't go to church last week because all her clothes couldn't enter her cos she has added! So her dad drove off with others now she called me feeling bad that her dad would get home and start saying bad things to her about how she doesn't wants to go to church without trying To understand she that's it's because of the fact she has outgrown her recently sown clothes! Last last , the man came back and didn't even say anything!

More like she gets worried over little things. That's the only issue I've noticed she has.

Secondly, she's the Calm type and even if I cheat she wouldn't know cos she has this 100% trust that I don't cheat( I'm also 95% faithful ) so she doesn't go through my chats like, she has never done that .

Omo abeg I need to call you on the phone , it would be a one time call only it's a promise

To be honest with you I don’t share my contact in Nairaland. What happens in Nairaland stays in Nairaland. I come here to catch cruse a lot and pick one or two wise comments and give mine. You already said thank you the moment you said all I told you won’t be taken for granted. One love bro

MansoryMX:


To be honest with you I don’t share my contact in Nairaland. What happens in Nairaland stays in Nairaland. I come here to catch cruse a lot and pick one or two wise comments and give mine. You already said thank you the moment you said all I told you won’t be taken for granted. One love bro

Appreciated!

Oracleforce:


My old age is planned for. What about you? Or do you think giving birth to children is what will secure your old age...you better re-think again...

I don't want To marry either but after I have All the money, who will inherit the money, what about loneliness

Pecoleee345:

Thanks for this question.....she isn't willing to change infact she compare herself with a neighbor wife that do worst.... that her is small.

Most times I wonder how someone will rain curses on you and blame it on anger

She started with abuses and step up to curses....this days she even dare me to my face.

Better seek for divorce sir, don't waste your time with her. Women plenty and good well bought up women self. Remarry again.

lordally:


Thanks for the timely response. All you said won't be taken for granted. Secondly the part I said she takes little things people say to heart is for instance she couldn't go to church last week because all her clothes couldn't enter her cos she has added! So her dad drove off with others now she called me feeling bad that her dad would get home and start saying bad things to her about how she doesn't wants to go to church without trying To understand she that's it's because of the fact she has outgrown her recently sown clothes! Last last , the man came back and didn't even say anything!

More like she gets worried over little things. That's the only issue I've noticed she has.

Secondly, she's the Calm type and even if I cheat she wouldn't know cos she has this 100% trust that I don't cheat( I'm also 95% faithful ) so she doesn't go through my chats like, she has never done that .

Omo abeg I need to call you on the phone , it would be a one time call only it's a promise

This is not a red flag. She just tends to worry over things but not react violently over things she is not pleased with.

I remember after giving birth to my second child, I added weight and couldn't get anything to wear to church. My husband finished dressing and met me crying. He quietly brought out my box and got something for me to wear. I can't forget that he helped me out instead of seeing me as childish.

Worrying is different from anger issues. I think you have a good woman

salisuammy:

This is not a red flag. She just tends to worry over things but not react violently over things she is not pleased with.

i remember after giving birth to my second child, I added weight and couldn't get anything to wear to church. My husband finished dressing and met me crying. He quietly brought out my box and got something for me to wear. I can't forget that he helped me out instead of seeing me as childish.

Worrying is different from anger issues. I think you have a good woman

Thanks for the response. The reason for my question is that the person I quoted said he dated his wife for 4 years and never saw any red flag of anger so that kind of triggered some fear in me cos I've been reading things about marriage since I turned 18 so many gears ago. I just don't wanna fail in marriage that's why I spend more time listening to married people.

I started to listen attentively when I discovered you were married! And yeah my girl is great!! Thanks I'll wife her the only thing holding me is a stable job!

lordally:


Thanks for the response. The reason for my question is that the person I quoted said he dated his wife for 4 years and never saw any red flag of anger so that kind of triggered some fear in me cos I've been reading things about marriage since I turned 18 so many gears ago. I just don't wanna fail in marriage that's why I spend more time listening to married people.

I started to listen attentively when I discovered you were married! And yeah my girl is great!! Thanks I'll wife her the only thing holding me is a stable job!

Everything will fall into place for you. God bless you both. Also understand that there is no perfect marriage but you guys will do well with understanding and patience.
I have been married for almost 12 years and I won't say we don't have our weak moments but we are both ready and willing to make it work.

salisuammy:

Everything will fall into place for you. God bless you both. Also understand that there is no perfect marriage but you guys will do well with understanding and patience.
I have been married for almost 12 years and I won't say we don't have our weak moments but we are both ready and willing to make it work.

I don prostrate for you finish! I appreciate the kind wishes and prayers! Please don't leave Nairaland! Cos I'll be inviting you for the wedding when the time comes! I appreciate!

lordally:


I don prostrate for you finish! I appreciate the kind wishes and prayers! Please don't leave Nairaland! Cos I'll be inviting you for the wedding when the time comes! I appreciate!

Yipee . I will be glad to attend my brother.

lordally:


Please educate me!! What are the necessary things to make a marriage work?

I'm asking this question because you said for 4 years you dated your wife she never showed any anger issues while people say we would always see red flags during courtship!

I have a Girl I've been dating for 4yrs now! We do have little misunderstandings once in a while and settle. The thing for now about her I don't like is that she lets little things get to her. For instance you would run to my girl now and complain of how hunger wants to kill you and this my girl fit carry all her money give you! Now since she's always the business type and at the same time waiting for Nysc she spends most of her time making research about possible businesses she can do then one day her brother came in and told her she's always wasting her time every now and then. Next thing she called me feeling bad telling me what the younger brother said soni just have to constantly tell her that whatever anybody does in life there are people who would always talk! The issue now is could there be any other bad side she might have that might spring up after marriage?? Omo I don dey fear this marriage thing!

PLEASE I NEED YOIR ANSWERS!! I DONT MIND CALLING YOU ON PHONE! I have always craved for a successful marriage all my life. I grew up in a loving home where my mum and dad lived a happy life then my mum died and my dad had to remarry Omo my step mum is an amazing woman and supportive but she has anger issues!! And that character almost broke the marriage. Well they've been married since 2005 and I must say my dad patience has been the reason they're still married although truthfully she has reduced her madness but I don't wanna go into that kind of marriage!

Yes women change after marriage but in most cases men are the cause. Some women tend to tolerate alot from men while courting or dating but won't let it slide in marriage. So if there's anything you think you're doing and she once complain about it but you're still doing it omo she dey reserve her anger still when you're both married ni o but that won't make her a bad wife as far as you both know how to settle your disagreement when one rises.

IamGreen1:



Yes women change after marriage but in most cases men are the cause. Some women tend to tolerate alot from men while courting or dating but won't let it slide in marriage. So if there's anything you think you're doing and she once complain about it but you're still doing it omo she dey reserve her anger still when you're both married ni o but that won't make her a bad wife as far as you both know how to settle your disagreement when one rises.

Lols that was funny dou thanks a lot

lordally:


Lols that was funny dou thanks a lot

You are welcome

Oracleforce:


Men are not all the same.... some love their peaceful and quiet life than adding some emotional baggage or burden to their lives...and you will agree with me that all women have emotional burdens and baggages.
the major purpose of marriage is companionship and procreation....and for those who want to achieve this purpose in life, they can go ahead and marry but some people think life is more than just procreation and companionship.....

Just like me, if not family pressure I don't want to marry at All please the Nigeria government should enact a law barning forceful marriages

Oracleforce:


Is it compulsory to marry? To avoid other emotional baggage and turmoil, abstain from marriage....period....
Many people have been sent to their early grave because of marriage...but I know the major reasons why so many people are interested in marriage is because of sex or escaping from poverty burden....probably he or she will find a rich dude or lady...

Tueh. ....until we tell ourselves the truth, we will keep having this kind of problem....75 percent of cases treats in Naija court is on marriage separation, divorce, and child custody

But sir what can we do if we don't want to marry

gimakon:
Best you can do now, give her some space. Go some place else. If you have passport, go to a neighborhood country if u can work remotely. You do not need someone who would give you problems, you need peace. You need good thinking, and good aura of a sound mind and above all, you need money. Beating her makes you weak. She'd get used to it. But shame and disgrace is a lifetime injury, it can never heal, and I'm sure she won't want to be laughed at by her peers that she cannot keep her home.

Women are known to behave rudely, and they are wired not to know anything most times. my own siblings at home Even fought me the day I came back from a small travel I did, I bought things for them, they never said thank you, until today! Extent they call me names. I still put food on the table, take care of their children's fees... She be woman, and I have 2 of them like that. But e good, them go think all men be like me, time will tell...
Just leave them, and do not complain. Allow her to reason out things. If she has conscience, she will think back. If she does not, no problems, make she day. Think am well sha

You have patience sir me that a woman was cutting my call I caught of her call talkless of giving her something that she will not say thank you