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Another Marriage About To Crash. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Is It Proper For A Woman To Take A Child(ren) Along With Her To Another Marriage / My Wife Is A Thief & Greedy: My One-Month Marriage About To Crash / My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Romanoff(f): 8:42pm On Jul 16, 2021
murphyibiam15:

You're just becoming active here despite registering since 2019.
Nah. Been here since 2006 actually.

I deactivated the account and opened another one.

1 Like

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by murphyibiam15(m): 8:42pm On Jul 16, 2021
dacblogger:

You're quite rude,I only asked a simple question which you might have lied about in your post.
No wonder your wife is always abusing you.learn how to talk to people,I was only trying to help out
Stop using his words against him, that's not a good thing to do just because he shared his problems here. Nawa for women oo, hian

21 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by murphyibiam15(m): 8:43pm On Jul 16, 2021
dacblogger:

You're not paying me to do jack,so you DNT have the right to order me about.
I was only trying to help but I can see you have serious mental health issues.i will leave you your problems,adios.
You're such a sociopath, no jokes. If you can't help people don't add to their burden

24 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by murphyibiam15(m): 8:45pm On Jul 16, 2021
dacblogger:

You will live long...only God knows what the poor woman is going through in his hands
You're also a bad person, leave that one

13 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by murphyibiam15(m): 9:17pm On Jul 16, 2021
Romanoff:

Nah. Been here since 2006 actually.

I deactivated the account and opened another one.
Okay, cool. Then you must be Atleast 32 years old
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Dalil8: 9:53pm On Jul 16, 2021
dacblogger:
Marriage has its trying times especially in the first 5years...
You already know her flaws,it's left for you to find a way around it.
Dnt leave your marriage cos the devil you know is better than the angel you DNT know.

Shut the hell up woman!

If it was the other way round, you'll call him a woman beater, abuser and advise his wife to divorce him.

Her flaws, her problem. She has no business getting married until she has her shit sorted out.

@Pecoleee345

My advice;

Divorce her and sue her ass for the emotional abuse and the trauma she's caused you. Don't let her get away with it please.....

15 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by pansophist(m): 9:55pm On Jul 16, 2021
If you will be honest with yourself, you will admit that you are responsible for the situation that you are in. There is possibly no way she didn't show these behaviours before marriage, but you ignored and ringed her fingers. So why the shock? Marrying her was you implicitly acknowledging that her behaviours were acceptable. But there is a solution, and it is to divorce her. It is even easier since you do not have a child together.

Women from an existential perspective are weaker vessels, and the characteristic of the weak is exploitation, which she is doing perfectly well. Tolerating, ignoring, and leaving the house, etc won't make her stop her disgusting behaviours, instead, she would double up to determine the extent of the abuse she can get away with, while assured that you will tolerate it from her. It also seems that she does not have any fear of losing you, which is a problem in itself. For example, my spouse may decide that she would torment my life henceforth, but she knows I won't accept it, and that would instantly end our relationship. The fear of losing me is enough deterrent to keep her in check. And for a woman to fear losing you, she needs to see the value you hold.

The battle is usually won before the war, and if you lay your mat right, you won't be passing through these problems at all, since it's a foundational problem by nature. You know your situation better, so go and iron it out. You need to look at things honestly and be sure you want real changes. If there are any bad behaviours that you do to her, and you know to be genuinely wrong, stop it. You can not point fingers at her, while immune yourself from your wrong deeds. And do not relent in those qualities that made you attractive to her, that is what will bring respect, keep her in check, and makes you infinitely attractive. Stay strong.

24 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Emperorlanky: 9:59pm On Jul 16, 2021
Oracleforce:
is marriage compulsory?
if you want to live a peaceful and quiet life....abstain from marriage...i'm enjoying my single life till death do me part...
but if you no fit hold body, either you marry or you pay olosho for easing of tension...say no to rape , domestic violence, and all sort of sexual violence.

[size=8pt][/size]

For your eye you wise like this abi?
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Emperorlanky: 10:10pm On Jul 16, 2021
Yusufisraelj:


Very well then, many will not subscribe to this opinion and would want to argue with it. The clearest sign a person is assisted by a spirit is carryout certain bad behaviors repeatedly is ANGER.

Time will fail me to explain something's here. But if it will please you, send me a direct mail and let me forward a link to you on something very vital.

Your marriage is under attack. That's just the simple truth and no amount of talking can change anything, you need to introduce LIGHT. If you're a Christian it would be most helpful. Enjoy your weekend

Marriage under attack my foot. So who's attacking the marriage. You will start accusing innocent relatives in the village for being responsible now. Go and read about Nabal and Abigail's marriage in the Bible since you are a Christian. Then you will see that nobody is attacking their marriage but the two of them. I don't think the OP is 100% innocent in this case, reason... Proverbs 18:17.

6 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by flokii: 11:44pm On Jul 16, 2021
Truth is most women destroy their homes and marriages with their own mouth.. not saying all are guilty but most cases of divorce result from domestic abuse of the man by his wife.

@OP don't lay hands on her for your own good before Iyabo Ojos will carry your case on their head like gala. If you've warned her several times and she refuse to change, serve her papers and call it quit jare. Peace of mind lo ju.

3 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Babinski: 12:47am On Jul 17, 2021
Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man.....I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I no what bad words can do to people

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses,abuse and threaten to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns


She permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she a woman and am expected not to react because that how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for there father sins.

Better to divorce than to resort to domestic violence. Sometime serious marital counselling and therapy can help if both parties are committed to try and make the marriage work. That is a course of action often missing in our society because people don't want to take private matters out to third parties until it is too late!

1 Like

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Nuwe01: 2:23am On Jul 17, 2021
One thing that annoys me about we Africans is that when your marriage is not working and your partner is been abusive they still expect someone to stay and work things out,till them send person go early grave .
If that marriage is not working for your sanity just walk out of it e no pass like that.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Oracleforce: 6:46am On Jul 17, 2021
dacblogger:

Marriage is not all about sex...companionship is the main purpose.Dnt forgets that.

Men are not all the same.... some love their peaceful and quiet life than adding some emotional baggage or burden to their lives...and you will agree with me that all women have emotional burdens and baggages.
the major purpose of marriage is companionship and procreation....and for those who want to achieve this purpose in life, they can go ahead and marry but some people think life is more than just procreation and companionship.....

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Oracleforce: 6:53am On Jul 17, 2021
Nuwe01:
One thing that annoys me about we Africans is that when your marriage is not working and your partner is been abusive they still expect someone to stay and work things out, till they send person go early grave.
If that marriage is not working for your sanity just walk out of it e no pass like that.

Is it compulsory to marry? To avoid other emotional baggage and turmoil, abstain from marriage....period....
Many people have been sent to their early grave because of marriage...but I know the major reasons why so many people are interested in marriage is because of sex or escaping from poverty burden....probably he or she will find a rich dude or lady...

Tueh. ....until we tell ourselves the truth, we will keep having this kind of problem....75 percent of cases treats in Naija court is on marriage separation, divorce, and child custody

1 Like

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Omoedeki: 8:07am On Jul 17, 2021
Bola146:
Marriage sad angry I don't know why I'm always shocked when I see this word. May we never be victim of bad spouse. If you marry the wrong person, na the end be that lipsrsealed embarassed Lord, I don't pray for a bad man as husband please

Marrying a bad spouse simply means one is completely finished smiley

1 Like

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Kondomatic(m): 8:16am On Jul 17, 2021
chatinent:
Oga,


Inasmuch as I understand some women are very annoying, I must remind you the only ground that's christian for divorce: adultery.


If she's not committed one, you need to work things out.

I have once being in a situation when a girl hit me first repeatedly and still ran telling people I attack and beat her.

BTW, didn't you notice this while courting?
Enyi..... How can two walk together unless they agree? Amos 3:3

You can not practice what is written in a section of the Bible because it suits your interest and ignore other verses.

For instance, the only acceptable ground for divorce in Christiandom is adultery but the Bible stated clearly what the woman and the man should be, their roles and all.

If you are failing this then you don't deserve the privileges of the other.

Is this woman a proverbial woman? Is she submissive as a Christian wife should be? If No then the only acceptable ground for divorce in Christiandom doesn't apply to her.

It is same when a man is the fvck up, you don't love your wife as Christians are mandated to love their wives but you want her to be "a Christian wife", is that not madness?

Finally......
All these questions that you people ask on posts like this one is annoying. Didn’t you see this while courting? Like seriously?

A woman will show you the real her while courting.
The real her pro when married.
The real her pro max when she takes you to court.


No, you cannot see that while courting

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Oracleforce: 9:33am On Jul 17, 2021
Emperorlanky:


For your eye you wise like this abi?

Which kin stupid question this guy dey ask?

How does your question relate to my postulation
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Nobody: 9:55am On Jul 17, 2021
murphyibiam15:
Okay, cool. Then you must be Atleast 32 years old

What does her age have to do with anything?
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by nokspos: 10:04am On Jul 17, 2021
you can take, its cheaper to take...

We can't leave without them, we can leave with them. after 3years of marriage now you can't take it any more. The next woman you will marry do you know what she's made of, just manage her and find a way to make yourself happy.

Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man.....I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I no what bad words can do to people

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses,abuse and threaten to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns


She permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she a woman and am expected not to react because that how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for there father sins.
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Vinane: 10:06am On Jul 17, 2021
Chei
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Afonjashapmouth: 10:07am On Jul 17, 2021
LET ME WALK YOU A LITTLE


A marriage is not a funny journey and to be very honest with you, there is much to give in terms of sacrifices before you start enjoying the dividends. However brother sanity must be protected so as not to evolve into who you are not at the end of the day.

Now to your case.... Training a child by both parents alone can be overwhelming not to mention one. Sometimes they miss out on some key human relationship skills, especially when the relationship between them and the single parent is not so cordial. Some of them grew up with an enabling environment and still want to continue the culture. Now lets talk about you. You cannot always have your way in a marriage so settle for compromise because you mentioned money and trust me that is just a tool to finesse a marriage not what will make it work. LISTEN to what she has to say by keeping quiet even though she says alot ( She might lack communication skill by yelling but still listen ). Add more patience to what you have and on no ground should you be tempted to touch her. Appreciated her with words and try to see how you can fit into what she has missed all her life ( Father Figure). Don't be controlling ( She might never be used to that ). Have conversation instead of arguments and don't talk to counter her suggestion or concerns. Refrain from reporting her to families and friends cos that will always be your conflict resolution spot and your home will be run by people's opinion or decision making you a simp at the end.


Now if you have tried all these & they don't WORK

Go for a therapy session
Learn to ignore in times of crises
Keep to only taking care of your responsibilities as a man and nothing extra
In times of crises get a recording device cos you might be manipulated
Talk to someone who understands how life works for genuine positive advice
Adopt a way to avoid her problem ( Hobby )
Avoid excessive conversation on things or subjects that might lead to the usual
Protect your mental health by not responding verbally
State what you want and stand by it
Make sure you are not cheating or doing some funny things too
Don't dance to her emotional manipulation .... IGNORE cos she knows the pattern to trigger you
STOP REPORTING TO HER FAMILY OR YOURS ( But make sure your parents understands your ordeal)

IF IT IS LIFE THREATNING OR TOO MANIPULATIVE FOR YOUR SANITY BRO LEAVE....


HOPEFULLY THIS STORY IS NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND THOUGH .... Cos nobody hardly blame themselves in time of marital crises

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Elock1: 10:09am On Jul 17, 2021
Stupidquestions:

Very idiotic comment
I concur

Na so one of my female friends post video of a woman slapping her husband multiple times and the simp husband ended up kissing her and embracing her.

Then she captioned it "good men are hard to find".. That thing pain me ehn.. The way I take attack her, say oh na men suppose dy receiving end and women suppose to dy misbehave.

She come dy say I'm not a gentle man and bla bla bla.. To cut the whole story short I just block the idiot.

Respect should be from the 2sides

20 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by TrebleChamp(m): 10:09am On Jul 17, 2021
Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.
Word

1 Like

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Skmoda(m): 10:09am On Jul 17, 2021
Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.
Hmmm!!! I will take a cue from the bolded...
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Nobody: 10:09am On Jul 17, 2021
Physical and emotional abuse has nothing to with the home you came from it’s more of the example that was shown at an early age.

I have seen people because of money turn into beasts ive seen lack also humble people like myself to give more because no matter Wetin Dey for pocket we are blessed when we share

It’s about controlling a person their reactions and their expressions but it’s not possible

Even if them throw you insult laugh or cry…we are all human na only your life you fit control, take or manipulate

Yes I don chop beating but because I also chopped beating growing up it’s really about healing yourself nobody should do that to you and it’s alright but revenge is for the weak we must always move forward. Ok if you beat am Wetin you go gain ?
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by TWLifestyle: 10:09am On Jul 17, 2021
Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Lexusgs430: 10:10am On Jul 17, 2021
Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.


Marriage is not by force....... If it's not working, approach the courts and do the needful.........
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by kingthreat(m): 10:10am On Jul 17, 2021
Bliss955:
Your last statement is wisdom for those who choose to take heed.

My casual female friend was raised by a toxic single mum. But she worked hard to make sure her future children never experienced the ills her father suffered.

2 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by Mutemenot(m): 10:12am On Jul 17, 2021
Your last verse na the koko... My people say *dog wey woman train dey chop egg*

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by kramer: 10:12am On Jul 17, 2021
Bola146:
Marriage sad angry I don't know why I'm always shocked when I see this word. May we never be victim of bad spouse. If you marry the wrong person, na the end be that lipsrsealed embarassed Lord, I don't pray for a bad man as husband please

You should also pray that you do not become a bad woman as a wife too

7 Likes

Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by anselm791(m): 10:12am On Jul 17, 2021
Oya if a woman curses you, you curse her back.
It’s an eye for an eye and not an eye for a kidney please.
Re: Another Marriage About To Crash. by libertyfather(m): 10:14am On Jul 17, 2021
Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.

If only divorce will work,lucky you....such women won't leave cause you are not the one beating her, talking frm experience

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