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Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) - Literature (15) - Nairaland

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Smart Lady Gets Perfect Revenge On Yahoo Guy That Wants To Use Her For Rituals / In - Between ( A Fictional Story) / Life Of A Shy Guy (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by RUGGEDWEAVER(m): 7:45am On Nov 26, 2021
Ride on bro
This tori sweet me...
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 8:46am On Nov 26, 2021
Stupid Bastard i said to myself. After trusting him and letting him into my space, dude went behind and cut my soap. How he knew he could use it to cashout even beats me and the way he went about it. If only he’d asked me, I’d have shown him way and he’d be alive now but fighting his own demons lowkey. Jago brought about his own demise because i no send am go enter my room carry wetin no be hin own. The morning after, i fufiled my promise to Shaggi, told him to lay low until i rang him up again. My clients were responding now, cashout resumed and i was me again.

All my ritual activities was only known to myself, Baba, Baba’s assistant and Shade, Shade had been badmouthing me among her group of friends, Tayo’s roommate probably gave her the intel that me and Tayo dated and She myst have figured her step sister’s death was unnatural and mysterious. Thank God i quickly got wind of the intel and i had to erase the source like an overdo pencil line that was drawn on the notepad. Shade was the Tip of the pencil, she stained my reputation, i was the eraser on top, one pressure slide wiped her neatly off the pad. I was going to call and tell Baba to help me do something about Shady spiritually, but like I said, e just be like say as my mama follow street go, shit gave me a hardened heart. again i didn’t need to call Shaggi too, i had to handle this one myself. But for the time being, Shade was the least of my concern. I was going to take action but not immediately.

A new month kicked the old one out and thankfully it was a month where i wouldn’t bring anything it was a month of spiritual baths and numerous aseje. (That one mean say Jago meat sweet well well and the gods still had enough of Jago) but whatever the devil Gives you, he takes it back in plenty folds and even takes you through things unexplainable but i will explain it!
One of the first things i did that month was to have a bath in a flowing river, (at the stream, i striped, i went into the flowing river which had normal flowing current had it was up to my knees. I was in a kneeling position, (baba then produced a calabash filled with cowries, it was filled with cowries to the brim. He then sand an occultic song for a minute, put the calabash on my head supporting it with his hands sand the same song for a minute then remover the calabash he then went behind me and started sprinkling it till he emptied all the seeds of cowries on me and from my head they all fell into the flowing stream. He took out a couple of new money a wad of one thousand notes and handed it to me, he then gave me a black soap and told me i t was the notes in my hand that I’d use to bath the soap and that as i was bathing if any of it fell i shouldn’t bother about it. I completed the bath and the next thing was back to his coven for the Aseje. for the first time since i had been dealing with Baba, i regretted ever selling my soul to the streets. We got back to the house and Baba and his love-vendor and myself headed through a familiar path and alas we came to the spot Jago was buried and had his assistant dig Jago’s corpse out na so i faint yee Baba no even send, he wake me gimme knife say make i cut meat wey i know say i go fit chop finish commot for the decomposing corpse. I burst into tears and i did it sha i cut am o i cut am.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 8:46am On Nov 26, 2021
Na fiction oooooooo me sef wey dey write am my body dey dum cloth

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by DSC7: 8:54am On Nov 26, 2021
dodoatirice:
Na fiction oooooooo me sef wey dey write am my body dey dum cloth

Bossman give us update wey long like Kilimanjaro Abegggggg......

Lest i forget, you are doing well cool

3 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 8:57am On Nov 26, 2021
DSC7:


Bossman give us update wey long like Kilimanjaro Abegggggg......

Lest i forget, you are doing well cool

Work on it OG

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 8:58am On Nov 26, 2021
dodoatirice:
Morning ‘Update’ boys and girls
remember to update men and women also
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 8:58am On Nov 26, 2021
NoGirlfriend:

remember to update men and women also

Haha

“Men and Women”
Sir
No vex
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Hungerbadoo: 9:03am On Nov 26, 2021
Na wa o
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Horlardorjah(m): 9:08am On Nov 26, 2021
dodoatirice:
Stupid Bastard i said to myself. After trusting him and letting him into my space, dude went behind and cut my soap. How he knew he could use it to cashout even beats me and the way he went about it. If only he’d asked me, I’d have shown him way and he’d be alive now but fighting his own demons lowkey. Jago brought about his own demise because i no send am go enter my room carry wetin no be hin own. The morning after, i fufiled my promise to Shaggi, told him to lay low until i rang him up again. My clients were responding now, cashout resumed and i was me again.

All my ritual activities was only known to myself, Baba, Baba’s assistant and Shade, Shade had been badmouthing me among her group of friends, Tayo’s roommate probably gave her the intel that me and Tayo dated and She myst have figured her step sister’s death was unnatural and mysterious. Thank God i quickly got wind of the intel and i had to erase the source like an overdo pencil line that was drawn on the notepad. Shade was the Tip of the pencil, she stained my reputation, i was the eraser on top, one pressure slide wiped her neatly off the pad. I was going to call and tell Baba to help me do something about Shady spiritually, but like I said, e just be like say as my mama follow street go, shit gave me a hardened heart. again i didn’t need to call Shaggi too, i had to handle this one myself. But for the time being, Shade was the least of my concern. I was going to take action but not immediately.

A new month kicked the old one out and thankfully it was a month where i wouldn’t bring anything it was a month of spiritual baths and numerous aseje. (That one mean say Jago meat sweet well well and the gods still had enough of Jago) but whatever the devil Gives you, he takes it back in plenty folds and even takes you through things unexplainable but i will explain it!
One of the first things i did that month was to have a bath in a flowing river, (at the stream, i striped, i went into the flowing river which had normal flowing current had it was up to my knees. I was in a kneeling position, (baba then produced a calabash filled with cowries, it was filled with cowries to the brim. He then sand an occultic song for a minute, put the calabash on my head supporting it with his hands sand the same song for a minute then remover the calabash he then went behind me and started sprinkling it till he emptied all the seeds of cowries on me and from my head they all fell into the flowing stream. He took out a couple of new money a wad of one thousand notes and handed it to me, he then gave me a black soap and told me i t was the notes in my hand that I’d use to bath the soap and that as i was bathing if any of it fell i shouldn’t bother about it. I completed the bath and the next thing was back to his coven for the Aseje. for the first time since i had been dealing with Baba, i regretted ever selling my soul to the streets. We got back to the house and Baba and his love-vendor and myself headed through a familiar path and alas we came to the spot Jago was buried and had his assistant dig Jago’s corpse out na so i faint yee Baba no even send, he wake me gimme knife say make i cut meat wey i know say i go fit chop finish commot for the decomposing corpse. I burst into tears and i did it sha i cut am o i cut am.

Waw! This is it, na heart him go chop next OH.
He could have lasted longer if he asked for way but greed no make him wait. No r.i.p jargo
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ashatoda: 9:09am On Nov 26, 2021
Guys eyes dey see something this is really scary

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 9:29am On Nov 26, 2021
omo.........OP ride on.

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Holla911(m): 9:33am On Nov 26, 2021
This is more than scary. Anyone who goes through this rituals is no longer a human but a jaded demon.
Sad reality is, this is the realities of a lot of men and women in our society.
Some are people we look in high esteem, not just street hustlers but religion leaders, people in cooperate world, senior civil servants and politicians.
IT'S A DARK WORLD WE LIVE IN. cry

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Kpakam(m): 9:49am On Nov 26, 2021
You av gone too far to back down,at this stage,u can do anytin unless u wan end up like ceeza or pay with ur life
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 10:16am On Nov 26, 2021
so dis guy wan chop dead body meat?
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Sleemdadee(m): 10:31am On Nov 26, 2021
OG if u no wan make me n u get problem, drop me update wey go last me for three days,kos my thirst is unsatisfiable.....

OG!! U r doing well

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by preshman22: 11:16am On Nov 26, 2021
Wahala
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by blesskewe(f): 12:07pm On Nov 26, 2021
Ewwww

Dodo
U are doing welllllllll.....
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by HorlaGuchee: 12:53pm On Nov 26, 2021
Hmmmmmmmm Am short of words right now honestly
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Mummytoo: 1:11pm On Nov 26, 2021
Speechless
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 1:37pm On Nov 26, 2021
At first i cut a small lump, baba looked at me in disgust, gave a very loud his he then ordered his assistant to pass me the axe they’d brought from the coven earlier. He then gave me instructions. He told me to find a way to mutilate the chest in a way that I’d be able to bring out his heart. Tsha tasha tsha tsha a couple of swings i got the heart out. The corpse deys smell like werey.. severed the decomposing head removed his intestine completely and discarded the rest of now unrecognizable parts of him that remained. Reburied the remains headed back to the coven. The heart was Baba cut a flesh from the parts we brough back and use it to prepare a spiritual aseje and he threw the head in a mortar and pounded it until the skull got crushed and meshed if that was the right word. The heart was burned until it turned to black powdery form. The cooked human beef (spiritual food) i ate it and washed it down with a bottle of Gin. (Baba went ahead and told me that i had swallowed a deity. I got back to my ‘Bloddy Mansion’ I wasn’t hungry for close to a week. I was suddenly tired of the life but i was neck deep into it. Cashouts tripled, make i no hustle naya go pay me i know what I’m talking about.

Sometimes when i drove around in my car and saw people that were poor but slept with theor two eyes closed i envied them, if they saw me they’d wish they had my life but I’d see them and wished i had their lives a case of (that position wey you dey, na hin be another man prayer point.if i closed my eyes at night for a second, the nightmare dey always dey frightening. One time i loosegaurded and slept off around 9pm.. in my dream, i saw myself watching people cry from a vantage position. I approached the crowd and saw them laying an individual to rest. I peeped and looked ay who was in the casket and it was me.. the people didnt seem to notice me and what was really disturbing was that i layed there and blood was oozing out from my ear lobes, my nostrils and my mouth. The wool that was used to block those parts i mentioned was blood soaked. I was laid aside and the more they tried to dig the grave, the ground didn’t seem to give way to their digger swings. In my nightmare, the earth rejected my body.

This month’s sacrifice was to have sex with a dead body baba went straight to he point, how he went about the dead body was bribe a morgue attendant in his locality to transport the body to his coven. For 3 days, i was locked up with the lifeless body and could have sex at different intervals with the corpse. My first encounter with the corpse, as soon as baba closed the door behind, i examined the body and this was a corpse of a woman that hd died right after child birth. I looked under her hood and had no choice than to login into the cold lifeless corpse. (Baba already handed me an ointment that I didn’t know if it was actually for lubrication or part of the spiritual thing. In and out, back and forth, the body just layed there lifeless and cold and as soon as i came inside, her pussay gave s loud hiss. ( guess that was a fraction of air that escaped). This went in an in for 3 days and i had to endure the stench, the lifeless sex, until baba opened the door on the 4 day arranged for the return of the corpse and had me wait in his coven.I’d leave Baba’s coven, hit he club partied like nothing happened and even dashed babes money. The truth was i felt i was loosing my mind. But for how long would this continue?

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 2:02pm On Nov 26, 2021
dodoatirice:
At first i cut a small lump, baba looked at me in disgust, gave a very loud his he then ordered his assistant to pass me the axe they’d brought from the coven earlier. He then gave me instructions. He told me to find a way to mutilate the chest in a way that I’d be able to bring out his heart. Tsha tasha tsha tsha a couple of swings i got the heart out. The corpse deys smell like werey.. severed the decomposing head removed his intestine completely and discarded the rest of now unrecognizable parts of him that remained. Reburied the remains headed back to the coven. The heart was Baba cut a flesh from the parts we brough back and use it to prepare a spiritual aseje and he threw the head in a mortar and pounded it until the skull got crushed and meshed if that was the right word. The heart was burned until it turned to black powdery form. The cooked human beef (spiritual food) i ate it and washed it down with a bottle of Gin. (Baba went ahead and told me that i had swallowed a deity. I got back to my ‘Bloddy Mansion’ I wasn’t hungry for close to a week. I was suddenly tired of the life but i was neck deep into it. Cashouts tripled, make i no hustle naya go pay me i know what I’m talking about.

Sometimes when i drove around in my car and saw people that were poor but slept with theor two eyes closed i envied them, if they saw me they’d wish they had my life but I’d see them and wished i had their lives a case of (that position wey you dey, na hin be another man prayer point.if i closed my eyes at night for a second, the nightmare dey always dey frightening. One time i loosegaurded and slept off around 9pm.. in my dream, i saw myself watching people cry from a vantage position. I approached the crowd and saw them laying an individual to rest. I peeped and looked ay who was in the casket and it was me.. the people didnt seem to notice me and what was really disturbing was that i layed there and blood was oozing out from my ear lobes, my nostrils and my mouth. The wool that was used to block those parts i mentioned was blood soaked. I was laid aside and the more they tried to dig the grave, the ground didn’t seem to give way to their digger swings. In my nightmare, the earth rejected my body.

This month’s sacrifice was to have sex with a dead body baba went straight to he point, how he went about the dead body was bribe a morgue attendant in his locality to transport the body to his coven. For 3 days, i was locked up with the lifeless body and could have sex at different intervals with the corpse. My first encounter with the corpse, as soon as baba closed the door behind, i examined the body and this was a corpse of a woman that hd died right after child birth. I looked under her hood and had no choice than to login into the cold lifeless corpse. (Baba already handed me an ointment that I didn’t know if it was actually for lubrication or part of the spiritual thing. In and out, back and forth, the body just layed there lifeless and cold and as soon as i came inside, her pussay gave s loud hiss. ( guess that was a fraction of air that escaped). This went in an in for 3 days and i had to endure the stench, the lifeless sex, until baba opened the door on the 4 day arranged for the return of the corpse and had me wait in his coven.I’d leave Baba’s coven, hit he club partied like nothing happened and even dashed babes money. The truth was i felt i was loosing my mind. But for how long would this continue?
nna eh!
see as fear dey catch me for here.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 2:03pm On Nov 26, 2021
NoGirlfriend:

nna eh!
see as fear dey catch me for here.

That’s the intention

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 2:06pm On Nov 26, 2021
dodoatirice:

That’s the intention
Nwune u r many many gud.....eziokwu! u keep delivering like the Hebrew women

5 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 2:08pm On Nov 26, 2021
shit getting lot 'a scary...

Damn!! Things dey happen ooh....
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Hungerbadoo: 2:38pm On Nov 26, 2021
This is getting scary
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Holla911(m): 2:44pm On Nov 26, 2021
This is the definition of " who know no go, who no know na him go go"
This is why babalawo's don't do blood money for themselves. They know the consequences outweigh the money gifts lipsrsealed
OP feed us more dodo ati rice cool

10 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Derende(m): 3:51pm On Nov 26, 2021
Men dis book need to replayed in a nollywood movie blockbuster series
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by DSC7: 4:36pm On Nov 26, 2021
The Bible was right when it said The love of money is the root of all evil......


Once you sell your soul to the Devil be ready to do many abominable stuffs......

Laslas only God's Blessings comes with peace of mind......

@Op you are so on point. cool.....

5 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 4:49pm On Nov 26, 2021
As the money dey show, I couldn’t invest, it didn’t even occur to me to try and invest, i already knew the end result to any investment i made as it would blow up in flames if i stopped coming through for the demands of the gods. I’d rather buy 30 bottles of ace at the club and have the hype man shouting my praises at the tip of his voices for the night, i had sold my ability to have kids too to the spirits and getting down with hoes was a normal thing as long as I didn’t sleep with anyone who was on their period. Personally to avoid trouble or consequences, i abstained from having sex and even if i wanted to do it i knew by morning whoever i slept with died mysteriously or lost their mind. You know see am ni, i dey Bleep dead body ifni come use the same gbola on you how you no go die or how you no go mad. But shey the ladies go gree hear word? Just buy casket for club make you dey chill you go see babe carry go house sha. But I don’t take hookups to my home, I’d rather fuvk you at the hotel, pay you off in cash and leave you to go and die sometime later.

I attended a Wedding one day like that on the mainland, i was returning in my Benzo wey the Ac dey vez like oyinbo morgue where light dey always dey. I don’t eat at weddings though i only went to show love, i never ate at function ls generally, because, wetin you wan give me chop for there wey i no fit buy? And to avoid food poisoning from circle of unseen envious people. I was going to drive into the park space of a Tantalizer restaurant and this mad man blocked the way. I kept honking at the mad man to live amd he didn’t bulge, the security guy on sight then grabbed his baton and made to scare the werey out of the way. He still didn’t bulge. The security guy self na only starting the mumu get, odinary finishing with that stick ey he hold e no fit do. Then the mad guy climed tge hood of my car and sat there. I kept honking. Cars that wanted to access the same parking space were already lined up behind me and there was this werey guy causing a nuisance. I then grabbed the koboko that i had purchased and kept in my car and never used. This was a nice day to swing it I thought. I unlocked my car door got down holding the koboko and you know say dem no dey tell werey say rain wan fall. He jumped down from my car hood and bolted. He then stood t a safe distant and spoke. He said.

Iwo tojepe iya tomaje eti ashor elowa

You wey be say the suffer wey you go suffer e dey tied to the helm of your garment

He went ahead and said

Iwo tojepe egba ti won ma fi na tie baje wan ti re sile

The whip that would be used on you has already already been soaked waiting for you.

He then let out an hysterical laugh, ran acrossed the road and disappeared into the flock of people either going to or coming from. I got in my car and suddenly felt full, everything the mad man said was disturbing. I knew it was a message. I told Baba about my encounter with the werey, Baba told me not to worry about it that it was a mere coincidence.

This one time i left Lagos and flew to another state and didn’t bring my car because i went through flight. Getting to my lodge, i noticed they had club that was buzzing that particular night. From my lodge i found my way into the club part of the hotel and right inside i headed for the Vip. Obviously i saw some dude’s already chilling out at the vip but i no send anyone, i just wanted to have lowkey fun that day as I understood this place was not Lagos and I didn’t plan to splurge. I sat there and ordered for a cognac bottle for a hundred thousand, the waitress returned with the bottle, a pail of ice and a glass. I got on with my small merriment when my eyes then saw something that really caught my attention. I saw a list of Ballers on the display screen and one guy dat at number one and his picture dominated the whole space. ‘Bloody Ritualist’ i thought to myself. Then my eyes wandered to where the boys i saw in the vip earlier sat and i caught a face in the fold, the guy that sat at number one (Sammy Wire) was i that fold and was feeling really fly, him body no just calm down and i guess he was wait for a competition ( a competition prob a group of ballers he could compete with that night) because i saw his eyes moving around observing if anyone had ordered something that chalenged him. It didn’t even take long, some boys trooped in and started buying drinks. At first Sammy wasn’t moved, until the boys started washing their phones with all the drinks they ordered in a casket. Sammy then started ordering, he bought 4 caskets of ace all at once and the hype man no let me hear word. I wouldn’t have dethroned sammy that night but the hype man was shouting his name and I didn’t like it at all. Sammy had spent close to 9million naira in what wasn’t up to 40 minutes buying drinks he didn’t drink but wasted he and his folks.

I switched it up a bit when i ordered ten caskets of the same drink he ordered in one payment. Now the ball was in his court. My ten caskets at once put the guys that started it out of competition or at best they chickened out because it had became a game of the elders at that point. It didn’t tale long, the hoes on his table joined mine and more girls joined in and i let them pop any of the drinks. In like an hour our table was looking like a war scene.. asun, ace of spades, Hennessy etc dominated the table. I called the hype man and sent him 200k for changing the damn Sammy tune he’d been shouting that I didn’t like and the guy turned to a radio on my name. We kept ordering and it was a battle of supremacy, a battle of who ordered more caskets and who chickened out. Sammy didn’t want to order anymore and the moment i ordered 15 more casket bringing the drink bill to the highest the club had ever recorded in one night, somehow the hype man had shot a pic of me which no sat as the cover photo for ballers and my name sat ontop of the list.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Born2winKingOG: 5:07pm On Nov 26, 2021
who nor go, nor know.

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 6:30pm On Nov 26, 2021
Mazi Dodo!
onye mme-mme
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 7:08pm On Nov 26, 2021
Thumbs up op, continue plz....

1 Like 1 Share

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