Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,156,188 members, 7,829,252 topics. Date: Wednesday, 15 May 2024 at 10:44 PM

Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) - Literature (20) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) (197587 Views)

Smart Lady Gets Perfect Revenge On Yahoo Guy That Wants To Use Her For Rituals / In - Between ( A Fictional Story) / Life Of A Shy Guy (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) ... (78) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by blesskewe(f): 9:01pm On Nov 27, 2021
bakesntakes:



Ahhh, Omo da one mad o... I fit faint walahi
Bros Y u quote everything na......
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by preshman22: 9:18pm On Nov 27, 2021
Dodo you don try for today
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 9:31pm On Nov 27, 2021
He was there in a moment and then nothing. I tried to light the candle with the lighter, the stupid lighter no gree bring flame ‘’pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa” downstairs, the room wey i dey bath my midnight spiritual bath obviously someone or something was there. I try on this candle e bring light. I suddenly remembered my phone in my pocket. As i commot my phone say make i on torchlight at least, phone wey dey fully charged wey i buy with cartoon e don off. I tried turning it on e no on. I gave up on the phone and found my way downstairs ruggedly the candle wey dey for main entrance still dey there thankfully. I relit the candle from the candle that self destruct to hold light. And then headed straight to the visitor’s toilet snd called him out like i did earlier. I didn’t see hkm again but he was there. Nigga said he was giving me the last warning that if i tried calling him with his earthly name again he’d deal with me. I told him he needed to go and never come back and that he’d done enough harm already. I told him I’d killed him and buried him twice and i even eat from his body parts and that it was his fault if not we’d still be friends and I’d have probably showed him the way. Silenceeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I stood rooted to the spot. Then I suddenly felt some coldness around me. It started mild. Like someone embraced me from behind. I could see his feet if i looked down but jot the body. Then some sobbing followed. Jago had apparently hugged me from behind (hence the cold feeling and if i looked down, i saw his earth stained feet but not his body. He was there tho. Sobbing continued and he then said i couldn’t even talk things out with him amicably and that he had a child who was now fatherless. I tried to move from that spot but I couldn’t i was very stiff. He probably held me there. Then the cold feeling left me and everything resumed just as it was before he breezed in earlier. I didn’t know if i had seen the last of him or not bit he was gone atleast for now.

The next morning, i freshened up and tried to drive out in one of my cars. As soon as i stepped outside and my gate guy said good morning to me i could see he was trying to cover his nose and i hot confused.

Baba wetn happen

‘Nothing ogha’ he managed to blurt out.

Why you come dey do like that
I was getting pissed at that point

He then asked me if a rat died inside the house I told him there was no rat in the house

I was smelling like a dead person but I couldn’t perceive the smell myself but it was very very obvious. Ojo taba ribi ni ibi nwole. I put me and my smelling self in the car and Baba’s Coven was a compulsory must!

4 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Bukolaberry(f): 9:44pm On Nov 27, 2021
thanks alot for the update, wetin I fit take appreciate you o, okay shey you go take sachet water, on a serious note I appreciate the back to back update but try to edit it before post, cause I noticed some typo error, no rush brother so many people are interested in this block buster and be all of us fit fill in the gap due to the error. one love.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 9:50pm On Nov 27, 2021
Bukolaberry:
thanks alot for the update, wetin I fit take appreciate you o, okay shey you go take sachet water, on a serious note I appreciate the back to back update but try to edit it before post, cause I noticed some typo error, no rush brother so many people are interested in this block buster and be all of us fit fill in the gap due to the error. one love.

Thanks for pointing it out. I’m always multitasking as i habe to baby-sit my kid and update the thread so most times i no dey get time to do spell check i go fix am sha

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Bukolaberry(f): 9:55pm On Nov 27, 2021
dodoatirice:


Thanks for pointing it out. I’m always multitasking as i habe to baby-sit my kid and update the thread so most times i no dey get time to do spell check i go fix am sha
you are welcome, greet baby for me o
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by formular760: 9:57pm On Nov 27, 2021
Bukolaberry:
you are welcome, greet baby for me o

Haha lol Ogirress.

I no fit use you kikikikikikiki
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 9:59pm On Nov 27, 2021
formular760:


Haha lol Ogirress.

I no fit use you kikikikikikiki

Lol
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 10:03pm On Nov 27, 2021
Overnight updates
Who go check am

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Bukolaberry(f): 10:12pm On Nov 27, 2021
dodoatirice:
Overnight updates Who go check am
present
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 10:14pm On Nov 27, 2021
nice update mazi dodo! I dey ya back steady
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by NoGirlfriend: 10:14pm On Nov 27, 2021
dodoatirice:
Overnight updates Who go check am
u dey whyn my nipple?
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Headmaster055(m): 10:18pm On Nov 27, 2021
We dey here
dodoatirice:
Overnight updates
Who go check am
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by gstelly: 10:19pm On Nov 27, 2021
dodoatirice:
Overnight updates
Who go check am
I game
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Epeegee(m): 10:33pm On Nov 27, 2021
Follow you for back
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 11:17pm On Nov 27, 2021
Omo i dey gbaaaa, the smell was unbearable for Baba’s assistant that he left the coven for us completely. Baba na Baba na as you’d expect, Baba still blamed me for letting Jago off like that, and that i was probably talking too much. I would have killed him one last time but then the spirit escaped and even gave me a scent. Baba just dey para, He said i was becoming too slacky and too slow for his liking. Together we headed back to where Jago was buried, Baba handed me sponge and soap, we waited for a while.. his assistant brought a pail containing water and scoop, and the werey na back the way he came because of the smell. Bastard boy!!! I said in my mind.
Baba told me to stand in the middle of the grave and bath the soap and sponge. He reappeared again, told me to drop the sponge on the grave, i did. He then told me to jump over it seven times. I completed the back and forth jump in no time the Baba told me to maintain the position i was before when i was having the bath, i did and he then passed me a small. Told me to eat the content. I dipped my hand inside the pot, i knew it was beef immediately i touched it. Human flesh. Baba had preserved a portion of Jago’s flesh and here i was again waiting the same meat that someone came to collect. (I had no time for questions as Baba was not in the mood to entertain questions. My teeth sank into the tases chunk of Human beef and chewed until i had nothing left. Back at the coven, i had stopped smelling dead, the bloody bastard could relax around me now (Baba’s assistant) Baba’s intel was to go home and go and enjoy my life as Jago’s Jericho was no more.

I moved to a hotel, booked up a room for 6months. The torment and experience gan on hin own e reach make i no reach the house again. For my baths, since the hotel was in the same area as my home, I’d go home in the evening, grab the potion of soap, sponge and ebu I’d use that night then then either switch cars and head back to the hotel. I don dey hotel for one month and i don ball money pa. I go go club, carry olosho, buy drink wey expensive waste it to create awareness, smoke expensive strains of loud and colorado. Invest kwa no way. All my balling that month, month end and the tax collector was waiting. The tax collector then through the task master asked me to fulfill a simple request as Baba termed it. You go do like say you mad, you go come run enter market. You go make everybody believe say you mad but you no mad but you must enter market and you go mad for 7days gbako! I’d come out of my fake madness on the 7th day as soon as i complete the seven day thing, I’d then return to Baba for more instructions. I just weak. He nor too tey. Don enter road dey form mad man dey go. Omo i waka pa. He said make people believe i was mad, my costume was really top notch i rag for school that year na if you saw me, you believe i was really mad. Some people i knew must have saw me but nobody would connect my new image to my normal self. I waka ehn. One of the events i could remember vividly in my waka about was the day i was playing my mad dey go that evening. Na so i enter market dey form mad dey go.. i no know say operation sweep don park for down down enter market dey look for all those werey wey dey roam about. I nooor know sef, i don chew bugan (localy made bakery bread) like werey gooooo i no quick look front na so i see their bus ehn. All of them don dey look me dey look how dem go capture me.

Marley naira Popo dey on my grind popo dey on my back amd i aint gon stop, owow tolgate yen mi ni le san” omo na so market scatter o. Self made werey come dey run from people wey dey catch original werey. Omo dem no see me o. The moment i was able to catch my breath i come dey reason am, if dem carry me reach their office now, if i tell dem say i no be werey dem nor go believe, if i tell dem say i be self made werey, dem go think say my own werey na special case. If dem wipe me koboko andni shout yee yee oga abeg i no be werey, dem go think say na my own werey style be that. Ajeh, nothing wey i go talk wey go make dem beieve say i no be mad pesin. Worst worst, dem go come pack me join other original werey we go come dey reason because i no go fit escape before you know wetin sup, because say i dey reason with original werey dem or because say i dey their midst i go come dey reason like original werey. Moya pick race

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Starkz9898(m): 11:35pm On Nov 27, 2021
Omo unto b run level,i dy your back like dis like eczema grin
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by preshman22: 6:50am On Nov 28, 2021
Werey for president 2023 cool
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Bukolaberry(f): 7:07am On Nov 28, 2021
wahala be like bicycle, when you enter street new the matter no be like this and sure ceeza and baba never told you things will turn out this way, the richer you get the more wahala, I sure say if them tell you then say you go use people u for no gree join, funny enough you are just trying by all means to survive not for the money .

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by DSC7: 7:23am On Nov 28, 2021
Shey no be say u go finally ya werey grin grin....

What if u come jam jago roaming about? cheesy

Nice one bro....

Happy Sunday to you all cool
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 7:55am On Nov 28, 2021
Short update

Finally, I returned to Baba’s coven on the morning of the 8th day. Nor be small thing. My life for seven days was something i never prayed to go through again. I asked baba what was next and a dead body was waiting for me in the room (Baba always paid the morgue attendant a lump some every time so he could transport a dead body back and forth lowkey for him. Didn’t take long i was locked inside the room with it i was to Bleep a way for another 3 days. The person they brought, somebody’s mother, she looked as white as death and her eye lids was closed shit. Her breasts was cold in my mouth and the ice that once preserved the body from the morgue had melted leaving tiny bits of water on the surface of the skin. Rubbed the ointment Baba always provided on my dick and laced the corpse cunt with it and plugged into the now moist cold insides of the corpse. 3 days of that torment and i was out and ready to go back and try to cash out the tax i paid. Now the rules had changed, i cashed out mysteriously every damn day. Suddenly I’d need to withdraw a substantial sum of money everyday and go out and made sure i spent everything and returned home empty handed. I had to make sure i spent everything and not return with a single penny or else (doomsday).


Baba and his gods then switched up my plot. This time i had to stop bombing as i was already neck deep in shit that my level had upgraded. My cashouts were spiritually aided in the yahoo way. But I had to put an end to bombing clients for money baba told me it won’t be needed. This particular day, Baba asked me to drop my laptop on-top of the devil. (Ori esu - a stone somewhere in the corner of the room that had seen decades of palm oil bath.) no more bombing. That night, i say blindfolded in the middle of the room and baba fed me beef (it wasn’t Jago’s but this one was fresh) i ate the flesh with all the mixture in the pot, then baba removed the blindfold, led me through the back and gave me a sponge and soap. Baba’s intel was I’d bath the soap and as soon as i was done, a spirit would appear and bring me big bags of cash. I was to exchange my sponge for the bags. I did the bath and i could see about 4 dirty sacks of cash some distance from me. I looked ahead and the corpse i slept with was standing and looking at me in disgust i threw the sponge in her direction and she wasn’t there anymore even the sponge.

I inspected the bags and dollars damn. All four of it. I carried the bags and Baba led the way back to his coven. Inside his hit, i was checking the bills over and over, mint notes in $100 bills.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Lakesc: 7:56am On Nov 28, 2021
Hahaha! Thanks for the amazing update. Happy sunday y'all.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Hungerbadoo: 8:08am On Nov 28, 2021
Thanks for been consistent... The update na dope
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by meneski(m): 8:24am On Nov 28, 2021
Why body dey do me one kind... Am I scared : angry lipsrsealed
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 8:43am On Nov 28, 2021
Op you are doing well.

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by preshman22: 9:55am On Nov 28, 2021
Jesus is Lord

Repent and be saved

Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 10:26am On Nov 28, 2021
Finally, I returned to Baba’s coven on the morning of the 8th day. Nor be small thing. My life for seven days was something i never prayed to go through again. I asked baba what was next and a dead body was waiting for me in the room (Baba always paid the morgue attendant a lump some every time so he could transport a dead body back and forth lowkey for him. Didn’t take long i was locked inside the room with it i was to Bleep a way for another 3 days. The person they brought, somebody’s mother, she looked as white as death and her eye lids was closed shit. Her breasts was cold in my mouth and the ice that once preserved the body from the morgue had melted leaving tiny bits of water on the surface of the skin. Rubbed the ointment Baba always provided on my dick and laced the corpse cunt with it and plugged into the now moist cold insides of the corpse. 3 days of that torment and i was out and ready to go back and try to cash out the tax i paid. Now the rules had changed, i cashed out mysteriously every damn day. Suddenly I’d need to withdraw a substantial sum of money everyday and go out and made sure i spent everything and returned home empty handed. I had to make sure i spent everything and not return with a single penny or else (doomsday).


Baba and his gods then switched up my plot. This time i had to stop bombing as i was already neck deep in shit that my level had upgraded. My cashouts were spiritually aided in the yahoo way. But I had to put an end to bombing clients for money baba told me it won’t be needed. This particular day, Baba asked me to drop my laptop on-top of the devil. (Ori esu - a stone somewhere in the corner of the room that had seen decades of palm oil bath.) no more bombing. That night, i say blindfolded in the middle of the room and baba fed me beef (it wasn’t Jago’s but this one was fresh) i ate the flesh with all the mixture in the pot, then baba removed the blindfold, led me through the back and gave me a sponge and soap. Baba’s intel was I’d bath the soap and as soon as i was done, a spirit would appear and bring me big bags of cash. I was to exchange my sponge for the bags. I did the bath and i could see about 4 dirty sacks of cash some distance from me. I looked ahead and the corpse i slept with was standing and looking at me in disgust i threw the sponge in her direction and she wasn’t there anymore even the sponge.

I inspected the bags and dollars damn. All four of it. I carried the bags and Baba led the way back to his coven. Inside his hit, i was checking the bills over and over, mint notes in $100 bills.




Money came like that once in two days. Like, i always bath the soap every 2days. And the dead woman appeared and brought money every two days. Baba already informed me that sometimes she’d come with the money and try to engage me but I shouldn’t pay attention to whatever antics she brought with the money.in one of her visits after she appeared, she called me out.

“Kilode to je kin sun re?
Otun wan shemi nishekushe
Otun wan ni mi lare

(Then she pointed to the money she brought

Eru yi ti poju fun mi
Shi oju anu e womi”


“Why wouldn’t you allow me to sleep in peace
You’re even abusing the body i was occupied in my former life
I’m in pains
This load is too much for me
Please have mercy (she pleaded)”

Baba’s intel was to ignore her, so on numerous occasions she’d bring throw it at me but i always left her ignored.

The money that She brought, i had to spend it and give it all away in two days before my next bath and sponge for money exchange. She always brought more than enough but in two days i had to ball it all away. So i fit dey one club now, and i go dey sort bills for 3 or 4 other clubs wey my niggas dey. Like four hypeman for four different club go dey shout my name say i dey ball but na one club i dey. Me and my niggas go carry plenty babes, lodge for expensive hotel, chop expensive dishes, I could afford all the drugs my niggas wanted and in excess, i fit dey this hotel now, and i fit book all the whole rooms and sleep inside just one.

3 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by bakesntakes(m): 10:30am On Nov 28, 2021
dodoatirice:
Finally, I returned to Baba’s coven on the morning of the 8th day. Nor be small thing. My life for seven days was something i never prayed to go through again. I asked baba what was next and a dead body was waiting for me in the room (Baba always paid the morgue attendant a lump some every time so he could transport a dead body back and forth lowkey for him. Didn’t take long i was locked inside the room with it i was to Bleep a way for another 3 days. The person they brought, somebody’s mother, she looked as white as death and her eye lids was closed shit. Her breasts was cold in my mouth and the ice that once preserved the body from the morgue had melted leaving tiny bits of water on the surface of the skin. Rubbed the ointment Baba always provided on my dick and laced the corpse cunt with it and plugged into the now moist cold insides of the corpse. 3 days of that torment and i was out and ready to go back and try to cash out the tax i paid. Now the rules had changed, i cashed out mysteriously every damn day. Suddenly I’d need to withdraw a substantial sum of money everyday and go out and made sure i spent everything and returned home empty handed. I had to make sure i spent everything and not return with a single penny or else (doomsday).


Baba and his gods then switched up my plot. This time i had to stop bombing as i was already neck deep in shit that my level had upgraded. My cashouts were spiritually aided in the yahoo way. But I had to put an end to bombing clients for money baba told me it won’t be needed. This particular day, Baba asked me to drop my laptop on-top of the devil. (Ori esu - a stone somewhere in the corner of the room that had seen decades of palm oil bath.) no more bombing. That night, i say blindfolded in the middle of the room and baba fed me beef (it wasn’t Jago’s but this one was fresh) i ate the flesh with all the mixture in the pot, then baba removed the blindfold, led me through the back and gave me a sponge and soap. Baba’s intel was I’d bath the soap and as soon as i was done, a spirit would appear and bring me big bags of cash. I was to exchange my sponge for the bags. I did the bath and i could see about 4 dirty sacks of cash some distance from me. I looked ahead and the corpse i slept with was standing and looking at me in disgust i threw the sponge in her direction and she wasn’t there anymore even the sponge.

I inspected the bags and dollars damn. All four of it. I carried the bags and Baba led the way back to his coven. Inside his hit, i was checking the bills over and over, mint notes in $100 bills.




Money came like that once in two days. Like, i always bath the soap every 2days. And the dead woman appeared and brought money every two days. Baba already informed me that sometimes she’d come with the money and try to engage me but I shouldn’t pay attention to whatever antics she brought with the money.in one of her visits after she appeared, she called me out.

“Kilode to je kin sun re?
Otun wan shemi nishekushe
Otun wan ni mi lare

(Then she pointed to the money she brought

Eru yi ti poju fun mi
Shi oju anu e womi”


“Why wouldn’t you allow me to sleep in peace
You’re even abusing the body i was occupied in my former life
I’m in pains
This load is too much for me
Please have mercy (she pleaded)”

Baba’s intel was to ignore her, so on numerous occasions she’d bring throw it at me but i always left her ignored.

The money that She brought, i had to spend it and give it all away in two days before my next bath and sponge for money exchange. She always brought more than enough but in two days i had to ball it all away. So i fit dey one club now, and i go dey sort bills for 3 or 4 other clubs wey my niggas dey. Like four hypeman for four different club go dey shout my name say i dey ball but na one club i dey. Me and my niggas go carry plenty babes, lodge for expensive hotel, chop expensive dishes, I could afford all the drugs my niggas wanted and in excess, i fit dey this hotel now, and i fit book all the whole rooms and sleep inside just one.


shocked
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Kpakam(m): 10:47am On Nov 28, 2021
.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 10:47am On Nov 28, 2021
Op keep it coming.

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by sodeeqsulaimon88(m): 11:47am On Nov 28, 2021
This is scary asf
Huge money zero peace of mind

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rhu4xce: 12:24pm On Nov 28, 2021
Big ups OP! I can't imagine i had read close to 4 hours without having breakfast. Mhen!

1 Like 1 Share

(1) (2) (3) ... (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) ... (78) (Reply)

The Preacher's Son II: The Other Side Of Life!!! / Accidental Victim / Oga Landlord 21+

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 85
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.