Shokoloko:
I was going to ask question about this: Her objection to the hiring of a maid . Seems strange that a working class woman would refuse help

neonly:



I accept all u just said it OK part of advice
Hope u read my post well for the past 10yrs she been working no support to house welfare
Marriage is part of helping each other flaws but when the other person see it in a different way and start capitalise on it then wahala go dey
Why won't I wash my children cloths and cook for my wife be a complain no u getting wrong
This no dey gree do anything again na work and church be her poragative u right no communication again I have tried honestly but all talks and gist fall on deaf ears
My 2nd son seems to understand what is really going on and am afraid our issues don't him at school he woke early today and said he didn't want to go to school ask him y he said nothing with a sad face
They are reason am still putting on d relationship to make it work but honestly now am just tired
It better to have a broken home and be alive to see yur children grow than to be death

neonly:



I accept all u just said it OK part of advice
Hope u read my post well for the past 10yrs she been working no support to house welfare
Marriage is part of helping each other flaws but when the other person see it in a different way and start capitalise on it then wahala go dey
Why won't I wash my children cloths and cook for my wife be a complain no u getting wrong
This no dey gree do anything again na work and church be her poragative u right no communication again I have tried honestly but all talks and gist fall on deaf ears
My 2nd son seems to understand what is really going on and am afraid our issues don't him at school he woke early today and said he didn't want to go to school ask him y he said nothing with a sad face
They are reason am still putting on d relationship to make it work but honestly now am just tired
It better to have a broken home and be alive to see yur children grow than to be death

omooba969:


With the prescription of separation, both will definitely feel differently about their marriage.

It's helpful to engage husband and wife in talking about their problems rather than trying to run away from their shadows...in the guise of temporary separation.

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

BestJay:
The devil is really out against marriages now, please pray, talk with her and settle these things. It pains me when I hear of things like this.

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

Shokoloko:


I agree. And that was why I said if they talk and come to a stalemate then they can separate temporarily.
Only one person cannot save a marriage

Homeboiy:
The worst of it all be say the children go first buy their mama motor if they grow

Your own go be schnapps

No go kill your self o

Amhappy:
If you divorce na who go come take care of the children? Start from no more church except Sundays. Call the elders if necessary. Stamp your feet down

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

Chigold101:

Marriage is hard for the person that wants it to be hard for him/her.

Marriage is so easy and sweet if both parties decide to grow and evolve in their marriage relationship.

Chigold101:

Marriage is hard for the person that wants it to be hard for him/her.

Marriage is so easy and sweet if both parties decide to grow and evolve in their marriage relationship.

Timoleon:
Succinct

PeaceJoyLove:

The questions are:

1. We was/were doing the highlighted part initially?
2 When did you take over?

Bro, if she had previously done it for 10 years or more before saying NO and a resounding capital NO to you; then, she is not at fault.

You asked what will be your future for doing the activities? The same question she had asked herself most likely before she said NO. She decided she was not going to take it again.

But then, you said she works and she makes money for herself. I do not not know if she had been working all the while before this trouble, and just being selfish.

Talk to yourself first before talking to your wife. If she had been doing it all, and her career was on the line; then, it is you who was selfish when she was doing it alone. But if you evaluate it all, and she has just been exactly like this all along; then, she is selfish. The other possibility is that the two of you are being flexing muscle against each other in the house. In this case, you are the one who asked for advice here, and you will be the one to first call her, and you both have a heart to heart talk where you share all responsibilities and activities 50 - 50.

If you cannot do 50 - 50, then, oga, I have no suggestion for you.

Goodluck!

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

neonly:



No marriage is perfect dis I
know talking to her has become a ritual daily reoccurance
Some are just lucky when it comes to marriage guess u one of them
Just posting dis to know if other people out der are going tru what am going tru at least share opinion like you doing
Thks

PeaceJoyLove:

The questions are:

1. We was/were doing the highlighted part initially?
2 When did you take over?

Bro, if she had previously done it for 10 years or more before saying NO and a resounding capital NO to you; then, she is not at fault.

You asked what will be your future for doing the activities? The same question she had asked herself most likely before she said NO. She decided she was not going to take it again.

But then, you said she works and she makes money for herself. I do not not know if she had been working all the while before this trouble, and just being selfish.

Talk to yourself first before talking to your wife. If she had been doing it all, and her career was on the line; then, it is you who was selfish when she was doing it alone. But if you evaluate it all, and she has just been exactly like this all along; then, she is selfish. The other possibility is that the two of you are being flexing muscle against each other in the house. In this case, you are the one who asked for advice here, and you will be the one to first call her, and you both have a heart to heart talk where you share all responsibilities and activities 50 - 50.

If you cannot do 50 - 50, then, oga, I have no suggestion for you.

Goodluck!

Kobojunkie:

So, you want to ruin your 15-year old marriage for the sake of your ego?
■ You go to market
■ Cook
■ clean the house
■ wash the children uniform
....
So you do these things in your own home and you expect what, a medal? The person that used to do them before, I am guessing your wife, she no be human being like you?

So your wife is interested in her career, and you are what? Against your "friend" doing well in her career or what? And let me guess, communication has degraded between you two and probably between your egos are butting heads at this point and rather than working on that, you are instead thinking of ways to end your relationship?

Look, no two marriages are created the same and no two individuals in a marriage are exact copies of themselves. You and your wife are meant to design your own marriage in a way that works for you, not go around comparing yourselves to others out there.
Die to your ego if you must and learn to grow rather than destroy your marriage over petty things such as what you listed here.

Kobojunkie:
Forget the gloss, those who you think are lucky have had to let go of many things to make even their relationships work the way it appears.

Sacrifice whatever you have to, in order to make your marriage work, that seems to be the general rule. I have seen men sacrifice even their ego so they can have a good marriage. A friend of mine does the cooking and cleaning in the house, even parks a lunch box every morning for his kids and wife because he says he is better at it than she is. His family is "tight" for it too.

Marriage is work and there are no roles in marriage at all - forget the meaningless lies folks spew about these things. Anyone who can do it should. Simple!

neonly:



This is someone dat work and her pay is for her alone honestly I don't even know much she earn ast salary
If u are lucky to marry a good person just thank Jehovah
Too much pressure to guild her and let her see reason will be consider sexual violent so am very careful it has easy has u think bro's am just heart broken right now if I can have my way Na to just relocate go another country

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

omooba969:


Unless one of them specifically states that they want out, I will favour 'meaningful engagement' on the problems over temporary separation.