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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money (5930 Views)
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Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by mariahAngel(f): 11:21am On Sep 30, 2021 |
GboyegaD: Better off without his family? As if it were that easy. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by chatinent: 11:24am On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel: Ok o |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Karlman: 11:25am On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Honestly I don't know because this kinda thing maybe you have 100 then you're asking for support for the rest 50 I don't think one can wake and call on his family to come and sponsor his in-laws burial you can only ask them to accompany you and support you not raise the whole money for you. 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Munzy14(m): 11:27am On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Ya wuru nna ya, and he has no one else to do it, he will find ways to...But avoid borrowing what will send him to depression... Ya kara ya mma, na nwoke mmadu no na mortuary chere mgbe OP matara ego o ji eli ya. Ihuru mme mme wu ihe m na agahu agwa mmadu ga biri ego mee o...Do according to your pocket...To ensure your peace of mind. 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by mariahAngel(f): 11:29am On Sep 30, 2021 |
Karlman: You have to ask them to support you. There’s no shame in that. Are you Igbo? |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by GboyegaD(m): 11:30am On Sep 30, 2021 |
The Nigerian situation cannot get any better if we keep trying to hold unto what is not. Some people are given burials that they never had a taste of a tenth of such while they were alive. OP, my advice once again, do not live to please people. The dead is gone, do what is necessary (support the family with your words of hope even at this trying time) and leave the rest. Dem no dey catch person wey no contribute and should anyone want to talk you down about not contributing, cut off such a person. You are grown enough to recognize tantrums and avoid such. 2 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Karlman: 11:31am On Sep 30, 2021 |
GboyegaD:Thanks bros the stuff really choke but I can't outdo myself over it. It is what it is. 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by GboyegaD(m): 11:32am On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel: It is way too easy. If you kill yourself to please people, those you intend pleasing will be the first to mock you. No one can love you more than you love yourself. 4 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Karlman: 11:37am On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Of course but that only if have enough already to cover the principal items. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Kobojunkie: 11:50am On Sep 30, 2021 |
GboyegaD:People subscribe to cultures and traditions that make no sense to me. I am simply trying to be as understanding as possible to that which they subscribe. For me, funeral na simple thing. One dies, one is buried. Hopefully the dead had life insurance to handle cost of burial. The end. 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by RightToReject(m): 11:51am On Sep 30, 2021 |
cococandy: The OP's reply to my foremost post here lies the reason anyone might go into debt because of burial or marriage - they go into debt because of feeble-mindedness or pride, not culture. As a person, when one doesn't stand for something worthwhile, hir falls for anything. If I were in the OP's position, I'd simply act based on my submission that I directed to him in the foremost post. The issue is that most people, like the OP seems to be, will rather do what they know is unjust/they can't do in a circumstance like this rather than to call off the bluff of everyone else regardless of any conventional norm or popular opinion all in a bid to impress. Should the OP go into debt now instead of calling off their bluff if they fail to reason with him after telling them his constraints in honesty, tomorrow he'll blame culture. 7 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by benzion72(m): 1:02pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Mr. Man don't kill yourself, if they factor you into their program they will consult you about a convinent date |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by NoToPile: 1:12pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
GboyegaD: I have even forgotten the bolded, he can just attend the ceremony then. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Ayo2004: 1:13pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Karlman:You better don't kill yourself on top in-law matter You don't have, simple Is your wife not making money How much will she contribute if your own father dies? Does she not have brothers or sisters who are working? If your wife is disturbing you to find money by all means,better para for her and go and tell her to borrow from LAPO If you like,goan take loan you cannot pay only for the loan apps to send insulting messages to your wife,her family,your boss, your friends leading to worse outcomes If you like,steal. If you like,fvck up the new job you just got. When my father died,we were all students yet we brought out the little we have and have the man a nice burial without doing pass ourselves The heart attack wey u dey find,u go see am one day God forbid I marry in this country,na so I go use my hand carry person wahala for head |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by NoToPile: 1:27pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Karlman: I understand your point as culture varies but I think its better to attend without doing anything financially than not attending your in-laws burial. Even if your people don't come with you, attendance is important. 2 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by GboyegaD(m): 1:40pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: You are right but it isn't the traditions most times, it is people using the tradition as their excuse. 3 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Munzy14(m): 1:59pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel:O wu afraid to borrow? In this case, ya mee ihe no ya n'uche....Ma ya agakwala gi i biri ego o na agahu akwucha li..ma owu gawa ohi.. Ma owu nwaanyi i ga kwawa iko.. Mpa m si o nwere challenge ga a bia kwute mmadu, onye ahu a di forced to i mu agwa ojor. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by mariahAngel(f): 2:13pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Munzy14: O rubenuhu otu ahu. Owu ihe m jiri si ya mee otu ike kwere ya. Ya wurugodi I bite ego, ya bitetu nke o ga kwufuli. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Munzy14(m): 2:27pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Ya si gi ihe o ga akwuli wu 5k kwanu... |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by mariahAngel(f): 2:38pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Munzy14: 5k cha? Mba, ya wete pam ise. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by James4358(m): 2:42pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Three big goats. Eight yams. Four cartons of beer. Four gallons of palm wine. ...is a 150 k expenses where do I go and borrow that at this time.[/quote] I Would have loved to help u with that amount, but how will u pay back seeing that this is a faceless forun! I understand ur predicament in this matter. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by JovialJune(f): 3:38pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Karlman: Hahaha Igbo people, una no go kill person with laugh 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by JovialJune(f): 3:52pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
GboyegaD: Toh you said my mind, but I don't want to talk much, before them "culture has to be respected and upholded" people come with their wahala even if the culture is evil or a form of extortion, they forget that change is constant in life. Op do you abeg. 3 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by JovialJune(f): 3:54pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
GboyegaD: Ke me kyau ne 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by JovialJune(f): 3:56pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Hahaha not in Nigeria 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by MufasaLion: 4:04pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Is it a sudden funeral or it has been planned for some months? |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Nobody: 4:14pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
For the sake of your mental state, do not borrow this kind of money for funeral. However, you do need to contribute something. Try and bring around 40k. Give to your wife and let her tell her family that this is what you can bring for now, due to your financial situation at the moment. Let the remainder become a debt you may have to pay later, when things are financially better. I beg you, for the sake of your wife and how your in-laws see you, do not try to negotiate the 150k lower. Karlman: |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Kobojunkie: 4:23pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
JovialJune:I have never been in favor of the idea of parents being a burden on their children. Parent wey make decision say na im kids must buru am with dem money, wey no get life insurance or at least burial insurance just means wickedness to me. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Karlman: 5:46pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
JovialJune:Is that all you have to say? And what is really funny here because am not really smiling at all o as the matter choke. |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by Nobody: 5:47pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
mariahAngel: I agree. Maybe go and steal, commit fraud at work, or better still, you can lend him the money. A lot of Nigerians put themselves through unnecessary stress to please others. I stopped doing that a long time ago. 3 Likes |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by JovialJune(f): 5:51pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Karlman: What do you want me to say? It's your culture na, so you shouldn't change the norm, either you provide what they want, or you don't attend the burial. 1 Like |
Re: My In-laws Are Doing Their Father's Burial And I Don't Have Money by JovialJune(f): 5:52pm On Sep 30, 2021 |
Karlman: Tor no vex, I wee nor smile again 1 Like |
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