I have been dating this chic for like 6 months now. She turns me on on every angle. We have our differences but I like almost everything about her. I enjoy her company to the fullest and never grow bored or tired of seeing her or talking to her. I have never been with a lady without any pinch of boredom in my entire life. She is not the most beautiful girl in the world, but to me she's the sweetest. Our communication lines are excellent, she has a good sense of humour. She's caring and understands me a lot. The list is endless.

Am 26 and am planning to get married next year. The only person I can think of right now is her cos I would really have fun if we did get married. Plus, she is also madly in love with me. I see it written all over her.

The problem is, she is 34. Though am not a baby my family wouldn't take it funny at all. My mentors/guardians/counsellors would also totally disapprove the matter.

I can't stand losing her. U know there are some people you just can't have a casual relationship with. I want to marry this chic but I don't want to have problems with my family and mentors in the process.

Please Nairalanders, what do I do? Is it a crime to marry a lady that's 8 years older than you, despite the compatibility, love and "mutuality" you both share? Or is it just the old African mentality that am up against?

op

is she ur sugar mummy?

If d both of u luv ur self go ahead.

Go for it. What else do you have to lose? From what it sounds like, your family would love her when they meet her anyway.

I feel your pain. goodluck!

i dont c anyth wrong

@OP this is d 21st century, no 1 cares, if GENUINE love is btw u , fine then!! jus arrange the no of kids u want b4 she hits the pause button!

Okay, what's wrong with it? Grannies needs love too.

As long as u don't go looking for younger women to hug later on, you re good to be with her.

I can't marry someone 8yrs older than me. Never! I dont knw what u are looking for that u didnt see in galz u re older than. Has she ever cooked vegetable soup 4 for u? Just curious 2 knw.

You are both mature. Age does not keep a marriage. I just hope you are working and have some life skills and not still in college otherwise women tend to be very mature at some age.To me friendship and love tops. How many marriages break even when the guy is older? Set your priorities right.If she's fine and truly loves you then who am I to condemn the relationship? And talk of kids shes only 34 not 55.There women giving birth at 45 though I don't really encourage it. Then ask yourself, will you be making decisions based on what people/family say? Who wants to get married anyway? it's you not the family.

The older ladies sure know how to treat the young ones to sweet perfection. That's why we'll always love them. Anyway, at poster I gt ur point and like u rightly noted, the society frowns at such unions even when the genuinety of the love btw u two is clear to see. Its solely up to u to work out; choosing between her and what ppl will say. Goodluck in ur decision.

young man, go ahead wit wat u want, not wat ur family or anybody wants after all u re d prime person involved,marraige goes beyond beauty n age but compatibility as d key player, Do wat u want young man k, Cal me anytime 4 more advice

With all you've mentioned,you have the rights ingredient for a successful marriage in place. Go ahead and make it count but please make sure you have something doing to make money. It makes a man more confident

Only u can decide. You alone knows the love u feel. You alone can decide if you can live with her for the rest of ur lives. Once u convince urself what u want, act, not minding what mentors say.

My guy RRRRRRRRUUUUUUNNNNN AS FAR AS YOU CAN, I have been down that lane.
Its not love oh its only a little passing phase.
Dont even think of it.
Simple question If she is 34 and unmarried have you ever wondered why she did not get married from 25 to 34 years now (8yrs), Guy open eye oh

If you come from a background where such a thing doesn't matter then go ahead and marry her.
However, from your post, you are concerned about how family and friends will take it. So,it means that it matters a lot.
If you have had a peaceful and loving relationship with your family and friends and you are about to do anything that makes them uneasy then think it through very well because their perspective is very likely the right one and your emotion filled perspective is very likely wrong.

All that said. Does it occur to you that her sweetness may just be a marketing strategy?
If she was really that sweet how come all men didn't notice it till she is now 34?
You have known her for just 6 months. Have you tried to find out (from real sources independent of what she tells you) how she lived her life from age 0-34?

I hear many people saying you shouldn't bother about what family and friends say. That it is her you are marrying and it is the love between you two that matters. Please don't ever try that western stewpeedity. It doesn't work here. Neither does it work there (because their divorce rate is about 48% http://www.divorcerate.org/). We African's may be lagging in technology but our principles of marriage are far better than the west. Here, a marriage is between one set of family and friends and another set of family and friends. So,if you are the only one seeing her sweetness and your family and friends don't see it, you better think well.

TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !
TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !
TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !TROUBLE ! ! !

Remember today’s decisions are the realities of tomorrow. Be ready and responsible in all your choices, premises of the moment might not stands the test of the future. Nothing is real but all is possible when you have God your side and never disdain your instinct! Wishing u all the best!!

[color=#000099][/color]

Although age is just a number, 8 years difference is much considering the fact that women age faster than men. Tell yourself the truth, will you be able to be faithful to her in the next 15 years when the wrinkles start coming?. At that time you would be rearing to go. Its just 6months. With time the feelings will die down. If she is that fantastic then you have discovered another mineral that no other man saw in all her 34years.
If your answer is in the affirmative, then goodluck minus Ebele J.

obongproff:

I have been dating this chic for like 6 months now. She turns me on on every angle. We have our differences but I like almost everything about her. I enjoy her company to the fullest and never grow bored or tired of seeing her or talking to her. I have never been with a lady without any pinch of boredom in my entire life. She is not the most beautiful girl in the world, but to me she's the sweetest. Our communication lines are excellent, she has a good sense of humour. She's caring and understands me a lot. The list is endless.

Am 26 and am planning to get married next year. The only person I can think of right now is her cos I would really have fun if we did get married. Plus, she is also madly in love with me. I see it written all over her.

The problem is, she is 34. Though am not a baby my family wouldn't take it funny at all. My mentors/guardians/counsellors would also totally disapprove the matter.

I can't stand losing her. U know there are some people you just can't have a casual relationship with. I want to marry this chic but I don't want to have problems with my family and mentors in the process.

Please Nairalanders, what do I do? Is it a crime to marry a lady that's 8 years older than you, despite the compatibility, love and "mutuality" you both share? Or is it just the old African mentality that am up against?

Hey, obongproff, welcome to the club. I am married to a woman who is 4years older than i am for the last two years. we have 2kids now. Truth is that i have not loved another person more in all those years. She has all i want in a woman. So, young man, go on and marry your woman. I'll give you a few tips though. My family members don't know her age. We kept that to ourselves. She'll be 40 next year but we won't mark it loudly to avoid undue attention. It's strictly between us and for our children to find out when they are older. She is the most respectful and dutiful lady i ever met. I once dated a girl that was 6yrs younger than i am but i have never met a more rude lady. So, age is in numbers. Someone mentioned the fact that is she looking older than you. If she is, that might be a slight headache. if you are the type that is perturbed by public opinion, then watch it because you may not be able to cope in future. Personally, i am an unconventional person so am not easily swayed. She looks slightly older than i am though she's got a figure that makes men's heads spin. she's even getting grey hairs but we just play over that and i love her to bit. So, man, follow your heart and goodluck.

I don't see anything wrong in marrying an older girl but d society We live in sees it wrong, but I believe We should respect d society's views(i.e what pple see us as) rather dan our own immediate wants. I Know many parents would never support dier son marrying an older girl. for future purposes reason is dat dey think she may soon outgrow you.

8 years difference may be too much but if you are very comfortable with it then why not?Just be suren she will be submissive to you. Is she willing to marry you?

Papido:

Hey, obongproff, welcome to the club. I am married to a woman who is 4years older than i am for the last six years. we have 2kids now. Truth is that i have not loved another person more in all those years. She has all i want in a woman. So, young man, go on and marry your woman. I'll give you a few tips though. My family members don't know her age. We kept that to ourselves. She'll be 40 next year but we won't mark it loudly to avoid undue attention. It's strictly between us and for our children to find out when they are older. She is the most respectful and dutiful lady i ever met. I once dated a girl that was 6yrs younger than i am but i have never met a more rude lady. So, age is only numbers. Someone mentioned the fact that is she looking older than you? If she is, that might be a slight headache. if you are the type that is perturbed by public opinion, then watch it because you may not be able to cope in future. Personally, i am an unconventional person so am not easily swayed. She looks slightly older than i am though she's got a figure that makes men's heads spin. she's even getting grey hairs but we just play over that and i love her to bits. So, man, follow your heart and goodluck.

Well Said Man! *thumbz up*

@OP the first thing to do here is to ask yourself why do you want to get married, and what kind of a marriage you want to have as well as what kind of a man do you want to be in that marriage.

That being said, please be mindfull of the fact that marriage is not a walk in the park. If you marry younger, same age or older whatever the age it'll have its challenges and good times.

So Whichever way you want it or look at it, it all comes down to what do you want and once you get it what are you going to do with it? Moral of the story: "Own your shyt and mean it"

This way, when things go pear shaped in the end you can at least say I'VE HAD A TIME OF MY LIFE. I HAVE LOVED AND BEEN LOVED and there are no regrets.

The future is something we can always prepare for but can never be certain of.

Nothing wrong with it as long as you understand your reason for doing so.
Is she good in sex ? Well, the truth is that women tend to lose interest in sex at an earlier age than men.
Is she a foreign lady 20 years older than you and you are hoping that she will be your ticket out of Nigeria ? You are doomed !

If you come from a background where such a thing doesn't matter then go ahead and marry her.
However, from your post, you are concerned about how family and friends will take it. So,it means that it matters a lot.
If you have had a peaceful and loving relationship with your family and friends and you are about to do anything that makes them uneasy then think it through very well because their perspective is very likely the right one and your emotion filled perspective is very likely wrong.

All that said. Does it occur to you that her sweetness may just be a marketing strategy?
If she was really that sweet how come all men didn't notice it till she is now 34?
You have known her for just 6 months. Have you tried to find out (from real sources independent of what she tells you) how she lived her life from age 0-34?

I hear many people saying you shouldn't bother about what family and friends say. That it is her you are marrying and it is the love between you two that matters. Please don't ever try that western stewpeedity. It doesn't work here. Neither does it work there (because their divorce rate is about 48% http://www.divorcerate.org/). We African's may be lagging in technology but our principles of marriage are far better than the west. Here, a marriage is between one set of family and friends and another set of family and friends. So,if you are the only one seeing her sweetness and your family and friends don't see it, you better think well.

@ poster:

Our dear friend, I recommend that each time you think about this matter, each time you receive a new counsel on it, each time you even pray on it, please always revisit the above counsel from VALIDATOR. Ultimately, the final decision is yours which may make or mar your entire destiny. MAY GOD DIRECT YOU IN THIS MATTER, in Jesus name. Amen. Jerremaih 10:23.

Mrs.Chima:

Okay, what's wrong with it? Grannies needs love too.

@ Poster:

It depends on both of you. if that's what you want go ahead.

The only caveat is that if you are mature enough yourself. A woman of 34 would have the maturity of a 40 year old man roughly.
If she's not divorced or widowed or have children already, maybe you can convince your favourite auntie to work on your family members .

Your family will hardly accept a divorced/widowed lady with 4 kids in tow as the new bride of their sweet little Johnny.


In reality an older woman should be marrying a younger guy cos woen live longer. You see so many widows compared to widowers (ok polygamy plays some role). I mean if a man dies at 75 and the woman at 84,  then none will have to be a lonely widow/widower for too long.