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Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by reddingtonblack: 9:22am On Oct 26, 2021 |
Spectaclesawe25: when you say "forget love"... does it mean you as a person can give trust, believe & be fully committed to a partner you don" t love Love comes after, how ? without feelings you just pick somebody invest ur time & effort just to hope love comes after you must be a badass gambler. i think it is feelings that propel efforts & commitment in r/ships, if i don't love you why should i lift a finger for you. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by bepositive11: 11:08am On Oct 26, 2021 |
Hathor5: I personally believe that genuine love is unconditional. And when we love someone, we want to nurture them to become better versions of themselves. We want to watch them grow and thrive. But there's a catch. Some people want to grow but some people want to remain the same This is why I believe that marriage involves unconditional love and conditional commitment. One of the conditions for commitment being that they are willing to grow into better versions of themselves Love can also be either healthy or toxic. Healthy love is the one that supports growth and toxic love is the one that hinders personal growth. You can see toxic love in abusive relationships So, when talking about love, it's also important to distinguish between the healthy one and the toxic one too. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Reptyle(m): 11:13am On Oct 26, 2021 |
Hathor5: Yes I can...but it is not easy. Takes some work to be able to do that. Like I said, once you understand that the person you are marrying is not 100%, it becomes a bit easier to let go and forgive when they offend you. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Magnoliaa(f): 11:17am On Oct 26, 2021 |
after4: Oh. I just remembered another definition now... I like to learn from people sha and there are some things I don't know. I find it very unrealistic to be everything to yourself. So love according to this person is: a commitment to the betterment of the other person. And I strongly agree with it. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Hathor5(f): 11:43am On Oct 26, 2021 |
bepositive11: You started with nurturing the other to bring the best out of them but my thread started on the premise that marriage is about bringing the best in ourselves not in our spouse. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by after4: 12:14pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Yes we can also look at it that way, as a decision to be committed to someone irrespective of that person's baggage Magnoliaa: 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by bepositive11: 12:52pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Hathor5: I think it goes both ways. And with or without marriage, we should still strive to be the best version of ourselves We're all growing. A newly wedded couple won't be the same 10 years down the line. By then, they would've experienced growth both individually and as a couple |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 3:45pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:Even the very out of the mouth of Satan, demons and devils, also written of in the very same scripture are "inspired" of God yet they are still lies, are they not? Your Bible is not not Word of God - Jesus Christ is the Word out of God's own mouth , God's Truth that is every Word out of God's Mouth - Matthew 4 vs 4 & John 14 vs 1 - 6. Yet again you include a description of your very own self in bold there. Why do you feign blindness to the reality that is you? Several, you have denied the very Word of Jesus Christ as written in Luke 20 vs 34 - 36, opting instead for the opinions expressed by Paul in one of his many letters. Yet you think yourself a Christian even at this? |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by DeRichard(m): 4:06pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Paul's words were inspired of God and Jesus spoke the very word of God. The word of God never contradicts be it spoken by Jesus or his apostles. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 4:11pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:Again, Kobojunkie:God doesn't contradict Himself, and, He warned you against trusting in the words of men, including Paul - Jeremiah 17 vs 5 P.S. Look up the meaning of the word 'inspired' so you don't keep confusing it with the word 'true'. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Hathor5(f): 5:37pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Reptyle: Are you saying that you can forgive all of the following? - cheating - cheating with your best friend - cheating with your brother - cheating repeatedly - insulting your mom - stealing from you - paternity fraud - revealing your secrets 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by DeRichard(m): 5:49pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: The commandments of God also came through the mouth of apostle Paul and they are of relevance in living the Christian life. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 6:03pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:The commandments of God came to us through Jesus Christ, the one who is the embodiment of God's Law in the Kingdom of God. He is God's Truth- Law - and the Eternal Life(grace) that all those who enter into His Kingdom are ruled over by and gifted with. In Matthew 4 vs 4, Jesus Christ all but declared to you that it is He, the one who is the Word out of God's Mouth, that you are to live - He is ruler and Law in the Kingdom of God. So any opinion or word contrary to that decreed by Jesus Christ Himself is against Him and not of His Law. It is a sin to add or remove from God's Law and God's Law to us was ratified on the cross when Jesus Christ declared, "It is finished!". And the same Jesus Christ informed you that not a jot of the Word of God, His Law included, will pass away or change until after Heaven and Earth have passed. So whatever commandment you claim to have received from Paul, I suggest you validate each and every one of them against Jesus Christ's teachings and commandments as given to you in the 4 Gospels, this to be certain you even follow Jesus Christ and not a mere man. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by DeRichard(m): 6:47pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Hmmm... It's well. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 6:48pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:Unless you realize that right now you are not serving Jesus Christ but another master, it is certainly not well at all. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by DeRichard(m): 6:50pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: I serve Christ and him only. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 6:53pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:In mouth only maybe, but God says we are to serve Him all our heart, mind, body and soul even, which you don't since you turn the Word of God(Jesus Christ) upside down to suit your ideas rather trust and Obey His teachings and commandments. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by DeRichard(m): 6:54pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: God knows who serves him. I don't need to prove it. It's God that can justify any man. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 7:19pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:Even those who serve God can tell those who are false from those who are true. Jesus Christ taught us to know this though His teachings. He made it simple when in John 15 vs 14 He said His friends are those who do as He asks - those who trust and Obey His teachings and commandments. By this you know that those who don't trust and Obey the Truth of Jesus Christ are liars and their mouth full of deciet! You can't your way into belonging to Jesus Christ when your very fruits here reveal you for who you truly are. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by DeRichard(m): 7:23pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: It's well. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Kobojunkie: 7:25pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
DeRichard:Lying, especially to self, is indicative of lack of acceptance of the Truth of God. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Reptyle(m): 8:02pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Hathor5: Yes I can. Once again, it is not the gravity of the offence but the mindset towards offence. One good head can keep a marriage. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Hathor5(f): 8:06pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Reptyle: Then you have an extraordinary mindset. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Bostin(m): 4:35am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Reptyle:One good head can't keep a marriage , it's takes two to tangle . You can't change who is not ready for change , you can't accept who doesn't value your acceptance . |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Firstgradetutor: 7:51am On Oct 27, 2021 |
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Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by MufasaLion: 8:10am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Reptyle: LMAO You will forgive a woman that did such things to you? I can never have someone like you in my circle. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Reptyle(m): 8:16am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Bostin:. That is the misconception...you are not in a marriage to change anyone. You are coming from a different upbringing, culture, personality and orientation to be with someone from a totally different upbringing, culture, personality and orientation. I think it is a bit presumptuous to think you can "change" such a person. Are you God? The best you can do in a marriage is to work on yourself to adapt your own peculiar personality to the other person's. The actual work is to change yourself as best as you can to be more tolerating, accommodating and receptive. The conflict always arises the moment we try to force the other party to bend to our whims. Therein lies the real "work" of marriage. When I say "one good head" can keep a marriage going, I am talking of someone that understands that marriage is 100% sacrifice; someone that understands they are not in the marriage to be served but to serve. With patience, dedication, commitment, sheer tenacity, all of those sacrifices ultimately pay off and a turbulent marriage can change for the better. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Klass99(f): 8:23am On Oct 27, 2021 |
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Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by Reptyle(m): 8:53am On Oct 27, 2021 |
MufasaLion: Fair enough. You have a right to surround yourself with friends of your choice. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by MufasaLion: 8:56am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Klass99: I don't like humans that are too weak emotionally especially males. When you are weak emotionally, you tend to make some irrational judgement. People like that see it as being selfless, but I see it as being foolish. I can't trust people like that because they would be the weak link in my circle. Moreover, I don't really know how to forgive. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by MufasaLion: 8:57am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Reptyle: Absolutely. I pick my friends, they don't pick me. |
Re: Marriage Is Not About Unconditional Love by crackhaus: 11:18am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Reptyle: |
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