https://www.nairaland.com/6839233/girlfriend-doesnt-know-mental-issues

I'm writing in response to the above thread

Dear Dude397,

The idea of revealing everything about oneself as well as one's past to one's partner seems like the moral thing to do when in a serious relationship.
In this case, it is the revealing of a previous mental health problem that is under consideration( Guy now stable for the past two years). In general something can be morally good to do but may come with avoidable consequence if secrecy was maintained, (especially if its secrecy isn't a case of covering something immoral, at least in this case)
.
Remember it is moral for Abram to tell the truth when A king asked if Sarah was his wife, but he lied and said Sarah was his cousin cos he feared he might be killed and her wife taken away from him cos she was extremely beautiful.This is taking the path of pragmatism over moral conscience. This guy's case is even of less moral stigma cos there's no one posing him a direct question of his sanity, unlike in Abrams case.

Secondly, with all due respect, it's common knowledge that women aren't especially pragmatic and emotionally strong to handle certain truth when it comes to relationship because, women are known to prioritise the financial potential, physical fitness and intellectual acumen of a man when considering him for a long-term stint. We see how women reject suitors for these reasons and are never remorseful about it.

Practically no beautiful woman with spousal options will want to genuinely associate with a man of mental or certain physical flaws except for pecuniary motive if the man is wealthy. In that case, her staying is borderline conditional to what she stands to gain, even few woman will consider u with pity. Women are extremely logical in choice of long-term man.
.
In this guy's case, as long as he's confident in his health, I feel he shouldn't tell his fiancee since he's noticeably stable for two years.
And If he's so naive he should know this today that women are expert at gas-lighting, and throwing needless emotional tantrum. So, his former mental health issue is therefore a fertile ground and straw for such display of manipulation as to break him down and to emotionally blackmail him to submission on occasion she feels slighted by him. It's a weapon women use all the time( No women is excluded in this regard)
Trust me you wouldn't want to be in that shoe where your mental health is being capitalised to knock you down every damn time for little offence by the woman you love. It can worsen ur mental health and make you lose your mind
cos it will come repeatedly at every whim.
Women have no self-control or verbal continence or moral compunction to desist from using such tactics against u even if u are now perfectly okay.
.
Let me give you a personal example.
An uncle of mine had mental issue in his mid-20s, It took over 5 years before he was stable. He stayed with us at a point. His family manipulated him so much for his health cos they out of concern want to influence all his life decisions because they felt he wasn't mentally trustworthy to make decisions, even when he was practically stable.He had to run away from them to buy his sanity and self esteem.

He started dating in his early 30s, and many ladies liked him, he was fine, never told them his mental past.I witness his marrying a Lagos single mom, who always insulted the hell out of him for little issue. I felt really bad for him. This woman will rain abuse on him nonstop for his lack of higher schooling, and for his lack of enough money, almost everyweek. Imagine if she knew of his mental past? He later divorced her (All women insult their husband, there's only grade to it, bear this in mind).
.
Remember no woman will ever reveal their paternity fraud to their husband because it's best kept secret, they never have moral conscience to reveal such immoral secret, and we have thousands of them in Nigeria today. Yet nothing is immoral about mental health that u already surmounted.
So why can't u live with ur mental past when u are even quite okay today. Why put yourself under emotional chain of your woman by telling her cos she will always use it against you to whip your self esteem.
.
And if she later got to know, it's easy to explain it away, since it's not some murder or something affecting you. At that point she wont have much issue especially if you have been normal over the years with kids.
Sometimes being pragmatic is not a bad thing, it can prevent certain avoidable headache

Stupidquestions:
https://www.nairaland.com/6839233/girlfriend-doesnt-know-mental-issues

I'm writing in response to the above thread

Dear Dude397,

The idea of revealing everything about oneself and past to one's partner seems like the moral thing to do when in a serious relationship. In this case, it is the revealing of a previous mental health that is under contemplation( Guy now stable for the past two years). In general something can be morally good to do but may come with avoidable consequence if secrecy was maintained, (especially if its secrecy isn't a case of covering something immoral, at least in this case)
Remember it is moral for Abram to tell the truth when A king asked if Sarah was his wife, but he lied and said Sarah was his cousin cos he feared he might be killed and her wife taken away from him cos she was extremely beautiful.This is taking the path of pragmatism over moral conscience. This guy's case is even of less moral stigma cos there's no one posing him a direct question of his sanity, unlike in Abrams case.

Secondly, with all due respect, it's common knowledge that women aren't especially pragmatic and emotionally strong to handle certain truth when it comes to relationship because, women are known to prioritise the financial potential, physical fitness and intellectual acumen of a man when considering him for a long-term stint. We see how women reject suitors for these reasons and are never remorseful about it.

Practically no beautiful woman with spousal options will want to genuinely associate with a man of mental or certain physical flaws except for pecuniary motive if the man is wealthy. In that case, her staying is borderline conditional to what she stands to gain, even few woman will consider u with pity. Women are extremely logical in choice of long-term man.
.
In this guy's case, as long as he's confident in his health, I feel he shouldn't tell his fiancee since he's noticeably stable for two years.
And If he's so naive he should know this today that women are expert at gas-lighting, and throwing needless emotional tantrum. So, his former mental health issue is therefore a fertile ground and straw for such display of manipulation as to break him down and to emotionally blackmail him to submission on occasion she feels slighted by him. It's a weapon women use all the time( No women is excluded in this regard)
Trust me you wouldn't want to be in that shoe where your mental health is being capitalised to knock you down every damn time for little offence by the woman you love. It can worsen ur mental health and make you lose your mind
cos it will come repeatedly at every whim.
Women have no self-control or verbal continence or moral compunction to desist from using such tactics against u even if u are now perfectly okay.
.
Let me give you a personal example.
An uncle of mine had mental issue in his mid-20s, It took over 5 years before he was stable. He stayed with us at a point. His family manipulated him so much for his health cos they out of concern want to influence all his life decisions because they felt he wasn't mentally trustworthy to make decisions, even when he was practically stable.He had to run away from them to buy his sanity and self esteem.

He started dating in his early 30s, and many ladies liked him, he was fine, never told them his mental past.I witness his marrying a Lagos single mom, who always insulted the hell out of him for little issue. I felt really bad for him. This woman will rain abuse on him nonstop for his lack of higher schooling, and for his lack of enough money, almost everyweek. Imagine if she knew of his mental past? He later divorced her (All women insult their husband, there's only grade to it, bear this in mind).
.
Remember no woman will ever reveal their paternity fraud to their husband because it's best kept secret, they never have moral conscience to reveal such immoral secret, and we have thousands of them in Nigeria today. Yet nothing is immoral about mental health that u already surmounted.
So why can't u live with ur mental past when u are even quite okay today. Why put yourself under emotional chain of your woman by telling her cos she will always use it against you to whip your self esteem.
.
And if she later got to know, it's easy to explain it away, since it's not some murder or something affecting you. At that point she wont have much issue especially if you have been normal over the years with kids.
Sometimes being pragmatic is not a bad thing, it can prevent certain avoidable headache

Wow I read this cover to cover. I really appreciate your take on this issue bro and it's very well noted. More grace and wisdom. Cheers

HOLLY GRAM REAL MATTERS. WTF MAN

Real matter!!