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Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It / Is It Wrong Or I Am Over Reacting / If A Woman Has Friends, Does It Mean She Will Be A Bad Wife? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nobody: 7:59pm On Dec 09, 2021
Klass99:
Let's not kid ourselves - you are not overthinking things, she is not a good person with a good heart or a good soul.

The fact that she had money in her account, but let all of you go to bed starving, including the fact that you 100% pay the bills without slacking off and she still does the things you mentioned only goes to show there's no love or kindness within.

The problem with majority of people who don't do honest work to earn a living (whether it is via business or salaried employment) is that, they take other people and things for granted, they also do not understand how money works.

Money comes and goes, but nothing beats good/reliable people in your life who will have your back in fair and foul weather. I won't advise you to talk to her, rather show her through actions, that kind of attitude will not be tolerated. Actions speak louder than words and she has shown you her's already, so speak the same language back to her.

Imagine for a second, what life would be like if you lost your income generating ability, through a prolonged illness or job loss. You would have no support system in her, this was just MTN network issues which lasted 24 hours and see what happened.


Listen to this, it will do you alot of good. A man's life is full of ups and downs.

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Mille: 7:59pm On Dec 09, 2021
Klass99:


Imagine for a second, what life would be like if you lost your income generating ability, through a prolonged illness or job loss. You would have no support system in her, this was just MTN network issues which lasted 24 hours and see what happened.

You just summed up the reason for my fear and resentment.

I have also been thinking of what my life will be after retirement without any tangible savings.

My belief in life is that people don't change. So you can imagine how my fears have heightened now. I have been thinking 32 years into the future.

8 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Mille: 8:03pm On Dec 09, 2021
Richy4:


You can't get all the package in one buddy.. U will agree with me that there are area in which u always commend her right?...
So try and manage the shortcoming part as well please...


I'm glad that u didn't want this on front page..
Cheers man...
[/color]

You get the drift. She is good for most parts that I would think I have the best woman in the world but there are sometimes I wonder if na charm they use for me.

Thanks for the advice. I guess I will gather more experience as I get older.

4 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nobody: 8:05pm On Dec 09, 2021
Palema007:
Oh I get it now... But did you ask her? I mean make a request.

Well all the same, talk to your wife. We don't know her, what could have prompted her actions or her orientation about marriage. Just talk things through, be more open and stop harbouring things that you shouldn't in your mind.

Bros how far you na??
He should ask his wife how??
So he should beg his wife to feed their daughter ba?? Her own flesh and blood o!! Someone she carried in the womb for 9months o, not someone that was adopted...So someone should beg her to take care of her daughter?... Na wa o...
Even if she doesn't want to spend on him maybe because of a misunderstanding they had, at least feed your own daughter!!!!
So, him that have been doing it in the past, did she use to ask him??

She knew the situation on ground and she had the resources to remedy that situation, yet she didn't...

If that is not stinginess at it's peak, then I don't what that is...

7 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by SKhanmi: 8:06pm On Dec 09, 2021
Why are you confused? That's who she is & nothing you would do will change that. Start maintaining a backup plan for rainy days she knows nothing about. Continue with your marriage but have it at the back of your mind that you are & always will be on your own. It's not enough to label her bad since most women fall into this category.

9 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nobody: 8:12pm On Dec 09, 2021
Mille:


And what should someone do if you have talked and there is still no changes?

Chief...
I don't know your wife o, buh from what you've said, I can assume that you have no backing and support in her when the financial chips are down...

So I would advise you to open a fixed deposit account and save like 3k - 5k every month from now till you retire so that you can start a business you can fall back on...

Cause if she can be like this now, then how will things be like when you lose your source of livelihood??

Buh in all you do...
Take care of your kids, don't neglect them on her account...

And try to bring up the matter again in the near future...

2 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by KAM3KAZI: 8:18pm On Dec 09, 2021
olabrinks:
I don’t like to spend money in my house too much but what bothers me is the fact she allowed her daughter to go hungry over night especially when she has money in her account. I’m really concerned about that as that is not normal at all. You need to be very weary about this, because these are signs that she may neglect her own daughter if times get hard. Very bad.
Ma'am this you said here is true but it also get as e be
So it's okay for her to let her husband go to bed even though she has some money with her knowing fully well what her husband did and is doing for her? sad

6 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nobody: 8:21pm On Dec 09, 2021
Favfables1:


Bros how far you na??
He should ask his wife how??
So he should beg his wife to feed their daughter ba?? Her own flesh and blood o!! Someone she carried in the womb for 9months o, not someone that was adopted...So someone should beg her to take care of her daughter?... Na wa o...
Even if she doesn't want to spend on him maybe because of a misunderstanding they had, at least feed your own daughter!!!!
So, him that have been doing it in the past, did she use to ask him??

She knew the situation on ground and she had the resources to remedy that situation, yet she didn't...

If that is not stinginess at it's peak, then I don't what that is...
Yes... He should have asked or suggested to her to take care of the bills that night. If she had refused then he would have been vindicated and it would have been easy to really call her out. Asking shouldn't really be a big deal for Op? Rather than pretend and sulk it all up till he was able to get his transactions done the next morning. To be honest he Is just as guilty as the mother for allowing the baby go to bed without food out of Pride.

BTW do you really think a baby can go to sleep hungry? Lol... Lemme just overlook that.

To me, the lady isn't bad. The fact that she still gets something for the dude whenever she goes out definitely shows she's not bad nor stingy. To me, she lacks some basic knowledge of running a family or Op is not telling us something.

1 Like

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by CAPSLOCKED: 8:22pm On Dec 09, 2021
Mille:
she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

RESPECTFULLY, SIR, YOU'RE MARRIED TO AN IDIOT. BUT DON'T WORRY THAT YOUR CASE IS THE WORST BECAUSE ONLY LESS THAN 2% OF MEN WORLDWIDE HAS IT DIFFERENTLY.

4 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Klass99(f): 8:38pm On Dec 09, 2021
.

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Richy4(m): 8:47pm On Dec 09, 2021
Mille:


You get the drift. She is good for most parts that I would think I have the best woman in the world but there are sometimes I wonder if na charm they use for me.

Thanks for the advice. I guess I will gather more experience as I get older.

Now that u know what you are dealing with, What is your next plan of action concerning the future... I mean.. savings.. investment etc..?

I will suggest that you spend prudently from now henceforth... Have some savings that might keep u afloat in rainy days..

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Acidosis(m): 8:54pm On Dec 09, 2021
Favfables1:


Chief...
I don't know your wife o, buh from what you've said, I can assume that you have no backing and support in her when the financial chips are down...

So I would advise you to open a fixed deposit account and save like 3k - 5k every month from now till you retire so that you can start a business you can fall back on...

Cause if she can be like this now, then how will things be like when you lose your source of livelihood??

Buh in all you do...
Take care of your kids, don't neglect them on her account...

And try to bring up the matter again in the near future...


3k dollars, right??


I had to ask cos 3k Naira every month for 30 years is roughly 1 million naira. In 30 years, 1 million Naira won't be able to buy a nice shoe.

A retirement savings plan shouldn't be less than 30k every month for the average salary earner.

1 Like

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by yuping(m): 8:58pm On Dec 09, 2021
Klass99:


Money comes and goes, but nothing beats good/reliable people in your life who will have your back in fair and foul weather. I won't advise you to talk to her, rather show her through actions, that kind of attitude will not be tolerated. Actions speak louder than words and she has shown you her's already, so speak the same language back to her.
I learned a lit but I don't think I will be applying it due to my nature.

Imagine for a second, what life would be like if you lost your income generating ability, through a prolonged illness or job loss. You would have no support system in her, this was just MTN network issues which lasted 24 hours and see what happened.
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by yuping(m): 8:59pm On Dec 09, 2021
Let her know your pain instead of your anger.
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by NovesaTillie(f): 9:03pm On Dec 09, 2021
Mille:


I hear you're considering polygamy grin

Yes you heard right grin grin grin grin
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nicepoker(m): 9:25pm On Dec 09, 2021
I only advice people during pre wedding pictures. grin
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by KusherAbel: 10:46pm On Dec 09, 2021
ogawisdom:
Lol

she doesnt believe in supporting his man financially.

you are wasting ur money opening a business for her except u dont mind if she doesnt support ur family from the biz.

whatever u do never ever go broke otherwise u will see ur ears with ur eyes.

Have plans A to F for making money n different reserve funds for the family.

By the way 95% of women are like dt, it's difficult for a woman to support their husband with their money.

In ur case i am shocked she let her daughter go to bed hungry, women don't play with their kids

Oga widom

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by olabrinks(f): 1:17am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:


You just summed up the reason for my fear and resentment.

I have also been thinking of what my life will be after retirement without any tangible savings.

My belief in life is that people don't change. So you can imagine how my fears have heightened now. I have been thinking 32 years into the future.
people do change. People change a lot. Change is constant. That’s something you need to tell yourself.
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by ednut1(m): 2:44am On Dec 10, 2021
Another cry cry married man

4 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by emerged01(m): 3:37am On Dec 10, 2021
ucheheart:
You are not alone my brother, Wives in this our generation are not just helpful. They come with entitlement mentality and most of them are very selfish, all they care about is themselves and their family members.
You for ask how old is the business or is the business booming. When you start a business you make it secure first before you can start incurring expenses that wont put it at risk. Dont be quick to judge this husband and wife matter,it is very sensitive.

1 Like

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by ekineme: 4:38am On Dec 10, 2021
The kind of comments I am reading here is making me question my sanity.

Where is the love? How can a single individual be so deceitful and fraudulent?.it is fraudulent marriage because the very sole reason it's supposed to be built upon(love) is obviously missing.

Maybe op was busy looking at big bumbum and fine face and refused to check character and her brain capacity, so he should enjoy the manifestation of his choice in peace.

@ OP, Own up to your actions, he who find a good wife....e get why this phrase is in the Bible.
Out of all the millions of women available on this planet, you picked a stingy one, maybe that's fate, but I called it bad choice.

7 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by abeniagbon(m): 4:50am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:
Just curious so I can stop worrying about it. ***NO FRONTPAGE PLEASE*** JUST HOPE TO GET SOME INPUT FROM EXPERIENCED MARRIED PEOPLE.

Married for close to two years now with a baby. My wife hasn't worked since partly due to a lack of suitable opportunities and the fact that we are alone where we stay with neither family present. She is a graduate of a private university and I've had to sponsor a skillet training which has been completed so she can open a business. We intend to wait until the baby is one before she opens the business which is a few weeks from now. So I'm 100% responsible for everything. She is not on any specific allowance but I purposely allow inflated bills so she can get some change from it. She is also involved in weekly contributions which I pay 90% of the time.

One thing I have noticed is that she will not help with any expenses around the house. Let say I'm cash-strapped for something we need to buy today, she'll pretend she doesn't have any cash and rather wait until I bring the money tomorrow than buy it for the family. She is currently doing so now and it is reinvigorating resentments I have for her.

One event actually caused the resentment. I will share it in the next post.

Give her good sex and she will give you all the money in her account
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by GboyegaD(m): 5:36am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:


Exactly what I was thinking. Of what use is opening a business for her if I'm not getting any benefits.

Mehn, I was shocked she did that and it was the main reason I lambasted her. My daughter only takes breast milk and adult food. She'll rather take water than cerealac. I already told my wife I'll never forgive that in my life.

Oga, no wound yourself ooo. Money for bank different from cash for hand ooo. If you do not forgive, it's on you. It is eating you deep and not her.

3 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by spice123(m): 6:06am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.
You're going through this simply because you were blinded by love not to discuss crucial things before you guys settled down.
I have always advised young men and women who want to get married to discuss bills.... NEPA, Waste management, gas, water, house rent, school fees, lesson fee for kids and so on. Bills are very important for married couples. Mr OP, get your wife a business, wait after 6 months for her to settle in the business then you sit her down and discuss bills who should pay what every month. For example: if you give her NEPA bill and she pretends not to have money, don't buy fuel for generator let her pay the bill or use her money to buy fuel.
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by spice123(m): 6:06am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.

You're going through this simply because you were blinded by love not to discuss crucial things before you guys settled down.
I have always advised young men and women who want to get married to discuss bills.... NEPA, Waste management, gas, water, house rent, school fees, lesson fee for kids and so on. Bills are very important for married couples. Mr OP, get your wife a business, wait after 6 months for her to settle in the business then you sit her down and discuss bills who should pay what every month. For example: if you give her NEPA bill and she pretends not to have money, don't buy fuel for generator let her pay the bill or use her money to buy fuel.
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by delzbaba(m): 6:34am On Dec 10, 2021
Signs of a failing marriage, your wife is only replicating what her mother did to her father

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Rickmann: 6:52am On Dec 10, 2021
Mariangeles:
She’s not a bad wife, she’s just stingy.
You can open up and try to talk to her about it.
Make her understand that you are not her father but her husband, and she’s obligated to support you in providing for the household in any way she can, no matter how little.

A stingy wife can kill you.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Rickmann: 7:04am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.

These kinda stories really baffle me..
How can a mother watch her 'baby' go to bed hungry?
You see, these are things I always advice guys to look out for during dating or courting.. Women are secretive but can't hide everything if you are a smart guy.. A stingy woman can sell her family bro..You would have known this from the start if only you were sensitive enough to put her to some tests.

Now ,You really must talk to her and ask her question why she is doing that..better still, place her on a little stipend periodically till she finds her feet and let's see where the problem is from.
Ur marriage is still young and this isn't healthy at all.

Thanks.

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nobody: 8:01am On Dec 10, 2021
I'm not surprised the wife is not bringing money

The fact is...she is not working yet. When you are not working..money becomes very very precious.

If the wife was working, I would have blasted her as an evil woman...but she is not working...so any money she has becomes like gold to her...even if it is one naira.
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by Nobody: 8:22am On Dec 10, 2021
Palema007:
Yes... He should have asked or suggested to her to take care of the bills that night. If she had refused then he would have been vindicated and it would have been easy to really call her out. Asking shouldn't really be a big deal for Op? Rather than pretend and sulk it all up till he was able to get his transactions done the next morning. To be honest he Is just as guilty as the mother for allowing the baby go to bed without food out of Pride.

BTW do you really think a baby can go to sleep hungry? Lol... Lemme just overlook that.

To me, the lady isn't bad. The fact that she still gets something for the dude whenever she goes out definitely shows she's not bad nor stingy. To me, she lacks some basic knowledge of running a family or Op is not telling us something.

Bro...
I won't try to shove my opinion down your throat...
However, if you go back to OP's second post, you'll see a place where he wrote and I quote "I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied that she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her..."

From the above, I can assume that he saw her bank balance...
Explained the situation about his account to her...((because he won't just wake up one day and tell her to provide for the house without some form of explanation))
Asked her to remedy the situation...
But she lied...
And he knowing she was lying saw no point in pursuing the matter...
((So yes, I think he's vindicated and yes, I think the woman is guilty...))

Please if my conjecture is incorrect, kindly explain yours...
You can go to OP's second post just so you're sure that I didn't make this up grin...((2nd post, paragraph 3, line 7 cheesy))

As for whether or not the baby went to bed hungry, I can't say for certainty, personally I don't think so, I think she allowed the baby disturb for a while and when she couldn't bear it anymore, she went and breast feed her...

From OP's write up...
I can say that, she's someone who is selfish, someone who doesn't have a sense of "family responsibility" & wouldnt hesistate to first bail herself before considering anyone else, including her supposed "better half"... I also agree with your conjecture that she lacks basic knowledge of running a family, and if both our conjecture is correct, who's to be blamed for her ignorance??
And just so you know, ignorance is no excuse to allowing your family to go hungry when you can help it...

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Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by heniford2: 8:34am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.
dude start keeping money aside keep secret money do not disclose your investment to your wife again and stop giving her too much money always calculate the amount you give and ensure that the money is used for it start buying food stuff stock in the house,she's making plans incase you break up with something to fall back at so level up. undecided if she can even starve your baby she's stupid do not invest in her again and make sure that her business run down undecided
Re: Am I Overthinking This Or I Really Have A Bad Wife by KefeeBRIGHT91(m): 8:39am On Dec 10, 2021
Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.

...I’m guessing you guys didn’t have discussions on finance management before committing to each other maritally. That’s the engine of every relationship. There’s something I always say...love is weakness. Not love in it self, the idea of being in love. Thinking because you’re in love you won’t cheat or get cheated on, won’t hurt or hurt someone, the mentality that because you’re there financially for your spouse, they will also be there for you as well. These are all fantasies. What you’re experiencing now is called reality. Normally I would have said these are signs you should have noticed while you love birds were still dating but then people change and that’s reality.

A wise spouse would guard against every eventuality, think 2 or 3 steps ahead. If not even for yourselves but for your child for goodness sakes. I for one wouldn’t let my daughter go to bed hungry. You don’t rely on people in absentia and you don’t apportion blames. You fix things and get them working. See there are ways you handle issues people might not like you, every one mustn’t, but they’ll respect you.
Don’t be deceived if anyone tells you on this forum that it wouldn’t happen again. It would bro, however the major concern would be what actions and counter actions are you going to put in place now to ward off such eventuality?
Please that Princess shouldn’t go to bed hungry again, if that happens next time, that’s on you!

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