Is it N1.2m or N120k per month?No man worth his manhood will be intimidated by a
paltry N120K May be she is not marriagable and managable!.She mounted a very high horse and her general character-cum-attitude is nothing to write home about.No sane man would sense danger later in d life of d marrige and yet come back to her.Let she tell herself d home truth.D exotic car,tastefully furnished 3-Bed room and her so-called fat salary are non issues!

OP your friend is just being scared of financially indenpendent women because he knows how scary they can be.I know this guy who depends on his woman for everything and this woman takes pleasure slapping him in public if he does something wrong and he also washes her pants and bra and cooks for her.Nigerian women can turn into monsters when they are the ones bringing the daily bread into the home.

She should take it easy. With a little more wisdom, her husband will come

macfarland:

@Poster,

I think behind 90% of every successful lady of that status is one powerful married CEO/MD man or married Abuja-Pot-Belly Senator man or Oil Tycoon dude somewhere who put her in that position or status. If a guy marries her today, he will end up being a figure head in d family cos the lady will most likely always fall or submit to the main man behind the scene of her success for some bleeping and other goodies. I have seen that happen everyday. That is just one main reason a sensible guy will always run away from such ladies or better still eat her money and drive her cars to scrap before he finally dump her.

Thanks a great deal for this. Glad to know that NL still has some real dudes with ears to the ground. And you're damn right with that 90% statistic. That's why I hardly respect most of these so called 'successful' working class women in this country. Only two categories of successful career/business women in Nigeria stand any chance of convincing me about how they earned their status (1) those that come from very wealthy families who obviously achieved all as a result of their background (2) extremely intelligent (but plain looking) women who are clearly geniuses in some technical or trade field. Other than these two categories, I am totally unimpressed with most of these so-called career ladies who sleep with one boss, customer, 'big man' or the other to get connections, promotions, jobs, capital for business, etc. You'd see them graduate from some obscure university with a fake 2.1, weak 2.2 or useless 3rd class degree, and yet they'll first get good jobs with banks and other blue chip companies while their more intelligent 1st Class/2.1 male counterparts rot away in the labour market. The same Womanliness they used to get the job is what they would use to retain their positions, meet their targets, get promotions, etc, And yet they would have the audacity to flaunt their Womanliness-tainted 'success' in a man's face and claim to be 'independent' women. . .and they wonder why no sane man wants to marry them? No sensible, self-respecting man would ever marry such despicable things.

upendo 98:

@MBG4Real

Are you for real?? First did you say am 18 and a baby?? oh pliz ok I wont comment on that.Always read btw the LINES before u pass judgement
By me saying am 81 let alone 18 as u hurriedly claimed.,Am trying to make her see that 28 is not very old since some women older are still on the field
Now you dont even know my age at all. sorry.
Another thing, are you saying the best advise is for her to SELL HER CAR  so that she can get a man ?? Get real.
Cant you even see what some REAL men are talking about here?
Seriously evrybody here makes sense except .
Finally oops soryy I dont stoop low to the point of insult.I am way too mature for that.
Just asking are you like the NL chief whip or something?? I dnt know for real. clarify.I would appreciate.
I read the moderators names up there daily.

That post is meant for the 18 years old. If i miss read your 81 as 18 then it is unfortunate. The message is not meant for you since you are not 18.  

However, she may not have to sell her car, it is not even what her friend advised. She said she should drop the car. Drop can mean many things other than sale.  To me, she can improve her chances of getting hooked up if she could stop or minimize leaving ostentatious life. Many  men are not comfortable with ladies that look like a rival rather than a wife.

tell her to send an e-mail to toyosiakindele@yahoo.com this lady in question perfectly fitted into your description of this your friends status but she got married two months ago at 39 as a senior manager with shell.She should be in a better position to counsel her.

@ Soprano.Phew thank you I had taken off before he catches me here
Now with encouragement am back.
@ Tom gosh ur friend gets slapped and washes what?   nkt.
Everybody here thinks exactly wht I was' kind of thinking'.Thts why I said there's a part missing in all this.
Infact this post reminded me of my village pit latrine.
If u go into a pit latrine,however smartly dressed you are theres that fly/flies (and dont say there r no flies pliz) that will somehow land on you not cz u stink or anything but coz you went into their territory  so they got a right to harass you.
I also thought traders meant smthing else.Well I love em traders but since they dont like her standard then she can leave that environ and go where her likes are.
I just hope shes got Character and humble regardles of wht shes got ie if she got it clean.

hmmmmmm, maybe she's being too desperate about it (lol, Desperate Chick). No, she should not sell her car but she shouldn't tell any guy that it's from her employers. Infact, as much as possible, the guy shouldn't see much of the car till the relationship is on a solid footing and he has come to terms with her financial status. Also, she should try giving him some responsibility in the relationship; to make him feel more manly and makerself look slightly dependent/submissive. like he picks her up and drops her off during dates, she lets him pick up the tab when the eat out (not always). She shouldn't dazzle him all out obce with her stuff, she should gradually introduce him to the fact of her financial standing.

@ MBG4REal
Ok Truce though I am more confused at whom you were directing your wrath too. But lets nt go there
I also misread that Drop for[b] sell [/b] but u know either way its putting it away just to attract men. Not very logical.
Imagine its you that just met her.of course with no car.
The moment she puts you 'in the box' then Voila! car emerges.Then you hear it was a gift from boss!! I would like to know hw u would take it.

@OP, why is your friend still single? What happened to all the men that were interested in her when she was younger? Every woman has had a time window when a lot of guys are interested i.e an age window when she is most desirable to men. What did she do with those opportunities?
Did she pass them up?

Sisters should realize that they have the power when they are younger and in their prime. They should make their hay while their sun is still shining. As they age, the mating advantage swings over to the men. Go to churches and see beautiful accomplished sisters praying desperately for God to send them guys.

My two cents!

@poster, tell ur friend I'm available for marriage. I like financially fulfilled chicks,

Send her nos or email to kennedyjaja@yahoo.com

Upendo there are nigerian men who are living as slaves to their wives and they have no choice since its the woman earning the money.

solomto, Please give me a number to call you, I have my own Money, but it seems like my relationship is having a problem. Is all about Character not Money, cause it is only Character that can sustain a man that ascend to the upward chamber's in life. Like Dr.Paul Enenche Of Dunamis Minstries Abuja, Said that if you lack favor, then you should check your character. I would very much appreaciate if you would let me give you a call, you can email me if necessarily, onoriodelucky@yahoo.com, 10KS.

Let's face it.

There are quite a number of established mature single ladies out there.I see them almost everywhere particularly in the church.

But most established guys prefer to get married to the ladies in humble circumstances perhaps to retain their egoistic nature.

@OP, I think your friend should just lay low a bit. I wouldn't recommend selling her car because it's a necessity but WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE DOING WITH A 3-BEDROOM FLAT IF SHE STAYS ALONE? THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE THE GUY WILL FIND INTIMIDATING. DOES SHE EVEN KNOW THAT IT'S NOT ADVISABLE FOR A SINGLE LADY TO BE STAYING ALONE? BUT LET'S ASSUME THAT SHE'S IN A DIFFERENT STATE FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

Well, her desperation could cause her to be too impatient which is a BIG TURN-OFF to guys. She should also watch her character bcoz nothing sounds more irritating than a desperately seeking mature single lady with a bad character.

Most importantly, she should trust God.

She should stay away from those "trader" types,those are the the of dudes that go for illiterate village girls,she needs to hang out in places where guys who are financially stable and educated hang out like book stores,coffee shops.

Dating a guy who isn't on her level financially,emotionally and mentally will only end up in breakup,abuse and divorce, most men like that are inferior and will end up mis treating her to make up for their low self esteem

upendo 98:

@ MBG4REal
Ok Truce though I am more confused at whom you were directing your wrath too. But lets nt go there
I also misread that Drop for[b] sell [/b] but u know either way its putting it away just to attract men. Not very logical.
Imagine its you that just met her.of course with no car.
The moment she puts you 'in the box' then Voila! car emerges.Then you hear it was a gift from boss!! I would like to know hw u would take it.

In the first place, I don't buy the idea of "It is a gift from Boss". If  she bought the car herself it won't bother me if I get to know later. It depends on how she will introduce it. According to your post before last, her character or behaviour matters. How does she carry herself in the mist of it all. She can tell the husband that she had a car, but wasn't so confident in driving, so she sent it to village, but now that she is married, she thinks it will be useful for both of them, so she wants to go get it. If her husband approves, then it is theirs and no longer hers alone.

I think the usual stereotype that female bankers are promiscious is a contributory factor as to why men are running away from her.However,that does not mean she can not be loved by a man.truth is,her time has not come cos when it does,she will find true love cos everybody has his or her own partner out there.prayer is the key.

.Now Mr.Real

It sounds very justified but is lying in dating a good foundation for your future marriage? Dont light a fire you cant put off!!
I have read several posts about truth in confessing and imagine wht would happen if yeah the lies last for a while then the husband get wind of the truth.
To lie that the car hs been in the village?? lol unless they live in space where nobody will whisper the truth.
I think the reaction from the guy later might not be very good.
I insist whoever meets her must see her as she is with all she has.

I hv gone thru all the replies here bt couldn't pick d best and i feel she wl b in a better position to knw the one she prefers. Am gonna introduce her to nairaland and tel her abt it so that she wl read all d replies by herself bcoz she might be hiding some certain thing frm me.

solomto:

I hv gone thru all the replies here bt couldn't pick d best and i feel she wl b in a better position to knw the one she prefers. Am gonna introduce her to nairaland and tel her abt it so that she wl read all d replies by herself bcoz she might be hiding some certain thing frm me.

good, who is that on ur profile picture? You

Donlittle:

good, who is that on your profile picture? You

her

She is single and she stays in a 3 bedroom flat - that is a little bit to flashy. If she drives a flashy car, then she should use an average car. I stay in a 1 bedroom flat and I drive a nissan sunny GTI 2.0.

If I meet a woman that dwarfs me in terms of money I will be tempted to look for a lady that is on the same level with me or has less than me. This is how we guys think! When a woman has more money than us, we tend to believe that she would become disrespectful and controlling.

Or she should only go for guys that are rich, they would be not have any worries about what she has.

just get me connected to her

solomto, your friend is beautiful, but the truth is, beauty without duty is non-sense. I gave you my email to drop me a line or should I say you should send me your FB name to my email, we can chat from there if you don't mind. I would like to get to know your friend, well the impression you first created was matchmaking her, I think with all the comments above has given you a second thought. Dear, there. Please send me an email: onoriodelucky@yahoo.com, I am not tripping cause she is a banker, I am an entrepreneur and same would goes to my spouse in the future. I don't give a damn about this white collar jobs that come and go. I believe in good ventures. Just email me, me and her can be friends and can benefit a lot from each other, knowledge wise.

QUOTE: "Don't Marry The Woman You Love, But Love The Woman You Marry"

I Think we ar missing somtin here, 120k p/m is not that big sum that will scare any responsible man away. remember an average inaga man in naija makes approximately 60k p/m.

also there are thousands of girls working in banks and are getting married daily.

i will advise she looks inward. those things she is looking at ar not the things that scare men away. she should look into her life style, Her character, check her ego=may be her little achievmnt has entered her head,she should check her physical size,(weight), also if she know she dont want to marry an uneducated treader, she should stop bringing them to her house as that may scare the humble educated once away.
I strongly do not advise young unmarried woman to use big cars. most men assume it was given to them by sugar daddy's

Most importantly she should be humble and very prayerful

@ op, tell her to rent her apartment out and go back to her family house,
not all men will like unmarried lady to be living alone,it do create a wrong
impression at times!

@olaisrich,
you are taking us back to old age,surely.
Here we are working hard to relieve our parents the burden of taking care of grownups and then your talking about a 28 year old going back to her parent's house?? yet she earns her own money.She ought to be supporting them not being fed at her age!
when its marriage fine she's taken from the parents house then they(couple) decide wht to do with her house if it wasnt rented.
And who said she will get a hubby once she goes back??
Do you knw that some men prefer women that know how to take care of themselves and have proved it?
Women that take care of their own bills and stuff? Theres a big diffrence btwn a woman still living wth parents and that taking care of her bills.
On that note. Please NOT all women are untrustworthy just cz thy live on their own you know.You should meet some of them.

It seems some Guys are scared of such ladies maybe cos of low self esteem,for me am game
i really appreciate them more cos they struggled and suceeded and not family stuff that always brings in pride,
she should hola me am in the S-East,08091014665

@olaisrich,
you are taking us back to old age,surely.
Here we are working hard to relieve our parents the burden of taking care of grownups and then your talking about a 28 year old going back to her parent's house?? yet she earns her own money.She ought to be supporting them not being fed at her age!
when its marriage fine she's taken from the parents house then they(couple) decide wht to do with her house if it wasnt rented.
And who said she will get a hubby once she goes back??
Do you knw that some men prefer women that know how to take care of themselves and have proved it?
Women that take care of their own bills and stuff? Theres a big diffrence btwn a woman still living wth parents and that taking care of her bills.
On that note. Please NOT all women are untrustworthy just cz thy live on their own you know.You should meet some of them.

@ upendo
you got it all wrong here! we may be living in a modern world,whether we like or yes,the reflection of our moral and cultural backgrounds still shining bright on us,let be realistic here,we may be conservative in dating,but when it comes to marriage then it's necessary to cross every 't's and dot every 'i's. Though the condition might not applicable to every ladies,but even a lot of families see it honourable for there daughters to be married out from their domains than to be living alone.Also,a great lot of would be suitors can as well see it as door-opener for any dick and harry. It is ladies we are talking about here, the examples you gave above here is applicable to men,the fact she can comfortably pay her bills does not suggest that she should rent an apartment.