dustydee:

Any man that is intimidated by a womans success is not man enough for that woman. I will advise her to be prayerful and humble and also show signs of submisiveness. No man will want to marry an arrogant lady.

pro01:

It's funny how we like to arrive at such simplistic conclusions. . .words like 'intimidated', 'insecure', 'inferiority complex', and 'low self-esteem' do not do really address the heart of the issue - if anything, they merely make the woman in question feel better about herself.

The truth is that no sane man would be 'intimidated' by the mere fact of a woman's success - in itself. The fact that a woman is successful (or in simple, straight-forward terms: has MONEY) is not in itself what scares men away. Rather, it is the notion that such women OFTEN tend to be disrespectful and unsubmissive to their husbands - especially when the husbands are on the same or lower financial standing. Lets get this fact very very clear.

In most parts of Africa (including Nigeria), the issue of the man being the head of the home is taken VERY seriously; society expects the man to be the provider for his home, and for his wife and children to accord him full respect and submission in line with his headship. But experience has shown that in situations where the wife earns as much as or even more than the man, she becomes uncontrollable, and overtly challenges the man's authority. This is a fact, and most African men cannot tolerate this.

Secondly, even if the man is willing to tolerate the fact that his wife is the breadwinner in their marriage, he must deal with the INEVITABLE societal scorn that neighbours, relatives, in-laws and friends would visit on him (e.g 'na im wife dey feed am oh'; 'na im wife dey pay their house rent oh, 'u dey call yourself man. . .u wey your wife dey give money', etc.). These are very real challenges faced by such unfortunate men whose wives are richer than. The rest of us see these things everyday. I know of my friend's neighbour whose wife locks out of the house and seizes the car key whenever they have a fight, why? She pays the rent and bought the car. . .and the man is the very queit type oh. These things are too rampant, and sensible men know this. Even women who are pampered and provided for by their men still try to manipulate and dominate them, let alone a women who pays the bills. Let's face the damn truth: it is almost impossible for a more successful wife to be loyal, submissive and respectful to her husband. That is the crux of the matter. It has very little to do with intimidation, inferiority complex, or insecurity. Throwing such words around does not address the real issues. What does 'insecurity' mean? When a person's fears are unfounded, then yes we can say he is 'insecure'. But when such fears are genuine, rational, and their occurrence is almost inevitable, then to what extent can you say the person is 'insecure' or 'intimidated'? People misuse these words too much these days.

Patsey:

@ Da Doctor: What's the shouting about?

@ Poster: Potential suitors, in my opinion, may not be scared by how rich these comfortable sisters are, but with the source of their comfort/wealth. Many of us are too familiar with stories of how these sisters working in Nigerian banks allegedly  'sleep' around with potential depositors in order to meet set targets. Who would want to end up with these so-called comfortable sisters who might continue to ply their trade even after the wedlock?

BABE!:

It's coz of their yeye Ego. The funny thing is they can't even back it up---sad!

Tell your friend to aim higher--senators, ministers and co-- you understand now, those kind of paroles. Birds of a feather flock together. Egbe eye le'ye wo to. Tell her to avoid Gala hawkers and them people.

sleekman:

Is this the same male bashing babe? What level of bush meat are you now? Bush Pig? No to expensive. Grasscutter? No to sweet. Rabbit? probably rabbit or maybe 'ovbiotor' (bush rat). U better tie a man down now O. Otherwise u'll be 45 and forcefully luring.

Dude you're still on my case? let it go! Learn to forgive and forget.

birdman (m)
htown
Posts: 453

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  Re: Why Do Bachelors Avoids Financially Comfortable Spinsters.?
« #104 on: Today at 05:04:32 AM » 

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Why compare yourself with the "black man in jail". What has he done to you  . How about you compare yourself with other educated men/women of any color. you. Abi fear dey catch you?
Pls dont shoot the messenger.

t[b]om28 (m)
Posts: 698

Online

  Re: Why Do Bachelors Avoids Financially Comfortable Spinsters.?
« #116 on: Today at 09:28:43 AM » 

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Strong black women is a term mostly used by black american women and it means being loud and rude in public. A strong black woman in our african term is a woman who is always there for her husband and her kids and if u are the rude and arrongant type of lady u not a strong black woman but a clueless black woman.[/b]

kalokalo:

I'm glad that women are learning the HARD way that it is not their "credentials" that attract men i.e high income, multiple degrees, good job etc. While society has changed[/b]and women now have access to all these things that used to be the preserve of men, [b]biology has not changed and will not change what qualities men are naturally attracted to.

As far as many men are concerned, a woman's youthfulness, innocence, character, humility, beauty triggers a subconscious and more POWERFUL attraction in men than any woman with the best degrees, highest income or high flying career or "experience". Biology dictates what men are attracted to and not society. While women are attracted to success in men, men are NOT necessarily attracted to all those things in women!

So women should forget all this nonsense about their success intimidating men when it is their innate qualities that is attractive (at least for me.) and those I already mentioned.

BABE!:

Dude you're still on my case? let it go! Learn to forgive and forget.