upendo 98:

can u feel romantic when your signing the prenup? see thts the purpose of the thread.All the reasons given are true and justifiable.

upendo 98:

I think a post nup comes as an 'after'.Where you both know you need the prenup,but just so as not top spoil the flavour of your honeymoon you decide well we shall do the post after we'v adjusted. And tht is say a year or 2 later

upendo 98:

can u feel romantic when your signing the prenup? see thts the purpose of the thread.All the reasons given are true and justifiable.
I think a post nup comes as an 'after'.Where you both know you need the prenup,but just so as not top spoil the flavour of your honeymoon you decide well we shall do the post after we'v adjusted. And tht shld be say a year or 2 later

upendo 98:

see the prenup is supposed to protect your assets good.
the postnup comes to prevent a divorce. chances of her getting divorced wl make her sign the postnup.
Why is post nup necessary?
say u inherit some wealth from some old relative of urs and lets say your living wth your second wife. you decide to give the wealth to the kids in the first marriage but she refuses to agree wth u.
in tht case then shes likely to face the divorce courts.its you either sign and agree or face the court which in most cases may rule in your favour.

upendo 98:

see the prenup is supposed to protect your assets good.
the postnup comes to prevent a divorce. chances of her getting divorced wl make her sign the postnup.

upendo 98:

Why is post nup necessary?
say u inherit some wealth from some old relative of urs and lets say your living wth your second wife. you decide to give the wealth to the kids in the first marriage but she refuses to agree wth u.
in tht case then shes likely to face the divorce courts.its you either sign and agree or face the court which in most cases may rule in your favour.

upendo 98:

This is how am reasoning. You dnt have to call off a wedding to a partner of your choice just cz she/he refused to sign the prenup.
You still have the option of a post you know. If she thinks it will 'kill' romance (thts her way of thinking nt urs) then marry her.
Now the moment you see cracks that are getting bigger and bigger then tht would be the best tyme to bring up the postnup topic.
Theres no compromise there since you are both staring at a divorce.
Now knowing the risks involved and how much she stands to lose after divorce, she will definately sign the papers.
At the end of the day,thers not much diffrence btwn the pre and the post. The diffrence is in the timing and the purpose but still your treasured assets remain protected.
postnup as i said is also good cz of those assets we inherit since they are viewed as separate properties. unless u wish to make them family assets,they remain separate. prenup doesnt cover wht you inherit after u said I do.
postnup also help if both of u engaged in a family business tht generates income for the family. see, the post nup will ensure the business continues without disruptions even when u separate or divorce.
So in the end its either pre or post. They both guard you assets. What you shouldt do is turn off a wedding cz she or he refused to sign.

upendo 98:

This is how am reasoning. You dnt have to call off a wedding to a partner of your choice just cz she/he refused to sign the prenup.
You still have the option of a post you know. If she thinks it will 'kill' romance (thts her way of thinking nt urs) then marry her.
Now the moment you see cracks that are getting bigger and bigger then tht would be the best tyme to bring up the postnup topic.
Theres no compromise there since you are both staring at a divorce.

upendo 98:

i was getting ready to clarify tht.
which woman would want a divorce? she will definately lose her marriage . now thts something.
see, i said the post comes to 'save' a marriage. You really dont want a divorce you want to make it work! But if you cant make it work then you face the divorce.
You dont lose money,you lose the marriage

upendo 98:

And if u lose the marriage then u lose some few things too. you may nt get half of everything especially if u came wth basically nothing! so yeah theres reason to fear.

upendo 98:

And if u lose the marriage then u lose some few things too. you may nt get half of everything especially if u came wth basically nothing! so yeah theres reason to fear.

upendo 98:

@ sagamite and crew. Are we getting married here to Divorce??
Of course not! But is there any chance of it happening? of course.
Now help a woman love you by not forcing her to sign a prenup!! If the marriage doesnt work say a year or two later then a post nup comes in handy.
Questn is.Which woman in her right mind wouldnt like to give her marriage a try ,u know work hard to see it happen?
So the reason she has to sign the post is not to make you happy that your assets are safe,No.its coz sh eknws if she doesnt sign it then its divorce.
Nobody wants a divorce but it happens.But before it 'happens' you must have not 'liked' it!!!!

2buff:

Yeah Sag I think she's just enjoying seeing us arguing against the obstinately illogical, 
basing the cold,  hardness of reality on the fairy tale concepts of love.   

either that, or she doesn't know her own gender that well.

upendo 98:

no you guys re just being hard on women

All am saying is a woman is diffrent from the man especially wth issues of feelings.
I am a very mature lady and I know all am talking about.
Forget about the lovely dovey childish feelings.Reality is diffent and in marriage you dont always feel that way. I kp saying
So, I am not ignorant of wht your saying here.

upendo 98:

I just want u to understand that this lady getting married loves you and doesnt want you to make her feel like shes coming to suck up your money u know,
You want to feel other things and not agreements.It's like talking about bills when your having sex.Thts killing the passion.
So this prenup talk kills the passion before marriage.
Thts why you ahoul keep silent hoping all will be well.After all u dnt intend to separate.
The moment you start noticing how she's put on weight, the thts the right time to bring up the postnup.bcz thats the start of the fall of any mariage.

upendo 98:

@sagamite sagamite

Note this pliz; I am a woman.If married the last thing I want is a divorce.I will be lying if I said that it cannot happen.
When does post nup come? when the marriage has hit rockbottom and all i see is divorce.
Now me being a  woman,I dnt wnat to see it happen.So wht do I do? I purpose to patch the cracks up be4 the postnup is effected.
In other other words am preventing a likely divorce from happening by working hard and not signing it.(take it as a weapon of mass destruction)
Is it clear now?
A post nup is meant to 'save a marriage.Prevention is better than cure. And note this:  the reason you are marrying is so as you stay.Not separate. Now work hard towards making that 'stay'happen.
Now if we dont patch up the cracks then yeah we sign it up and step! It makes sence then cz by then you really hate each other and no amount of talking can help you out.
What is worse to lose?? A MARRIAGE OR MONEY??

Dont even bother to answer I already know your answers!

Sagamite:

What happens if she refuses to sign the post-nup?

What bargaining chip do you have to make her sign one if you don't sign a pre-nup?

upendo 98:

Most marriages today have a short lifespan cz people fear to speak out the truth while dating. the fear of spoiling the relationship or being rejected,so u go in there blindly thinking tht the lovely dovey feeling will put bread on the table,pay bills,and sort out evry other problem. now thts the fairy tale smbody mentioned.
Theres nothing wrong with adjusting to the system.really who can u even trust today apart from your own mother? the real person comes out after the wedding.
thts when u wish u hd signed all these things. its unfortunate tht the greedy ones have messed it up 4 evrybody else. now its better to be safe thn sorry.

thameamead:

Ashley Young the Aston Villa footballer cancelled his £200,000 wedding last weekend because his childwood sweet -heart refused to sigh a pre-nup,  wow, it is shocking, poor girl she probably was not happy with her financial package, a pre-nup is daunting, you both get your lawyers going back and forth to made ammends which takes a couple of weeks to prepare, one of the reasons why some wealthy man refuse to marry long term girls because they can't bare to hand over their fortune to gold diggers, lawyers representing whoever is seeking payment always want half of everything and women like to take the men to the cleaners especially when thay have bn cheated on or bn traded for a younger women, "hell hath no fury like a woman dumped", i remember reading an article in which donald trump ex wife ivana trump was quoted "remember girls, don't get mad,  take everything"

Sagamite:

You see? That is why I am so attractive and desirable to most women. I am blunt and straightforward. I drop it like is hawt!

This woman, you know some juicy gist o!

I have a new found respect for Ashley Young. Now every time I see him on TV, I am going to form a fist with my right hand and hit my chest in the heart area 3 times and then point to him as a ritual of respect. If she refuses to sign a pre-nup, tell her to take a hike.

My money should have nothing to do with our relationship. If anyone decide to leave a relationship, you can be upset but no financial payment should be demanded.

Once I set up a pre-nup, the only amends I would make is if her lawyers can prove that the first draft will lead to her losing some resources or money she worked for or could have got, and somehow I have innocuously not figured it into the initial calculations. Not we-want-more-money negotiations. I will not be negotiating how she can get more money than she is entitled to above what I have initially, generously offered.

Asking me for more money will just irritate me and point out her gold-digging and cunning potential, which will make me more weary. A pre-nup is just a state that indicates the minimum she will get, if divorce happens, I might go above board and offer her more if she had been a good wife that is worth it.

Ashley is smart to sign a prenup but I thought he was pretty dump to be marrying at 25. If you are that young, rich and famous and you know women will be flinging themselves at you, why marry so early? That is how they end up cheating and then have themselves all over the paper like Rooney. They all need to learn from Eddie Irvine and Dwight Yorke.