It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni).

There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship.

Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it.

Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways.

And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike, so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time.

Please what do I do?

We have similar stories ......


While reading.... I was thinking she wrote this using a male Monika...


How did I overcome this.... I sat back and self evaluate my future and tried to consider everything about us...


I've learned that, a woman who cheats or double date, will likely do this in marriage..... You need to get yourself a new lady.... And try not to compare her with your ex. Also be bold to tell all the people that knew the both of you that the relationship is over....

I love my new wife to be and I was speaking on phone with a friend and he asked of my ex.... My woman heard and wanted to feel bad... I cleared my guy instantly...


Move on... Plan your life and let relationship to be the least thing on your mind ..

There is nothing wrong with you OP, a memory of an Ex whom you dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school is not beans. It would take 5 years of another person to erase it. So please keep calm, it is perfectly normal.

What you need is new memories to cancel out the old ones.

Find someone else and move on, In the next 5 years you should have new memories.

If you guys were sexually involved, it may be the soul ties playing out. Focus on Jesus, he'll lead you to the peace which passes all understanding

Popo di popo di po love

Jigi jigi jigi bambam man


Indomie generation will not understand

You still wanna have sex with her.

It's a normal phenomenon. You dated her for a decade, imagine from secondary till you graduated from university. That's like a marriage that hit an unavoidable cul de sac.
The truth is that it will take time, yes! It might even last for a lifetime but you have to caution your mind each time to stop thinking about her. You know what? If you can't control it just manage it because she's already a part of you.
The only thing is that the tension will erase with time but on some days, her thoughts might engulf you whether you like it or not, this also happens to her unless she never loved you.
In all keep moving on.

Make new memories

Take your mind off her and you'll be fine,even if it's not really easy.


Pele

Menhhh...am currently facing the same issue now..dated for 5years, broke up 2years ago but whenever I see her or her pics, boom! I become unease, unsettle, and kind of scared..really dnt know why..
sometimes, thought of her just come's into my mind..

Take it easy guy, nothing is wrong with you. 10 years or more is not what both of you can forget. As it is affecting you, so she is....

Consider relocating if you can...that might help you. Block her on your social media accounts if you are self determined to erase her memories. Believe me, it's not going to be easy.

Talk about her to everyone that cares to listen.

U will be fine las-last.

Just remember that life goes on...you have to forgive her not for her to come back for the sake of humanity. if you truly love her...you have to let her go and as for those memories, its normal to feel that way....

In the course of falling in and out of love, there will be that one person that you will always love, that will always have a place in your heart, regardless of whether you end up with them or not. And it is OK.
I also believe that you simply cannot stop loving a person you've truly loved, unless they give you a reason(s) to.

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you still love someone you once loved.
It only makes you nervous/anxious when you deny or try to fight the feeling. Relax and let it.
With time, it'll slowly fade into a memory without you even realizing it. Especially when a greater love comes.

You would outgrow it.

I am glad that tou acknowledge that it was naiveity and one day, she won't have any effect on you.

Try a new relationship and you would realise that the things you valued about her are not as valuable as you thought they were.

It's funny how the people sharing this experience on the thread are males yet this same gender will be forming hard life on Nairaland. Weak men everywhere hiding under fat biceps and keyboard

Acidosis:

It's funny how the people sharing this experience on the thread are males yet this same gender will be forming hard life on Nairaland. Weak men everywhere hiding under fat biceps and keyboard

Who is this impersonator? Give acidosis his phone

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni). There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship. Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it. Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways. And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike,so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time. Please what do I do?

Time heals all wounds.

Find someone who deserves you and soon she will be a bad mistake from your past!

This is a normal thing.

One of the reason you still feel for her is because, you guys bonded well and had beautiful memories...

Lastly, you haven't found special person since she left you, if not you might have forgotten about her and focus on the present one

You dated somebody's daughter for 10 years? Both of you need some strokes of the cane seriously!

Hmmm

Mariangeles:
In the course of falling in and out of love, there will be that one person that you will always love, that will always have a place in your heart, regardless of whether you end up with them or not. And it is OK.
I also believe that you simply cannot stop loving a person you've truly loved, unless they give you a reason(s) to.

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you still love someone you once loved.
It only makes you nervous/anxious when you deny or try to fight the feeling. Relax and let it.
With time, it'll slowly fade into a memory without you even realizing it. Especially when a greater love comes.

Well said, and lastly, I guess he hasn't found a new girl he truly love like the ex

Move on

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni). There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship. Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it. Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways. And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike,so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time. Please what do I do?

Don't jump into a new relationship to feel better. It's not fair on the new lady.


Talk it out. Taaaaaaaaaalk.

Find a friend who's willing to listen, if he's not willing, find someone else until you get it out of your chest.

The plans you had, your hopes that she dashed, eeeeverything. It's therapeutic.

You're free to post things you're feeling somewhere, it's your social media space, it's a means of journalling. When you're healed, you'll look back and laugh even if you don't feel like laughing right now.

Take your time, don't rush yourself to heal, be kind to yourself, she pulled the plug, not you, she didn't believe in working things out with you, so don't blame yourself. Be kind to yourself, because if you don't love yourself,who will?



Above all, dive into your goals, and reinvent yourself. Look for self development videos and articles and follow them.


This phase you're going through has been experienced by millions of people and they have come out on the other side. You won't be an exception.

P. S. Please remind all other men who are forming hard up and down that we're all humans.

P. P. S. Lots of people are hiding humongous amounts of pain so don't let anyone put you down. Keep living one day at a time. Good luck.

wunmi590:


Well said, and lastly, I guess he hasn't found a new girl he truly love like the ex

I believe so too.

ezugegere:
You dated somebody's daughter for 10 years? Both of you need some strokes of the cane seriously!

Please don't beat someone who is down. It's painful enough already.

JovialJune:



Who is this impersonator? Give acidosis his phone

Acidosis:

It's funny how the people sharing this experience on the thread are males yet this same gender will be forming hard life on Nairaland. Weak men everywhere hiding under fat biceps and keyboard

Normal normal...

Men are the ones who love, while women accept with care...As care givers.

The one who loves will be the one who opens such thread na.

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni). There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship. Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it. Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways. And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike,so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time. Please what do I do?

Improve on yourself, and work on your flaws.

Then, open your heart to love the next good looking and nice lady..You won't know when you will forget her(ex) totally.

One can always avoid being in your kind of situation, so do not allow anyone to deceive you into thinking that the unfortunate place you have found yourself is a standard - it can only be for small-minded people. To avoid experiencing it from another woman, master the act of connecting in bond with a woman of interest mentally rather than emotionally. One can only find himself in your kind of unfortunate situation when he/she falls in love, not when he loves. Those who love (selflessly or because of the quality of the soul of the person they are involved with) do not fall in love and those who fall in love do not love selflessly or because of the quality of the soul of the person they are involved with but because of what they gain or envisage gaining physically/materially.

When you love someone selflessly or because of the quality of their soul, your connection with them will automatically be mentally and only their death can break you not their treachery or other petty attitudes which will always rather cause you to gradually lose every form of neural connection you might have formed with them before the permanent separation.

Altruism neutralizes the negative effects of expectations, and conscientiousness makes disappointment/setback ineffective.

Munzy14:

Normal normal...

Men are the ones who love, while women accept with care...As care givers.

The one who loves will be the one who opens such thread na.

Really

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni). There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship. Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it. Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways. And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike,so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time. Please what do I do?

Just let it have its course. If you try to fight it, it will only get harder. You have made a lot of memories that are almost difficult to forget but be sure you will make better and more beautiful memories. You are still healing.

Relationships sometimes are messy because of us. Work on yourself, be a better person for a better lady. Don't rush into a relationship to forget her, be patient to find the right one.

Finally, make new friends so you won't be limited to your mutuals.