Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni).

There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship.

Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it.

Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways.

And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike, so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time.

Please what do I do?

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni).

There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship.

Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it.

Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways.

And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike, so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time.

Please what do I do?

Saintmary:


Don't jump into a new relationship to feel better. It's not fair on the new lady.


Talk it out. Taaaaaaaaaalk.

Find a friend who's willing to listen, if he's not willing, find someone else until you get it out of your chest.

The plans you had, your hopes that she dashed, eeeeverything. It's therapeutic.

You're free to post things you're feeling somewhere, it's your social media space, it's a means of journalling. When you're healed, you'll look back and laugh even if you don't feel like laughing right now.

Take your time, don't rush yourself to heal, be kind to yourself, she pulled the plug, not you, she didn't believe in working things out with you, so don't blame yourself. Be kind to yourself, because if you don't love yourself,who will?



Above all, dive into your goals, and reinvent yourself. Look for self development videos and articles and follow them.


This phase you're going through has been experienced by millions of people and they have come out on the other side. You won't be an exception.

P. S. Please remind all other men who are forming hard up and down that we're all humans.

P. P. S. Lots of people are hiding humongous amounts of pain so don't let anyone put you down. Keep living one day at a time. Good luck.

DreamSonInlaw:


You are an amazing human

babavik:
When I see or hear about guys dating for 3-4years I wonder how you people do it.
Am not a player but the longest I have ever stayed with a girl in a real relationship is 2 months.
How do you guys do this without being bored or feeling caged or restricted?

Kingkyle1:
It's a normal phenomenon. You dated her for a decade, imagine from secondary till you graduated from university. That's like a marriage that hit an unavoidable cul de sac.
The truth is that it will take time, yes! It might even last for a lifetime but you have to caution your mind each time to stop thinking about her. You know what? If you can't control it just manage it because she's already a part of you.
The only thing is that the tension will erase with time but on some days, her thoughts might engulf you whether you like it or not, this also happens to her unless she never loved you.
In all keep moving on.

Acidosis:

It's funny how the people sharing this experience on the thread are males yet this same gender will be forming hard life on Nairaland. Weak men everywhere hiding under fat biceps and keyboard

nameo:


Baba, shebi you know wan marry las las abi?

Lolz

Deanxy1:
And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike, so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time.

Please what do I do?

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni).

There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship.

Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it.

Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways.

And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike, so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time.

Please what do I do?

amaham:
If you guys were sexually involved, it may be the soul ties playing out. Focus on Jesus, he'll lead you to the peace which passes all understanding

nameo:


Oh!! You gat it too.

That was one of the best comments i have read on NL in a long time.

And it must have come from a person with some depth @saintMary

nameo:


Hi, i just followed you.

Thank you.

This here would be my exact advice

Saintmary:


Thanks.

Embracing your own pain will give you compassion for others who are in pain too.

Running from it will make you impatient with others. You'll think you're moving on, but you're only postponing your enlightenment.

That's the motivation for my reply.

Munzy14:

Normal normal...

Men are the ones who love, while women accept with care...As care givers.

The one who loves will be the one who opens such thread na.

nameo:


Oh k.... that came from reflections from personal experience.

Still, there is something deep there. I recognized it. And believe me, i usually do.

Whatever it is should be given the chance to bloom and bless the world. You should really think about it.

Have a great day

Deanxy1:
It has been almost two years now since I broke up with my Ex whom i dated for almost a decade since when we were in secondary school up until we both graduated from uni ( we went to separate uni).

There were so many things that happened leading up to the break up. We kept having one issue to the other and we were quarreling almost on a weekly basis for the last two years of the relationship.

Amongst the many issues, one which stand out was her dating another guy. It started with her denying they were dating to when she could actually post his picture on snap and other social media handle and that was the height of it.

Friends told me to cut her loose but I couldn't and the whole toxic thing continued ( in retrospect, it was just naivety ). So little by little the love she had for me waned and I became tired of the whole thing and we just stopped talking and went our separate ways.

And it's been two years now but each time I run into her or see her picture, my mind skips. This has continued to happen ever since we broke up. I had long cut any form of contact with her but our childhood friends are kind of alike, so sometimes there's always that possibility of bumping into her or her picture from time to time.

Please what do I do?

Mariangeles:
In the course of falling in and out of love, there will be that one person that you will always love, that will always have a place in your heart, regardless of whether you end up with them or not. And it is OK.
I also believe that you simply cannot stop loving a person you've truly loved, unless they give you a reason(s) to.

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you still love someone you once loved.
It only makes you nervous/anxious when you deny or try to fight the feeling. Relax and let it.
With time, it'll slowly fade into a memory without you even realizing it. Especially when a greater love comes.

nameo:


Oh!! You gat it too.

That was one of the best comments i have read on NL in a long time.

And it must have come from a person with some depth @saintMary

Saintmary:


Awwwwn thanks.

DreamSonInlaw:


For real, the intelligence sips through, the way she took her time..you know she's really caring.
But all those qualities should not make you want to speed pass me..you don get advice, dey your dey �

nameo:


Lolz..... my guy, you are free to speed pass me o. Carry go in fact. I am presently, mentally, not in the space of any of that due to recent personal events.

But when I have the time , would like to be her friend. Like to pick that mind of hers @saintmary