pompeiimagnus:


As a salary earner who can lose his job anytime, there’s nothing wrong with financial planning with his intended wife. I am very happy he brought up this discussion right now before their marriage. Children’s school fees alone has gulped that 300k in one term if he really wants a nice school.

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

nuelyoyo:
@bigpicture001, the only thing you shouldn't have included in the list of her financial obligations towards the family is the 20k monthly for vacation. But if she had the mind of contributing to the family, she would have negotiated the list and complained of the ones sha ain't cool with.

For her to have gone cold and stylishly left the relationship shows she has the mentality that a man must shoulder all the responsibility. She and Uyi are in the same WhatsApp group.

NigeriaIsGreat:
My mum and dad are very much together and my mum hawk. I mean hawk to support the family. Throughout her lifetime before marriage she never hawked. She couldn't afford her new family go hungry without contributing her quota.

No woman, i repeat no woman will watch her hubby does absolutely everything without lifting a finger. Earn her trust and see how things goes smoothly

Our forefathers aren't a dictatorship, Yet their wives contributed their quota immensely. Why? They earn their trust as responsible men.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

dingbang:
I have an issue with number 4.


Her salary cannot support her minusing 20kmonthly from 80k for vacation .. The vacation is not that important.


She has a valid reason for opting out. Find another woman who earns higher so you dont kill yourself.

myfantasies:
Me that can't even lend my own self money

UyaiIncomparabl:


Any man that cannot provide for his family 100% has no business getting married in the first place. This is why I love my Igbo men. They provide for their women without nagging. God bless the responsible Igbo men in the world. The rest can take several seats.

Mariangeles:


Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

arewaseye:


The truth of the matter is no woman would want to hear this kind of thing. You are not yet married you have started dividing bills. It sends a wrong signal to the woman. It is a man's responsibility to provide for his family. You don't need to spell it out, a good wife knows she must support her husband.

Oga don't let anyone deceive you here ooo. No woman would agree with this thing you are carrying upandan.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

NigeriaIsGreat:
You are the man, soon to be head of family. You sounding like a dictatorship

You should be responsible for your family upkeep man. You are even demanding her to chose nepa bill or Dstv/govt Haba! You used your hand to chase that girl trust me

No woman working, earning something that won't contribute to her family. I mean no woman. Women contribute their quota in marriage guy

Would you share the house chores with her? She carry pregnancy for months, risk her life birthing a child and nurture the child with sleepless night

You are a man guy and it is expected of you to be responsible for your family. I wouldn't be surprised if you give her some part to pay for her marital rite to her parents/family

Women are help mate guy. You need to earn her trust by being responsible for your family wellbeing. She'd naturally come in trust me.

Go out man and see women hustling, hawking left, right and centre. All these are for the family trust me. You need to earn her trust not being a dictatorship

Men who had women contributing in the upkeep of the family didn't dictate for them. Those men earned their trust by showing how responsible they are as a man. Guy, action speak louder than voice.

I will advise you to work more on yourself, earn more income and forget marriage for now. Going about looking for ladies to dictate what and what not to do with her finances is totally wrong man

Better don't listen to all those small small nairaland boys who barely had 3 square meal daily. They know nothing, i mean absolutely nothing

Some of them were even saying they can never tell their wife how much they earn. They are all fake person who tell lies to get those cheap girls within their neighbourhood and they will take that same lies and deceit into marriage. Na those kind people you wan dey listen to?

I'm also a small boy no doubt, but full of sense and wisdom. I learnt to be a responsible man from my father. He never dictate to my mum to do this and that. And my mum does contribute her quota naturally without being compelled or put under duress. My dad earned her trust by showing how responsible he is

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Any man that cannot provide for his family 100% has no business getting married in the first place. This is why I love my Igbo men. They provide for their women without nagging. God bless the responsible Igbo men in the world. The rest can take several seats.

LesbianBoy:


See your mentality. No wonder ladies of today think we guys are daft and behave as they like because they know guys would take anything from them

The funny thing about guys like you with your mentality is that, una go dey form "modern day man" dey follow the woman do that equality nonsense upon say na you dey spend all the money. If na me dey spend almost all the money, she should not expect equality or respect. Nonsense!

jditimiya:


Bros you no lie, the issues in our days marriages is that most girls just want to come and rest in a mans sweat and forget herself in the house, look at many successful homes both the man and woman is contributing to make the house a home for them. Some girls are born with a mentality that only their father will feed them that is their husband to do the same.

dingbang:
yes i understand marriage without vacay will be boring but you also need to understand her salary cannot afford that 20k deduction monthly. I suggest you tune it down a bit , say 5k .. You know women's daily needs are expensive..

Hair is expensive to make

Sanitary pads and make up

True,but all these things should be negotiable now. She just left just like that. Shows she's not ready for any financial commitment in marriage.

Women clothings such as lots of bra, pants, high heels.

Perfumes etc.

So her salary will not accomodate that 20k deduction..you sef try understand.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

HellVictorinho3:




What is the meaning of this?

Olatara:
No! She won't,

pompeiimagnus:


And how many men can afford that lifestyle in Nigeria today? Una go just dey talk anyhow. 300k won’t even pay tuition for 3 children going to very good private schools in PH today.

AmericanDad:


Untop 80k??kai poverty has ruined ur life

myfantasies:
It means I am broke , sapa don start for January

Work don resume ,make I go hustle for my small monthly pay

HellVictorinho3:




Teaching, right?


It seems we're in a similar situation.

BigBashiru:


U don't understand female nature @ all....

myfantasies:
Not teaching