ThiefOfHearts:

There's no such thing as final closure. No matter what he tells you. It wll never be enough so let it go. f you two were meant to be, you two would be the ones getting married. Simple as that.
If you were the wife would you want some girl coming around yarning about "closure"?
As as it obviously is, move on and close that chapter.

My sista, I hear you. And believe me am trying here and want to truly let go. I use the word truly because I thought I was over this dude and now I can't understand why my emotions have been up & down. If you are truly over someone you shouldn't feel this way right? Or is this normal and i just need to get a firm grip?

@madoba
its true that the first cut is the deepest, but we must always realize that walking away is sometimes the best option, also not everything that makes us happy is necessarily good for the future, the reason u guys broke up is really important and determines how u would be set up emotionally towards him, now and in the future. he has proved to u that has truly moved on by getting married, u can move on too, by letting go. understanding that we can not win all our battles in life is a priority. it could be another chance to meet that special one u deserve.
Don't be deceived by Ex's who tell u, u guys can still be friends, i don't believe that, because its a trap to get u in the same hole in the future, i wish u all the best, i know u would be fine soon. thanks for sharing ur experience, God Bless,

so many kids are abused everyday, there is no safe place for kids anymore, they are physically, emotionally and sexually assaulted at home, in school, in church, everywhere they go,

Yeah I've been heartbroken twice. the first was 4 years ago and the second was this year, quite recently. Very terrible experience. But i've taken it in strides, what's a chic gonna do?

@amya
its encouraging to know that u took it in ur stride and moved on, just stay strong, ur experiences would teach u what u desire in a future relationship, i wish u all the best.

Are you a therpist, Roland

@thiefofhearts
Thanks for the question, i have always been asked this question since my university days. i sort of have this talent of understanding various Human emotions and how it affects their attitude and disposition to life. i have been doing this for a long time though, i love helping people get stable emotionally and mentally, cos that is the only way they can give their best. if my lines or comments have been of help to u, i appreciate the time you spend in reading and sending ur comments too. all Humans have special talents, planted by God in us, all we have to do is discover it and make good use of it.
Cheers,

the state of the mind and emotion determines ur disposition to life situations

what is happening in Nigeria is dis heartening, just recently another father impregnates his own daughter, our kids are exposed to all forms of abuse that would certainly take its toll on their future,

God Bless, Roland

madoba:

My sista, I hear you. And believe me am trying here and want to truly let go. I use the word truly because I thought I was over this dude and now I can't understand why my emotions have been up & down. If you are truly over someone you shouldn't feel this way right? Or is this normal and i just need to get a firm grip?

You obviously not over it yet but trying to talk to him isnt gonna help. You can continue to mourn the relatiosnhip for as much time as you need, just dont do yourself a disservice by seeking him out. It'll get better/easier

i always advise people already in relationships or planning to get into one that Love is usually not enough and also falling in and out of love is very very easy but staying in love is perhaps the hardest,  Staying in love is natural and takes Hard work

@ThiefOfHearts
Thanks and God Bless u More

ye i have been iand i tell you its not something one can freely discuss in open especially when its by your best friend whom you trust so much and you are just soo sure something like rape CAN NEVER happen to you.

@fumisko
I commend ur spirit and courage to share ur experience, many are still living with the pain inside.
The number of youths that were, and are still abused emotionally, sexually and physically on a daily basis is increasing astronomically and the bitter pill about it is that the society is doing little to protect kids and vulnerable youths.
the best way to get true healing, is to first of all forgive yourself and then this would make u very strong like u sound now.
Stay strong,

The Number of people especially youths involved in abusing drugs in some cities in the us is scary, its worthy to mention that the situation in Baltimore is pathetic, while driving in the city the sight of secluded youths laying on the ground brings despair to my heart. the abuse makes them physically abuse their friends.

so many people are living with the pain of being abused, this pain has made many inferior and has affected how they perceive relationship.

On my way home today after my daily work outs and jogging, an eight year old black american neighbour walked up to me and asked " Hi Sir, is it right to kiss my cousin's joystick, cos i did it yesterday after he asked me to?" already animated i asked gently how old is your cousin? she replied "i don't know for sure but i know he is above 20 cos he is older than my sister who is 21", at that point my heart cringed and tears from my soul could be heard from a distance, visible irritated i calmly told her to ensure she told her mom what happened and she replied, "my mom is never at home", that response shattered every other response i was going to give her, so i advised her never to do that again with the cousin and also to speak to the mom about it whenever she came back and also report to her dad and her school counselor, she promised to do as i said, thanked me and walked home, 

Today's parents especially mothers have neglected their duties of child upbringing, children are now raised by the internet and peers while parents(mothers in particular) have become too busy to realize their children are gradually becoming strangers under their nose, all in a quest to make money,  the female child deserves more protection,

Abuse is inhuman,  lets stop this act

ifffffy:
The only one i've truly loved impregnated his ex after much pressure 4rm d girl 2 sleep wit her, though he's telling me 2 stay bcuz he's not marrying d girl, just accepting his responbilities as d father but i know dere's no hope, "olómo ló loko" so i'm leaving, i dont think i'l love again cuz of dis. I dont knw aw to get out of d pain.

maybe you left someone who truely loved you because of this guy,so deal with the pain or you can still go back to your ex..

My story is too long and I feel too lazy to type. If I could meet a beautiful damsel here for either friendship or serious relationship, or some reasonable matured men. We could talk about it over the phone. Hence there is no conference call button on NL.