This happens when ladies leave their soul mates for cashmates

Issokay!!!

We live in a microwave generation where everyone wants it quick quick.

Marriage isn't a sprint, but a marathon. Many young people enter into marriage with the mindset of dating, not realizing that marriage can be very trying and tasking.

Marriage is hard work! A loveless marriage is hell on earth and a major reason why many break down.

It takes a lot of patience, tolerance, to build love with someone different from in the oldest institution called marriage.

WhatCanIsay:
Nairaland, in fact every online and offline discussions nowadays are riddled with cases of broken marriages. Young people are getting scared of commitment to the extent that it's now obvious that some people enter marriage with divorce and separation in their front view mirror.

What's really going wrong? Is it the society or the individual?

Most of us have parents that have been married for close to four decades; in all glory, tribulations, comfort, sufferings, joys, sadness and happiness that marriage comes packaged with. Yet still I don't think there is an adult here that doesn't know a friend of his thinking of divorce and even going through with it.

I do believe that the modern society and the modern man (man and woman) is the cause of sordid stories and occurrences in marriage today. Yes we do have irreconcilable circumstances that can actively lead to divorce; example issues of serious deception which invalidates the marriage despite "the words" of marriage been spoken. But most cases of divorces we have today are in my view mostly inconsequential. What we have is mostly cases of disagreement, misunderstanding, he or she doesn't respect me, his or her attitude just changed.

People are no more patient to sit down and talk.

Human beings did not originate or design marriage. Marriage was designed and instituted by God. The only way to get it right is to submit to God and ask Him for how marriage run.

And the only way for all humans to get to God is through Christ...this is beyond just being in Christian religion. Real Christianity is never about just going to church or being born in a Christian family...it is by accepting Christ as your LORD and personal saviour and living according to His standard by grace.

True Christians are few.....people may be many in Christian religion.

Ok.

As long as the author or designer of marriage is ignored before and very often after marriages .... The Trend is likely to continue ..

Anyone can argue from now till thy kingdom come...

God almighty is the owner of marriage while the forces adversed to the design is also known ....

Turn to God , seek his opinion in ALL things especially regarding marriage ...

I don't know which to read. The epistle is too much.. i no get time

ZIMDRILL:


i agree too but also consider this remember before the white man came to africa, husband and wife played their individual roles to provide for the family no one was being feed while just sitting eg men when hunting, heading cattle etc while women gathered veges etc

then when the white men came with industralisation, changed our way of life remember men were allowed to work in towns while living wives were in village, then town boyz would come back to the village wearing fancy clothes and charming girls by saying marry me you dont have to do daily rural chores which were hard compared to living in down were there was electricity running water etc. So men would say marry and i can look after you. This is were is started were women got attracted to be looked after with doing much hard work as compared to village life

From that time till now women got the belief that it is the job of the man to look after his woman but infact they looked after each other, it was the introduction urban life that made women believe that its their jobs to be looked after.

Those men who worked in towns used it as tool to attract village girl who later become wives in the urban town and were simply housewives

Now to the present time, no man wants a woman who just seats home becoz the economy is tough a single income is nolonger enough at the other hand women were/used to that "i can look after you "

One has to know his own history to understan why at one point women were also providers but all of sudden they seem to have lost the ability and want to be looked after expecting the hubby to be sole provider.Something changed somewhere

@ The bolded, where do you guys get this idea from, what we don't want is a wasteful woman, not someone we can't take care of.

Money conscious no love again, that's the main reason for broken marriages.

Untill it's love and not for the money, The main way round it.

1. People marry for the wrong reasons
2. Patience is lacking is present time marriages
3. People now invite God when swearing in the marriage oath but as soon as they leave the venue, they leave God there
4. Marriage is about service to each other, but sadly evveryone want to be served, not only when you're Hot
5. Alot of people carry "dating character" into marriage
6. Some partner want to be begged, appeased before they would communicate their feelings


Just a few though

Darlingme:
Greed, too much love for money. Haven't you notice recently, it's like the only assignment of humanity on Earth is looking for MONEY? Love is going into extinction, so, many things aren't working

I love your answer

WhatCanIsay:
People are no more patient enough to sit down and talk because the society has made dating actually easier. You can on your data, and meet someone you could never have met immediately and gratify yourselves.

This case of man or woman being at our beck and call has made us foolhardy to work towards bettering what we have at hand. It has given us unnecessary pride which makes both genders believe that temporary happiness is the goal, an utopia which lives us disappointed as days go on.

I'm tired of writing. The bone of the matter is, we should re-learn how to face each other, and TALK. There are always ways of working things out, if we put aside our pride and realise that unions are formed on compromise! Marriage is and will always be a work in progress. My parents that are married for close to 40 years, are not always happy, in fact we children now even settles some of their minor issues, it's funny but it's human and natural.

I must have misyarned in some cases, kindly point out for further discussion.

Thanks

the only way to avoid it is to stop marrying those ediots called naija women

GENESIS 3


"......... and man became like Us"

Because there are too many broken people getting into marriage, and broken people break things.

WhatCanIsay:
Nairaland, in fact every online and offline discussions nowadays are riddled with cases of broken marriages. Young people are getting scared of commitment to the extent that it's now obvious that some people enter marriage with divorce and separation in their front view mirror.

What's really going wrong? Is it the society or the individual?

Most of us have parents that have been married for close to four decades; in all glory, tribulations, comfort, sufferings, joys, sadness and happiness that marriage comes packaged with. Yet still I don't think there is an adult here that doesn't know a friend of his thinking of divorce and even going through with it.

I do believe that the modern society and the modern man (man and woman) is the cause of sordid stories and occurrences in marriage today. Yes we do have irreconcilable circumstances that can actively lead to divorce; example issues of serious deception which invalidates the marriage despite "the words" of marriage been spoken. But most cases of divorces we have today are in my view mostly inconsequential. What we have is mostly cases of disagreement, misunderstanding, he or she doesn't respect me, his or her attitude just changed.

People are no more patient to sit down and talk.

1. Quality of parents have degraded.

2. Social media gave guys and girls a false sense of abundance.... until its too late for both guys and girls.

3. Boyfriends and girlfriends takes the fun part of marriage out of marriage. All husbands and wives get is responsibility without the fun. for example, immediately after marriage children are expected = responsibilities... once children are born, the womans affection goes to the children. man is working woman is working tension stress etc.
This is because the fun part of marriage is now had with boyfriends and girl friends instead of husband and wife....

socialmediaman:


Feminism arguably was a major contributor, and it affected mostly black families

On top of my list, is failed parenting.

.

Women wants to be men and SEX libido differences is one of the MAJOR marriage BREAKER

Because the think marriage is something you can go in and come out as you like. Marriage is some kind Mystery and if you don't get to solve this mystery you will not understand marriage.

The reason is immaturity. Everybody wan rush enter marriages without patience and trust. Them wan marry AS E DEY HOT

Too Much Of High Expectations

Darlingme:
Greed, too much love for money. Haven't you notice recently, it's like the only assignment of humanity on Earth is looking for MONEY? Love is going into extinction, so, many things aren't working

Honestly.. u made my day

S

ibkonekt:
Feminism happened

You are so right.

Feminism has contributed in no small measure to broken marriages.

socialmediaman:
From observation, many Nigerian women posing as feminists are misandrists using the umbrella of feminism to attack traditional and religious family values. Their version of feminism has little to do with equality in the society and workplace

God bless u jare

Don't mind that guy talking about feminism of work place when we haven't even seen a topic like that raised anywhere but every day we hear about women wanting to b equal in marriage.

Feminism according to Nigeria ladies is all about being in total control of man,they only calm down wen it comes to sharing d bills.

Lately there's a grammar they term body liberation,I don't know if I am correct with the name they believe they can do anything with their body without being accountable to anybody.

Just imagine someone who wants to b taken serious but believes she cam use her body anyhow.

Elianawalker:
No long story, many marriages today are born out of Lusty desires. We all know lust doesn't last, if you are unable to differentiate lust from love then you could end up with a partner you will want nothing with anymore.

Then cheating creeps in and heart breaks and pretense, false regret follow.

Many people don't regret cheating on their partner, they pretend to do.

Have you been married before?

WhatCanIsay:
Nairaland, in fact every online and offline discussions nowadays are riddled with cases of broken marriages. Young people are getting scared of commitment to the extent that it's now obvious that some people enter marriage with divorce and separation in their front view mirror.

What's really going wrong? Is it the society or the individual?

Most of us have parents that have been married for close to four decades; in all glory, tribulations, comfort, sufferings, joys, sadness and happiness that marriage comes packaged with. Yet still I don't think there is an adult here that doesn't know a friend of his thinking of divorce and even going through with it.

I do believe that the modern society and the modern man (man and woman) is the cause of sordid stories and occurrences in marriage today. Yes we do have irreconcilable circumstances that can actively lead to divorce; example issues of serious deception which invalidates the marriage despite "the words" of marriage been spoken. But most cases of divorces we have today are in my view mostly inconsequential. What we have is mostly cases of disagreement, misunderstanding, he or she doesn't respect me, his or her attitude just changed.

People are no more patient to sit down and talk.

A lot is happening in marriages of these centuries.
Many of our Grandmothers and mothers were full housewives, many of them endured domestic violence and had to endure it because they had nowhere to go or money to take care of themselves and kids. Many of our fathers and grandfathers would have affairs outside their marriages with their wives knowing about it and there’s nothing they can do about it, some of those men went as far as bringing children they had outside into their homes and forcing their wives to accept them as one of their own or they could as well leave the marriage. But nowadays, women are no longer trying to be full housewives with no source of income, women are no longer trying to endure domestic violence(well some), you try that and they walk away (Marriage is not a do or die affair). Women are no longer trying to be cheated on or walked all over like some slave according to the way African tradition sees women.

Some men don’t like it when their wives earn more than them, it makes them feel less of a man so they would rather ask their wives to quit their jobs and no woman would do that.

That’s for the women aspect according to personal surveys I made with some old women and young women.

For the men, I don’t really know. I tried asking a few men and they just laughed.

Proudlyngwa:


@ The bolded, where do you guys get this idea from, what we don't want is a wasteful woman, not someone we can't take care of.

cool i respect your point of view but in general how many men out there earning enough that wife doesnt do what you call side hustle to supplement the husband's income

MufasaLion:
Nigerians and their hatred for Feminism. Most of them don't even understand what it means. See how they're blaming Feminism for marriage failure.

You sef see am.
Ask them what feminism is now, they will go and copy, paste from google

From my observations, a lot of marriages fail due to a couple of reasons.

1. Lies and false expectations; I have seen relationships where the guy and girl keep lying to each other on background, finances and always putting up false appearances and raising unrealistic expectations, when they finally marry reality sets in and both parties are unwilling to settle into the new lower reality.

2. Intolerance: Simply put people no longer want to endure any form of discomfort, people are very impatient and once things don't work out, they move on to the next.

3. Changes in the dating scene and Social media influence: Before the average lady is 25 she would have dated 3 to 4 guys, also the average 30 year old guy has dated several ladies, dating and breaking up with multiple partners does not prepare you for marriage, it prepares you for divorce, cause you are now used to leaving when it doesn't work. Social media doesn't help, a lot of media personalities have been divorced and they create an impression that it is not that bad. This creates a herd mentality "Everyone is doing it".

4. Lastly the world has lost its moral compass people just want to enjoy life, have multiple sexual partners and not be accountable to anyone, Religions that once gave us a strong moral guide is now viewed as false due to the many scandals involving Men of God. Women are now able to express and explore their own sexual desires, before it used to be frowned at and men ran the show. But now it goes both ways and men can't take it.

WhatCanIsay:
Nairaland, in fact every online and offline discussions nowadays are riddled with cases of broken marriages. Young people are getting scared of commitment to the extent that it's now obvious that some people enter marriage with divorce and separation in their front view mirror.

What's really going wrong? Is it the society or the individual?

Most of us have parents that have been married for close to four decades; in all glory, tribulations, comfort, sufferings, joys, sadness and happiness that marriage comes packaged with. Yet still I don't think there is an adult here that doesn't know a friend of his thinking of divorce and even going through with it.

I do believe that the modern society and the modern man (man and woman) is the cause of sordid stories and occurrences in marriage today. Yes we do have irreconcilable circumstances that can actively lead to divorce; example issues of serious deception which invalidates the marriage despite "the words" of marriage been spoken. But most cases of divorces we have today are in my view mostly inconsequential. What we have is mostly cases of disagreement, misunderstanding, he or she doesn't respect me, his or her attitude just changed.

People are no more patient to sit down and talk.

Very true.

https://gist.am/question/why-are-there-too-many-broken-marriage-in-this-recent-times-are-there-any-ways-around-it

WhatCanIsay:
Nairaland, in fact every online and offline discussions nowadays are riddled with cases of broken marriages. Young people are getting scared of commitment to the extent that it's now obvious that some people enter marriage with divorce and separation in their front view mirror.

What's really going wrong? Is it the society or the individual?

Most of us have parents that have been married for close to four decades; in all glory, tribulations, comfort, sufferings, joys, sadness and happiness that marriage comes packaged with. Yet still I don't think there is an adult here that doesn't know a friend of his thinking of divorce and even going through with it.

I do believe that the modern society and the modern man (man and woman) is the cause of sordid stories and occurrences in marriage today. Yes we do have irreconcilable circumstances that can actively lead to divorce; example issues of serious deception which invalidates the marriage despite "the words" of marriage been spoken. But most cases of divorces we have today are in my view mostly inconsequential. What we have is mostly cases of disagreement, misunderstanding, he or she doesn't respect me, his or her attitude just changed.

People are no more patient to sit down and talk.

Spiritual battles aside.
Impatience, In-laws' advices and Demand from them; especially from wife's side if she has younger ones who are still looking for admission or are already in higher institutions. No wife would want to leave her marriage because the husband is not helping his own family but will frustrate the hell out of a man if he's not ready to help her own younger ones or parents. Some wives want equal rights and believe the money they make is theirs while husband's money belongs to everyone.
Very few ladies go into marriage with true love. Game plan has taken the place of true love in the hearts of some wives. Some do not really know what they want. Very few wives would wholeheartedly support DNA Test; even if it is free. So, they use divorce or separation to prevent the shame.

I come in peace.