The number of broken marriages did not increase.

There have always been broken marriages. Couples staying together just because of society, living as roommates - separate bedrooms, minimal communication. Some as enemies under the same roof.

The only difference is that divorce is no longer a stigma and that is why its looking like more marriages are being broken.

How many women of our mothers go to visit their children and never return to their marital homes - that was their way of saying good bye to the marriage.

How many of our fathers moved to the village and left the mothers in the homes in the city - that was their way of saying good bye to the marriage.

So many have lost their good morals, involving this time me got to know who Lilith was.

smile11s:


Very true.

https://gist.am/question/why-are-there-too-many-broken-marriage-in-this-recent-times-are-there-any-ways-around-it

What you are doing is wrong in all ramifications!!!

It's purely evil, did you ask me to use my material on your website? Did I willingly contribute on your website?

You even went to the extent of ascribing my opinion as yours in one of your posts... You won't go far if you continue like that. I didn't even bother with the crude behaviour till I noticed the deception.

Kindly remove it from there.

Interesting post..,I would say that the current system of things favour women greatly, in other words men stand to lose more in marriage especially if the man is wealthy…so Yeah baby daddy and baby mama is the mid point of it all and will just continue

lorenzos1:
From my observations, a lot of marriages fail due to a couple of reasons.

Dating and breaking up with multiple partners does not prepare you for marriage, it prepares you for divorce, cause you are now used to leaving when it doesn't work. Social media doesn't help, a lot of media personalities have been divorced

Truth

WhatCanIsay:
Nairaland, in fact every online and offline discussions nowadays are riddled with cases of broken marriages. Young people are getting scared of commitment to the extent that it's now obvious that some people enter marriage with divorce and separation in their front view mirror.

What's really going wrong? Is it the society or the individual?

Most of us have parents that have been married for close to four decades; in all glory, tribulations, comfort, sufferings, joys, sadness and happiness that marriage comes packaged with. Yet still I don't think there is an adult here that doesn't know a friend of his thinking of divorce and even going through with it.

I do believe that the modern society and the modern man (man and woman) is the cause of sordid stories and occurrences in marriage today. Yes we do have irreconcilable circumstances that can actively lead to divorce; example issues of serious deception which invalidates the marriage despite "the words" of marriage been spoken. But most cases of divorces we have today are in my view mostly inconsequential. What we have is mostly cases of disagreement, misunderstanding, he or she doesn't respect me, his or her attitude just changed.

People are no more patient to sit down and talk.

A lot of factors made marriages non-lasting..... one of which is feminism ....

Majorly, a lot of youths who claim to be ready for marriage happen not to schooled and informed enough about what it takes to keep a home ...

Ladies of nowadays want to be married and still be shaking their tiny bumbum upandan with boiz ... while guys now believe you can be married and still be doing "let me give u the koko" to every lady to which the wives would want revenge ...

Who reads relationship and marriage books again?

For where?

Everything na facebook, twitter, instagram with little or nothing to help in training the mind ....

Nevertheless, we have some marriages that are still working sha

And yeah, this silly concept of dating and breaking like 1000 times in a year ...

worldclass68:
.

Your attached meme delivered the message needed here...

All other things here are mere epistles.

No cap ba,

This is one of the most educative thread I have seen in this forum in a longggggg while.

Marriage no be joke anyways. Only God and us fit help ourself.

ZIMDRILL:


Feminism is not the problem, Feminism never advocates for divorce but for equall rights were women are treated less or blocked to progress because one is a woman

Feminism differ from country to country, and in every country's culture and religion, eg a woman in Qatar feminism to them was the right to drive cars like men, then in nigeria it might mean to be treated equally with men in boardroom eg 7 boad members and 1 is woman she is being expected to serve tea to others simple becoz she is a woman by virtue

Feminism simply means equal rights mostly in work places or woman's development without being disadvantaged

The problem with high broken marriages is simply becoz women are now able to provide for themselves they nolonger fear to be alone becoz she able to provide for herself. Remember her family sent to her school to be educated and to be able to work one day

So now dynamics have changed where men have lost the control in the family as both are now breadwinners. am 46 our mothers were disadvantage becoz most either never went to school or went half way were simply housewives and our father would abuse their wives becoz they knew that they can not provide for themselves they would rather tolerate abuse than being shamed as divorcee and not able to have their own income

Now things have changed, it hard to abuse someone who has her own source of income they would just walk away

Most women are either becoming abuser just like their fathers or correcting the mistakes of their mothers by not accepting abuse of resource to control someone from leaving the marriage, so instead of staying for the sake of marriage to be called Mrs its a none starter for them they rather leave

Then for men we are also stuck in the past were think we can manipulate our wives like our father used to do forgetting that these two women aka our mothers and our present wives are different as in our wives are also educated just like us and a higher % are working bring income in the house compared to our mother who were educated to primary 7 and were just housewives, a big disadvantage to them, their were prone to financial
abuse etc

As men we dont see the rights women are fighting for simply becoz we benefiting more from current setting that disadvantages women then on the other hand women are misusing feminism especially in family homes or set up to settle scores

all you explained is the reason why feminism is the problem. Why should woman want to be at equal with men? If men start demanding to be treated like women all hell will be let loose. God never made man to be equal with women. A woman can never be equal to a man. That’s how God create us

To me, It's poor foundation in relationship, pretence,lust,and incompatibility and finally pack of maturity on marriage institution..

The truth is that marriage cages a lady in a way and that is what the women of today can't stand. It's as simple as ABC.

Simran94:



You sef see am.
Ask them what feminism is now, they will go and copy, paste from google

So many ignorant folks blinded by hatred.

Simply put people have abandoned love for God and his word's and are busy chasing shadow that can never truly satisfy the longing of the soul until we come back to God in genuine repentance and obedience to his word's we'll keep asking questions that we'll not have answer to.

People show about 40% of Thier character during courtship,after marriage,the remaining 60%are released in batches and in most times they are at variance with the 40%shown earlier.
Separation and divorce happen when the 60% of the character shown after marriage becomes unpleasant and beyond tolerance to either of the spouse.

WhatCanIsay:
People are no more patient enough to sit down and talk because the society has made dating actually easier. You can on your data, and meet someone you could never have met immediately and gratify yourselves.

This case of man or woman being at our beck and call has made us foolhardy to work towards bettering what we have at hand. It has given us unnecessary pride which makes both genders believe that temporary happiness is the goal, an utopia which lives us disappointed as days go on.

I'm tired of writing. The bone of the matter is, we should re-learn how to face each other, and TALK. There are always ways of working things out, if we put aside our pride and realise that unions are formed on compromise! Marriage is and will always be a work in progress. My parents that are married for close to 40 years, are not always happy, in fact we children now even settles some of their minor issues, it's funny but it's human and natural.

I must have misyarned in some cases, kindly point out for further discussion.

Thanks

You asked questions and you still want to answer them.

Everything I read was "Nigerian women" repeatedly mentioned. A single gender cannot make a marriage work. Marriage is between two people and only those two can make it work.

ZIMDRILL:


cool i respect your point of view but in general how many men out there earning enough that wife doesnt do what you call side hustle to supplement the husband's income

I opened a shop for my wife, not because of side hustle but for idleness, keeping fit and in case of I die unexpectedly.
I am not earning what society term enough but what gives me satisfaction is very minimal and I have taught my wife same.

I have come to discover that human wants are insatiable and if you don't tame that if you like you and your wife should be President and vice or farmer and housewife without curbing your desires, you will always want more.

If u want a functional family, one person needs to be a provider, the other or others an administrator.

Why it's counterproductive for an African man to marry in this era is that what we now have are westernized-african women. The global spread and dominance of Western culture robbed us of our true African women. (ie the women that our forefathers married)

Since changes has occurred in our culture due to Western influence and education. For we to stay abreast we have to change with the times. The time that we are in doesn't call for marriage because it's not favourable to the African man... (Excerpts from a post I made weeks ago)

Marriage has outlived its usefulness. Women are wild now.

Nigga forget marriage. Na crap and wahala.

WhatCanIsay:


What you are doing is wrong in all ramifications!!!

It's purely evil, did you ask me to use my material on your website? Did I willingly contribute on your website?

You even went to the extent of ascribing my opinion as yours in one of your posts... You won't go far if you continue like that. I didn't even bother with the crude behaviour till I noticed the deception.

Kindly remove it from there.

You are the one that actually copied it from the website. So forget it

Spanki:
The truth is that marriage cages a lady in a way and that is what the women of today can't stand. It's as simple as ABC.

And marriage does not cage a man financially??

WhatCanIsay:
People are no more patient enough to sit down and talk because the society has made dating actually easier. You can on your data, and meet someone you could never have met immediately and gratify yourselves.

This case of man or woman being at our beck and call has made us foolhardy to work towards bettering what we have at hand. It has given us unnecessary pride which makes both genders believe that temporary happiness is the goal, an utopia which lives us disappointed as days go on.

I'm tired of writing. The bone of the matter is, we should re-learn how to face each other, and TALK. There are always ways of working things out, if we put aside our pride and realise that unions are formed on compromise! Marriage is and will always be a work in progress. My parents that are married for close to 40 years, are not always happy, in fact we children now even settles some of their minor issues, it's funny but it's human and natural.

I must have misyarned in some cases, kindly point out for further discussion.

Thanks

This is the best sum up of the whole thing I have ever seen.

It's either you copied it or I need to have an orgy with your brain.

This is why there are so many unhappy over aged unmarried women. Women especially fall into this mistake. Men are remin and will always be generally visual creatures so the whole impatience thing doesn't really work on men what really changed with men was our taste and preferences for women

smile11s:


You are the one that actually copied it from the website. So forget it

Wow, you really want to take it that far??

I was even thinking I was talking to someone that has a bit of a human being in him.

You really want to stand on what you just spewed now?

It's very easy , if you feel women are the cause of a broken marriage, endeavour to send only ur boy child to school so ur girl child can be dependent on their spouse. I will use nigeria as a case study. A man wants you to support him sometimes even saying 50/50 contributions towards running the home. He wants to flex and do everything the modern world has to offer but will prefer his woman to remain in the 60's , how possible is that.

I hear most young lads talking about how they cant marry a woman who doesnt have anything doing in this very hard and demanding society and yet u expect the girls not to go ahead to do what it takes to get something to do knowing fully well it will land them a man.
A woman start working 9-5 job as a man and still expected to take care of everything concerning her man and also deal with his excessive emotions. A woman also expecting her man to provide everything for her in this economy and start comparing him to other guys. Marriage can be beautiful but the fact is very small amount of marriages are worthy of emulation, Reason" Trust. He or she might decide to leave me if i open up.

Relax my people CLIMATE CHANGE caused it all

Feminism, the online world,and technology has been the difference, we now realized relationship is now something u do and stay committed to....



Freelancing gets better with good gigs and great reviews,And if not you ain't doing it right,and that's where I come in to help u get it right even as a newbie. Check my signature for more info

There is way to many adultry and fornication going on as a result its cheaper to get sex than to marry we as humans require sex to bond when u abuse it …obviously you loose that ability to bond….the spiritual controls the physical first!!! The earth is balanced and ruled by laws …do as you wish but it must balance there is always a consequence for everything

Don27tiky:
all you explained is the reason why feminism is the problem. Why should woman want to be at equal with men? If men start demanding to be treated like women all hell will be let loose. God never made man to be equal with women. A woman can never be equal to a man. That’s how God create us

dont expect that every lives according to the bible thats your 1st mistake

2nd is equal means alot of thing, eg some parents dont support their daughter to get the highest education simply becoz they believe that she will get married one day and move away so she is not worth supporting, feminism is just pointing at things that disadvantages women meaning they want to be treated fairly as men or given same opportunities as men

ZIMDRILL:


Feminism is not the problem, Feminism never advocates for divorce but for equall rights were women are treated less or blocked to progress because one is a woman

Feminism differ from country to country, and in every country's culture and religion, eg a woman in Qatar feminism to them was the right to drive cars like men, then in nigeria it might mean to be treated equally with men in boardroom eg 7 boad members and 1 is woman she is being expected to serve tea to others simple becoz she is a woman by virtue

Feminism simply means equal rights mostly in work places or woman's development without being disadvantaged

The problem with high broken marriages is simply becoz women are now able to provide for themselves they nolonger fear to be alone becoz she able to provide for herself. Remember her family sent to her school to be educated and to be able to work one day

So now dynamics have changed where men have lost the control in the family as both are now breadwinners. am 46 our mothers were disadvantage becoz most either never went to school or went half way were simply housewives and our father would abuse their wives becoz they knew that they can not provide for themselves they would rather tolerate abuse than being shamed as divorcee and not able to have their own income

Now things have changed, it hard to abuse someone who has her own source of income they would just walk away

Most women are either becoming abuser just like their fathers or correcting the mistakes of their mothers by not accepting abuse of resource to control someone from leaving the marriage, so instead of staying for the sake of marriage to be called Mrs its a none starter for them they rather leave

Then for men we are also stuck in the past were think we can manipulate our wives like our father used to do forgetting that these two women aka our mothers and our present wives are different as in our wives are also educated just like us and a higher % are working bring income in the house compared to our mother who were educated to primary 7 and were just housewives, a big disadvantage to them, their were prone to financial
abuse etc

As men we dont see the rights women are fighting for simply becoz we benefiting more from current setting that disadvantages women then on the other hand women are misusing feminism especially in family homes or set up to settle scores

You see this your reasoning is responsible for the recent high rate of divorce, and its most likely to continue increasing looking at the number of people that have been brainwashed to believe your new CIVILIZED ORIENTATION.

Men and women , Husband and Wife - are not equal and will never be equal.. The natural relationship is EQUITY and not EQUALITY.

Been a husband gives you some right at the expense of wife , also as a wife you enjoy some opportunities that the husband is denied.

Proudlyngwa:

I opened a shop for my wife, not because of side hustle but for idleness, keeping fit and in case of I die unexpectedly.
I am not earning what society term enough but what gives me satisfaction is very minimal and I have taught my wife same.

I have come to discover that human wants are insatiable and if you don't tame that if you like you and your wife should be President and vice or farmer and housewife without curbing your desires, you will always want more.

If u want a functional family, one person needs to be a provider, the other or others an administrator.

like i have said before feminism differs from country to county and tradition to tradition etc

you see what you said last applies may be in the nigeria environment where you are ok be the only provider while wife is the administrator right fair enough

then look in the western world to buy a house you need a mortgage, to repay it its calculated based your family income, so lets say it will take you 20 years to clear the mortgage based on the sole income of whoever is the breadwinner. But lets say both hubby and wife are working the mortgage period of repayment will be reduced to may be 15 years meaning you have quickly cleared your mortgage

Feminism, women now money, there are many relationship expert deceiving people, people marry who have money instead of who dey love, sexual liberation. We are damned in this generation

ZIMDRILL:


like i have said before feminism differs from country to county and tradition to tradition etc

you see what you said last applies may be in the nigeria environment where you are ok be the only provider while wife is the administrator right fair enough

then look in the western world to buy a house you need a mortgage, to repay it its calculated based your family income, so lets say it will take you 20 years to clear the mortgage based on the sole income of whoever is the breadwinner. But lets say both hubby and wife are working the mortgage period of repayment will be reduced to may be 15 years meaning you have quickly cleared your mortgage

Everything is based on level of containment

A lot of western families especially Latinos/ asians still run provider administrator system ant they are very comfortable.