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Stats: 3,013,733 members, 7,368,938 topics. Date: Wednesday, 29 March 2023 at 08:05 PM
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic (9102 Views)
Domestic Violence: A Time To Fight Back / Violence Is Not The Solution: IT'S THE PROBLEM / Domestic Violence Is Not Gender Specific (2) (3) (4)
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|Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by QuinModah(f): 8:37am On Mar 12, 2022|
Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic
Domestic violence is a funny problem because everyone online fights against it and indoors dey practice it
Domestic violence is not an issue of today its something that is done regularly in our society and its often commonly overlooked , there is no Nigerian that hasn't seen a man beating his wife , from neighbors to friends even movies show it, its a common thing here, when kids or young boys see men beating their wives they accept that its the way to handle issues , the fact the social media has made it possible for people to reach out Doesn't mean that it will stop , its normal to nigerians so stop hoping for any change , instead be observant
The problem is the women not the men b4 u eat me raw hear me out
Antelope when know wetin lion be has no business staying in the same house with it - jude 2017
If a woman is dating a man , it only takes one incident for her to know that he is a violent person , maybe one day she annoys him and he insults her or slaps her a normal woman with brain in her head will run away from that relationship no matter how hard the guy begs but when this happens to most women they will stay because of love or they are desperate for marriage if he is rich , they will be hoping that he will change over time. When you marry a man that has slapped u b4 or is quick to insult u , expecting marriage to change him is desperation my sister
If u know that ur man is hot tempered and you're desperate or u love him them learn to handle him , dont talk back at him when he is angry , become a sheep after all you're the desperate person , if ur brain they work u learn to live with it
When u see news or stories of a man beating a woman , don't be deceived the man didn't just beat her for the first time that day , he has been doing it for a very very long time , na that day own u hear
Most women will talk bad about it but when it happens to them they are quiet , the common nigerian thing of no be my matter people go hear
Conclusion; Nigerian society encourages it , even our leaders beat their wives , ebonyi state governor , if a random man beats his wife and he is arrested , he wouldn’t be convicted because even if its a crime they dont see it as one , police will tell him to calm down and na woman she be , in short they will call the beaten wife and advice her to learn to respect her husband
This is us , its the way we are , when we now see threads about it , guys that beat women will be shouting no its wrong as if they are any better , all na internet holiness
its simple my sisters
From you're mad to a slap to push to punch to beating to knife to strangle to I will kill you till he eventually kills you
The domestic violence thing isn't an individual problem its a Nigerian problem
if a man slaps u, insults u or gets angry easily dont marry him run as fast as ur legs can carry u
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 8:55am On Mar 12, 2022|
It this kind of man capable of decking their mouths without batting an eyelid that Some Naija women regard and declare "na real man him be"
For some unexplainable strange reasons This kind of man gets the most sex from the other gender.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Karleb(m): 9:05am On Mar 12, 2022|
In the Nigeria that you live, shebi its only men that abuse women.
Things are so bad for men that if the woman didn't seriously injure you or kill you, no one will believe she is abusing you.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 2:06pm On Mar 12, 2022|
VeeVeeMyLuv:Obviously because many women are still raised with the wrong idea of what a real man should be. So many grow up in homes where there own fathers are those same kind of men, and in a culture where you are not even given the freedom to oppose your parents, what do you expect?
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 2:08pm On Mar 12, 2022|
QuinModah:I said it before...women need to start having these serious conversations amongst themselves.
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by QuinModah(f): 4:02pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Kobojunkie:Unfortunately we wouldn't. A friend married an abuser, all the red flags were there for all to see(smoker, drinker and womaniser) but she went ahead to marry him, she has broken ribs, hospitalized countless time, STD's and in the end the last beating was what made her leave.
Women in abusive marriage please � don't give birth because you are only producing an abuser. Go to the hospital and insert it in your vaginal
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 4:12pm On Mar 12, 2022|
QuinModah:Oh, she eventually left? That is good to know.
I don't agree that children born in the midst of abuse grow up to become abusers themselves. Instead, children who are not well trained do.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by QuinModah(f): 4:16pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Kobojunkie:Research Institute of human psychology has done research in over 80 countries about the bolded and the advise that victims of domestic violence shouldn't give birth because it will be a continuous circle. There are about 8 cases of domestic abuse at Panti all the abuser mother told us that they were abused by their sons father
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 4:27pm On Mar 12, 2022|
QuinModah:Can you provide a reference to this research you claim. I happen to know from experience that the claim there is false.
There are no known genetic markers for abuse. Instead those born and raised in abusive environments have a 50% chance of turning out abusers themselves, this all depending on how they themselves were nurtured and raised, particularly by the victim(mother and father) of the abuse.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 5:41pm On Mar 12, 2022|
U are still arguing, see raw fact & data in your front u still dey doubt?
The influence of parents character over their children character is one of the most powerful force on Earth.
As in we have seen children many times resorting to direct physical confrontation, wrestle to break free from their parents character clutches.
It is almost genetic as in the DNA. the unfortunate children become photocopy/carbon copy of the abusive daddies & mummies.
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 5:45pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Where is this raw data evidence for claim you make?
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 5:54pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Kobojunkie:Their parents character pattern or behavior is the only & best thing their brain can think of.
How can a man and a woman feel it is perfect to deck each other to the point of coma? No b juju b that?
Abeg no b with clear eye, one damaged Gene must be responsible.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 6:03pm On Mar 12, 2022|
VeeVeeMyLuv:I was myself in such a home and my brain is not that way so, I suggest we stick to facts and not supposition.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 6:48pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Kobojunkie:Okay Sir, sorry about that
It is well. Boss with the help of God your home is/shall be peaceful.
That is why some clergy organize revival or deliverance to break generational/familial curses.
Boss I have seen, heard, read these facts for myself. Though there's always an exception to every case.
The 80 - 20% Pareto principle applies. Ofcourse I have personally seen children of abusive parents go on become wonderful, loving spouses and parents.
The above was achieved only by vehemently outrightly rejecting the abusive ways of their parents.
As a matter of fact, I as a kid have experience the psychological damages that common argument between father and mother can cause to the children.
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 6:57pm On Mar 12, 2022|
VeeVeeMyLuv:1. Sorry ke? I am happy I experienced what I did because I doubt I would be who I am today if not for the exposure.
God has nothing to do with what happened. Those were all the ills born of and perpetrated by man and man alone.
2. Bullsheet! God no send anyone to send that bullsheet.... so your Pagan shaman masquerading as mogs are not of God.
3. Again,I ask that you provide at least one line to research that supports this claim you make but you have not yet provide one. Why?
So then , if you admit that children can outrigtly refuse to become abusers themselves, then what in the world have you have been trying to argue all this while with what is your baseless claim that it is in their DNA?
4. Experiencing the psychological damages inflicted by abuse makes one a victim ot abuse but it does not in anyway or form predispose one to becoming an abuser unless one chooses to become one.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 7:18pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Kobojunkie:U are angry with me for what? Am I the one responsible for the fact that children tends to take after their parents? Go ask nature please!
Oga I comot hand from your matter completely. See me walking away after washing my hands.
If u need more evidence look at the toxic people littering nairaland, they are either mostly from broken/dysfunctional/abusive homes. They are just only giving out what they know, have experienced.
Abusive home/parents made you who u are today? That is wonderful
Okay u know what? I give it to you. I will just agree to disagree.
There's no need for further arguments. U win
5 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 7:28pm On Mar 12, 2022|
VeeVeeMyLuv:1. Reread my response. I never said anything about being angry with you or anyone.
2. Children, even adults, make choices... we all do. We reject the wickedness and foolishness of our parents or we accept and imbibe them and perpetrate them as if our own.... choices. These toxic people who litter nairaland are individuals who choose to continue the toxic mistakes of their parents before them. They know better but they choose wickedness, in much the same way that others out there choose to stand against the wickedness and foolishness of the past no matter what.
3. Yes, I am more informed for it and I know how to be a good neighbor because of my experiences in life.
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Klass99(f): 7:42pm On Mar 12, 2022|
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Biglittlelois(f): 8:27pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Instead of putting all the blame on women, attack the domestic violence epidemic from the root cause by stopping men from reacting with their fist at any slight provocation, there should be an awareness on disadvantages and damages of domestic violence in the family unit and the society at large
If we were in a sane society, every form of violence will be a crime cos it will result to arrest and termed as physical assult etc.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kobojunkie: 9:06pm On Mar 12, 2022|
Biglittlelois:1. How exactly do you intend on stopping men from reaching with their fist at any sight of provocation?
It isn't rocket science that domestic abuse is evil... I didn't need a lesson to know this as a child, so while awareness is great, it won't stop the problem until women, the mature victims, also take steps to stop putting themselves in with these men.
2. Nigerian society is nowhere near sane. We are talking here of a country where domestic abuse is sanctioned by the law, meaning women that put themselves in harms way share in the blame.
So, in order for meaningful change to be realize, women need to understand that they contribute to the problem when they chose to make their beds with their abusers.
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Rubyjade: 7:41am On Mar 13, 2022|
Stockholm syndrome is a condition which causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors during captivity. These alliances result from a bond formed between captor and captives during intimate time together, but they are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.
This term was first used by the media in 1973 when four hostages were taken during a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. The hostages defended their captors after being released and would not agree to testify in court against them. Stockholm syndrome is paradoxical because the sympathetic sentiments that captives feel towards their captors are the opposite of the fear and disdain which an onlooker might feel towards the captors.
There are four key components that characterize Stockholm syndrome:
-A hostage's development of positive feelings towards the captor
-No previous relationship between hostage and captor
-A refusal by hostages to cooperate with police forces and other government authorities
-A hostage's belief in the humanity of the captor because they cease to perceive the captor as a threat when the victim holds the same values as the aggressor
Stockholm syndrome is a "contested illness" due to doubt about the legitimacy of the condition. It has also come to describe the reactions of some abuse victims beyond the context of kidnappings or hostage-taking. Actions and attitudes similar to those suffering from Stockholm syndrome have also been found in victims of sexual abuse, human trafficking, terror, and political and religious oppression.
VeeVeeMyLuv:Some women feel if he doesn't hot her, he doesn't love her
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Rubyjade: 7:42am On Mar 13, 2022|
Kobojunkie:How long were in the home?
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Rubyjade: 7:45am On Mar 13, 2022|
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Kennyfancy(m): 10:58am On Mar 13, 2022|
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by MyVILLAGEpeople(m): 10:58am On Mar 13, 2022|
No man should ever raise his hand towards any woman. But some women mouth too sharp tho. I don see situations where the woman go first slap the man during arguments.
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|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by iCauseTrouble: 10:58am On Mar 13, 2022|
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by yuzjet(m): 10:59am On Mar 13, 2022|
Yes, government promote it through their use of military
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by DenreleDave: 10:59am On Mar 13, 2022|
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Olam09(m): 10:59am On Mar 13, 2022|
|Re: Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic by Nobody: 11:04am On Mar 13, 2022|
When you're ready talk about female on male violence then we'll discuss.
The majority of domestic violence in Nigerian families is meted out by females on the males.
If you're not ready to discuss that then to hell with you and your worthless post. Shove it up your ass.
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