QuinModah:
Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic
Domestic violence is a funny problem because everyone online fights against it and indoors dey practice it

Domestic violence is not an issue of today its something that is done regularly in our society and its often commonly overlooked , there is no Nigerian that hasn't seen a man beating his wife , from neighbors to friends even movies show it, its a common thing here, when kids or young boys see men beating their wives they accept that its the way to handle issues , the fact the social media has made it possible for people to reach out Doesn't mean that it will stop , its normal to nigerians so stop hoping for any change , instead be observant

The problem is the women not the men b4 u eat me raw hear me out

Antelope when know wetin lion be has no business staying in the same house with it - jude 2017

If a woman is dating a man , it only takes one incident for her to know that he is a violent person , maybe one day she annoys him and he insults her or slaps her a normal woman with brain in her head will run away from that relationship no matter how hard the guy begs but when this happens to most women they will stay because of love or they are desperate for marriage if he is rich , they will be hoping that he will change over time. When you marry a man that has slapped u b4 or is quick to insult u , expecting marriage to change him is desperation my sister

If u know that ur man is hot tempered and you're desperate or u love him them learn to handle him , dont talk back at him when he is angry , become a sheep after all you're the desperate person , if ur brain they work u learn to live with it

When u see news or stories of a man beating a woman , don't be deceived the man didn't just beat her for the first time that day , he has been doing it for a very very long time , na that day own u hear

Most women will talk bad about it but when it happens to them they are quiet , the common nigerian thing of no be my matter people go hear

Conclusion; Nigerian society encourages it , even our leaders beat their wives , ebonyi state governor , if a random man beats his wife and he is arrested , he wouldn’t be convicted because even if its a crime they dont see it as one , police will tell him to calm down and na woman she be , in short they will call the beaten wife and advice her to learn to respect her husband

This is us , its the way we are , when we now see threads about it , guys that beat women will be shouting no its wrong as if they are any better , all na internet holiness


its simple my sisters

From you're mad to a slap to push to punch to beating to knife to strangle to I will kill you till he eventually kills you

The domestic violence thing isn't an individual problem its a Nigerian problem

if a man slaps u, insults u or gets angry easily dont marry him run as fast as ur legs can carry u

The first step for women is to educate their girl children on what is and is not acceptable, and do your all to ensure your girl child is educated and has a sense of self worth.

A person who is earning her own money and knows her worth will not put up with this. This is how you can do it for the next generation.

Of course, our culture is the greatest enemy here

One of the reasons so many Nigerian marriages collapse abroad is that women suddenly find themselves in a place where divorce is not a social taboo, and your fellow women will have your back if you want out.

No one will see your back eye and tell you to go and pray, they will tell you to get out

Karleb:
In the Nigeria that you live, shebi its only men that abuse women.

Things are so bad for men that if the woman didn't seriously injure you or kill you, no one will believe she is abusing you.

Haa make mumu like that just listen to Nigeriainfo's Saturday's edition of 'Relationship360' and hear the story of a man who got more than he bargained for in marriage.

The podcast should be on the radio station.

Karleb:
In the Nigeria that you live, shebi its only men that abuse women.

Things are so bad for men that if the woman didn't seriously injure you or kill you, no one will believe she is abusing you.

Haa make mumu like that just listen to Nigeriainfo's Saturday's edition of 'Relationship360' and hear the story of a man who got more than he bargained for in marriage.

The podcast should be on the radio station website

Kobojunkie:
Can you provide a reference to this research you claim. I happen to know from experience that the claim there is false.

There are no known genetic markers for abuse. Instead those born and raised in abusive environments have a 50% chance of turning out abusers themselves, this all depending on how they themselves were nurtured and raised, particularly by the victim(mother and father) of the abuse.

Abuse is behavioural. Behaviors are determined by but not limited to genetic and environmental factors. There are genetic markers for behaviors (personality traits) which can be inherited.

Also, have you heard about social learning?

Children learn behaviors from their social environments, through observation, which mostly begins with their parents\family. This imprinted social conditioning by the members of their social environments, especially as infants, is not easily unlearnt or modified through education or experience, and largely determines how a person behaves as an adult.

Concerning the bolded, it is very rare to successfully raise children to behave differently than how the person raising them behaves, because children learn behaviors mostly by observation.

A combination of inherited personality traits and social conditioning at infancy explains why children of abusers will most likely be abusers themselves rather than not when a situation permits. Far more than the 50% chance you infered in your submission.

Violence is part of Afrizoo culture. So domestic violence is accepted. Some nizoorian females love to see other females suffer domestic violence. Na those same females dey born beasts.

Your oyibo masters are trying hard to correct the mental defects of afrizoorians.

Biglittlelois:
Instead of putting all the blame on women, attack the domestic violence epidemic from the root cause by stopping men from reacting with their fist at any slight provocation, there should be an awareness on disadvantages and damages of domestic violence in the family unit and the society at large

If we were in a sane society, every form of violence will be a crime cos it will result to arrest and termed as physical assult etc.

You do realize that domestic violence cuts both ways right? Women can be abusers too, both physically and verbally. In fact, most physical abuse is carried out by men, while most verbal abuse is carried out by women.

30naira:


You do realize that domestic violence cuts both ways right? Women can be abusers too, both physically and verbally. In fact, most physical abuse is carried out by men, while most verbal abuse is carried out by women.

Next time, read the op and the context of her write up, you'd see she focused and blamed women only, my comment is in line with what she typed.

Your own definition of domestic violence is the husband beating the wife.
SMH...

Just Google it. It's a fact. It's not as if it's genetic but more of a psychological issue.
It becomes embedded in their subconscious mind and they don't know better ways of treating issues with their spouses.

Kobojunkie:
Can you provide a reference to this research you claim. I happen to know from experience that the claim there is false.

There are no known genetic markers for abuse. Instead those born and raised in abusive environments have a 50% chance of turning out abusers themselves, this all depending on how they themselves were nurtured and raised, particularly by the victim(mother and father) of the abuse.

30naira:


You do realize that domestic violence cuts both ways right? Women can be abusers too, both physically and verbally. In fact, most physical abuse is carried out by men, while most verbal abuse is carried out by women.

Sure. Women carry out abuse verbally and in attitude

Aystarz:


Haa make mumu like that just listen to Nigeriainfo's Saturday's edition of 'Relationship360' and hear the story of a man who got more than he bargained for in marriage.

The podcast should be on the radio station.

By Onyinyechi and Barr Olumide

For as long as you continue to fixate on physical abuse, domestic violence is going nowhere soon.

Domestic violence includes:

1. Physical (typically used by men)

2. Verbal (typically used by women)

3. Financial (both genders are capable)

4. Emotional (both genders are capable)

5. Psychological (both genders are capable).

You can't reduce domestic violence by fixating on reducing physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is even worse because it is subtle, and the victim may not know that they are being abused.

If you as a woman are a chronic nag who resorts to hurtful words to hurt her husband, if he hits you, do not think he is the only one guilty of domestic violence. You both are guilty.

I have tried to sanitize society the best I could, but seems like you people just want to play a gender blame game, instead of tackling the malaise head-on.

Kobojunkie:
Obviously because many women are still raised with the wrong idea of what a real man should be. So many grow up in homes where there own fathers are those same kind of men, and in a culture where you are not even given the freedom to oppose your parents, what do you expect?

And a culture that celebrates 'beating sense' into the weak

VeeVeeMyLuv:

U are angry with me for what? Am I the one responsible for the fact that children tends to take after their parents? Go ask nature please!

Oga I comot hand from your matter completely. See me walking away after washing my hands.

If u need more evidence look at the toxic people littering nairaland, they are either mostly from broken/dysfunctional/abusive homes. They are just only giving out what they know, have experienced.

Abusive home/parents made you who u are today? That is wonderful

Okay u know what? I give it to you. I will just agree to disagree.

There's no need for further arguments. U win

You both are correct in your arguments..no one knows it all.. its a nice thread that shouldnt be derailed with confrontational arguments..

BluntTheApostle:
For as long as you continue to fixate on physical abuse, domestic violence is going nowhere soon.

Domestic violence includes:

1. Physical (typically used by men)

2. Verbal (typically used by women)

3. Financial (both genders are capable)

4. Emotional (both genders are capable)

5. Psychological (both genders are capable).

You can't reduce domestic violence by fixating on reducing physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is even worse because it is subtle, and the victim may not know that they are being abused.

If you as a woman are a chronic nag who resorts to hurtful words to hurt her husband, if he hits you, do not think he is the only one guilty of domestic violence. You both are guilty.

I have tried to sanitize society the best I could, but seems like you people just want to play a gender blame game, instead of tackling the malaise head-on.

Rubyjade:
By Onyinyechi and Barr Olumide

Yes, Gnosis_help Initiative. Even the Barrister's own wife was on set to narrate her ordeal in her previous marriage.

I think the male survivor's name who went through hell is 'Wale'.

anoda one

Rubyjade:

That is the bitter truth.

A woman who has no control over her tongue is no better than a man who has no control over his fists.

They are both ruled by anger, but explore different means to expel the steam.

You cannot tell only the man to go for anger management classes. Because that would be solving only a part of the problem.

When a fight happens, there are typically two sides: the aggressor and the reactor.

A woman nagging her husband endlessly is an aggressor. She needs as much conflict resolution lessons as the husband when he gives her a resounding slap to shut her up. If you fixate on the physical abuse, and overlook the emotional abuse, you are not helping that family. If the man learns to control his anger, he will still have to contend with a woman who is still the same chronic nag. There is just so much a man can take before he slaps her again.

Your take on domestic violence is very biased I must say.
It sees domestic violence as coming from only one gender, the male gender.

Domestic violence is not gender specific.

Morpheus24 Parrot69 heniford2

I thought u guys know how to treat women well that's why 30 million South African women are all after u

cc IronGalaxy JaceBlaze soilsista

Henifraud, when are u coming to SA - this month?

BluntTheApostle:
For as long as you continue to fixate on physical abuse, domestic violence is going nowhere soon.

Domestic violence includes:

1. Physical (typically used by men)

2. Verbal (typically used by women)

3. Financial (both genders are capable)

4. Emotional (both genders are capable)

5. Psychological (both genders are capable).

You can't reduce domestic violence by fixating on reducing physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is even worse because it is subtle, and the victim may not know that they are being abused.

If you as a woman are a chronic nag who resorts to hurtful words to hurt her husband, if he hits you, do not think he is the only one guilty of domestic violence. You both are guilty.

I have tried to sanitize society the best I could, but seems like you people just want to play a gender blame game, instead of tackling the malaise head-on.

Spot on.

QuinModah:
Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic
Domestic violence is a funny problem because everyone online fights against it and indoors dey practice it

Domestic violence is not an issue of today its something that is done regularly in our society and its often commonly overlooked , there is no Nigerian that hasn't seen a man beating his wife , from neighbors to friends even movies show it, its a common thing here, when kids or young boys see men beating their wives they accept that its the way to handle issues , the fact the social media has made it possible for people to reach out Doesn't mean that it will stop , its normal to nigerians so stop hoping for any change , instead be observant

The problem is the women not the men b4 u eat me raw hear me out

Antelope when know wetin lion be has no business staying in the same house with it - jude 2017

If a woman is dating a man , it only takes one incident for her to know that he is a violent person , maybe one day she annoys him and he insults her or slaps her a normal woman with brain in her head will run away from that relationship no matter how hard the guy begs but when this happens to most women they will stay because of love or they are desperate for marriage if he is rich , they will be hoping that he will change over time. When you marry a man that has slapped u b4 or is quick to insult u , expecting marriage to change him is desperation my sister

If u know that ur man is hot tempered and you're desperate or u love him them learn to handle him , dont talk back at him when he is angry , become a sheep after all you're the desperate person , if ur brain they work u learn to live with it

When u see news or stories of a man beating a woman , don't be deceived the man didn't just beat her for the first time that day , he has been doing it for a very very long time , na that day own u hear

Most women will talk bad about it but when it happens to them they are quiet , the common nigerian thing of no be my matter people go hear

Conclusion; Nigerian society encourages it , even our leaders beat their wives , ebonyi state governor , if a random man beats his wife and he is arrested , he wouldn’t be convicted because even if its a crime they dont see it as one , police will tell him to calm down and na woman she be , in short they will call the beaten wife and advice her to learn to respect her husband

This is us , its the way we are , when we now see threads about it , guys that beat women will be shouting no its wrong as if they are any better , all na internet holiness


its simple my sisters

From you're mad to a slap to push to punch to beating to knife to strangle to I will kill you till he eventually kills you

The domestic violence thing isn't an individual problem its a Nigerian problem

if a man slaps u, insults u or gets angry easily dont marry him run as fast as ur legs can carry u

The problem is that you offered no solution. Most women cannot take your advice and run. Poverty is very high and female poverty is much higher. You don't expect a lady to run from a man who feeds and houses her.
Again you did not tackle the root of domestic violence. It's actually about parents training their children to become violent people. Most Nigerian parents are violent with their kids. How do you expect the kids to grow up and not practice violence on their wives?
It's all about the strong picking on the weak.
The stronger parents beat their children and the stronger men beat their women simply.

QuinModah:
Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic
Domestic violence is a funny problem because everyone online fights against it and indoors dey practice it

Domestic violence is not an issue of today its something that is done regularly in our society and its often commonly overlooked , there is no Nigerian that hasn't seen a man beating his wife , from neighbors to friends even movies show it, its a common thing here, when kids or young boys see men beating their wives they accept that its the way to handle issues , the fact the social media has made it possible for people to reach out Doesn't mean that it will stop , its normal to nigerians so stop hoping for any change , instead be observant

The problem is the women not the men b4 u eat me raw hear me out

Antelope when know wetin lion be has no business staying in the same house with it - jude 2017

If a woman is dating a man , it only takes one incident for her to know that he is a violent person , maybe one day she annoys him and he insults her or slaps her a normal woman with brain in her head will run away from that relationship no matter how hard the guy begs but when this happens to most women they will stay because of love or they are desperate for marriage if he is rich , they will be hoping that he will change over time. When you marry a man that has slapped u b4 or is quick to insult u , expecting marriage to change him is desperation my sister

If u know that ur man is hot tempered and you're desperate or u love him them learn to handle him , dont talk back at him when he is angry , become a sheep after all you're the desperate person , if ur brain they work u learn to live with it

When u see news or stories of a man beating a woman , don't be deceived the man didn't just beat her for the first time that day , he has been doing it for a very very long time , na that day own u hear

Most women will talk bad about it but when it happens to them they are quiet , the common nigerian thing of no be my matter people go hear

Conclusion; Nigerian society encourages it , even our leaders beat their wives , ebonyi state governor , if a random man beats his wife and he is arrested , he wouldn’t be convicted because even if its a crime they dont see it as one , police will tell him to calm down and na woman she be , in short they will call the beaten wife and advice her to learn to respect her husband

This is us , its the way we are , when we now see threads about it , guys that beat women will be shouting no its wrong as if they are any better , all na internet holiness


its simple my sisters

From you're mad to a slap to push to punch to beating to knife to strangle to I will kill you till he eventually kills you

The domestic violence thing isn't an individual problem its a Nigerian problem

if a man slaps u, insults u or gets angry easily dont marry him run as fast as ur legs can carry u

Well according to a lot of men, our mothers “endured” so this new generation of women should also endure it.
It is the women that would just sit there to continue receiving the beating I blame sha.

Kobojunkie:
Can you provide a reference to this research you claim. I happen to know from experience that the claim there is false.

There are no known genetic markers for abuse. Instead those born and raised in abusive environments have a 50% chance of turning out abusers themselves, this all depending on how they themselves were nurtured and raised, particularly by the victim(mother and father) of the abuse.

Very true,my friend who beats his girlfriend back then is not from a broken home just that he is a spoilt brat

Thanks you OP, you're a smart lady.

The funny thing is that some of these women will never ever talk to their female friends again if she lifted a hand towards them. But when their bf/hubby does it, they become fools and tolerate it.

If your bf hits you, you need to exit immediately. No matter how much he begs, it will definitely happen again, he'll beg again, then the cycle will continue until you're dead.

I don't think people fully understand the impact of poverty.

That said, beyond economic issues, the violence boils down to how a culture regards women.

Poverty exacerbates the occurrence and severity of violence in those already experiencing it. Poverty doesn’t directly cause physical violence or abuse, but is, in a human rights context, a form of violence...

Extreme poverty is a form of structural violence, and as all human rights are related and intertwined, so are the different manifestations of violence that we experience.
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The truth about poverty is that it stems from social injustices that emerge from multiple parallels...

Economic stresses incite violence, and economic stress stems from violence.
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Being trapped in poverty or violence often implies being trapped in the other, because the two are so synonymous with human suffering and function to dehumanize individuals in a similar fashion through similar mechanisms.
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poverty and abuse...as issues of human rights, their underlying causes and potential alleviations are visible through the same lens.

...human rights mechanisms work to retain all rights for all people through universal access and protection.

BluntTheApostle:
For as long as you continue to fixate on physical abuse, domestic violence is going nowhere soon.

Domestic violence includes:

1. Physical (typically used by men)

2. Verbal (typically used by women)

3. Financial (both genders are capable)

4. Emotional (both genders are capable)

5. Psychological (both genders are capable).

You can't reduce domestic violence by fixating on reducing physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is even worse because it is subtle, and the victim may not know that they are being abused.

[b]If you as a woman are a chronic nag who resorts to hurtful words to hurt her husband, if he hits you, do not think he is the only one guilty of domestic violence. [/b]You both are guilty.

I have tried to sanitize society the best I could, but seems like you people just want to play a gender blame game, instead of tackling the malaise head-on.

Apostle, let me ask a question ooo.
If you and your fellow guy are having an argument and words start getting exchanged, would you start beating the guy?

MyVILLAGEpeople:


No man should ever raise his hand towards any woman. But some women mouth too sharp tho. I don see situations where the woman go first slap the man during arguments.

I can be patient with a woman’s shenanigans but if she dare to slap me,I will return the favour

Biglittlelois:
Instead of putting all the blame on women, attack the domestic violence epidemic from the root cause by stopping men from reacting with their fist at any slight provocation, there should be an awareness on disadvantages and damages of domestic violence in the family unit and the society at large

If we were in a sane society, every form of violence will be a crime cos it will result to arrest and termed as physical assult etc.

Women need to stop dating those kinds of men. Women are at fault because they find deviant men entertaining.

The good men that treat them how they're supposed to be treated are seen as boring and uninteresting.

People assume domestic violence is attributes of men only...
Madam/Sir counselors b4 you deep shallow knowledge into marital issues... Please get a diploma in psychology or mental health...

Please, study narcissistic personality disorder in males and females. Study borderline personalities, etc...
Your intension was to be educative it's a good thing but not complete n therefore misleading...
I challenge you to do a thorough study, possible with statistics considering mental health and do a repost...

You'll be surprised with the disparity of views you'll get.