Biglittlelois:
His family are not willing to volunteer to donate a kidney why?

maybe he doesn't take care of them

We overate the expectations of marriage, you cannot force your partner to donate or give to you that which they do not want to give for reasons best know to them. She didn't force her husband to partly train her in school. People need to understand that giving without expectation is bliss. The family of the man should try to get him a donor and treat his disease, if he decides to continue with the marriage afterwards, that's fine otherwise he moves on. There is no guarantee that he wouldn't cheat on her or even divorce her in the future if she donates her kidney to him.
Reduce your expectations from your partner and build yourself, that's marriage.

futurism:


If you like make you no learn from this. Any man who thinks a woman can really love him is fooling himself.

Women will only love you for what you bring to the table... they don't love carelessly as men do. Men are the foolish ones in this dating pool and the only person that can genuinely love a man is his mother, no one else.

This is true for most women. But do you think most men will be ready to give up one of there kidneys, to there wife ?

Is he married to his family or he is married to the girl?
Are they not one flesh and blood?

Biglittlelois:
His family are not willing to volunteer to donate a kidney why?

Your cousin should leave the marriage immediately. The fact that the husband's family is forcing her to donate her kidney to the husband is very worrisome. Your cousin has not done anything wrong by refusing to donate her kidney to the husband. If she is to donate her kidney, then it must be from her heart, not by force.

Acidbath:
So nobody for the man family be match abi? Abi dem adopt am?

You need maximum of 10 years to decide whether or not you can give nizoorian male spouse your kidney. One year too short.

it depends on his his relationship with his family after marriage

OreoPaschal:
Well, nobody is worth dying for. 12years ago, my elder sister suffered the same faith. Her husband divorced her, and the marriage was nullified. Sadly, she died 2years after. And the husband remarried. This is someone she dated for over 7years before marrying him.

In as much as I am a lover of love and sacrifice, this is a risky venture. I would advise they seek alternative donor, and if they insist she must donate. She should divorce the husband, and move on with her life. The husband's family won't allow the son to donate if the reverse was her case.

Na Mumu, dey die because of love!

no need of wasting another person’s kidney jo, anyone that does a kidney transplant will eventually die after few years, so why not just move on when the death comes instead of wasting another person’s kidney. I’m in support of the wife not giving him her kidney

Till death do us part no dey last again

Jalaw:
Is he married to his family or he is married to the girl?
Are they not one flesh and blood?

what flesh and blood? You dey talk as if you fit donate your own to your spouse

The man should have know that in a family, it's only the wife that is not the husband's relation, with this knowledge, he would have empowered himself long ago.

You folks recycle stories now? Tufia

Biglittlelois:



Especially his extended family, why are they all pushing it to the wife? What of his brothers and sisters? They obviously don't love him.

Oh...so now that it’s kidney problem..his extended family should do it.... she’s not his flesh again abi??
but if it’s mad money he made now , she’s entitled to the enjoyment more than the family including the mother...

Now one part of the flesh wants to tear it and japaa becos problem has come.... diaris God oooo

Here is my whatsapp number, 07019581801, I don't smoke, I drink one in a blue moon. Let's talk.

bobbybrown007:
I have two healthy kidneys giving out one won't be a bad thing, but will give it out at a right price.

big boss....oil dey ur head

The rest are just barking since this is what I have been waiting to read since lol

Well I don’t blame her for not wanting to part with her kidney... y’all ain’t in d marriage with her, neither were y’all in the relationship before it led to marriage.. do you know if her husband was a serial cheat or she passed through domestic violence?.. she must have a bonafide reason for not wanting to part with one of her kidney. Probably she’s even scared and might be thinking she might die during the operation.

I would give my husband a kidney sha. That's the man I married, he'll be worth it.

Iyaebe:
If true love existed between them this shouldn't be an issue but why is the man's family quick to push him to his wife,if it's to drag riches now they will say he's their son and only a wife and as such she does not have right to his properties. rubbish family

who does that in 2022

Humans are quite cold ,wow, this is the worst thing I've read this year

Why must she donate one of her kidneys?
She has a right to both.

.

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:


How did they not know about his kidney failure before marriage .
I know the optimistic part of me would really want to give that kidney to my husband but the logical side of me would not support that decision , marriage is not a do or die affair in my opinion since it's a new marriage and there's no child involved it's okay to leave if she feels pressured , it's not wickedness , the man could do same to her if she were to find herself in an unfortunate circumstance , I mean we see it everyday where the women can't have a child and the man ends up marrying someone else or having children in secret , and some will cheat on their wives because she's no longer pretty after 5 kids and is worn out from her very demanding job

The stories I see of this marriage thing is making me doubt that I will even marry who I love , in the selfish world the selfish succeed , you can't force someone to drink medicine for another person's sickness , if she offers to help willingly it's different but saying she has to because he's her husband is ridiculous , it basically means that she has no say in the matter , it's a very toxic type of entitlement

I'm glad I made the decision not to marry , all you wrote here just convinced me that I made the right decision. What's the essence of the for better for worse ? Are you guys really serious ?

Beebah2000:
Una way dey make noise, una gree make them remove one of your kidney, give your wife or husband??
Noise makers na e full this forum.

self preservation is a human default trait.

Many people talking being in that position will not. It's a fact especially for Nigerians .


From what I have seen ,I will not allow any woman I know try that especially not with a Nigerian man in Nigeria where there are no laws protecting the interest of women in marriages.

Recycled fake story.
Anyway, she doesn't have to give him her kidney if she isn't comfortable to do so.
Nobody should ever be shamed for not agreeing to be an organ donor.
She doesn't have to divorce him because of that though. She can however support him.
She and his family can help source for more funds to pay someone willing to donate, especially if non of his family members are ready to be tested to see if they're a match. Those services are available afterall.
I'm sure his parents, siblings would be willing to sell their house and properties to help raise funds. She too can go around her own relatives to help raise some funds to help her husband.

Hamachi:
My cousin who got married last year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

A. Would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

B. The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

No, quit
He wasn't sincere about the state of his health

Rubyjade:
Let's talk via DM

I don't no how DM on Nairaland works? If you can relate to me via whatsapp, have dropped my number.

Lie lie story , when she knows she will not give him, why did she allow them test her, to confirm her kidney is same with his?

Any way my advice is very simple , if the operatoon is taking place in Usa ,abroad, let her give the success rate might be high,but if the operation is taking place here , uhmm it is risky oooo, so they will not lose two children,
who will now take care of the kids? If two of them risk their lives .










quote author=Hamachi post=110989641]My cousin who got married last year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

A. Would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

B. The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?[/quote]

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:


How did they not know about his kidney failure before marriage .
I know the optimistic part of me would really want to give that kidney to my husband but the logical side of me would not support that decision , marriage is not a do or die affair in my opinion since it's a new marriage and there's no child involved it's okay to leave if she feels pressured , it's not wickedness , the man could do same to her if she were to find herself in an unfortunate circumstance , I mean we see it everyday where the women can't have a child and the man ends up marrying someone else or having children in secret , and some will cheat on their wives because she's no longer pretty after 5 kids and is worn out from her very demanding job

The stories I see of this marriage thing is making me doubt that I will even marry who I love , in the selfish world the selfish succeed , you can't force someone to drink medicine for another person's sickness , if she offers to help willingly it's different but saying she has to because he's her husband is ridiculous , it basically means that she has no say in the matter , it's a very toxic type of entitlement

She has an obligation to help as the wife. That's why it is a marriage. It is her duty just as it would have been the husband's duty if the tables had turned.

That is exactly why before going into marriage both parties should understand what marriage means.

People should stop rushing into marriage and saying vows they do not understand. Then when the chips are down, they start giving flimsy excuses.

Staying single is not a crime, but please do not redefine marriage. Marriage means that both parties leave their parents and come to together as one.

Giving instances of selfish acts by men and women in marriage still buttresses the same point that people should stay single.

In marriage you don't sacrifice because it is comfortable. You sacrifice and discomfort yourself because it is what you swore to do.

The man must bend backwards to provide no matter how difficult. The woman despite not being in the mood smiles and allows sex. Despite being tired prepares food for the children. The man uses his last card to pay school fees.

I expect the wife to give up her Kidney to save the husband's life or find a solution together with him.

Running is not the solution. She is his wife and they are one!

Biglittlelois:



What of the the man's family? Why can't they give a kidney? Aren't they also evil?

Can't you read what the OP said?
He said the wife's kidney is compatible to the husband's own.. Please read and comprehend before quoting others opinion.

Iyaebe:
If true love existed between them this shouldn't be an issue but why is the man's family quick to push him to his wife,if it's to drag riches now they will say he's their son and only a wife and as such she does not have right to his properties. rubbish family

don't give yourself BP on-top fake story.

maak400:
If the woman was the one diagnosed with kidney failure, she and her family would expect the man to donate his kidney, and feminists would have dragged the man like tiger generator for refusing to donate his precious kidney. Women and selfishness.

Nobody will drag the man.
It seems it's men that expect and demand so much from their partners, even their lives if possible.
Sponsoring someone through school doesn't mean they owe you a kidney.
For better for worse doesn’t mean they should donate a kidney to you.
Organ donation/blood donation are honorable deeds, but nobody should ever be coerced into doing that.
All I see about the original post is coersion.
Meanwhile, research out there shows wives are 5x more likely to donate a kidney to their spouse than their husbands are.
And most living donors are women, while most recipients are males