bepositive11:


This is the first time I'm hearing about the age and friend base factor. Were you older when you went? How did you cope?

Why can't he stay with Emeka? People there don't like to help others out? Why?

I was older....finished with schooling so never had that opportunity to increase my friend base. Loneliness isn't a problem for me since my entire immediate family is over here as well as quite a few of my friends...... and most live less than 30 minutes away. Then due to work and the nature of work..... there is another set of "friends" .... that really are associates in that after work each gone his separate way ... not ones that one will normally go to their home or hang out. These are the ones people mainly refer to as their friends... have many White friends... have many Black friends etc. I do talk to a whole lot of people.... I know them... but I don't know them! Associates!

On Emeka .... each man has to bear his own weight here... no free rides. People love and cherish their privacy.... will accommodate you for mainly up to two weeks....after that.... you are no longer a welcomed guest.... disrupting the budget... disrupting the freedom in the house.... as in some people wear verrrry little or no clothes at home.... but Emeka is hovering in the house... can't even get out the shower butt naked.... time for Emeka to leave. Above this is you can establish residency in the house. As in you begin to use the address and receive mail.... mail from applications for jobs... credit cards ... something you ordered from Amazon etc. You have clothes etc in the house .... and now the host is tired of you ... tells you 2 more days you have to go. Time comes... you don't leave ... but sitting on the sofa sipping juice... host gets angry ... dash your stuff outside... grab you and force you out. You call the Police... claim assault.... host says it is a lie and you don't live there. You claim yes you do .... with evidence.... asks for order of protection.... host has to leave... you remain in his house.....he gone searching for shelter ... but still has to pay rent when due. Two weeks..... Emeka has to go! Start receiving mail.....Emeka has to go! But it's snowing outside... Emeka has to go. It is the reality abroad..... agree or disagree.... changes nothing... it is what it is.

Originalsly:


People love and cherish their privacy....

They love privacy too much!

Just imagine, on a bus or a train if you stand with Bible to preach Gods word they will summon policemen to arrest you!

Also Godlessness and immorality is very bad. Most are not Christians, many are atheist. Some even walk openly as homosexuals without fear of reprisal!

Many snares have been laid for believers.

bepositive11:


You need to learn how to see things from their perspective. While you're thinking "they're racist", they're thinking "it's better safe than sorry"

We can't deny the fact that Africans, Nigerians especially, have made a bad name for themselves. If we want people to feel safe with us, we need to start working on our reputation

not at all. Is racism. They are many bad white people but they hide it. If you do a little bad stuff, it gets exaggerated.

Raalsalghul:


There's also "accent based discrimination" which is why a Black Brit would prefer to be friends with a white than an African.

All in all, discrimination is ingrained in Human D.N.A: Race, Accent, Tribe, Religion, Marital Status, Class etc.

yep accent based is real. Even eastern europeans are discriminated against.

Itzlinda:


What’s this rat race. Abi dem no de make money there?

pay check to pay check. Thats why many brothers having nothing to show after several years of living and working.

Raalsalghul:


There's also "accent based discrimination" which is why a Black Brit would prefer to be friends with a white than an African.

All in all, discrimination is ingrained in Human D.N.A: Race, Accent, Tribe, Religion, Marital Status, Class etc.

I know this for sure, I'm not even worried about this. I don't even need them as friends, I rather keep the Nigerian friends I came with.

truthsayer009:


I know this for sure, I'm not even worried about this. I don't even need them as friends, I rather keep the Nigerian friends I came with.

I get, but you go need to branch out a little bit: at least.

Raalsalghul:


I get, but you go need to branch out a little bit: at least.

Yep, when I start working though. It's better to have something in common first. I have some few friends around me from Pakistan, Serbia & Turkey.

bepositive11:




So is the comfortable life abroad just a myth?

"Comfortable life abroad" is a very general phrase coz India ,Nicaragua and Philippines is abroad yet poor.

But yes the buying power in the west is higher and comforts are available but you really have to work very hard for them.Its up to you to make it a reality or a myth.

bepositive11:




So is the comfortable life abroad just a myth?

According tyhis 2021 report there's only 56m individuals in the whole world who are worth $1m USD.

Global Wealth Report 2021 - Credit Suisse
Search domain credit-suisse.comhttps://www.credit-suisse.com › articles › media-releases › 2021 › 06 › en › global-wealth-report-

jesmond3945:
not at all. Is racism. They are many bad white people but they hide it. If you do a little bad stuff, it gets exaggerated.

Whites have family members and friends who are white, so they can tell which white to stay away from.

Whites may not know enough blacks who have made a good impression

You must've seen ads for UK used phones here on Nairaland, a lot of them (if not all) were stolen

And see the news on Nairaland every day - ritual killings, fraud, scam, kidnappings, armed robbery, rape, sexual harassment. What will a white person think about blacks when they see all this? Will they feel safe being around blacks?

Bifwoli:
"Comfortable life abroad" is a very general phrase coz India ,Nicaragua and Philippines is abroad yet poor.

But yes the buying power in the west is higher and comforts are available but you really have to work very hard for them.Its up to you to make it a reality or a myth.

I get what you're saying

Bifwoli:
According tyhis 2021 report there's only 56m individuals in the whole world who are worth $1m USD.

Global Wealth Report 2021 - Credit Suisse
Search domain credit-suisse.comhttps://www.credit-suisse.com › articles › media-releases › 2021 › 06 › en › global-wealth-report-

Wow! Wealth really is unequally distributed by far!

I'm glad that you have friends and family there

Good point. It's important to distinguish between friends and associates

I will keep your story of Emeka in mind. I will make sure that I avoid being Emeka. I don't want to be a burden to other people

Originalsly:


I was older....finished with schooling so never had that opportunity to increase my friend base. Loneliness isn't a problem for me since my entire immediate family is over here as well as quite a few of my friends...... and most live less than 30 minutes away. Then due to work and the nature of work..... there is another set of "friends" .... that really are associates in that after work each gone his separate way ... not ones that one will normally go to their home or hang out. These are the ones people mainly refer to as their friends... have many White friends... have many Black friends etc. I do talk to a whole lot of people.... I know them... but I don't know them! Associates!

On Emeka .... each man has to bear his own weight here... no free rides. People love and cherish their privacy.... will accommodate you for mainly up to two weeks....after that.... you are no longer a welcomed guest.... disrupting the budget... disrupting the freedom in the house.... as in some people wear verrrry little or no clothes at home.... but Emeka is hovering in the house... can't even get out the shower butt naked.... time for Emeka to leave. Above this is you can establish residency in the house. As in you begin to use the address and receive mail.... mail from applications for jobs... credit cards ... something you ordered from Amazon etc. You have clothes etc in the house .... and now the host is tired of you ... tells you 2 more days you have to go. Time comes... you don't leave ... but sitting on the sofa sipping juice... host gets angry ... dash your stuff outside... grab you and force you out. You call the Police... claim assault.... host says it is a lie and you don't live there. You claim yes you do .... with evidence.... asks for order of protection.... host has to leave... you remain in his house.....he gone searching for shelter ... but still has to pay rent when due. Two weeks..... Emeka has to go! Start receiving mail.....Emeka has to go! But it's snowing outside... Emeka has to go. It is the reality abroad..... agree or disagree.... changes nothing... it is what it is.

Aaronsrod:


I belive this is most serious.

Forget domestic obedience.

You cannot even beat a dog talk less of your wife and children

Why would you beat your wife?

bepositive11:


I think we need to be honest with ourselves here. Nigerians are well known for making a bad name for themselves. We are well known around the world for fraud. Unfortunately, the innocent ones end up paying a price

How can they differentiate between the Nigerians who are genuine, honest, and kind and the Nigerians who are liars, fraudsters, and thieves?

I honestly don't blame them for being afraid. Even us Nigerians, we are sometimes suspicious of the intentions of our fellow Nigerians

So nationality is now written in foreheads? Theybsee a black approaching, they know he's Nigerian and they shift away, right? Make it make sense

bepositive11:


You need to learn how to see things from their perspective. While you're thinking "they're racist", they're thinking "it's better safe than sorry"

We can't deny the fact that Africans, Nigerians especially, have made a bad name for themselves. If we want people to feel safe with us, we need to start working on our reputation

I think you should shut up and seek therapy for your self hate. You not even seen an airport before but you hate your skin so much, you kiss the assss of the Caucasians.

Princewill1:
1. Racism And Discrimination.

2. Loneliness And Absence Of African Communal Living.

3. Strict And High Taxation.

4. Severe Weather Conditions.

5. Exposure To Natural Disasters: Hurricanes in North America, Earthquakes And Tornado in Asia etc.

6. Feminism And Favourable Women's laws. If you're a man.

7. Proneness To heavy Indebtedness: They run a credit-based economy.

8. Being Forced To Accept Anti-African Culture And Behaviors: Polygamy is forbidden and illegal, while LGBT is promoted.

9. High Cost And Limited Access To Lots Of African Foods.

10. The last And Not The Least Is: RAT RACE
It will take wisdom and God's intervention for you to escape from it.

8 is not a con. Come back to your country if you can't abide or cope.

Aaronsrod:


They love privacy too much!

Just imagine, on a bus or a train if you stand with Bible to preach Gods word they will summon policemen to arrest you!

Also Godlessness and immorality is very bad. Most are not Christians, many are atheist. Some even walk openly as homosexuals without fear of reprisal!

Many snares have been laid for believers.

Go back to your country. Their country, their rules!!!!

yunqdady:

Why would you beat your wife?

What is this one saying?

I beat whosoever I choose in my own house!

I will beat you too if you come here and ask foolish questions. Mtcheeeew!

Aaronsrod:


What is this one saying?

I beat whosoever I choose in my own house!

I will beat you too if you come here and ask foolish questions. Mtcheeeew!

Check with a shrink. You going through crisis.

bepositive11:


Why do you say that racism isn't going anywhere? How bad is it?

It's just reality. Human beings typically prefer people who are just like them and most of these countries have years and years of institutionalized racism. Even when you don't see it, best believe that it's there. It affects promotions at work, it affects children's experiences in school, it affects life as a whole. How bad it is depends on the situation and the sensitivity of the individual. A lot of nigerians that say they only have white friends are wining and dining with racists but it's not easy for them to see it because they are tone deaf. They feel happy when white people tell them that they are different from other black people, they don't notice the comments about their culture and food, or when their white friends keep mute on serious racial issues. If you want to have a balanced life abroad, don't run away from people like you, be friendly with everyone and pick your close circle based on values and not skin color. You will meet white and asian people in school or at work, keep them in your network so that you can continue to work your way through the system. If you plan to have children especially, please have friends from your culture and country, don't raise confused children that have no culture. The generation before us that came and befriended only non-nigerians are regretting it now that their children don't fit in anywhere. The pride that your children will have in their skin color and culture will come from them watching you. What will they learn from a self-hating parent that speaks poorly about their people? Most importantly, don't break any laws or keep friends that break laws, you will find out that black people typically get harsher sentences. Try to get into a high paying field, comfort is important. Money lowers the voice of racism - when you can afford really nice things, eat at fancy restaurants and shop at certain places, etc but it won't take it away.

abike12:


It's just reality. Human beings typically prefer people who are just like them and most of these countries have years and years of institutionalized racism. Even when you don't see it, best believe that it's there. It affects promotions at work, it affects children's experiences in school, it affects life as a whole. How bad it is depends on the situation and the sensitivity of the individual. A lot of nigerians that say they only have white friends are wining and dining with racists but it's not easy for them to see it because they are tone deaf. They feel happy when white people tell them that they are different from other black people, they don't notice the comments about their culture and food, or when their white friends keep mute on serious racial issues. If you want to have a balanced life abroad, don't run away from people like you, be friendly with everyone and pick your close circle based on values and not skin color. You will meet white and asian people in school or at work, keep them in your network so that you can continue to work your way through the system. If you plan to have children especially, please have friends from your culture and country, don't raise confused children that have no culture. The generation before us that came and befriended only non-nigerians are regretting it now that their children don't fit in anywhere. The pride that your children will have in their skin color and culture will come from them watching you. What will they learn from a self-hating parent that speaks poorly about their people? Most importantly, don't break any laws or keep friends that break laws, you will find out that black people typically get harsher sentences. Try to get into a high paying field, comfort is important. Money lowers the voice of racism - when you can afford really nice things, eat at fancy restaurants and shop at certain places, etc but it won't take it away.

Thank you Abike, i owe you 2 wooden crates of Lone Star Beer.

Straight to the point, no mincing words.

I feel sorry for people who travel & lose their identity because of so called Western values.

yunqdady:

I think you should shut up and seek therapy for your self hate. You not even seen an airport before but you hate your skin so much, you kiss the assss of the Caucasians.

It's seeing reality for what it is. Open your eyes and stop being ignorant. And who told you that I haven't seen an airport? Just see the way you're talking to me and you're telling me to seek therapy. You are the one who needs therapy

Are you comfortable being around Nigerians? In Nigeria, do you not worry about getting robbed, kidnapped or abducted and killed for rituals?

There are great educated Nigerians, but there are also sadly some who give us a bad reputation. Please stop being ignorant about it

Very nice comment. I will definitely continue to make friends based on values not on skin colour and will surround myself with people in the same race when raising kids

What you're saying is true. I've heard it from some blacks who grew up in white neighbourhoods and felt inferior because of their skin colour

Please let me know if you agree with this though. When it comes to racism, I honestly believe that Africans contribute to it. While some Africans make a good impression and win people's respect, a lot of Africans make a bad name for themselves by getting involved in illegal activities

For example, Nigeria is well know for romance fraud and the Nigerian Prince scam

Yes, some whites hate blacks just because they have a different skin colour, but some blacks add to the hate

abike12:


It's just reality. Human beings typically prefer people who are just like them and most of these countries have years and years of institutionalized racism. Even when you don't see it, best believe that it's there. It affects promotions at work, it affects children's experiences in school, it affects life as a whole. How bad it is depends on the situation and the sensitivity of the individual. A lot of nigerians that say they only have white friends are wining and dining with racists but it's not easy for them to see it because they are tone deaf. They feel happy when white people tell them that they are different from other black people, they don't notice the comments about their culture and food, or when their white friends keep mute on serious racial issues. If you want to have a balanced life abroad, don't run away from people like you, be friendly with everyone and pick your close circle based on values and not skin color. You will meet white and asian people in school or at work, keep them in your network so that you can continue to work your way through the system. If you plan to have children especially, please have friends from your culture and country, don't raise confused children that have no culture. The generation before us that came and befriended only non-nigerians are regretting it now that their children don't fit in anywhere. The pride that your children will have in their skin color and culture will come from them watching you. What will they learn from a self-hating parent that speaks poorly about their people? Most importantly, don't break any laws or keep friends that break laws, you will find out that black people typically get harsher sentences. Try to get into a high paying field, comfort is important. Money lowers the voice of racism - when you can afford really nice things, eat at fancy restaurants and shop at certain places, etc but it won't take it away.

bepositive11:


It's seeing reality for what it is. Open your eyes and stop being ignorant. And who told you that I haven't seen an airport? Just see the way you're talking to me and you're telling me to seek therapy. You are the one who needs therapy

Are you comfortable being around Nigerians? In Nigeria, do you not worry about getting robbed, kidnapped or abducted and killed for rituals?

There are great educated Nigerians, but there are also sadly some who give us a bad reputation. Please stop being ignorant about it

I repeat

I think you should shut up and seek therapy for your self hate. You not even seen an airport before but you hate your skin so much, you kiss the assss of the Caucasians.


You Blackophobe. Internalised Blackophobia is a disease.

truthsayer009:


Thank you Abike, i owe you 2 wooden crates of Lone Star Beer.

Straight to the point, no mincing words.

I feel sorry for people who travel & lose their identity because of so called Western values.

Oya o when am I getting my beer?

bepositive11:
Very nice comment. I will definitely continue to make friends based on values not on skin colour and will surround myself with people in the same race when raising kids

What you're saying is true. I've heard it from some blacks who grew up in white neighbourhoods and felt inferior because of their skin colour

Please let me know if you agree with this though. When it comes to racism, I honestly believe that Africans contribute to it. While some Africans make a good impression and win people's respect, a lot of Africans make a bad name for themselves by getting involved in illegal activities

For example, Nigeria is well know for romance fraud and the Nigerian Prince scam

Yes, some whites hate blacks just because they have a different skin colour, but some blacks add to the hate

hmm... it's a lot more complicated than that but let me explain it like this. Black people didn't cause racism, even from history. We never asked anyone to call us monkeys or associate black skin with negative things. Don't think of it as something we can cause, it's more like something that was (and is still) done to us. If you take time to read news from around the world, especially pertaining children, you will see that in most cases it's not about how law abiding (or not) the person is, it's about a system that has been designed to treat black people a certain way, even from a young age. Romance fraud is very common in russia and other countries, even some of the so called "nigerian princes" are not even black, but why is it always a bigger deal when it's a black person caught in a crime. Look at how netflix portrayed the tinder swindler and anna delvey, do you think the narrative would have been the same if they were black? I'm not supporting criminal activity and I don't even have as much as a speeding ticket but it's incorrect to say that africans contribute to racism. People of all races commit crimes.

abike12:


Oya o when am I getting my beer?

No worry, I go order am online for you.

Read your comment to yourself. Tell me, would any decent person want to be around you?

I'm proud of my African heritage, and I neither see whites as superior nor blacks as inferior.

Have a good day

yunqdady:

I repeat

I think you should shut up and seek therapy for your self hate. You not even seen an airport before but you hate your skin so much, you kiss the assss of the Caucasians.


You Blackophobe. Internalised Blackophobia is a disease.

truthsayer009:


Okay, please let's analyse this together. You see a man walking towards you in the UK asking for direction & you start moving away.

So how do you know this "certain black man" is from Nigeria or any other country in Africa, is there a Nigerian flag placed on black people's forehead?

I don't know when it is okay to accept that this Brits are simply racist, until they print it on A4 paper and send to you before you accept the reality.

I think it depends on where you stay. I have not experienced any such thing here. Infact, the white nurses ( girls) have mad love for the blacks that the black guys even run away for fear of being put into problem cos of excessive drinking and smoking.
Some kids might be racist at first but if they see you are intelligent, they start dropping it. They like to stand in the buses, not just because they don't want to seat close to black

bepositive11:
Please enlighten us Nairalanders on the cons of moving abroad to give us a more balanced view of what life is like abroad.

Please share your negative experiences and your struggles to settle in and to get to a point of living comfortably.

No positive experiences, please. Only the negative ones since we always hear the positives.

Cc: lalasticlala

its boring here