Jajasabali:
Colorado go open Op eye him no go tell even him brother yes again I miss Colorado I made the best decisions of my life when I was high on Colorado lol Now I'm too busy Maybe when I go oniru this Sunday I go buy It gives me reality check so I know where I'm getting things wrong Funny but true

sha take am easy o. Persin dey craze o

Anyway, I think my case is different.
Am soft hearted, down to earth, feel ppls pain and equally somehow shy guy but u dare not take advantages of that.
Cos if you try to, you will discover that am actually a devil when provoked.
I don't regret being who God created me to be likewise I can't let anyone trample on me because I am not rascal or hard.

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

First, start hating everybody and always stretch your hands to slap faces. Remember that would always leads to yawa so no going back.

GooodHardDick:
[s]OP, become a redpiller and know how these games works!

Be selfie, Be alpha person, no send no poo, don't be needy, don't be available all the time. Make her know she's not the only one, but show her love. Use the exact words on her don't paraphrase. Fvck is fvck, kiss is kiss. Smooch is smooch, don't do parental guidance. Don't be slow to say what you want. With these and many more your bad boy/redpiller life is loading. Dress neat remember you come first.[/s]

Who da fvCk is talking about woman matter here?

Redpillers and alpha males should not be put in the same sentence. The latter ain't frustrated sex starved f@gg0ts like the former.

Closet pu$$i slave.

sandra50:
Tell everyone to Bleep off without saying it out..this is the world we live in where the world favours the stone hearted and not the soft hearted..everyone wants to take advantage of you..you give so much and when it comes to your turn everyone disappears..for many years I have not had friends and I have also decided not to date any one again..not here in Nigeria again because being nice here means weakness and they start playing with you.

Can we be friends ? I think we share same views .. I mean it

sandra50:
Tell everyone to Bleep off without saying it out..this is the world we live in where the world favours the stone hearted and not the soft hearted..everyone wants to take advantage of you..you give so much and when it comes to your turn everyone disappears..for many years I have not had friends and I have also decided not to date any one again..not here in Nigeria again because being nice here means weakness and they start playing with you.

.

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Guy there is nothing you can do about it.
That's your strength don't think its a weakness, no matter how u try u still keep falling victim either by trusting or giving people chance. Not your fault, its just that u are a right person in a wrong society, soon your like mind we locate you and u will enjoy your nature. U can't change it just as a wicked man can never change

OP, don’t listen to the advise of the people saying you should try colorado please. That shit can make you go crazy. Being strong hearted has nothing to do with drug. It’s something you have to build from inside you. Like I said before be emotionless and calculative when acting

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Diju pa
Le ju pa
Kala
Ma rẹrin

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Continue to be kind but be firm

Solofresh2:
Exactly.Anytime I try acting like a hard guys, my conscience comes to life.Not that am doing something bad oo.For example maybe someone ask me for something but I decided not to give due to genuine reasons best known to me

It would help to begin to live with margin. Your emotions should not control your logical thinking. If you have genuine reasons not to give, stick with it. If you decide to make a sacrifice, all well and good. Let your actions be well thought out and decided after weighing the options.

My father told me you can't really change who you really are.

Although it's an advantage being kind, if you can harness your kind heartedness,
1) you need to be wiser than everyone around you so that you would be able to put a limit to things and people's encroachment
2) you need to have genuine love for people, I mean selfless love for humanity and God's creation so you don't feel used while practicing genuine love.
3) kindness is a door to spiritual enlightenment if you know how to harness your being kind.

Just be the best version of yourself, cos that's the best you can ever be.
Don't be fake

Very true......
kindness & humility is key to spiritual intelligence

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Rrad about assertiveness and how to be assertive. Start small like that.

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Don't let the behavior of others to define you. Who's good is good.

You just have to be smart and create boundaries - if you're good in the heart people would take advantage of that. But if you're doing it because of God and humanity, then, don't stop. He'll place you above all those who are trying to take advantage of you.

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Don't change. But only show your soft nature towards those who deserve or have earned it.

Any other person should be granted favours on trade by barter. That is how the world works now. No one gives a sh1t.

Mikester:


You need to experience true hardship first-hand. It will naturally make you more rigid in your decisions.

I concur.
Hardship, failure etc makes one hard hearted

If you have a genuine reason to say NO, then say it no matter who it is, even the people you called bad have same emotions too but they suppress it and face reality.

I assume you haven't suffered from your emotional decisions, that's why you are saying this some things you said here.

You don't need to change to a bad person but never do a good that will affect you badly you in any way, it ends up being foolishness and once you help someone and that person defaults without you seeing the real as genuine, ghost that person out of your life else them go just open market for your head.

Nigerian don't appreciate meekness, even your dog will take you on granted.

Stop watching zee world and Telenovela be watching action movies like gangster, drugs, harden criminal related movies you automatically become akpor (very mean) try movie like Jackson lyrics, state property there many more.

I've always been in your shoes so I understand perfectly. Someone will do unspeakable things to u and the moment u retaliate just once u will lose your mind feeling so bad. I hate that shit. Even resorted to weed at some point just to be hard hearted but all na lie. That's how you're being wired. The best solution is to surround yourself with few people that will see that weakness as strength and won't take advantage of u. And lastly if you're soft hearted limit the people in your circle

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

BigRocky:
Bro soft hrt will only get you used and dump.

I promise you,e no dey pay.

Myself I have soft hrt and I hate it .

Looking for ways to change too but is hard
My conscience na supreme Court judge,e no dey let me rest

this your topic is exactly what what I'm facing and it has really destroyed my finance.Usually I don't comment on nairaland ,but this particular one has really touched me reason is I'm broke now not because I'm supposed to but been too emotional and kind hearted over 3m naira just in few months to d hands of ppl that are so wicked,they just take advantage of me even in relationships ladies do same to kind-hearted men and dump them.Bro if I narrate my experience today wouldn't end just get up and continue to work on your self,mine almost led to succide because I kept vowing that I will not repeat it but ppl know that when they confront me I borrow to give ,buy on credit for others,it so pathetic that Nigerians don't deserve such and when u see another person advicing u on such he or she too has a wrong motive I don't know mean all d time but most times ,d reason is for u to have sufficient for d advicer to benefit more from you I have all this experience .

Godfullsam:
@OP, there is difference between soft hearted and Mumu. I hope you are not hiding under the umbrella of 'MUMUNESS' to claim soft heart?

Did you even make sense?

Solofresh2:
Not like that.People take advantage of my kindness and I don't like it.I lack confidence too

Your problem is simply lack of confidence and not light heartedness.

Work on your confidence(self esteem) and you will be able to make decisions and stand by it without any p.

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

You need to develop/upgrade your mind with the right/liberating info in order to escape this limitation barrier...

Go and read this book and thank me later...

"No more Mr Nice Guy"
Dr. Robert A. Glover

I am willing to help you with the pdf or EPUF file if you drop your mail id...

Also check my profile to read a thread I posted few weeks back on "Kind Vs Nice"

Cheers and goodluck!!!

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Bros in honesty there is nothing you can do about it that is how God wired you, am like you even if you pretended to be hard and take hard decisions you will get stuck in the middle and back down, mine made me marry an ex prostitute I don't have to who later came to attacked me later in life. What you do is to pray to the almighty to keep bad people away from your Parth in life. Even your grow up siblings will attacked you later in life after using you not to talk of strangers.

Candidlady:



Yeah iknow.. he needs to say no! No matter how genuine or fake the person sounds! What's a man without his own grounds? Ground_NUTS

If it doesn't favour you say NO. Nobody can beat you.. he busy thinking of what people will say! Icall that EYE SERVICE

CandidLady!!!
After BUHARI, Na You We Know

Solofresh2:
Not like that.People take advantage of my kindness and I don't like it.I lack confidence too

Same here � and I'm tired of it

Na my biggest problem be this o...

BigRocky:
Bro soft hrt will only get you used and dump.

I promise you,e no dey pay.

Myself I have soft hrt and I hate it .

Looking for ways to change too but is hard
My conscience na supreme Court judge,e no dey let me rest

Jerry88:
this your topic is exactly what what I'm facing and it has really destroyed my finance.Usually I don't comment on nairaland ,but this particular one has really touched me reason is I'm broke now not because I'm supposed to but been too emotional and kind hearted over 3m naira just in few months to d hands of ppl that are so wicked,they just take advantage of me even in relationships ladies do same to kind-hearted men and dump them.Bro if I narrate my experience today wouldn't end just get up and continue to work on your self,mine almost led to succide because I kept vowing that I will not repeat it but ppl know that when they confront me I borrow to give ,buy on credit for others,it so pathetic that Nigerians don't deserve such and when u see another person advicing u on such he or she too has a wrong motive I don't know mean all d time but most times ,d reason is for u to have sufficient for d advicer to benefit more from you I have all this experience .

Your story is touching bro.

Hope you are okay and doing fine now?

We should learn to put logic first before emotions.
Am beginning to wise up

We will all be fine,we should learn to damn our conscience (is hard)but is a task that must be accomplished.

francisobiabo:
Na my biggest problem be this o...

Solofresh2:
Exactly.Anytime I try acting like a hard guys, my conscience comes to life.Not that am doing something bad oo.For example maybe someone ask me for something but I decided not to give due to genuine reasons best known to me

Bro please I need your help. I've been out of Job since last year and I'm currently broke. I need Job or cash.

Guy, continue your way,their is light at the end of TUNNEL