Candidlady:



My dad is sick, my mum is sick, my aunt just gave birth, my brother needs school fees, my dog needs to see the vet, can you please help with 100 thou ?

Don't forget you are on a public forum where the whole world might see this and criticize you if you turn me down!

who let the dogs out

Thats nature for u. And u can't change that. . Cøntinue being soft hearted. . God will fiqht for u in hard ways

A Redpiller to be spotted

Solofresh2:
Exactly.Anytime I try acting like a hard guys, my conscience comes to life.Not that am doing something bad oo.For example maybe someone ask me for something but I decided not to give due to genuine reasons best known to me

The bad feeling only lasts for a while, if u say No a few times it would become normal to u, u won't feel guilty anymore....Never try to explain to anybody the reason for ur refusal....just say No!...They would back off due to d unexpected shock

lecowas:


E no bad reach that level na, u wan Maga that guy for day light, soft hearted people can do everything when they think the intention is genuine, otherwise they can be the most wicked set of human beings. Once they are able to successfully convince their conscience, the rest is la give la bend

Yeah....the bottle-neck is the conscience.
When successfully convinced, the unthinkable can be done...just anything.

LadyTara:
Lol.


People are born with personality traits, usually people change from bad to good to be better but you wan change from good to bad. Inside life.


I know it can be annoying sometimes because your nature makes it easy to be walked on and taken for a ride ,but please don't let that dissuad you from being the best good version of yourself. We need people like you to balance up the energy of "evilness"flying around.

Do you know that you can get killed for being a good guy in this country? I think the guy is seeing the writing on the wall. If too many people are taking advantage of your kindheartedness and you can't take sh*t no more, then you will end up making more enemies for yourself than the guy who has not done anything to help people's causes. Bottom line is, in anything you do in this country, just be wise. Don't commit yourself too much, at the same time don't be too distant from people. Know when to say NO and when you should take steps.

pacespot:


Do you know that you can get killed for being a good guy in this country? I think the guy is seeing the writing on the wall. If too many people are taking advantage of your kindheartedness and you can't take sh*t no more, then you will end up making more enemies for yourself than the guy who has not done anything to help people's causes. Bottom line is, in anything you do in this country, just be wise. Don't commit yourself too much, at the same time don't be too distant from people. Know when to say NO and when you should take steps.

I second the bolded.

There is nothing wrong in setting healthy boundaries without having to explain yourself.

As a recovered softy, I can offer suggestions. Read this book "The Courage to be Disliked" by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. I also highly recommend the audio book. Read and/or listen as many times as you need to re-register. It is not easy but you have taken the first step - recognizing it is a weakness that MUST be eliminated.

[quote author=friendlyadvice post=111939162]

1. Learn a combat sport ie boxing or karate
It helps you to be more confrontational and boosts your testosterone
2. Learn to say no. As hard as it is, learn to live with the awkwardness of saying no to people, even if its family
3. Learn to stand by your word don't let people tell you how to live your life. if you have an idea,seek advice if you want but don't seek peoples approval to carry out said idea go for it if you fail, it is a lesson
4. Learn how to debate. Take on more activities that has to do with public speaking and engage in this periodically
5 everybody is selfish in nature nobody deserves your unconditional love and no one ever will. So drop the chivalry and put yourself first in EVERYTHING you do[/quote


I gained alot from your write up...thank you.

Congratulations ! You have a very good heart.

Just be strick in differentiating between time to stick to pure reasoning, especially relating to work or business and when to switch to your kind heart mode as a philanthropist.

Good luck.

Meanwhile you resemble Nigeria.

Some people are busy operating the banditry system of the pre civilization period, while others sit with register to pardon the repentance bandits, irrespective of number of lives lost in the hands of the bandits.

Nigeria has a heart like yours.

How

A dating advice question I get asked a lot by women/men is "Should you have sex on the 1st date? When is the best time to sleep with a guy/girl? Is it bad for a woman/man to have sex with a guy on the first date?".

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM5PQgmh1Ys

I am also on this table. But i have changed. What made me change is when a lady kept collecting things from me but refused me boobs.

Op if you want to be strong hearted. Play bet with huge amount and make sure you lose. You will hate everything around you.

This is a trait you're born with, why do you want to CHANGE? You're easily taken for granted because we are living in an imperfect World. People easily glorifies Arrogance, selfish doings or self centerdness, pride, bullying etc. While they view Soft hearted people as WEAK. But actually Soft hearted fellows are recongnised to be one of the smartest and Strongest people on earth. DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE rather be a BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF. Set Healthy Boundaries around yourself. Learn how to say NO. People easily manipulates people if they think they CO-DEPEND on them. Remember These set of people can't be changed. They are either born with it, learn it while growing up or Later in their life. DON'T BE LIKE THEM.



_FROM AN EXPERIENCED FELLOW.

.

Such is life.

Some people think they can ride you because they know you will not talk.

Then they put all the blame on you.

Get sense

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

I used to be there and I can imagine what It felt like. Bro, you need be more assertive in your approach to how you relate with people.

It's not you being bad or something. It's you being human. However, there's nothing wrong with being soft, you just have to focus on people who would appreciate your softness.

Solofresh2:
Not like that.People take advantage of my kindness and I don't like it.I lack confidence too

Lack of confidence is a different thing all together. You seriously need to start doing things that challenges you, that's the fastest way to gain confidence.

You could start by asking pretty girls for their contacts, but not for any serious stuff, just to see how far you could get with them persuading them to give you their numbers.

Secondly, you could also seek out some local community organizations like Bookclub, Church youth program etc....to attend and also ensure you publicly make a comment or contribution....


Those where part of how I build my self confidence and now, I can start a conversation with whomever I want and I like without blinking an eyelid.

The other day, I worked into one of the reputable car dealer in our city and demanded the price of a car which I was told was 19m, I priced 15m even when I couldn't afford 10% of the money. I just wanted to build my confidence.

It's a journey, a continuous process. Keep doing little things that scares you and make you uncomfortable, that's chiefly how you can improve and develop highly level of CONFIDENCE.

This one shock me!

phemmyfour:
Diju pa
Le ju pa
Kala
Ma rẹrin

English translation of those lines please

yoged:
keep listening to Portable song . especially that part that says "" daju, kala, ranju, wu iwa ika

what is the English translation of those words

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

Nothing wrong with being soft hearted. It shows your temperament type.

I too am a softie at heart. Very gentle and eazy going.

That's why I try not to involve myself with too many people for the fear of being taken advantage like you

But sincerely, being soft hearted has its benefits. It gives you peace of mind and clarity of emotions.

Hard hearted people often go through a lot of emotional pains and stress.

[quote author=dmgr post=111953021][/quote]

Justjyde:
As a recovered softy, I can offer suggestions. Read this book "The Courage to be Disliked" by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. I also highly recommend the audio book. Read and/or listen as many times as you need to re-register. It is not easy but you have taken the first step - recognizing it is a weakness that MUST be eliminated.

how can I get the audio book

tribalistdcriti:
how can I get the audio book

All I can say is where there is a will there is a way.