I’ve been married for some months, but it’s seem like my marriage is down the drain , I can’t go into details as I’m someone who doesn’t like to bring my problem public, but I really need help at this point and a second opinion, especially knowing that a major factor of this problem was my reaction and actions during this first year of my marriage.
There was a lot of relearning and unlearning I realized after marriage I needed to do. But the strain and mistrust I created, has on the part of my wife made her feel like our marriage should end, as we’re sort of in a damage control zone.
A lot of things has gone wrong, but at this point I’m willing to put effort and work out my marriage,
But I have a question:

Is it possible to still win back a woman who has sworn to destroy your life because you hurt her?
Is it possible to work out a marriage when the other pattern sees you as a devil and would rather not be involved in working things out?
Is it possible to win back an urhobo woman who once loved you cos I keep hearing this saying that if an urhobo woman loves you , she does with her mind and when she hate you , it’s also with her heart.

No, there's no need enduring such unpleasant marriage

What is there to win back She has sworn to make you suffer.... You should be after your peace of mind , i think

Mykbillz:
I’ve been married for some months, but it’s seem like my marriage is down the drain , I can’t go into details as I’m someone who doesn’t like to bring my problem public, but I really need help at this point and a second opinion, especially knowing that a major factor of this problem was my reaction and actions during this first year of my marriage.
There was a lot of relearning and unlearning I realized after marriage I needed to do. But the strain and mistrust I created, has on the part of my wife made her feel like our marriage should end, as we’re sort of in a damage control zone.
A lot of things has gone wrong, but at this point I’m willing to put effort and work out my marriage,
But I have a question:

Is it possible to still win back a woman who has sworn to destroy your life because you hurt her?
Is it possible to work out a marriage when the other pattern sees you as a devil and would rather not be involved in working things out?
Is it possible to win back an urhobo woman who once loved you cos I keep hearing this saying that if an urhobo woman loves you , she does with her mind and when she hate you , it’s also with her heart.

are you waiting till devil control her to kill you abandon ship

God1000:
No, there's no need enduring such unpleasant marriage

She’s carrying my child at this point and really , even though I feel like I can still find light at the end of the tunnel , why do you have this view .

Mykbillz:


She’s carrying my child at this point and really , even though I feel like I can still find light at the end of the tunnel , why do you have this view .

then continue to be hopeful, you know her more than me, but personally I can't endure living with someone that torments me, a besetting partner is a ticking time bomb

Your happiness lies in your hands

I guess you cheated.


If a wife tells you she cannot forgive you then there is no basis of getting married.

But that is no excuse for cheating though. I rather not marry someone than marry and live like strangers in the house or get separated.


Nope nope nope. You will not make my years on earth miserable.

God1000:
then continue to be hopeful, you know her more than me.

Your happiness lies in your hands

The truth is , I’m confused as hell and willing to do anything to save my marriage even though I made a lot of mistakes owing from Inexperience in marriage and youthful exuberance.

The only fear I have is the things she has said, like I will see pepper, she will show me pepper in life due to I hurt her.

A part of me is scared about this statement especially knowing Edo women and as someone scared of women.
But every older person who’s been married I’ve talked to has the view that marriage required a lot that we can work things out.

So the reason I opened this thread because , do I proceed or jejely waka, especially knowing everyone has a limit.

Mykbillz:


The truth is , I’m confused as hell and willing to do anything to save my marriage even though I made a lot of mistakes owing from Inexperience in marriage and youthful exuberance.

The only fear I have is the things she has said, like I will see pepper, she will show me pepper in life due to I hurt her.

A part of me is scared about this statement especially knowing Edo women and as someone scared of women.
But every older person who’s been married I’ve talked to has the view that marriage required a lot that we can work things out.

So the reason I opened this thread because , do I proceed or jejely waka

she needs to withdraw the statement first and forgive you for your past mistakes before any other thing..

But if she refuses, don't force things

A simple principle have been keeping me Afloat... "You dare not threaten Me" . Once you do that if you don't look for ways to remedy that then I will look for a way to end ties... No matter who you are.

Cutehector:
I guess you cheated.


If a wife tells you she cannot forgive you then there is no basis of getting married.

But that is no excuse for cheating though. I rather not marry someone than marry and live like strangers in the house or get separated.


Nope nope nope. You will not make my years on earth miserable.

Yes , I did .

I let someone who’s romantically attached to me into our home , although I held back before anything could happen and asked her to leave.

But she found text where we exchanged explicit text and I even said I’d eat her up.
Although I haven’t had any sexual relationship with anyone since our marriage, but on two occasions I’ve been very explicit in text with other and she found out, she forgave the first but swore never to forgive this one because I let the individual into our home.
There’s a lot of details but I chose to take the blame because I believe a major factor of how a home turns out depends on the man.

But I’ve also been hurt by her.
But I’m comparison, I’ve hurt her the more.

The answer to your question is a huge yes!

It is very possible when you have been destined and prepared to die in suffering and bondage.


Our people say "stick wey person see no dey blind am".

holuwajobar:
What is there to win back She has sworn to make you suffer.... You should be after your peace of mind , i think

I want to be, but at the same time I want to try to make things right since I was more at fault , but the unforgiving nature of my spouse and the threats of making my life miserable if we continue the marriage are giving me the shaky feet I have about trying to move forward.
I’m not an advocate of divorce but contemplating it.

That’s why I asked the 3 question above, hoping I can pick a thing or two from other married couples because most adult we’ve talked to mentioned the first year is hard but you get through it , even her parent without knowing the severity of our situation but when we are alone , she reminds me of how she will make my life miserable and I see pepper , even swearing on our unborn child.

Mykbillz:



Yes , I did .

I let someone who’s romantically attached to me into our home , although I held back before anything could happen and asked her to leave.

But she found text where we exchanged explicit text and I even said I’d eat her up.
Although I haven’t had any sexual relationship with anyone since our marriage, but on two occasions I’ve been very explicit in text with other and she found out, she forgave the first but swore never to forgive this one because I let the individual into our home.
There’s a lot of details but I chose to take the blame because I believe a major factor of how a home turns out depends on the man.

But I’ve also been hurt by her.
But I’m comparison, I’ve hurt her the more.

i wish you discussed extremes with your wife on cheating before marriage to know her standing. If she had told you she will never forgive you, i'm pretty sure you would not have gone ahead with the wedding plans. Not because you planned to cheat on her when you marry but just incase you mess up because we are humans too and humans are bound to err.

Now, look at you, living with a wife who will never forgive you for the rest of her life, you would feel so guilty till you die and depressed. She wont talk to you or cook for you or respect you anymore.

She would say many mean things to you that can make you want to hit her or cheat on her again because of course, she will deny you sex as long as time is. You'll be so frustrated to go out and cheat and she will not care because she can never forgive a cheating husband.


She may not want divorce but want you both to be separated so that you will keep on paying support to her and the kids, in the end, you lose, she wins. You then become a shadow of yourself and a frustrated human being as your kids also will not respect you because she has turned them away from you..


Sorry bro. That is how it will pan out. ..


I wish you could turn back the hands of time to not even ask for her hand in marriage.

U know the woman you married already, why did you hurt her? Keep on asking for her forgiveness until she forgives you. And if she still insist on making your life a living hell, after several appeal, give her space for some times.

9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

They are nothing but useless. All of them...

tayo60:
U know the woman you married already, why did you hurt her? Keep on asking for her forgiveness until she forgives you. And if she still insist on making your life a living hell, after several appeal, give her space for some times.

This is what I Intend doing but with the constant , I will make miserable , I will show you pepper . This statement are building my fear.
Cos she even mentioned of never being exclusive again to me.
A part of me is wondering , are this statement born from anger , or things she means.
I want to work things out but for working things when the other isn’t interested anymore.

Abeg married people : do marriages come back from disasters and get better.

A woman can hide everything and even bed you just so you get carried away before unleashing whatever sinister plan she had.

I hope you can truly convince her to change her mind about you.

tayo60:
U know the woman you married already, why did you hurt her? Keep on asking for her forgiveness until she forgives you. And if she still insist on making your life a living hell, after several appeal, give her space for some times.

She mentioned point blank that there’s no forgiving from her.

Mykbillz:


This is what I Intend doing but with the constant , I will make miserable , I will show you pepper . This statement are building my fear.
Cos she even mentioned of never being exclusive again to me.
A part of me is wondering , are this statement born from anger , or things she means.
I want to work things out but for working things when the other isn’t interested anymore.

Abeg married people : do marriages come back from disasters and get better.

U know her more than us, u are d only one who can say whether she is serious with her threats or just initial gra gra. U need your peace of mind in your marriage, and if your spouse can't give that to you, better separate from her. Don't let her kill you!

There's hope via Jesus. Put it in God's hands

The summary of your writeup is that you were an asshole to her abi

Lemme guess. You cheated after being married for less than a year

God1000:
then continue to be hopeful, you know her more than me, but personally I can't endure living with someone that torments me, a besetting partner is a ticking time bomb

Your happiness lies in your hands

Living with someone that torments him? He is obviously the one who messed up

Mykbillz:
I’ve been married for some months, but it’s seem like my marriage is down the drain , I can’t go into details as I’m someone who doesn’t like to bring my problem public, but I really need help at this point and a second opinion, especially knowing that a major factor of this problem was my reaction and actions during this first year of my marriage.
There was a lot of relearning and unlearning I realized after marriage I needed to do. But the strain and mistrust I created, has on the part of my wife made her feel like our marriage should end, as we’re sort of in a damage control zone.
A lot of things has gone wrong, but at this point I’m willing to put effort and work out my marriage,
But I have a question:

Is it possible to still win back a woman who has sworn to destroy your life because you hurt her?
Is it possible to work out a marriage when the other pattern sees you as a devil and would rather not be involved in working things out?
Is it possible to win back an urhobo woman who once loved you cos I keep hearing this saying that if an urhobo woman loves you , she does with her mind and when she hate you , it’s also with her heart.

Go for marriage counseling in a church.
Let her know you are changed.But after forgiving you,if you still exhibit such actions again,let her divorce you.

Ebonygeek:
The summary of your writeup is that you were an asshole to her abi

Lemme guess. You cheated after being married for less than a year

You're not wise.

If you know marriage matters are bigger than you then ignore!

Well if u try your best and its not working out its better everyone goes his seperate way for peace to rain the best peace a man will get is peace from home

Ebonygeek:

Living with someone that torments him? He is obviously the one who messed up

u no get sense o. Why would two people who dont love each other continue to live together. Obviously she cant forgive him, he should move ahead with his life

Mykbillz:


She’s carrying my child at this point and really , even though I feel like I can still find light at the end of the tunnel , why do you have this view .

What if the light you see at the end of the tunnel is an incoming train? You all should discuss her reaction to cheating before getting married as someone mentioned above

If you want to win her back, take her out, say like to a beach, an eatry... somewhere porsh. Ask her to order whatever she wants, don't quarrel with her, don't argue with her, just stare into her eyes whilst holding her hands smiling and tell her that you never knew how beautiful she was, then apologize for whatever wrong you might have done to her and reaffirm your love for her.

Use the remaining time gisting and talking, after you're done, take her shopping, buy some clothes and other stuffs for her, come home, prepare a nice dinner and end the day with a wonderful sex.

Believe me, she'll wake up the following day a changed person and you'll have your wife back.

Have you ever heard the saying of a woman scorned

Oga what did you do, telling me about not bringing your problems public, but e no hard you to make your wife look like witch. Did you cheat? If your wife was at fault you wouldn't have kept that one private.

Mykbillz:


She’s carrying my child at this point and really , even though I feel like I can still find light at the end of the tunnel , why do you have this view .

Chief....
You messed up big time by cheating on your wife, but I'm guessing you know that already, cause from your post, I can assume that you love your wife, you're ready to own up to your mistakes and make things work, that, I must say is commendable....

If I were in your shoes...
I would go her room and I'll tell my wife "I know that I have messed up big time and I'm really sorry, I can't change what has happened in times past, but I'm willing to be better, I'm willing to put in the effort to make us work, all I ask is for an opportunity to do so, if you feel the same way, I promise XYZ, but if you don't, then maybe we shouldn't be together anymore, lemme know your decision by tomorrow"...

If you think kneeling down will help, please do ... But after that walk away...

Her response will prompt your next step...
If she agrees, then be sure to keep your promises, but if she doesn't, please walk away before she cuts off your d.i.ck in your sleep ...