Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

It seems you are actually a good woman from your expression.

Pls help me tell your husband that it is difficult to find someone like you now in this present Nigeria, as such you should be treated with care and respect.

People don't value what they have.

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

I apologise on his behalf. Madam, I think you should place your husband's desires above your children's. You should make his choice of food as he wants it and make the children moimoi on Saturdays.

I sense defiance in your utterance and somehow stubbornness.

You know your worth. His utterance doesn't define you so let it slide and keep yourself happy.

Don't let it bother you. This is not a problem and shouldn't be.

OriOko88:
You too should stop cooking him moi moi if he says he doesn't like it. A Yoruba adage says, A soup which d husband doesnt like,the wife doesn't cook. You can prepare d moi moi for the kids and you,then prepares his own favorite too. That's d why i don't buy the idea of making time table for food. Why must I be eating a particular food for a specified day. Take for example,why must I eat rice on Saturdays because it's what on the time table..like wtf. A man must eat varieties of food when he so desires.

I think he's frustrated by the boring foods you giving him..spice up ur food and see him change. Ask him what he would like the family to eat before cooking..ditch the food time table for nw. How many men dey eat moi moi these days??
Change ur food time table and see u having ur man back

y’all have really agreed to be oppressed in this life.

That's very disrespectful of him. Did you see any signs of this attitude towards women when you were dating him?

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

wis3:
It's not like he doesn't eat moi-moi, he buys it outside but dislikes it when it is prepared in the house. It's just one of those times when people just get fed up with each other for no just reason but he will come around. What she needs is to be less available for his every needs and work on her esteem and and will be well.

You really have to learn to put yourself and your mental health first. I live with my girlfriend and I cook my food, do my laundry, clean the bathroom- and as I should.

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

If he says he doesn't want moi moi, don't give him moi moi nah.

The same men that say than Nigerian women run their mouths anyhow see nothing wrong with the insanely insensitive statement made by this Op's husband. If hypocrisy was human, it would be the average Nigerian man

No matter what, a man should not be telling his wife she is only useful for sex and cooking! Even if she changes the menu to appease him, men like these will not stop their emotional abuse until the woman braves up and let him know she is more valuable than a mere sex object and cook.
It's time for the O.P to start a plan B. either get a counsellor involved or tell someone important in his life the abuse she is going through.

After all, she contributes to the running of the house. It's men like these that push women into having affairs when they suffer so much abuse at home

I doubt that he ever had any regards for her in the first place...

wis3:
For man to tell woman say she's only for cooking and se.x shows he has lost whatever regards he has for her.

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

Listen to our Love Cycle program on Saturday by 8pm and you will get an answer to your issue..

Kindly join our telegram channel with the link below and you will get an answer 'Live on our streaming platform.

https:///hgsmediaplus_tv

BloomingDale:
Na wa o. Where do women meet this kind of men? My husband will tell me I’m just a sex tool and a cook. I can’t even fathom someone telling me that, so I got no advice to give.

On the other hand I don’t believe this story. Seems made up.

Please shut up
She caused it herself
If she has respected and given the man what he wanted, it won't have generated into the abused.
She invited the abuse to herself by choosing the kids over him and telling him to go to hell

Devorce him n move on if dem born you well. At least he mentioned se.X n cook that means you are not completely useless. Some men suffer their wives with everything. Some even smash the food n plates on the floor.

You got a beautiful home and no one is perfect. If your husband is ask to describe you, he has is own few words to render, which simply mean but of you have your fault. Either way, Marriage is all about sacrifice. You had that man before the children. You are a home building. Look out for the best way out to rescue your home before it get out of hand. Thanks for sharing and I will you guys happy married life

jeromestarks:
Make your pvssy smell nice. This is your soul duty my dear sister.
I hate dirty women with passion.
Do you know that housefly now follow girls around? Take your time and observe.

See what drug has done to your life

Always out of point

I think this happens when people start falling out of love in marriages. It takes a chip at a time.

The issues don't seem too overboard, you should try and talk with him, heart to heart see if you can both work it out. Hopefully this can be salvaged.

You have value, you are of priceless value to him, but pls don't take words said when angry to heart.

Absolutely nothing ... just give your husband peace of mind

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

Marriage is not easy as some people view it. It needs tolerance, compromise, respect and loyalty. If any of the partners refuses to give these, na crash e dey head.

For the moimoi ish, you can cook another meal for him , yea you have to. My husband hates egusi soup even when it's appetizing, I cook it sparingly and in smaller quantity for myself, this has not stopped me from preparing his favorite okro soup I do not like to eat when I prepare my egusi.

Since he doesn't like your moimoi, prepare it for the kids while you make another for him (compromise and be considerate too). If you use the blackeyed beans for moimoi, it causes purging to some people and I am one of them. I go for brown beans for my health and well-being, the sellers use a lot of chemicals to store it which isn't good to the system. Make your moimoi to be appetizing by adding red bell pepper and enough crayfish. Get a pressure cooker for better taste of your beans.

For the issue of always not around, hope you don't nag too much , it pisses me sef. There's lack of communication in the marriage so you guys need to work on.

Wish you a peaceful marriage.

dominique:
The same men that say than Nigerian women run their mouths anyhow see nothing wrong in the insanely insensitive statement made by this Op's husband. If hypocrisy was human, it would be the average Nigerian man

I've stopped criticizing a partner that is being labelled negatively on nairaland, you know why? The writer might be the person that is at fault but you will never know. I'm writing out of experience, some people can nag eeh, always complaining and rude too.

Op no vex, I be woman like you, I can sense when my husband is angry and always try respect myself cus he's a peaceful man.

Madam, Focus on what your husband loves. Don't start war in your marriage.

I don't know if you're a man or a woman but your comment is very insensitive. Her husband told her that as a wife, her purpose is to cook for him and have sex with him. What kind of nonsense is that? She even contributes financially.

How can you justify his words by saying that she is stubborn? You're not being logical.

Most Nigerian men are disrespectful to women. I pity women who end up with those men.

Blessedmercy8:
Sorry to say but you're being stubborn to the man.

Your husband can not just wake up and say those things to you. You must have done something that annoyed him to make him say such, prolly to get back at you.

Now, reason I said you're being stubborn is, you know he doesn't like your moimoi, yet you keep making it. As in... Let him do his worse. Abi na?

If you truly care and respect him, you would stop but here you are telling us you can never stop making it because your children like it. By that you're already saying he should go to hell for all you care and he too gets the message reason he chose to be careless with words too.

You claim he buys it outside. What does that tell you? Yours is prolly not as fanimorous ( sorry to say). Now, what have you done to improve your moimoi because there is moimoi and there is mai-mai **chuckles** .
My dad too hated moimoi to the extent that one day after he dropped money for food and asked what we want to prepare, we all chorused moimoi (because we children loved moimoi) and he said "moimoi gbuo gi" that is, "moimoi Kee you". There and then we knew we have tormented this man with this food. So we prepared his favorite, rice and stew.

You need to calm down for your man. You chose to marry him in the first place, so do anything that will make him happy. Coming here after how many children to say you feel ashamed of yourself for letting him sleep with you makes no sense because you too have been sleeping with him. so both of you have used each other. No biggies. Forget and move on.

Look for how to spice up your moimoi. Prepare it for only your children, (give him what he wants) let him perceive your new moimoi, he'll be the one requesting for it.

You don't have to prepare it the same day you're making other meals. You can just make the moimoi on your free days and pack in the fridge for your children so you don't get to overwork yourself.

Kobojunkie:
Stop that nonsense! The man eats moi-moi outside but bullies his wife over the same.On top of that, he speaks down to her telling her she is only for sex and cooking. Don't need to be a rocket scientist to realize this is more than just about beans and moi-moi.

Were u there when he was bullying her?

Blessedmercy8:
Sorry to say but you're being stubborn to the man.

Your husband can not just wake up and say those things to you. You must have done something that annoyed him to make him say such, prolly to get back at you.

Now, reason I said you're being stubborn is, you know he doesn't like your moimoi, yet you keep making it. As in... Let him do his worse. Abi na?

If you truly care and respect him, you would stop but here you are telling us you can never stop making it because your children like it. By that you're already saying he should go to hell for all you care and he too gets the message reason he chose to be careless with words too.

You claim he buys it outside. What does that tell you? Yours is prolly not as fanimorous ( sorry to say). Now, what have you done to improve your moimoi because there is moimoi and there is mai-mai **chuckles** .
My dad too hated moimoi to the extent that one day after he dropped money for food and asked what we want to prepare, we all chorused moimoi (because we children loved moimoi) and he said "moimoi gbuo gi" that is, "moimoi Kee you". There and then we knew we have tormented this man with this food. So we prepared his favorite, rice and stew.

You need to calm down for your man. You chose to marry him in the first place, so do anything that will make him happy. Coming here after how many children to say you feel ashamed of yourself for letting him sleep with you makes no sense because you too have been sleeping with him. so both of you have used each other. No biggies. Forget and move on.

Look for how to spice up your moimoi. Prepare it for only your children, (give him what he wants) let him perceive your new moimoi, he'll be the one requesting for it.

You don't have to prepare it the same day you're making other meals. You can just make the moimoi on your free days and pack in the fridge for your children so you don't get to overwork yourself.

God bless you jare

Exceed15:
Were u there when he was bullying her?

Do you know what it means to bully another person?

rippa:

Please shut up
She caused it herself
If she has respected and given the man what he wanted, it won't have generated into the abused.
She invited the abuse to herself by choosing the kids over him and telling him to go to hell

I’m just happy when we women created men, we put a time limit on your existence. All these disrespect has to go. Women will go back to giving birth via parthenogenesis. As it was once in the beginning so shall it be in the end.

This is beyond moi moi issue sister, if you love him and still want that marriage to work. Pray and see a counselor then use the gift God has given you as a woman to bring his ego down .rub his ego and show him love he will change. Trust me quote author=Lalakas post=115744014]Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me. [/quote]

bepositive11:
I don't know if you're a man or a woman but your comment is very insensitive. Her husband told her that as a wife, her purpose is to cook for him and have sex with him. What kind of nonsense is that? She even contributes financially.

How can you justify his words by saying that she is stubborn? You're not being logical.

Most Nigerian men are disrespectful to women. I pity women who end up with those men.

The husband did not just wake up and say that to her. It was as a result of an argument that stemmed up from her insurbodination. When couples argue they can say anything. Besides I'm not in support of what the man said.
I'm only trying to judge from the statement she made about not being ready to go a the extra mile to please him because he's not worth it.

Kobojunkie:
Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman, and this fact comes in pretty handy especially when you are married to a bully. You already stated that you contribute your fair share in the marriage, along with doing the cooking, so I don't see why you should be treated like a liability in what is your marriage. Since you are already feeling ashamed as a partner in the marriage, it may be time to engage the help of a professional marriage counsellor so you do not end up depressed as well. What you describe is a big flag that it is time for marriage counselling. No one who regards his partner would resort to such comments unless there is a deeper rift somewhere .

Aside from that, this beans/Moi-Moi case should have been a simple issue to resolve. Since he eats beans/Moi-Moi outside, and you only cook it on the weekends - Friday or Saturday - you both could have easily resolved it by having him cook something for himself on the days you make beans or Moi-Moi. No need for the abuse at all.

Hmmmm sensible lady

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

sorry about that, there is a way out if you have a freezer.

Prepare your moinmoin in large quantity and put the reserve in the freezer. That way, you can prepare whatever he desires to eat and you can bring out the moinmoin in the freezer and warm it for you and the kids.

NB: it's MOIN MOIN not MOI MOI

All

BloomingDale:


I’m just happy when we women created men, we put a time limit on your existence. All these disrespect has to go. Women will go back to giving birth via parthenogenesis. As it was once in the beginning so shall it be in the end.

My dear save yourself stress
No man will disrespect you because you are a woman except u invited the disrespect to yourself.
That lady knows exactly what she is doing.
If the man had not complain about it before the abuse, it would have been a case of the man is bad, not when he have been constantly repeating the same thing but the woman is not ready to adjust. Well, the man get time sha. If na me ; I will just avoid her food totally.