ZIMDRILL:


the same 7 hrs sleep or rest is
the same your wife needs. Being a mother at home is also a job and its something you can not take a day off from.

If your couldnt cope with only one child why did you went head with 2nd without finding solution to her not coping with one child ?

i am but i have seen how tiresome kids can be and this on top of other duties the wife has to do. Post natal depression is much very common in the west becoz its each man for himself. In africa its there but nor much noticed becoz of two things 1 cheap labour you can have a maid 2 there is always a distant relative or someone coming to help so depression it not really picked

Our women alson need few hours of break and help

Your wife is showing signs of despression, look at this, with your work after 8hrs you go home and rest whereas your wife cant take break from being a parent its 24/7 job on top of that she has to meet your needs

Sitdown with your woman ask
her whats wrong, ask what is overwhelming her

Do you know the meaning of depression?

You people are claiming house wife work is harder than 9 - 5?

Omo!

cococandy:


It’s actually not a bad schedule if it works for the person who applies it. I mean from 12noon-5pm she’s basically doing her own stuff (resting, movies, whatever she likes). That would be nice if attainable .

However it’s a bit unrealistic from a parent point of view. Nobody who has a toddler has 5 hours of absolutely free time in a day unless someone else is handling the child care. Not to mention he allocated one hour cooking. Realistically it takes more time than that to make stuff from scratch.

We don't predict our time... She needs help, the woman is worn out and he still needs sex... See he mouth like nack... It doesn't work that way. Woman work nor dey finish for house. He should help her. Or get a nanny

Neptunium:
Don't mind the rubbish wey that one dey talk. The wife has it very easy. What about single mothers with 5 kids holding it down by themselves? This one get 2 kids, caring husband wey provide everything for house, wey wash his own clothes, wey come home no food to eat, wey get sex once in two months, and one yeye somebody dey talk say her activities are too much. What activities? From 12 to 5 she's free doing nothing other than watching movies, chill. By 7 or 8pm the kids are back home yet haven't eaten or bathed. OP comes home no food to eat. What is she doing from 12 to 8? Watching BB Naija reruns or wetin?

Baba you lie, show me the single mother all by herself with 5kids, she will run mad.

BusinessPlan22:


Marry a slave bro. Not a wife... She wasn't made to serve you. Get a help or share in the chores. Don't make that woman older than her age. You absolutely don't understand.
I be man like you, but that schedule you just drew for her made me sick. That's slavery.
I wish you the best bro

How?

Karleb:


Do you know the meaning of depression?

You people are claiming house wife work is harder than 9 - 5?

Omo!

I'm not even going to focus on the OP & his problems because Its not my business.

But you know women are pushing this narrative about house wife being super hard than working a 9-5, I was arguing with a lady on this forum years ago & she wanted to die on that hill.

I can tell you for sure that these types of statements are from either women who are lying or who don't have any tangible jobs that they do, there are a lot of redundant jobs like working as an "Admin" where employees just sit down, get bored, scroll on Instagram and chat all along till 5PM, then earn peanuts at the end of the month. That's what a lot of women call jobs.

If you actually work in a Nigerian 9-5, doing something meaningful. Let's say you work in a bank, Customer Service department, you are attending to Customers from 9AM till 5PM, then come back home by 9PM looking tired & dejected, after 3 hours in Lagos traffic. I don't see any house wife job that is harder than this.

Working in a Nigerian 9-5 is super rigorous, anybody that says being a house wife is harder than this should just quit with the lies.

Karleb:


Do you know the meaning of depression?

You people are claiming house wife work is harder than 9 - 5?

Omo!

Yes it is! Talking from experience

BusinessPlan22:


work nor dey finish for house.

True It’s a 24/7 job. He said he helps so I’ll give him that. But all in all I think he may not have a realistic grasp of how much time things take to get done.
Like allocating 1 hour for cleaning in the morning. Lol

See women supporting rubbish. The wife is a lazy woman why can't you people call a spade a spade. Making excuses for their gender. If it is not postpartum depression they say looking after a toddler is hard or house work is harder than 9 to 5. If you can't handle the heat stay the fck outta the kitchen, don't marry and don't have children.

Klass99:
@ Militant1, I don't think you are crazy and I don't think your expectations are unreasonable. Like you, I don't function well with sleep deprivation. Poor or insufficient sleep leads to stress and stress is a silent killer.

While you are busting your ass off to provide for your family, the associated stress from home will silently do you in.This BS needs to stop, you are not asking for too much! Considering the fact that you've provided every necessary tool to make family life easy.

I don't know if you've seen Game of Thrones but one of my favourite scenes is where Tywin Lannister said to Cersei, I don't distrust you because you're a woman, I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed that boy to ride roughshod over you and everyone else in this city.

Na so e dey take start ooo. Allowing very young children do as they please, giving into them, not instilling discipline or enforcing house rules can lead to embarrassing consequences. If she can't take charge of two young kids and her home as the matriarch at this stage, when she wan start?

I'm not in support of a help at this point either, a help will make more sense when she starts her new job. Your wife seems like the sort of woman even helps love to deal with, because of a lazy and overly dependent attitude on them. You know the type of helps that skoin skoin use to worry, they'll pack their bags on Sunday evening or Monday morning and tell you they're leaving your house, the workload is three much.

You need to start acting like your username, until you get the results you want.

I don't have a problem with the help if she wants it; she should however be responsible enough to ensure there is food as at when due and her husband gets the required rest.

efficiencie:


. Second, you must ready yourself to train your wife and teach her the manners she didnt learn. Stop eating her food and start eating out. Two, if you have a personal room change the locks and keep it to yourself. Anytime you are tired and need to rest go to that room. Install soundproof doors and windows in that room. Maintain a routine that is suitable for your health. Stop reacting to her shenanigans. If she misbehaves just ignore her. Maintain the aforementioned for some days to stabilise your health. Next when you wake up, wake your wife up as well. Get a loud alarm that is as loud as a siren and set it to the appropriate time. When you wake every other person must wake. Give her an timetable concerning when she is expected to cook and take care of the house. If she rebels cutoff your funding and employ a cook to cook your meals alone (if you don't want to eat out)...if she rebels even more then report her to her parents. If she rebels even more report her to her pastor or respected persons and if she rebels still, o boy, run ohhh na die you dey ohhh!

Oshey Mr soldier, commando



Nairalanders no go kill person with laugh. Lool at alarm loud as a siren.

cococandy:


True It’s a 24/7 job. He said he helps so I’ll give him that. But all in all I think he may not have a realistic grasp of how much time things take to get done.
Like allocating 1 hour for cleaning in the morning. Lol

Lol

That was how she was raised.go to their house and you won't be surprised .It stems from laziness and disorganized lifestyle,leave this mental health talk.

My mom raised us with cooking dinner early,its a life I'm used to and also adopted.If i eat later than this time food becomes a baggage to me and do you know it even helps to curb bedwetting in chikdren.my kids eat by 6:30pm and I'm a working mom.On the days I may come home late,I precook so that once I'm home,food will be ready in less than 30mins and by 8:30 tops the kids are asleep.

Ppl should stop enabling bad behavior,every time mental health mental health until this young man dies off early as a result of inadequate rest and bad eating habits .I'm even sure he will be served Eba and soup by 10pm like my neighbor does.

Karleb:


Do you know the meaning of depression?

You people are claiming house wife work is harder than 9 - 5?

Omo!

It's not really easy to be a stay at home mum Bro... but that woman is the annoying type...She is a help mate and should make life a bit easier for the guy since the arrangement was for her to stay at home while he work...5:30pm sharp, abandon all u are doing and put pot on fire for your man because he will return and he will be hungry...it's not rocket science...she can't tell me that she did not have the time to eat her own meal through out the whole day because she is busy...

Why running helter skelter when he's already back and hungry?...If he starts branching at Titi' s house to eat and returning home late or probably refusing the food she cooked because he's already well fed somewhere, she will start complaining on how men were the same...

Anyways OP asked for female opinion, ours doesn't count...Let us watch it unfold..

..

Klass99:
@ Militant1, I don't think you are crazy and I don't think your expectations are unreasonable. Like you, I don't function well with sleep deprivation. Poor or insufficient sleep leads to stress and stress is a silent killer.

While you are busting your ass off to provide for your family, the associated stress from home will silently do you in.This BS needs to stop, you are not asking for too much! Considering the fact that you've provided every necessary tool to make family life easy.

I don't know if you've seen Game of Thrones but one of my favourite scenes is where Tywin Lannister said to Cersei, I don't distrust you because you're a woman, I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed that boy to ride roughshod over you and everyone else in this city.

Na so e dey take start ooo. Allowing very young children do as they please, giving into them, not instilling discipline or enforcing house rules can lead to embarrassing consequences. If she can't take charge of two young kids and her home as the matriarch at this stage, when she wan start?

I'm not in support of a help at this point either, a help will make more sense when she starts her new job. Your wife seems like the sort of woman even helps love to deal with, because of a lazy and overly dependent attitude on them. You know the type of helps that skoin skoin use to worry, they'll pack their bags on Sunday evening or Monday morning and tell you they're leaving your house, the workload is three much.

You need to start acting like your username, until you get the results you want.

Nice write up. The only one I resonate with so far

Karleb:


Do you know the meaning of depression?

You people are claiming house wife work is harder than 9 - 5?

Omo!

The things I read on NL ehn...

truthsayer009:

I'm not even going to focus on the OP & his problems because Its not my business.

But you know women are pushing this narrative about house wife being super hard than working a 9-5, I was arguing with a lady on this forum years ago & she wanted to die on that hill.

I can tell you for sure that these types of statements are from either women who are lying or who don't have any tangible jobs that they do, there are a lot of redundant jobs like working as an "Admin" where employees just sit down, get bored, scroll on Instagram and chat all along till 5PM, then earn peanuts at the end of the month. That's what a lot of women call jobs.

If you actually work in a Nigerian 9-5, doing something meaningful. Let's say you work in a bank, Customer Service department, you are attending to Customers from 9AM till 5PM, then come back home by 9PM looking tired & dejected, after 3 hours in Lagos traffic. I don't see any house wife job that is harder than this.

Working in a Nigerian 9-5 is super rigorous, anybody that says being a house wife is harder than this should just quit with the lies.

Bro, na baby girl lifestyle dem just wan live as you dey see some of these women. Very entitled, lazy set of snowflakes.

What they want is to be petted constantly, put on a pedestal, and to live their entire lives on nothing else but cruise and insha'Allah.

Imagine someone saying that being a housewife is harder than working a 9–5? Is that not madness?

Ulunne777:
That was how she was raised.go to their house and you won't be surprised .It stems from laziness and disorganized lifestyle,leave this mental health talk.

My mom raised us with cooking dinner early,its a life I'm used to and also adopted.If i eat later than this time food becomes a baggage to me and do you know it even helps to curb bedwetting in chikdren.my kids eat by 6:30pm and I'm a working mom.On the days I may come home late,I precook so that once I'm home,food will be ready in less than 30mins and by 8:30 tops the kids are asleep.

Ppl should stop enabling bad behavior,every time mental health mental health until this young man dies off early as a result of inadequate rest and bad eating habits .I'm even sure he will be served Eba and soup by 10pm like my neighbor does.

Ahh, finally...

All hope is not lost.

crackhaus:

Bro, na baby girl lifestyle dem just wan live as you dey see these women. Very entitled, lazy set of snowflakes.

Wnat want is to be petted constantly, put on a pedestal, and to live their lives on nothing else but cruise and insha'Allah.

Imagine someone saying that being a housewife is harder than working a 9–5? Is that not madness?

I was wondering too, because this isn't the first time I am hearing that in this Forum & all over in other places. As someone who grew up in a home where I had to act like an housewife, bathe kids, cook for kids, change diapers & clean the house daily for years. I still had time to watch Episodes of GOT & Merlin daily after the kids have gone to school.

I will now compare it to the rigorous run around that i did in Lagos where I came home almost dejected after daily traffic. Honestly enough of the lies abeg.

BusinessPlan22:


Baba you lie, show me the single mother all by herself with 5kids, she will run mad.

My friend's mom in Nigeria is a single mother. His father, a civil servant, was killed in a car accident when he was 14. He's the second oldest, his younger ones were little when the father was killed, the youngest, a girl was 1. His mom, a school principal, singlehandedly raised all of them. No househelp. Till now, she has never remarried.

My aunt's husband is in the U.S working while she's in Naija taking care of their 3 kids. She's not a single mother however the point is her husband no dey around though he visits Naija from time to time.

In another thread last month i talked about some FB groups I'm in where lots of single mothers in Naija plenty, as in single mothers looking for husbands.

My point is there are single mothers raising kids by themselves, or mothers who get husband working abroad while they're in Naija with the kids or husbands working in another state in Naija while the wife is at home taking care of the kids. OP's wife no get excuse other than laziness.

truthsayer009:


I was wondering too, because this isn't the first time I am hearing that in this Forum & all over in other places. As someone who grew up in a home where I had to act like an housewife, bathe kids, cook for kids, change diapers & clean the house daily for years. I still had time to watch Episodes of GOT & Merlin daily after the kids have gone to school.

I will now compare it to the rigorous run around that i did in Lagos where I came home almost dejected after daily traffic. Honestly enough of the lies abeg.

Are you the oldest of your siblings?

Many firstborns have this experience...

crackhaus:

Are you the oldest of your siblings?

Many firstborns have this experience...

No, I had to help my married Sis growing up with her. She didn't have a lot of financial resources to hire extra hands back then & we were running a business, & her hubby wasn't always around. That's why I laugh when I see all the takes from women regarding this issue.

truthsayer009:

No, I had to help my married Sis growing up with her. She didn't have a lot of financial resources to hire extra hands back then & hubby wasn't always around. That's why I laugh when I see all the takes from women regarding this issue.

Okay.

Watch how someone is still going to try discounting your experience.

crackhaus:

Okay.

Watch how someone is still going to try discounting your experience.

They already did, the lady i argued with Hactor was asking me if I was the one backing babies or breastfeeding them, therefore i had no input. Like cleaning & doing all sorts daily doesn't count for anything.

Ulunne777:
That was how she was raised.go to their house and you won't be surprised .It stems from laziness and disorganized lifestyle,leave this mental health talk.

My mom raised us with cooking dinner early,its a life I'm used to and also adopted.If i eat later than this time food becomes a baggage to me and do you know it even helps to curb bedwetting in chikdren.my kids eat by 6:30pm and I'm a working mom.On the days I may come home late,I precook so that once I'm home,food will be ready in less than 30mins and by 8:30 tops the kids are asleep.

Ppl should stop enabling bad behavior,every time mental health mental health until this young man dies off early as a result of inadequate rest and bad eating habits .I'm even sure he will be served Eba and soup by 10pm like my neighbor does.

Beautiful and well written... Someone up there even said the OP was asking for too much, despite his effort and not minding the toll it is having on him regarding his output and efficiency at work. The only part I will not support the OP is asking for daily sex.

truthsayer009:

They already did, the lady i argued with Hactor was asking me if I was the one backing babies or breastfeeding them, therefore i had no input. Like cleaning & doing all sorts daily doesn't count for anything.

Be like say I juss know sef...

Neptunium:
My friend's mom in Nigeria is a single mother. His father, a civil servant, was killed in a car accident when he was 14. He's the second oldest, his younger ones were little when the father was killed, the youngest, a girl was 1. His mom, a school principal, singlehandedly raised all of them. Till now, she has never remarried.

My aunt's husband is in the U.S working while she's in Naija taking care of their 3 kids. She's not a single mother however the point is her husband no dey around though he visits Naija from time to time.

In another thread last month i talked about some FB groups I'm in where lots of single mothers in Naija plenty, as in single mothers looking for husbands.

My point is there are single mothers raising kids by themselves, or mothers who get husband working abroad while they're in Naija with the kids or husbands working in another state in Naija while the wife is at home taking care of the kids. OP's wife no get excuse other than laziness.

OP's wife is just lazy and she is the kind of person who does not consider the plight of her husband or see things from his pint of view, and she procrastinates(something many of us are guilty of) a lot, reason why she does things at the tail end of the day despite being home all day.. Yes children can be difficult at times but she is doing little to nothing to curb their excesses.

cayorday89:

Beautiful and well written... Someone up there even said the OP was asking for too much, despite his effort and not minding the toll it is having on him regarding his output and efficiency at work. The only part I will not support the OP is asking for daily sex.

Him thinking he can/should have sex everyday is probably because he has been starved of it so much. The hunger is making him overreach.

Realistically, I don't know that he will still have the desire to have it every single day once he starts getting it more often (even if his wife were willing to indulge).

Karleb:


Do you know the meaning of depression?

You people are claiming house wife work is harder than 9 - 5?

Omo!

do you know post natal depression ?

Every job can be harder to someone

hence you even some women gets maids

crackhaus:

Him thinking he can/should have sex everyday is probably because he has been starved of it so much. The hunger is making him overreach.

Realistically, I don't know that he will still have the desire to have it every single day once he starts getting it more often (even if his wife were willing to indulge).

So true sha, but what if it comes to him naturally to have it everyday without getting tired, we never can tell, he should just have it in mind that his wife might fail him in that aspect but on other things he complained about, his wife can adjust.

cayorday89:

OP's wife is just lazy and she is the kind of person who does not consider the plight of her husband or see things from his pint of view, and she procrastinates(something many of us are guilty of) a lot, reason why she does things at the tail end of the day despite being home all day.. Yes children can be difficult at times but she is doing little to nothing to curb their excesses.

Exactly. She no dey respect or love her husband much as well. Much of her actions is from lack of respect and love. She know she get gentle man for husband, she can do anyhow