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Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Frustrated With My Wife / Dear Nairaland Mothers, Please Is This True? / You Must Marry Me - Lady Tells Married Man (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by LARRYOBRAIN(m): 3:52pm On Sep 14, 2022
E don hard, you tolerated it from the beginning, even me. I used to be strict with my wife but sometimes she breaks the rules but you can't be fighting or beating her you have to let go of some, put your child or children in school and see if she will sleeping late, she is over enjoying.
Apply wisdom.
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by bluefilm: 3:54pm On Sep 14, 2022
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Your wife must be very pretty.

Which easily explains why you are still tolerating some of these her excesses.

Carry your cross alone, biko.

3 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Barsote(m): 3:57pm On Sep 14, 2022
I will only pray for u, u will not die younger but sora fun obinrin, don't over stress yourself on them......

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Akanoaaa(m): 3:59pm On Sep 14, 2022
obinna58:
Oga let her be jare, which one is your wife stays late. Authority.
I didn't see any tangible reason from all you mentioned above
What happened to being a sweet husband, I bet your controlling personality is what putting her off sexually.
Be her man, draw her closer to you, in terms of emotions let her rely on you, look away over little things, get her a help if she needs it.


Men should stop the idea of I married her so giving me sex is her responsibility, actually it's her responsibility but she owns the puxxy, you must be soft to get it no matter how strong you think you are else you go still get it but e no go sweet or belleful you. If you do things right na she go dey come for it.




Woman wrapper don talk.

Someone who will wake up by 4am and still not allow to sleep by 12 and the wife was at home throughout the day o? Your sense is as size as ant own.

4 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by everythinggirly(f): 4:02pm On Sep 14, 2022
It is well. Nice comments tho.

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by GistFullGround: 4:02pm On Sep 14, 2022
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful


Look for another woman to soothe you. She doesn't deserve you!

Or try & relocate anywhere like Ghana, Kenya, Botswana or outside Africa without informing her.

Start your life afresh because you don't have this wife.

Men also go into depression & you need to be drastic!

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by WantsandMore: 4:04pm On Sep 14, 2022
That woman fit dey protest about something wey nobody here or you even know about.
This is where emotional intelligence is required to deal with issues, not everything is dealt with intellectually. Go for counseling if it helps or dey patient, some of these things dey reset naturally and NA you go dey wonder no be thesame woman wey dey give you issues be this ? Women are temporary emotional being . Just dey patient Bro. No dey complain again . Just keep quiet , play any part wey you fit, leave the rest to God. They try pray too, helps a lot. God Speed.
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by royalfly(m): 4:05pm On Sep 14, 2022
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Not too deferential from my case. Baba. There is nothing u can do. Except u want the home to brake. They never listen, u re always wrong and have nothing to say. U see her mum, she wld have help advice and encourage her o. But no, let me say this and it's the best thing u will ever hear. Pray and pray again, again pray and pray again. After that try to make sure u continue to do the best. After that if it does not work, Bleep it get a girl friend. I mean a sharp girl friend. Money na problem, I know get another woman by the side. The only who can help in this matter is God. See them nor dey hear word. Get a sharp side chick cos in the end the marraige go still brake. I hope I spoke my mind. I pray u don't listen to me sha. I like peace, but in the end this is the only option we have. May God heal ur home.

2 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Nobody: 4:06pm On Sep 14, 2022
Militant1:



Doing my laundry is not the problem... I can do it comfortably every weekend with the machine cos am not lazy and I can afford to give office clothes to drycleaner . The problem is that she doesn't do what she ought to do before 9pm for everyone to go and sleep. The sex is something else. I watch videos of pregnant women demanding sex from their husbands but for me, the two kids we have we didn't have sex for like 11months each. We have been married for 4 years and I can tell u confidently that 2 years in that period we haven't had sex.......

I don't know if this advice will work o

A friend of mine was complaining about his wife gossiping with neighbors, he has done everything possible but she refused to stop. One day, she was with her partners gossiping and the 8month old crawled and placed her hand inside a very hot water which the mum boiled and pour in a bowl to use,but gossip made her forget.. my friend came home,after the treatment, with anger packed the wife's clothes and the baby's own,put them for sienna wey dey go east,that was how she went to her father's house. The parents begged, but he turned deaf. She stayed in the village for 3months and due to the begging, he brought them back,since then,the wife no dey come outside, she no dey do anything with anyone, she does her work on time...

Now why the story, when a lady sees you are willing to send her packing or live without her, dey are always humble, but when u dey always beg and try to be a simp,na then them go try to put you under their armpit..

When your wife do something like this, just tell her with anger that you are sick and tired of her attitudes and everything that she's been doing and you can't continue enduring in ur own home and that u don't mind sending her back to her father's house(in her presence, call her father,and repeatsame thing,after telling him, end the call,no allow am talk anything) .. if she try am again, be a man and shakara her by packing her clothes and trying to send her back to o her father's house, if she pleads with you, u go do like say u hear her and she continues den if u can drive or get a charter(sienna) to take her and the kids back to her parents house, they will indeed beg,even call your family to beg and u will issue the warning and tell them if she doesn't adjust, den you will end the marriage.. your sanity is ur priority, if you go crazy and do something stupid, the law will hold you. You may become depressed or lose your job as a result of this too..

If this my advice no work,den I bet with you, the woman DOES NOT love or need you and if her parents no beg you and talk sense into her den there's a conspiracy...

If u lose ur job and become broke,ur wife go hate you the more,if u are depressed and commit suicide, ur wife go remarry or be fucking around.. no relationship or marriage is worth losing your sanity and life

9 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Rey11(m): 4:06pm On Sep 14, 2022
You be common person but your happiness
no be your own o ,�
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by MadeMan01(m): 4:08pm On Sep 14, 2022
Your wife is lazy.
Read the riot act to her to step up or face the consequences. No one can care for a baby more than the mother. If she can't care for the kids, is it not a shame that a maid would do better? Is it not better to have such a maid than an idle wife?

You have bee too nice. Be firm
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Godmind2022(m): 4:10pm On Sep 14, 2022
Immediately it is 8:00, call everybody for prayer, and in the process of prayer every child should sleep off, and therefore, there will be time for sex. Before this time, sit her down and counsel her about the health benefit of sleeping early, and also about the importance of time management, and how important sex is to men. If you communicate well with your wife, I believe your wife will change. I think the problem here is, poor communication skills. There is absolutely nothing we cannot achieve with any human being in this world if we communicate well. Please, my brother you need to read about how to handle women and how to communicate well. Have a nice time and God bless you

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Godmind2022(m): 4:12pm On Sep 14, 2022
Immediately it is 8:00, call everybody for prayer, and in the process of prayer every child should sleep off, and therefore, there will be time for sex. Before this time, sit her down and counsel her about the health benefit of sleeping early, and also about the importance of time management, and how important sex is to men. If you communicate well with your wife, I believe your wife will change. I think the problem here is, poor communication skills. There is absolutely nothing we cannot achieve with any human being in this world if we communicate well. Please, my brother you need to read about how to handle women and how to communicate well. Have a nice time and God bless you
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by JackHamma1234(m): 4:13pm On Sep 14, 2022
Oga act broke, act unbothered, also discipline tour children, give the kids a night time project not TV, be so interested in the kids speak to them like adults and cautiously ignore her. They would start respecting you for the time you give them. On weekend take the kids out and tell her to take some time alone. Other times go out with her, suprise her but also ignore her excitement or lack of it. Tell the kids they are much loved. Oga start an exercise routine once home a light one like 10 push ups. As you get home call her mum to ask her how she is on video call let her see the issues in the house but don't make it obvious. Eg. Ma how are you doing I want you see your beautiful grand children... Ah babe you just dey bath them by this time..wetin happen. Mama I will call you back. Do it like 3 times a week ...she go get sense

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Baffupdrizz(m): 4:14pm On Sep 14, 2022
You are the cause of her laxity.
By failing to enforce your boundaries that will make your home comfortable, you have disrespected yourself. If you keep tolerating her misbehaviours, she she will cheat on you and leave you eventually.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Charis100: 4:16pm On Sep 14, 2022
I will suggest you allow her to start working ASAP,that will help her to be more organised.

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by flexyrule(m): 4:16pm On Sep 14, 2022
crackhaus:
You married a baby girl... cheesy
LOL.

Baby girl needs to be pampered.

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Iliveforever(m): 4:17pm On Sep 14, 2022
lilioj:
Jeeeez, get her the damn help! It doesn't matter if she's a SAHM, in fact they are more tired than working class moms, pls get her a help.

She’s definitely a lesbian.
Tired of the marriage
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by BigBashiru: 4:18pm On Sep 14, 2022
frozen70:


I will like to be blunt with my suggestions so that you will get the message right

You have done well by providing all she needed to run her home

But the truth is that she is lazy

If at two kids, a seat at home mother, she can't cope, how will she cope when she starts working

Well, you can wake the kids up by the time you wake up, bath them and let her take it up from there while you prepare for work

Another suggestion is bring her mother to stay with you guys since she normally reports to her so that those things she didn't put her through properly, she will see things herself

Stop begging her, you are making her to feel she needs to be appeased

When she is tired of cooking late, she will seat up when she starts working

I don't want to suggest a house help, it will worsen her case

She needs to seat up and face her challenges

Assuming you are a lazy man that can't fully provide that means both of you will be incompetent to run your home

Let her face it and it will build her for a greater task

House help erodes the validity of the marital contract.... a house help helps the woman with house work but who helps the man wiith bank job?? And eventually na both househelp and wife go dey chop husband moni as a right....
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by jamesbridget13(f): 4:18pm On Sep 14, 2022
Hmmmm. You see marriage, ei no easy. but if two will agree, they can walk together.

Now sir I think your wife needs to understand that she is now a woman n a home builder. I don't know who to suggest to talk to her but someone she listens to if any.

I think it's upbringing that is causing this. Growing up in my home, dinner is always ready before 5pm on Tuesdays n Thursdays because by 5pm, we all should be in church n when we get back home, we should eat n not cook. Other days before 6pm dinner should be ready too. With this upbringing, it was easier for me in my hubby's house. Right now it's 4pm n I want to start preparing dinner (I am a teacher). Can't imagine myself cooking so late but remember I am already used to this from my upbringing


Now, let's assume ur wife isn't n she is finding adjusting difficult. Look for someone to talk to her about this. May be her mum, not sure though but someone should talk to her.


I don't know if you can be calling her by 5pm to remind her to start cooking n after cooking she should bath d kids that you will soon be home. May be after a while she would adjust. This is d only advice I can think of right now.


Also, what I do concerning d TV is I do change it from cartoon to TVC News. My kids would revolt but I don't care. When they finally accept their fate they would be calm. Just give them 30minutes interval n they would be in Dreamland. You know kids don't like News. So maybe instead of putting off d TV, u could tell ur wife to do this that immediately they are asleep she can watch d channel she desires. I am sure she alone won't watch for long before she falls asleep.


I wish you d best in ur marriage

5 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by superdude007(m): 4:19pm On Sep 14, 2022
Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful



Hello Brother...link up with John Doe on twitter @jon_d_doe . You can thank me latter.
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Goodnigga: 4:20pm On Sep 14, 2022
BusinessPlan22:


Marry a slave bro. Not a wife... She wasn't made to serve you. Get a help or share in the chores. Don't make that woman older than her age. You absolutely don't understand.
I be man like you, but that schedule you just drew for her made me sick. That's slavery.
I wish you the best bro
Are you married sir? If you are still single and have never been in his position, please refrain from such advice.
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by gassbee: 4:20pm On Sep 14, 2022
Simple solutions
1. Get an house help.
2. Get her a job asap, make she follow hussle
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by koladebrainiac(m): 4:22pm On Sep 14, 2022
godfrey02:
.

a very happy family i guess and a good man who provides all the woman wants.

the problem i see here are eating late, lack of sex, and not doing your laundry. how old is she
the thing is women will always take advantage when you give them all the good thing that comes with marriage if you kind, they will take advantage of it.

my friend you have to scream or start eating outside. then she will start going to the mountain top to pray to see your good face

2 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by koladebrainiac(m): 4:24pm On Sep 14, 2022
gassbee:
Simple solutions
1. Get an house help.
2. Get her a job asap, make she follow hussle
this will not stop it
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by neonly: 4:24pm On Sep 14, 2022
Bla Bla Bla Bla guy those are red flank for you naso my own take start until it became worse go tru my post you will understand
Soon she gonna be yur enemy saying you demand too much
Just pray she doesn't go seek advice from useless friends especially church
Yur kids are young sha
Ever since I ejected d accuser in my house never had an issue again house come dey sweet me
If you have relative dat can stay with you better bring them to help u
It gonna get worse make my words yur sanity is more important than anything can't talk much

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by koladebrainiac(m): 4:26pm On Sep 14, 2022
jamesbridget13:
Hmmmm. You see marriage, ei no easy. but if two will agree, they can walk together.

Now sir I think your wife needs to understand that she is now a woman n a home builder. I don't know who to suggest to talk to her but someone she listens to if any.

I think it's upbringing that is causing this. Growing up in my home, dinner is always ready before 5pm on Tuesdays n Thursdays because by 5pm, we all should be in church n when we get back home, we should eat n not cook. Other days before 6pm dinner should be ready too. With this upbringing, it was easier for me in my hubby's house. Right now it's 4pm n I want to start preparing dinner (I am a teacher). Can't imagine myself cooking so late but remember I am already used to this from my upbringing


Now, let's assume ur wife isn't n she is finding adjusting difficult. Look for someone to talk to her about this. May be her mum, not sure though but someone should talk to her.


I don't know if you can be calling her by 5pm to remind her to start cooking n after cooking she should bath d kids that you will soon be home. May be after a while she would adjust. This is d only advice I can think of right now.


Also, what I do concerning d TV is I do change it from cartoon to TVC News. My kids would revolt but I don't care. When they finally accept their fate they would be calm. Just give them 30minutes interval n they would be in Dreamland. You know kids don't like News. So maybe instead of putting off d TV, u could tell ur wife to do this that immediately they are asleep she can watch d channel she desires. I am sure she alone won't watch for long before she falls asleep.


I wish you d best in ur marriage
best solution is for him to scream it out n change his character, stop dropping 3k, start eating outside, let her miss what she is taking for granted,if they no fight it, it will not end
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Streetmovement(m): 4:26pm On Sep 14, 2022
Wotoporiously cool speaking

Baba say na, At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday strong man wey know grin

Omo on a serious note you dey try for your family o but make your wife jazz up o cuz the comfort zone of staying at home everyday is making her lazy.

Op You're not going crazy, infact you're doing way more than some husband dey do sef so talk sense into your wife make she change jare before it affects the whole family one way or the other mk you no go multi task dey kill yourself o

He get one man for my area wey dey work for one better company, everywhere good but the issue na he no dey see rest rest cuz the wife na lazy type and her own na to sit down for house from morning to night without doing shi shi, na the man go still come back and be cooking and cleaning after a very stressful day, naxo one day we here say the man come back from work come collapse for inside bathroom, people dey cap say na village people, I tell them say mk them getat...

The worst things you can do to yourself is live a very stressful life, stress dey kill but most people no Sabi o, the human body dey like car engine so he need rest and some servicing if not one day he fit knock o, so try dey give yourself rest cuz from wetin I see that your time wey you get to rest no dey enough and it's not good for you generally

Talk to your wife about the above before she kill you before your time

My 2 cent

3 Likes

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by Zonefree(m): 4:28pm On Sep 14, 2022
Rozross:
If all you type are true then take a drastic decision and call your wife to order and you should be the one to decide how the home is run since you provide everything. I dislike women who stress good men. Husbands should be tired of sex and not begging for it. Please take charge of your home and clip her wings so she’ll know what been a wife entails.
A guest here will now think you have sense. Lol
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by jamesbridget13(f): 4:30pm On Sep 14, 2022
koladebrainiac:
best solution is for him to scream it out n change his character, stop dropping 3k, start eating outside, let her miss what she is taking for granted,if they no fight it, it will not end
she should even know that eating late isn't good for d health either. I really wish she can adjust honestly

1 Like

Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by frozen70(f): 4:32pm On Sep 14, 2022
BigBashiru:


House help erodes the validity of the marital contract.... a house help helps the woman with house work but who helps the man wiith bank job?? And eventually na both househelp and wife go dey chop husband moni as a right....

Did you even read my comment very well

Who cares about who eats his money

That's not the bone of contest
Re: Mothers Please Advice A Frustrated Married Man. by SIRTee15: 4:33pm On Sep 14, 2022
Blessedmercy8:



I never said that. There must be a reason she's always too tired for it which the op already mentioned that it all started after their first child. You think it's easy to cater for those children that can be a handful most times and still have the stamina to come and be having sex everyday?

It's easy for the Op to be talking like this because his own is only to go to work and come back to already set home and meal. Only the woman will do all that. Abeg it's not easy.

Sorry, but what u wrote here is nonsense.

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