Survivor2020:
My 17 years old brought shame to me last year she got pregnant, I have disowned her and sent her packing. She is staying with her boyfriend in his family home.

She gave birth 5 months ago she has been sick ever since she had the baby and the boyfriend doesn't have any money to take care of her. Plus the living condition is not suitable for her in her condition.

I have forgiven her and I want to take her back home so I can take her to the hospital for treatment but I don't want her to come with her baby. Please note there is only me and my 7 years old son at home. I work and my son goes to school till 5pm.

I don't have time to babysit the baby.
I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine.
I hope my decision is not bad?

Take your daughter back and leave the grandchild with the father.

That's his responsibility and your daughter is your responsibility.

If u don't want to take the baby don't bother taking the mother... simps

Ulunne777:
Bring her back oo.My neighbor sent her daughter away like this to her boyfriend only for the guy to give her another pregnancy barely 2 months after birth of the first pregnancy which now resulted in twins.

2 16 yr old children totally dependent on their parents.Now the boys mother sent the girl away with the babies ,say she like prick too much and after ppl begging the girl's parents,they now accepted 3 babies . .

Manage one now before the poor man will turn her to a baby factory

goat and yam theory!

It states that goat will always chop yam irrespective of the situation it finds itself in.

Survivor2020:
My 17 years old brought shame to me last year she got pregnant, I have disowned her and sent her packing. She is staying with her boyfriend in his family home.

She gave birth 5 months ago she has been sick ever since she had the baby and the boyfriend doesn't have any money to take care of her. Plus the living condition is not suitable for her in her condition.

I have forgiven her and I want to take her back home so I can take her to the hospital for treatment but I don't want her to come with her baby. Please note there is only me and my 7 years old son at home. I work and my son goes to school till 5pm.

I don't have time to babysit the baby.
I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine.
I hope my decision is not bad?

Sir, the truth is that you've forgiven your child but you are making your grand child pay for the sins of her dad.

You see the child as their child not as your grandchild. I have seen fathers who would die for their grandkid but your type is struggling to accept his grandchild. Sir, you are heartless

Please forgive her and bring her and your grandchild back home to live with you.

Where is your wife,I mean, the mother of your children?abi , you be single father?

Survivor2020:



I can't take both of them my daughter is sick she need rest and time to recover

I don't blame you Bros,if I was you that guy will be in jail,or even his parents,as for me I will just take care of only my daughter...that's all

Survivor2020:


His mother is alive he also has three elder sisters living at home who are in the best position to take care of their grand daughter/ niece

And they are swimming in poverty that they cannot afford to give your daughter proper medical care. How will they be able to take care of the little one that needs more care and attention? If anything happens to that child, you think your daughter will forgive you?

You have forgiven your daughter but you want to take your anger out on the innocent child and separate her from her mother. That is not the way to go. Babies need their mothers especially when the mother is alive.

Even if you decide to support with money for the upkeep of the baby, don't you think that such a family that is lacking will divert most of the funds, and what will come to the baby will be little.

If you are not going to take the baby, please don't take the mother, and watch how your daughter will become a shadow of herself when that guy is done with her.

Brooke60:

Let me tell you a short story. My Dad's first daughter (my step sis), got pregnant at a young age, as a strict man, he chased her out of the house. She moved to her boyfriend's house & also her mother's family took care of her.

Step sis was shuttling between seeing her son in Lagos while schooling in FUTA. She died in an accident. My dad never got to see her and the son (still alive).

My dad told me the story, until my dad's death (he died at 82), he never forgave himself for what he did to his daughter. He said, all he had to do was to forgive her and take her back but the 'Agidi' from Ondo state won't let him do that.

He regretted it. Don't be like that. Don't lose your daughter, take her back, take your grandchild & give her life! She is just 17 ffs! She can still achieve a lot and be the daughter you wanted. Might not be easy but there is a reason you are the father.

So much wisdom in this post.

Most times, fathers tend to be head strong and unyielding when things like this happens. They have every reason not to forgive until it is too late, and they start to regret.

There is nothing prayer cannot do....You need wisdom and a lot of patience here and presently. Pay no attention to mockers and jesters. If you need to relocate from your present environment to accommodate your daughter and grandchild psychologically, do so.

Take your daughter and grandchild and after 1 year, put your child in school and grandchild with your ex( her grandmother)..... and with time, she can begin school....If the mother is nowhere to be found, a day care may be necessary so your daughter can go back to school( very important) till your grandchild needs to go to school then your daughter will be the one picking her from school.

There is a popular USA Nurse who became a parent with his high school sweet heart( maybe not more than 17-18 yrs then) while he was possibly 21 yrs.

Both were determined while their parents helped out, sure there will be some time of separation......Today, they are married and one if the highest paid Nurses in USA and later welcomed another baby just last year when they were in their thirties.

Peace.

Thanks for all the advice. My daughter is at the hospital since yesterday night the baby is with her father.
Mother and daughter will be reunited as soon as the mother gets better

frozen70:


Leaving that little child behind and take her mother is worse than the anger you had when she became pregnant

I will advice you take her for treatment along with her child, after treatment let her go back to the man

By the time she stays there for two years with all she will be going through

Next time she will close her legs tight

If she continues to stay there with the guy, there's a high chance that she will get pregnant again. That will complicate her life even more.

Survivor2020:
Thanks for all the advice. My daughter is at the hospital since yesterday night the baby is with her father.
Mother and daughter will be reunited as soon as the mother gets better

do you think your daughter will heal with her daughter being away from her?? it will play badly on her already fragile health, the way you love your daughter is the same way she loves her child.

See take care of your daughter first, let her be alive,hale and healthy first,na person wey dey alive dey take care of baby.

Let the father take care of the baby till she is 1 year so he can also know it is not easy, don't give him a soft landing at all.If I was the one,I would have him arrested, he started sleeping with her when she is 16yrs or younger sef...hanhan what rubbish.

You no fit take care of woman and your gbola dey rise.

wealthpreach:



Not after two months... Please read about the fecundity period and learn more.

There's always an exception because nothing is absolute. You should know that. I have cousins that are 10months apart. And I have seen others.

Mindlog:


From his posts, OP has 2 children from 2 women and none is living with him......that is an insight.

He should accept that part of it is his fault because the daughter has grown up in a dysfunctional environment with no mother present. He should be looking for a way to salvage the situation.

wealthpreach:



Not after two months... Please read about the fecundity period and learn more.

I know what you are talking about but there are exceptions.Here was one.

Do you even know that some cone for 6 weeks checkup not knowing they are pregnant already.

I'm a mom four times and have seen matrons raking women who did such when we went for immunisations,6 weeks check ups and Post TT injection

Haba naw ����... That girl does not deserve what u are making her pass through. I deed she have made a mistake but u should not have retaliate in that manner . Likes of Genevieve and even waje made such mistakes but today are a key figure in the society after the support and help they got .. pls take her and her son back !!!!!!!!!! .. u don't know how far that boy will go ....

iamme1234:
Ye all keeps condemning this woman

She left the girl child

This and that

Do you even knows what it is to bring shame to the family
It’s pathetic.
It’s never easy to raise a girl child
Your tried your best as a mother
But your daughter acted so foolish.
Why messing around
Am sure you would be telling her then
Hence she would be shaking her bum bum.
See her life now
Madam go get your daughter back and leave their Pikin for them to train if they like they should kill him or her oonpe
Since their son has ego to knack
He should have ego to take care of d child.
Me I be no nonsense person ooooo
Madam be bold with your decision
Because been blunt in life as helped me so well

After shame what next? Is it enough to leave your own child at the mercy of people that won't value her as much? She made a mistake...so should you throw the baby away with the bath water.

You talk about raising a girl child being difficult. What about boys? A boy that can be a nuisance and thorn in the flesh of his parents if he chooses to go astray.

I believe in being disciplined. But when the anger settles, we need to think of what is best in the situation instead of destroying the child further.

Mindlog:


She got pregnant as an adolescent, she did not commit murder!

No matter how angry and disappointed you are, you did wrong abandoning your daughter and your grandchild, biologically and legally that baby will always be linked to you.

You are aware that she has been sick for 5 months now since she gave birth, living in deplorable condition and you comfortably sleep and wake up everyday, going about your normal life as if you don't have a child somewhere who probably may be dying.

Are you waiting for her to die, so you can get the police to arrest the boyfriend?

The boyfriend's father was wise enough to send you pictures of your daughter in her poor health, so should anything happen to her you can't claim ignorance even in court, he has evidence that you know.

Your daughter is still a minor irrespective of her already being a mother, you are obligated to her welfare, should anything happen to her..you will be hugely blamed and you will regret not intervening earlier.

Even if her mum is not in the picture, go bring your daughter and grandchild home and get an older female relative to help out

That baby MUST not be separated from the mother.

You are "lucky" you are in Nigeria, where social workers are not effective.......dashing your adolescent daughter as if she is a piece of fabric because she get belle, causing more damage.

Always remember that your daughter's mother is not living with you, neither is your son's mother living with you and that is an insight of dysfunctionality.

oohh wait, so he even had both children with different mothers and he's here acting like a saint? mtchweee
my friend, dont make the same mistake my parents made with my late elder sister who's daugther we can't trace!

Rozross:
Your decision is not bad but I doubt if your daughter will agree to part with her baby. Ladies should be wise on who they open their legs for that’s if you are doing premarital sex. Stop dating young men(teenagers and men in their 20’s) but they won’t hear

U de mad mak Konji kill us abi,, ur Nyash der,, na una way de 100yrs de go com date
Ewu

Survivor2020:
My 17 years old brought shame to me last year she got pregnant, I have disowned her and sent her packing. She is staying with her boyfriend in his family home.

She gave birth 5 months ago she has been sick ever since she had the baby and the boyfriend doesn't have any money to take care of her. Plus the living condition is not suitable for her in her condition.

I have forgiven her and I want to take her back home so I can take her to the hospital for treatment but I don't want her to come with her baby. Please note there is only me and my 7 years old son at home. I work and my son goes to school till 5pm.

I don't have time to babysit the baby.
I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine.
I hope my decision is not bad?

Better accept ur daughter and her Kid
If anything happens 2 dat Baby, his or her blood is in ur head,,,
God will nt judge de boyfriend, na u way no fit secure ur daughter God go Judge,,
Better get sense and accept both of dem b4 I com Arrest you

Not a bad idea, but you should have forgiven her since and not allowing her to stay with her boyfriend when she's not ready for marriage.

iamL:


Is was exactly the same way op was a vagabond when he impregnated his daughter mother out of wedlock as well. Now the cycle has repeated itself and he wants to form righteous.

A devilish son can also use his school hours to impregnate girls.

Well I didn't know he is a single dad, at least he never said so and since I should think the best of people and not the worst, I assume he must at best be a widower or at worst be a divorcée. If he is reaping the fruit of the cycle of evil he has done, he has to take it softly. He is the chief architect, the girl is only a builder. Let him repent and give the girl a chance to repent and pray hard to break that cycle of evil or evil foundation.

You've forgiven her and yet you don't want to take care of your own grandchild. You are a wicked soul.

Survivor2020:
Thanks for all the advice. My daughter is at the hospital since yesterday night the baby is with her father.
Mother and daughter will be reunited as soon as the mother gets better

This is why I hardly waste time giving advice to people. You have made up your mind on exact thing to do , yet came here allowing people to waste their time .

My only advice for u is that u shud help in treating n making sure she n her baby her in good health....when she fully recover from her sickness if she has learnt her mistake she will cm back home to beg u don't be fooled by bringing her back home let her come by herself like d prodigal son then u accept her if u bring her home she might not fully learnt her lesson

Survivor2020:


My 7 years old doesn't stay alone at home he go to after school lessons I pick him up at 5pm Mon to thrusday we go home together , on Friday his mother pick him up he stay with her for weekend.
My daughter is sick i have seen her picture that her boyfriend father has sent to me and i couldnt hold my tears .
she urgently needs medical care and I want her to be stress free her health is very important for me the baby has her father and her father people who can take care of her while I am taking care of mine.
I rather bring her home alone and do my best as a father for her to get well because if anything happen to her I will never forgive myself.

What's the essence of seeking for advice when your mind is already made up not to carry the little baby with your daughter. Just go on with your wish, but it would have been better if you take the both of them.

Survivor2020:
My 17 years old brought shame to me last year she got pregnant, I have disowned her and sent her packing. She is staying with her boyfriend in his family home.

She gave birth 5 months ago she has been sick ever since she had the baby and the boyfriend doesn't have any money to take care of her. Plus the living condition is not suitable for her in her condition.

I have forgiven her and I want to take her back home so I can take her to the hospital for treatment but I don't want her to come with her baby. Please note there is only me and my 7 years old son at home. I work and my son goes to school till 5pm.

I don't have time to babysit the baby.
I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine.
I hope my decision is not bad?

If you know that the boyfriend doesn't have money to take care of your daughter, what makes you think he can take care of the vulnerable baby?

Please I no wan hear story after say the man abandon the pickin, child neglect or worst. As grandmother you need to step in and take care of that child because it is clear the parents are incapable of doing so.

Munzy14:

His heart was shattered considering her age..If to say na the daughter is in her 20s..Ya di understandable.

It is a proof he failed in parenting..I remembered when My aunt brought her sister's little daughter to live with them..Their next flat neighbour started having secret affair with the girl till she got pregnant..Little girl o, because she has height and big breast, the foolish guy thought na matured girl

This girl was in her 6th month before my Aunt could detect..She felt depressed..Because the Society will see her as being careless not to have noticed the girl under was pregnant for 1, 2,3....6th month.

She was soo mad at her then..But it's all cool now..To purnish the girl, she made sure she gave birth to the baby..Ka ukwu zuo ya ike..The stigma alone wu depressing.

I feel for OP..Obi gbawara ya.. Onye mee m ihe a , God knows I will soo deal with the boy...ka m hapu ibunye OP uche, Ihe m ga eme the boy wu mkpebi mu na chukwu..

Onwehu onye m tuwara nwa ya ime at that age, onye atuwala nwa nke m..Gaaskia!

I werela ya personal.

Ufodu umu nwoke n'emekari ka nkita ma ha hu nwata nwaanyi.
No self-control.

Chydo63:
oohh wait, so he even had both children with different mothers and he's here acting like a saint? mtchweee
my friend, dont make the same mistake my parents made with my late elder sister who's daugther we can't trace!

I can't even imagine the pain your family is experiencing, not knowing where your niece is.

Just take both of them else the baby might die and your daughter won't forgive you for life