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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Adoption Is Not Worth It At All (44827 Views)
I Want To Give My Daughter Up For Adoption / Are Best Friends Worth It? Mine Abandoned Me In The Streets Of A Foreign Country / Marriage is a scam to men, it is not worth it (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by PoliteActivist: 7:47pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
Shikena: Or maybe he has periods of lucidity |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by PoliteActivist: 7:53pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
wirinet: Have you ever asked yourself one simple question: HOW DOES Gary Zukav KNOW?? Just because something sounds logical doesn't mean it's true. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Johnn44: 8:24pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
wirinet:I remember the mental health section of family home Medical emergency self help book “YOUR HEALTH & YOU” volume 1 says most mental health patients on having brain examined, have all parts identical with healthy non mentally Ill people. Children with one mad parent are 13% susceptible/risk vulnerability which is on the low side . No single gene causes madness. And several Unfavorable environmental conditions need to be fulfilled to trigger the susceptibility Sorry to say, but speaking from personal experience l know a church member who ran mad prior to the early 2000s. Over 30years ago . No great Aunt or grandparent or lst cousin or 2nd cousin or anybody in her family had ever had any incident of madness. She ran mad immediately after struggling to have a particular extremely difficult traumatic childbirth experience. It is a rare medical condition . What l learnt from the incident. (1). Psychosis aka MADNESS is medically curable. She was immediately rushed to Nearest National Lunatic hospital , specifically Federal Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital, Enugu. Admitted for months and doctor placed her on antipsychotic drugs. She recovered completely from MADNESS and was discharged home!! And has lived 100% normal ever after ! (2) Some mad patients are lucky, they have only one mad psychosis episode. Such do not need much medication! But For full blown madness/psychosis/schizophrenia, they are placed on drugs for life & can live normally & healthily like others without anyone having hint of their problem. They are classified as terminally Ill patients just like patients with diabetes, Cancer, HIVAIDS, who are placed on drugs for life until further advancement/discovery in science that will lead to the once swallow forever cure drug model like malaria, etc (3) As soon as my church member recovered from Madness, after almost 3months of admission at the lunatic federal Neuro psychiatric hospital Enugu, she gave testimony that she thanks God for healing her and responding to treatment !!!. According to her, some patients she met at the lunatic hospital , she was discharged and certified normal before them and a rare handful few never responded to treatment. Such cases are very very rare. And the person’s hands may not be clean And Connected to spiritual sacrifices or broken evil covenants/taboos/curse . Eg https://www.nairaland.com/5366346/man-runs-mad-after-refusing (4) Sorry to say, l can imagine how many years ago that must be. Great grandparents time and grandmothers time and great aunt time! I can guess your grandparent sibling(sister) aka mother/father’s aunt; was born before 1950. your great aunt, her daughter (Mom/dad lst cousins) and son did not die of madness but died of ignorance. Madness is medically curable at the hospital but a lot of Africans are ignorant. This is not 1907 when madness was not medically curable and antipsychotics drugs were not much invented!!!and Yaba left was just a lunatic asylum. Well, in the 1950s, first modern antipsychotics were developed! A lot of Nigerians &Africa even in 2020 computer age are superstitious and prefer to rush mad people quickly to herbal solutions and unethical medical unnecessary spiritual houses to seek spiritual ❌❌❌ & traditional help as a first resort . Thereby aggravating worsening the condition and rendering the patient medically inassistable. They forget that it is who is sick that needs a doctor. But lunatic hospital rarely crosses the mind of an Average Nigerian first, when dealing with Mad neighboour or Church member even in this computer age 2020; talk less of our grandfathers and great grand parents time. I repeat Do not DENY A MAD PERSON RIGHT TO A PSYCHIATRIC DOCTOR . A mentally Ill patient can be useful to society if they get proper medical assistance . It is a medical problem. If it is spiritual, (rare cases), the psychotic lunatic Schizophrenia ill patient won’t respond to psychosis madness drug. (5) Environment matters a lot when raising children. Drunkenness is not hereditary. Wife beater is not hereditary. There is also no single gene causing madness. But someone with a mad parent or mad identical twin has a greater measurable and quantified genetic predisposition! . Negative environmental factors trigger it. Externally, A child raised by an alcoholic parent or wife beater/abuser, is more susceptible to become alcoholic or wife beater in future!. It is not compulsory that they must , a lot can grow up normally, but Unlike children who grow up in healthy environments,, children raised in toxic negative environment are more susceptible & at greater risk of developing negative abusive tendencies they were exposed to! Especially if they were already genetically susceptible & negative environmental factors are aggravated. I know a high school friend whose divorced father asked him to jump off his car to the school gate without stopping the vehicle. Unfortunately, he landed with his skull on the ground in front of the school gate . He suffered really traumatic head injuries & brain trauma & was admitted for almost a full term at the hospital! His head was stitched in several places!. And he had a slight memory loss. A child with a genetical predisposition to schizophrenia say 5% predisposition, having such brain injuries might have such a negative physically stressful head accident trigger madness . (6) When my church member was schizophrenic, the young father as a safety precaution quickly exited all her other children who were minors away from her within a day interval and took them to pastors house. Only the lactating breast sucking almost did not make it to earth new born (who miraculously suffered traumatic birth that triggered her mom’s madness) was left with her supervised. Growing up with an uncured mad person is too physically draining & mentally stressful and traumatically toxic environment for healthy people . Not to mention rearing children in such toxic stressful environment instead of taking them away to safer environment. It is not medically advisable to leave kids of a mad parent with the unwell parent . Unwell Schizophrenic patients are better locked away at lunatic Neuro psychiatric hospital with fellow mad mentally unstable psychosis patients chained to their hospital beds until doctor certified them medically fit for discharging! . A schizophrenic psychotic patient can harm the child, even the constant yelling carrying of instruments is too toxic & mentally stressful to expose a child to. It can impact negatively on an adult’s mental health & mental well-being talkless of a child.Only a medically certified healed parent should be allowed to be in same environment to nurture kids for obvious reasons. https://docayomide.com/psychiatric-hospitals-nigeria/ https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-48259367 2 Likes
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Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Odebayo4010(m): 8:39pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz: The point I don't recognize in your statement is that Nuture a kid when he is small His true nature will come out once he grows,so you're telling us that we should not train our children abi,you mean train children is meaningless abi? |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by ObalendeCMS: 8:45pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
Shikena: Yeah. Like schizophrenic. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Hassanmaye(m): 8:58pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz:Thanks |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by sugarlyn: 9:36pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
Sorry for speaking the truth but your father's friend did not train his adopted sons very well. Even untrained children that live with their parents also engage in criminal activities. So it's no news that the boys turned out that way! |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by speedxe1256(m): 10:01pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
Divay22: May your days be long 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by zubito(m): 10:04pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
Dybala11: I means it's a well established theory in genetics that character traits can be inherited by offsprings from the parents. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Dybala11(m): 10:15pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
zubito:Oh boy, the mendelian laws (i.e the law segregation of genes and the law of independent assortment) has nothing to do with social vices bro, the word "character/traits" has nothing to do with the type of behaviour you'll turn out to have in your adulthood. Yahoo Yahoo, armed robbery, becoming a ritualist etc, are not the inheritable characters/traits the mendelian laws was referring to. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by sweetgala(m): 10:25pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
PoliteActivist: Mental illness and madness are not interchangable. What we call madness in Nigeria is more often undiagnosed multiple personality disorders which can be triggered by PTSD, acuure depression etc To suggest that madness is genetic is to suggest character is genetic, or that there is a gay gene. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by kernniejay(m): 10:25pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz:I hate to meddle in your arguments but I need to let you know that your analogy does not hold water. You talked about Moses being raised in Egypt yet destroyed Egypt that raised him. No Egypt was destroyed by any Moses. Meanwhile, if you are Igbo that does business in Kano and prospers, then ethnic crisis started and the Hausas in Kano started killing the Igbos at sight in Kano, you as an Igbo man in Kano, will you join the Hausas to kill your fellow tribesmen because you are doing well in the Hausa's land or will you rise up and defend yourself and your tribesmen against their killers? Let the answer keep pounding in your mind. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Dwightventures(m): 10:37pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
I'm even surprised that adoption exists in this ignorant, closed-minded, backward society. Big kudos to those who went through with it. The whole object of this thread is the very fact of how the society brings everything to bear to demonize something too advanced for their level of development 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Dextre(m): 11:18pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz: Are you a kid? Your level of reasoning baffles me a lot. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Emmanuel30a: 11:59pm On Oct 01, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz:This example is intangible&ineligible...It is not viable, let alone reliable...What did you know about Isrealites&Egyptians? Moses mistakenly killed when trying 2sepera |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by antibullshit: 1:17am On Oct 02, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz:Genes matter but not to the extent you say. A persons environment and how they're treated matters more than anything else. You really need to lighten up. |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by bigcasava1(m): 1:28am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Sheistoopretty:Are you adoptee? |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 2:27am On Oct 02, 2022 |
1000 unsuccessful? Haba , where did you get your statistics from dear sir, or u sha just dey talk How can you say that. Normally I no dey like comment for all this kind of talk but I'll drop my 2cent on this one. Say your father's friend was unlucky with his own adopted kids does not mean everyone that has adopted kids have bad results, any kid especially in 9ja can turn to a pain in the ass weather they are adopted or not, due to how 9ja don be now sef, it's hard to raise kids without them getting involved in one illegality or bad character (some don't sha) Yes you made some points too about the lack of family background for the orphanage kids here in 9ja, lol, 9ja no dey ever get record for anything, nothing can be traced and yh most kids might be having some mental issues from parents, like mad people kids, some demented parents abandoned baby and all that kind of things, we get it, but no matter what bro, saying openly and generalizing all of them to be bad and not worth it is plain ignorance, it's not enough to raise kids with love, like u said ur father's friend did, maybe he raised them with so much love that he didn't think to discipline the from small, that too can be a problem. There is no rule book on how to raise kids, everyone is only doing thier best, because Las Las pikin way go spoil go spoil, no matter how well u raise them. Instead of just painting only the bad picture of adopting a child and trying to discourage families who might be interested in this process, it's better you should advise them to do proper research first about the kids parents and birth condition, and also use good reputable orphanage homes that still have records, Because what you're doing is closing doors to some kids which their future may depend on that family that want to adopt them (which is evil) There's always alot of bad eggs in everything Doesn't mean everyone is a bad egg. Just like the guy calling u gay, maybe he also has seen someone talk the way u talk and that person is a gay person, so when he see u talking this way he then assume you are also gay. Just the same way u assume all adopted kids are bad because ur father's frnd had bad experience. OK bye JackDaAlienz: |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 2:35am On Oct 02, 2022 |
You just dey talk out of point now , what concerns Moses in the Bible to kids at the orphanage. U dey use Moses story give example? Didn't u notice it is that same Moses that might have also saved humanity n made you it possible for u to be here to be typing this nonsense (according to the Bible) And what is it with you and always refering to Jesus any time person bash u because of your insensitive post? Lol, so u be Jesus na. Did you know that Jesus did more than just adopting kids from unknown parants? U even using Jesus to validate ur nonsense is even so contradictive, because you're doing everything that Jesus preached against. You're basically tell people that loving any kids with is not thier own very kid is a waste of time. Nigga please go rest JackDaAlienz: |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 2:42am On Oct 02, 2022 |
You'll not use your father's friend unlucky experience to condemn every orphanage sir, he is unlucky and he might even be the cause of the kids turn out, Yes sometimes genetics might play out if the kids parents were some bad eggs, but nevertheless sir, that doesn't mean kids from a perfect good parents can't turn bad too. JackDaAlienz: |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 2:45am On Oct 02, 2022 |
I'll like us to debate on this, Which of them do u think is more potent n explain y, I'll do same AfroKnight: |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 2:53am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Like you said, all you did was saw. You saw but you were not living with them to know how they were truly raised, what you are seeing outside is always different from what might be happening in the home, you know nothing about what happened in the home during that 20years, just because u feel he raised them with love doesn't mean shit, you think all u need to raise a child in nigeria is just love? Lol Come on man, I'll say it again, just because ur father's friend is unlucky doesn't mean adopted kids are waste. Seriously this is not even right to say. So all orphanage homes are a waste? All those innocent kids are waste? And don't deserve love from people that isn't their parents? Come on man, some things are not worth even saying, this like this Topic JackDaAlienz: 1 Like |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 3:01am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Oh I didn't even know u are talking about all orphanage on the world lol, so funny how u are trying to defend ur silly post. So the number estimate u said 1 out of 1000 is only successful, did u calculate all the successful adopted kids in the world? And also calculated all the successful kids that are not known yet? Tell us please JackDaAlienz: 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 3:10am On Oct 02, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz: Judging from ur comment, I'll assume u are not a kid, and you probably have kids of ur own, and I'm sure they probably turned out to be rascals just like ur father's friend kids, hence the reason you're like this. And it seems to me that u know alot of people with failed parenting, you seem to know everyone that has bad history with kids, what are the odds that your kids won't be like them haha (probably 1 out of 1000 chances) Make una leave this guy abeg, someone that's only surrounded with all the bad experiences and family disfunction, how else do u want him to see through other good perspective? He can't, he is only give u the only thing he has grown to see around him, all that is all the failures. If I were you, I would fast and pray to that Jesus that u refer to always because, soon u might drop another topic saying having kids is not worth it OK bye 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 3:14am On Oct 02, 2022 |
JackDaAlienz: Says someone who started name calling |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 3:16am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: My brother me sef dey surprised ah swear, He dey baffle to see someone who is claiming to be mature and educated talk like a total lunatic 3 Likes |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by joungblood(m): 3:32am On Oct 02, 2022 |
OsuIgboIpob: Please explain how that is impossible? For both parents to keep it secret, how exactly is it impossible |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by mecuries(m): 3:32am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Your dad's friend failed at parenting.... nothing to do with those kids |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by Emperor88(m): 4:00am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Nazgul: The only reason I still have fate in Nigeria is because of people like you, who are just less than 1% of the total population. You see the rest? Education as failed them. Imagine blaming an innocent child on adoption, when we have majority of our youths who are into prostitution, crime and drugs. Every topic you come across, you will hardly find one out of 100 intelligent person. Everyone will just abandon critical reasoning and jump on bandwagon. You see whites adopting black children without finding faults but a Nigerian can not adopt a Nigerian homeless child. They will rather give birth to 12 useless children than adopt one. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by obstead200(m): 6:00am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Nazgul:I think you are wrong. Adopted kids are not usually segregated. I think the reason why some adopted kids turn out bad can be traced to the condition surrounding their adoption. Most pple adopt a child as a last resort........when they could not give birth biologically.....and age is beginning to tell on them. This implies that the adopted kids are usually dotted upon and over pampered. Furthermore, the adopter parent is usually not so young anymore and hence cannot effect discipline as strictly as a younger parent would. Also, he is kind of mindful of what the society would say if he hits his adopted child. Due to all of this, there is the tendency to be lax in upbringing which makes them turn out bad |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by OsuIgboIpob: 6:32am On Oct 02, 2022 |
joungblood:Is it possible to keep it a secret from your 4 parents, at least? |
Re: Adoption Is Not Worth It At All by deltateam: 6:53am On Oct 02, 2022 |
Preciousgift90: Adopting girls seems much better though. 2 Likes 1 Share |
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