oracle009:


My brother... Even yoruba, we get some bastards among us. I once attended a wake keep, the son (about 35years) stood up and said: "my father is a bad man. You are all saying good things about him, but he is bad to my mother"... This na papa wey all community members said they do keep money with him o". Everyone just shouted haaaaaa...

I just look at the guy and promised myself to dissociate from him patapata. The shame was HIS alone! He dey suffer am now. No one wan relate with him for the community.

Chee59:

My mother is ten of the man your father will ever be in a 1000 lifetimes.

oracle009:


Good! Then let the poor man rest

byrron:


I genuinely shed a tear after reading this piece and I hope and pray for your heart to heal.

All the memories I have about my dad is that of a father that prioritized the general wellbeing of his 5 sons and his wife even while on his dieing bed.

Lost him sometimes in February 2022 and still grieve once in a while over his demise after I had already planned visiting Nigeria with my family to see him.

Be the best parent that one can ever be to your kids or once you start having them.

madridguy:
E sure me die na another man pickin they carry come give this man. Your own blood will never write something like this.

Make God no allow us born our enemy as child.

Kobojunkie:
You are not alone at all. This is Africa and there are plenty whose experiences mirror yours. Sadly, they have been lied to by the adults in their lives into believing that speaking out against the ills inflicted on them by their parents would bring curses and misery upon them, not realizing that it is in keeping mum that the bring such on themselves.

Chee59:

Your father. Tell that to the thing that gave life to you.

Chee59:
I can't tell of the years I believed I was worthless because of the abuse. Keeping silent is the worst. Fear and shame and guilt. It's worse than an absentee parent. The pain is second to none. And when you reach adulthood, people expect you "grow up" and "move on".

Those you see making excuses for that man on this thread have become the monsters their fathers were.

Kobojunkie:
Precisely! I have seen it enough times particularly among Nigerians to know that these evils are best confronted rather than held in order for the cycle of hurt to end with them. Those who go on to become like their parents mainly refuse to confront the hurt and pain inflicted on them by their so-called loved ones, choosing instead to hold it all in until they too begin to rationalize and accept it as being ok behavior.

Na so many of my university friends whose fathers were deadbeats and irresponsible fathers come turn become like dem papa today. When you talk to them about it, many go say na generational curse for dem family, not realizing they did it to their own selves.

Chee59:

You have no idea how traumatising it is to watch, as though, through the window, your own father being caring to a fault to every other person, except you and your siblings.
It's almost unbelievable, like, pinch yourself "am I seeing double?"
You'll be a liar when you eventually talk.

byrron:


I can feel your pains through your comments and I genuinely wished your dad was there for you.

madridguy:
E sure me die na another man pickin they carry come give this man. Your own blood will never write something like this.

Make God no allow us born our enemy as child.

Chee59:

He's dead to me.

zoedew:
All he owed them was food shelter point them to God live accordingly education and probably the house he lived in while alive.

JORDAN202:
HEY


ANY CHILD THAT COULD WRITE SUCH FOR ANY DEAD PARENT, IS A WICKED ASSHOLE.

YOU WERE AN ADULT WHEN HE WAS STILL ALIVE, YET YOU DID NOT HAVE THE COURAGE TO CONFRONT HIM.

IF YOUR STORY IS TRUE, YOU SHOULD HAVE CONFRONTED THE MAN BEFORE HE DIED SO THAT HE CAN EXCERCISE HIS RIGHT TO REPLY.

MAY YOUR OWN CHILDREN DO THE SAME OR WORSE TO YOU UPON YOUR DEATH.

madridguy:
E sure me die na another man pickin they carry come give this man. Your own blood will never write something like this.

Make God no allow us born our enemy as child.

Mindlog:

2Corinthians 12:14
You are in denial.

The present generation and the future ones, are becoming more daring and less comfortable with "eye service" and cover ups.

The emotional blackmail the society has been using to subsidize deadbeat parents is fast losing its grip on children of neglectful parents.

Publicly treating deadbeat parents mess ups is becoming the new cool.

For those conversant with the bible: Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.....Col. 3:21

JORDAN202:
HEY


ANY CHILD THAT COULD WRITE SUCH FOR ANY DEAD PARENT, IS A WICKED ASSHOLE.

YOU WERE AN ADULT WHEN HE WAS STILL ALIVE, YET YOU DID NOT HAVE THE COURAGE TO CONFRONT HIM.

IF YOUR STORY IS TRUE, YOU SHOULD HAVE CONFRONTED THE MAN BEFORE HE DIED SO THAT HE CAN EXCERCISE HIS RIGHT TO REPLY.

MAY YOUR OWN CHILDREN DO THE SAME OR WORSE TO YOU UPON YOUR DEATH.

madridguy:
E sure me die na another man pickin they carry come give this man. Your own blood will never write something like this.

Make God no allow us born our enemy as child.

Kobojunkie:
Chances of that happening are greatly reduced by their admitting to themselves that what they experienced at the hand of their father is wrong! You cannot make progress if you don't first admit the problem for what it is. And that is what they have done here.

donpapa:
They should go and face their lives too so that there kids won’t say the same about them

abobote:
Ungrateful children, bringing them to the world should be a legacy, and he gave them education which gave them the audacity to express themselves arrogantly