Hi Nayah,
Yes, weight is Important but then it also depends on the partner.
My husband would'nt have given me a glimpse If I were fat.
I've been married for just over 11 years and still retain my size 10/12.

It really matters.You wont enjoy an obese partner,trust me.

Na wa oh. It has gone from health to sex . Enjoy gini?

I am nt a fan of fat ppl,I am someone who walks on d street,see a very fat man,imagine him naked and I laugh and laugh and laugh(been able 2 influence ppl 2,as my friends and sisters nw do it).I have been able 2 encourage my sisters and friends who have babies 2 gym,and those who took my advice loose d baby fat in a month,so having 2 live a lifetime of embarassment cuz of a child,is nt a good enuf excuse for me.I weigh 57kg and still jog every morning with my sisters.how can a lady in her 20's weight as high as 100kg,u be cement?haba!I love slim,make u feel and look good.

claremont:

Have you ever considered that a husband/wife can loose interest in his/her spouse on account of being overweight?! I believe most people are pushed into marital infidelity simply because their partner is no longer the person they married weight-wise, hence they pursue their fantasies elsewhere. If I were in a position were my spouse is over-weight, I will cajole her into joining a gym, or going out running together; but if all else fails, I don't see myself being in a relationship were I am NOT physically attracted to my partner, I will be deluding myself. It's not about selfishness either, it's simple common sense.

So if you're not physically attracted you'll stop loving your spouse? Interesting and very vain. Even if my spouse lost an arm or a leg or went blind, I wouldn't just abandon him for selfish reason. You still don't understand what selflessness is.

Cuddlemii:

Na wa oh. It has gone from health to sex . Enjoy gini?

I wonder too

Cuddlemii:

Na wa oh. It has gone from health to sex . Enjoy gini?

I wondered the same thing and wonder if these people have any idea what marriage really ENTAILS?

People in comparison to forefathers are quick to divorce someone over something as shitty as weight loss/gain, disability, financial loss/gain, and lack of understanding/compassion. It is a wonder why many of them are single and still wondering what it is they are looking for.

Some people just shouldn't get into marriage.
They should just remain as Bf and GF for ever.

If this is the same "me me me" mentality people are carrying into marriage these days it is no wonder the marriage institution is under serious attack today.

Stop looking at my hips.

In my opinion, a persons weight (or fitness) in addition to other qualities/attributes (physical, academic/intelligence, financial, emotional, exposure etc )that he/she possesses helps in forming the overall impression of the man/woman on either partner.

the weight thing is silent and even subtle yet it speaks a lot. even if you disagree on the basis of sex and romance in a relationship, you would agree on the basis of health.

bottom line, i think its better to stay in shape

No one's saying it isn't. Just saying it's not something to start throwing tantrums and flinging divorce papers about.
That would be reckless.

as much as people are free to prefer slim to being slightly (or moreso) overweight, you would do yourself some good to remember that you won't always look the way you did when she met you either. if you choose to leave her when/if she puts on weight with age and from bearing your own children, remember she could equally have the option to leave you when your hairline recedes or disappears or you develop a gut or you lose your job or you have any other problem she can't be bothered dealing with cos it's really your problem, not hers.

why can't you stand by her and work with her? why then are you in the relationship? i shake my head at ppl saying "if she gains weight after i marry her, maybe i will have to leave",  so why the heck did you get married? did your vows at the altar mean nothing to you? you think marriage is child's play? you would have to overcome many, and i repeat, many, hurdles in your journey together, and believe me when i say weight would be one of your least worries.

moreover, ppl can be big and beautiful. the goal is to be healthy, not to be stick-skinny. i blame the west and the media for infusing us with anorexic-looking girls and convincing us that is the ideal for a beautiful woman.

i just hope women would learn to be more confident in themselves and their weight and not wait for a man to define, on their behalf, whether they are in an acceptable weight range or not. women should look at themselves, if they don't feel comfortable with the way they look, they should work on it. if they feel comfortable, then that's good for them. any man that comes along can lovingly make a suggestion about her weight, and it becomes her prerogative whether or not to accept it, depending ofcourse on how much she values her man's opinion. but any man who dims it fit to give a threat or an ultimatum, is just being plain ridiculous.

Skii:

In my opinion, a persons weight (or fitness) in addition to other qualities/attributes (physical, academic/intelligence, financial, emotional, exposure etc )that he/she possesses helps in forming the overall impression of the man/woman on either partner.

the weight thing is silent and even subtle yet it speaks a lot. even if you disagree on the basis of sex and romance in a relationship, you would agree on the basis of health.

bottom line, i think its better to stay in shape

How would you like it if your wife tell you "Honey, I want a divorce because you have gotten too old and doesn't please me the way you used to". How would you HONESTLY RESPOND?

Now put yourself in OP's wife shoes. This is not something you should bother a judge about. There are more ISSUES in life/marriage then a man bitching about his wife's dimpled cheeks.

Mrs.Chima:

How would you like it if your wife tell you "Honey, I want a divorce because you have gotten too old and doesn't please me the way you used to". How would you HONESTLY RESPOND?

Now put yourself in OP's wife shoes. This is not something you should bother a judge about. There are more ISSUES in life/marriage then a man bitching about his wife's dimpled cheeks.

I'd say, Honey you have gotten old too

But seriously, I don't think what you asked really mirrors the situation or conveys adequately, what you have in mind to get across

as for the OP's wife, i agree with you that there are certainly more issues than weight gain in a marriage, but again, i still believe that it adds to it. especially when their sex life could very much still be active. for instance,i'm no expert, but i believe there is a general opinion that having sex (or making love, as the case may be) to fitter slimmer sized women(or bodies that are well taken care off) is more pleasurable and satisfying than larger fatty sized women
I happen to share this point of view too. i might be wrong though

Skii:

I'd say, Honey you have gotten old too

But seriously, I don't think what you asked really mirrors the situation or conveys adequately, what you have in mind to get across

as for the OP's wife, i agree with you that there are certainly more issues than weight gain in a marriage, but again, i still believe that it adds to it. especially when their sex life could very much still be active. for instance,i'm no expert, but i believe there is a general opinion that Being Intimate (or making love, as the case may be) to fitter slimmer sized women(or bodies that are well taken care off) is more pleasurable and satisfying than larger fatty sized women
I happen to share this point of view too. i might be wrong though

"You have gotten too old", I will take that as a compliment seeing I haven't reach the "old maid" age.      

By all means I am not saying you shouldn't have YOUR PREFERENCES but I am saying what if the shoe was on the other foot.  How would you feel?  The same way you would feel would be the same she would feel.  That's all I am saying. 

If your wife becomes fat by all means at least help her lose the weight without threatening her with divorce.  If she refuses try other solutions before the final ax drops.

Marriage is about work and unity.  I guess it is better to be single rocking the "old people" chair alone huh?

Okayyyy, i think i just figured you out

lemme hand it to you
well, if it were the other way round, that is, the pressure was on me to drop some weight, i honestly would put in work (effort) and truly appreciate support from my spouse (unity) but i would likely react defensively to threats and ultimatums especially when they appear unrealistic, selfish and inconsiderate.

but agreed, there should be no room for laziness and nonchalance on either foot

Skii:


but agreed, there should be no room for laziness and nonchalance on either foot

I agree.  It goes both ways. 

Someone told me there is a fine line between fake love and real lust.

[size=18pt]unless[/size] he came to me and said something along the lines of "baby, please. I need you to lose this weight. I want us to grow old together. Good health is a must in order for us to do so. Let's get in shape together and make this a goal for the both of us."

as CORNY as that is, I'd consider. I may even ask him to slap himself 1 time instead of 4!

HOWEVER, if its all about looks, his reputation or some sort of control game. I'd slap him myself.

MzDarkSkin:

[size=18pt]unless[/size] he came to me and said something along the lines of "baby, please. I need you to lose this weight. I want us to grow old together. Good health is a must in order for us to do so. Let's get in shape together and make this a goal for the both of us."

as CORNY as that is, I'd consider. I may even ask him to slap himself 1 time instead of 4!

HOWEVER, if its all about looks, his reputation or some sort of control game. I'd slap him myself.

That's reasonable but some said they will skip the moment they see a dent. I know these ladies that have image conscious men better stick with celery and water.

everything is on how you'll say to your partner

it's just soooo jacked up what lack of self esteem can cause one to do and endure. SMH.

That's pathetic Sis.

god forbid say i marry woman wey dey sized like a mechelin tire

@ Shy one! you're obviously not married and if you are its for all the wrong reasons

@ star

I'm not married - but I have been married and my husband helped me with weight loss, maintaining that loss and toning when I was married- we walked together, bought matching bikes and biked together for very long distances - our bike rides would last 1 hour most times and at least twice a week we would bike for 2 hours at a time. He didn't threaten on any level - none of my posts has been of a threatening level - THEY WERE FACTUAL. I have always enjoyed working out ALWAYS.

Let's get real here - risking my marriage by presenting myself in an unhealthy manner WASN'T AN OPTION - having children isn't an excuse. My husband was important enough to me for me to "get it together."

I also enjoyed my husband being able to lift me as my enjoyment for athleticism also followed us into the bedroom. I wanted to be able to make him laugh, make myself laugh and I wanted our o.rgasms. to be mutually satisfying to us both. I didn't want him losing interests in me because of something that I could actively change - which is my body shape. He turned me on completely and I wanted to turn him on completely as well.

Being fat, too thick, out of shape WASN'T AN OPTION for me or for him.

I completely agree with Skii

I definitely was married FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS. And we were together "til death do us part." Women and men who get out of shape and stay out of shape without bothering to really focus hard on doing something about it - are ignoring their vows as far as I am concerned. Why would you jeopardize your marriage by not pulling your own weight in the relationship? And I mean that literally. Pull your weight in a form in which you can carry it easily. If you are huffing and puffing, dragging your large behind around. Why in the world would you think your partner would be ok with that and/or that it wouldn' t negatively affect your relationship in some way, shape or form?

For some reason now I wanna see what sexy Shy-one looks like

Its sad when people divorce over body images.  SMH. 

Ladies, are you eating celery?  You don't want to be divorce ooo!   

LMAO@can't have an orgasm because of cellulites!

Very sad indeed

Nayah:

Very sad indeed

Yes it is.  Very sad indeed. 

What's worse those people who are divorcing or have divorced over the simplest things are usually "Christians" and "Muslims". 

A friend of mine told me those "people" were never Christians and Muslims because the real ones fear their Creator and obey their Creator commands.  I stressed to her that not everyone is "religious" nor "spiritual". 

What do you think about that?

Hi Mrs Chima you know I don't really like judging people's privacy so I'd say that I'm not really against divorce because sometimes it's more than compulsory for you and your partner, but the only thing I could say is couple life is really hard and diffucult sometimes and people should learn to be patient and understanding because we notice nowadays that people prefer getting married more for the better than for the worst

Nayah:

Hi Mrs Chima you know I don't really like judging people's privacy so I'd say that I'm not really against divorce because sometimes it's more than compulsory for you and your partner, but the only thing I could say is couple life is really hard and diffucult sometimes and people should learn to be patient and understanding because we notice nowadays that people prefer getting married more for the better than for the worst

Hello Nayah!  By all means I believe people should live their life anyway they see fit because they are the ones will be affected by the repercussions, however I just find it interesting people wear different coats when it come to justifying their "beliefs".

People go into relationships thinking the it will be peachy and cream and no matter how much we can control our relationships it won't change what will happen in our lives.  They are not taking in account of all other factors that will test their marriage/relationship such as death, job loss, relocation, illness, and financial issues. 

I am using relationships addition to marriage because some people do not believe in marriage or want to be married and if those in relationships can't survive on simple crust such as body image then I feel sorry for them when serious factors come their way. 

This generation is about simplicity and if it become too unbearable (excluding physical abuse and death threats) escape is an excellent option for many.

"unbearably" what does it means for you? because for some people quarrelling or infidelty once, means divorce

Nayah:

"unbearably" what does it means for you? because for some people quarrelling or infidelty once, means divorce

Infidelity and fighting fall under the umbrella of physical abuse.  I mentioned excluding physical abuse and death threats in my last post. 

Unbearable in my definition means people can't handle it may it be weight gain, lack of sex, illness, family disputes, and whatever else.